Runaway
by Ink Child
Summary: (Sasu/Hina Naru/Hina) Reeling from the death of her beloved Hinata makes a split second decision to disappear from her life. Taking their children with her she relocates to the place she loved to dream about as a child and finds to her surprise the one person who also chose to vanish from their home town, the infamous Sasuke Uchiha. AU set in our world. Mature content.
1. Chapter 1

_**Teaser: Runaway**_

 _ **A.N:**_

 _ **Paint With Words is coming to an end. I have one of two chapters left ready, and with the death of a story usually comes the screaming kicking birth of another.**_

 _ **This story has been festering in my mind for a very long time. It took root so long ago I don't recall it's complete origin.**_

 _ **Not to sound too melodramatic but this story is quite close to my heart. There are aspects of it that I do think will be hard for me to write (for personal reasons not creative ones) so I hope that people will take that into consideration when reviewing. It is the first completely new fic that I will be writing as an adult.**_

 _ **Writing is my therapy. What comes out is often more than just a way to entertain.**_

 _ **I do want critical reviews willing to be honest and eloquent in flaws or errors in my work. Those reviews are precious to me, more so than those stating they love the story and to continue, but ALL are welcome.**_

 _ **I hope that you enjoy this, it is after all part of the charm of my therapy, it can be shared.**_

 _ **much love,**_

 _ **Inky**_

* * *

 _With the air gone she couldn't think how she would breathe, how could she possibly keep on going with the pain in her lungs taking over the way her body moved. Each muscle was screaming, each vein feeling on fire, acid ripping apart her insides, pain spreading on the atoms that made up her skin._

 _The news had come with no fanfare. There were no cop cars with flashing lights in the driveway. It had been a call. The call had not been frantic there had been no screaming, no crying._

 _The words had been soft and quiet, she thought later, that he must have been in shock when he said it. But in the moment there was only the stillness of the words released into the air tainting it, making its very essence a poison._

 _The next breath was that of pain and death, she gasped on it, coughed, felt what seemed to be blood in her mouth, felt herself lowering down to the floor, feeling the hardness of the ground beneath her bare knees._

 _Outside of her room the window glistened with stars and rain, that was the one melodramatic part of the entire moment. The rain was pouring buckets. It was the killer, after all._

 _It was the thing that took her husband._

 _That godforsaken rain._

* * *

The airport was a beehive. Having not been out in public for several months she gripped the hands of her babies with white knuckled force and stumbled through the chaos with her eyes wide and frightened.

The toddlers were subdued at her feet, stumbling along in quiet steps. This was unlike both of them, where they would have been asking a million questions the children followed with muted breaths and downcast eyes.

Their questions and screams had torn the flesh from her soul when they found out. She had sobbed so hard as they inquired about their father, not understanding her muffled wept words. Eventually her sister had had to take over.

 _Your daddy did something very brave._

 _Your daddy loves you so much._

 _Your daddy is not coming back home._

Hinata did not smile at the woman at the counter. She pushed her passport towards her with trembling pale fingers and reached back down to take a hold of her son's hand. He held her in a sweaty pudgy grip.

"Are you going on vacation?" The woman asked her children.

The four year old looked back at her for a long agonized moment and shook his head, keeping his brilliant blue eyed gaze fixed on her face. "No."

"My daddy died." Beside her the three year old whispered it, one thumb popping out of her mouth just long enough to release the pain and awkwardness into the air.

The woman's face crumbled, searching first the kids faces and then looking back up to Hinata's own impassive gray eyes.

"Oh, ma'am. I'm so very sorry. Please... may I see if I can find you an upgrade?"

"That won't be necessary." her voice was like cracking ice. Screaming in her sleep, weeping until she was hoarse had made it's usually feather soft tones feel like ragged claws.

"Please, it would be a pleasure to make your trip more enjoyable. It would be on us."

For a moment Hinata hesitated. The look on the woman's face was agonized, searching her expression for some semblance of happiness.

Sighing softly Hinata nodded, unable to comply with a smile. "Thank you, we would appreciate that very much."

It was always like this, any shop they entered, any grocery store, any place where their faces were familiar in their tiny bit of nothing for a town.

It was time to go.

"Have a safe trip. When will you be returning, hun?" The woman asked her son, allowing herself to pet the dark locks of hair that crazily framed his head.

"Never." He whispered softly, shaking his head. "We're never coming back."

Before the poor girl could start crying Hinata slid her bag back onto her shoulder and took her children's hands.

"Let's go, darlings."

And she didn't look back.

* * *

He slammed back another shot and briefly observed that the taste which had been so bitter to him three years ago had long ago been burnt right off his tongue.

The pounding of the music and the frantic movement of the bodies writhing on the dance floor was a background noise by now. Instead he listened to the thumping of his heart beat and the essential way it sped through his veins, thinned by the high volumes of tequila he had downed.

It always took the edge off to start the night with tequila. After that, he knew he could do and say literally anything and just not care about.

In fact, his eyes lingered on the blonde next to him, eyeing him up as much as he was eyeing her.

In his intoxicated state he wondered briefly why she seemed so familiar until her blushing face turned away from him for a moment and whispered something to the pink haired girl next to her.

In that one second of girlish immature action Sasuke Uchiha felt the slam of responsibility hit him square on the chest and he felt sick for a second.

Those were his students. Those were two of his stupid hormone enraged students and they were in a bar and they were drinking and they were looking at him with less than virginal intentions.

Cursing he went to get up and realized that no-the tequila really had taken the edge off and with it, it had also taken his balance.

Sitting back down he pulled his phone out of his pocket and proceeded to turn rapidly, camera at the ready to snap a picture, flash on and everything.

Beside him the two girls jumped, their expressions a little offended in the photo that appeared on his phone before scooting over the two bar stools to get near him enough that they didn't have to yell so loud to be heard.

Pulling back quite a bit as they encroached on his personal space Sasuke fought to both not fall on his ass in front of the two irrational teens and not slur his words too much when he cut Ino off. "Just so you know that picture is heading straight to Principal Tsunade's office." And he began to type the email out on his phone while the two girls fluttered around him spouting words that were too high pitched in his drunkenness to make any sense.

" _Please_! Please, Uchiha-sensei! We'll do anything!" Sakura was gasping. On a regular day he would have had no problem ignoring the extra cleavage currently drooping out of her dress or the way she leaned out on the counter to implore him with big green eyes and plump pink lips. But that had been a lot of tequila and sensing that there was a real possible danger of him looking a bit too long at his students in a way that was disgusting and terrifying he took a chance at falling on his ass and stood.

The room swayed, beneath his feet he could feel the thumping of the floor as hundreds of dancers jumped up and down to some song he probably should know. The lights flickered and shimmered and began their aggressive strobe effect.

Ino's hand on his chest nearly had him tumbling off the raised step of the bar onto the dance floor. Her body suddenly wasn't in her seat but glued to his chest, her palm over his heart, her other hand sliding downwards. "Literally, anything, Uchiha-sensei." she whispered, blue eyes wide and innocent despite her words.

Adrenaline was suddenly pumping through his body, sobering him up just enough to give her a rather aggressive shove.

"Get yourselves back home before I call your parents," He snapped, proud that there had been minimal slurring and overall the whole concept of the sentence had made sense.

Leaving them wide eyed at the bar he turned and headed out through the throng of bouncing moving bodies, trying to keep his breathing even and his head down.

Hopefully no one saw the interaction. Hopefully no one had any of it on video or in a picture. Hopefully he had acted appropriately and wouldn't get in trouble for leaving them here to figure getting home on their own.

He was drunk, decidedly completely drunk, and going out the door with two of his students in their current attire sounded like a good way to get sued.

"Who are the babes?" Someone had their hand on his shoulder and for a moment he thought he was going to turn around and punch whoever it was in the face.

But the touch was familiar and after a moment he realized he also recognized the voice. Allowing himself a slow slightly dizzying eye roll Sasuke glanced back at Kiba, shaking his head.

"Students, you idiot. You want to spend the rest of your life in jail?"

There was a pause where he thought maybe Kiba was no longer with him as his hand disappeared but the boy was looking back and craning his head so hard it might fall off. "Holy smokes- what the hell are they _doing_ here?" He shouted over the pounding of the next song. Rapidly he turned to catch up to the dark haired irritable drunk heading towards the exit.

"They were here for you?"

"I don't know."

"You do know!" Kiba's voice sounded awkwardly loud as they stepped out into the coolness of the evening, breathing in the fresh air and at the same time feeling significantly more intoxicated without the drunken crowd to blend into.

"All I know is I need this job, these stupid girls are going to get me fired."

"Oh but I mean, if you have to get fired, that would be a nice way to-"

"Ugh." Sasuke growled. He wasn't a dead man so yes, he was aware that being as young as he was, being a full teacher at a highschool he was BOUND to have a bit of a problem not... appreciating... his oldest students but he was _still_ a teacher. Only a couple years older than them sure but _still_.

"They're only 18, Kiba. I'm their sensei."

Kiba was drunk, he could tell by the wolfish grin that plastered on his face and the "Kinky," reply he gave to that comment. Wincing Sasuke shook his head. The normal daylight Kiba would have been horrified that students were hitting on him again. He would have been more concerned about his friend's job situation, he would have supported his rational mature decision to _not_ engage in any thoughts about the students and he would have been vocal about the kind of will power that probably took.

But this wasn't daylight Kiba. This was...

"I mean, just think about it for one second..."

"No, Kiba." Christ was he the only person on the planet that wasn't turned on by bouncing boobs and round asses?

Actually. Probably.

Kiba had bothered to look it up once, while in class at the university on their last semester before becoming full fledged teachers. It was called Sapiosexual, and it was the orientation of being attracted to someone's mind. Sasuke had been surprised that there was a term for it but also a little bit relieved. If there was a term then it wasn't that weird was it?

"It's a bit weird." Kiba continued, strolling along beside him on the busy street. Clubs lined all the sidewalks, as well as late night shops that carried less savory materials for daylight hour shopping.

"I mean, you're probably what, a ten in the girl one to ten hotness scale?"

"Did you just _comment_ on my hotness?"

Ignoring him, Kiba continued, unaffected. "And so most girls who see you are like 'Oh Sasuke' with hearts around their heads."

" _You_ just commented on my hotness."

"And yet," Kiba pushed on, as though words were not coming out of his friend's mouth. "You see them and it's like 'oh look, molecules in the shape of a woman'."

" _Do not_ comment on my hotness again." Sasuke grumped.

"Do you even see them? Like if they have a nice... ya know... whatever." Kiba was sobering up a bit from the rapid walk, and as the tequila he had accompanied his friend with faded so did his ability to say certain words. Namely words his mom wouldn't be proud to hear him saying.

"Of course I see them." Sasuke grumbled. He wasn't a virgin, for crying out loud. It would have been a pretty damn hard thing to do, remain a virgin with women literally climbing into his lap at parties and clubs. He saw them, he felt them,but that didn't mean that he was particularly pleased when he got himself drunk enough to wake up next to one of them.

Anything that came out of their mouths after the fact was always so grating. Only once had he thought maybe he could have worked something out if he hadn't been so drunk as to take her home, and she had cried. She had cried because she had had the good sense to know that waking up next to a stranger- hot or not- was not the way to go about making life choices.

She had been smarter than him, he knew it was a bad idea, and consistently made the same damn mistake. Unlike the girl, whose name he could not remember, who had cried, apologized to him and vowing never to do this again scrambled out of his apartment at high speed.

"Okay so, you do think about it then?"

Sasuke stopped, glaring at his friend through a haze of liquor. "Kiba. They're kids."

"Not really, dude. Not from what I just saw at that bar."

"In their heads they are, and that's where it counts."

Kiba paused, thinking his statement over in his head while Sasuke continued down the street, his hands jammed in his pockets angrily.

"Yeah okay, I see your point."

"It's not a point, it's a fact." Sasuke muttered over his shoulder. "This isn't a debate."

"Well, it's going to be damn hard getting a girlfriend then. You and I are too old for our students, too young for our coworkers and too busy for a life outside of work." Kiba laughed, patting Sasuke's back as he caught up. "It's like, hey maybe we should just date."

Sasuke shoved him, hard, sending him sprawling into the wall of the building they were walking beside. "You comment on my hotness and then you say we should date. Whatever you're drinking you have to stop. I will kill you."

Kiba rubbed his cheek roughly as he caught up. "I just like that you keep saying the word hotness." he smirked. "Makes your face look like it's going to implode."

* * *

Hinata's little apartment had appeared cute in the pictures she had seen on the website advertising it as availability. It had soft colored walls of pastel blue, there were two rooms, one for the kids and one for her. There was a small kitchen with a window above the sink looking out into the street, and a sliding door to the porch beside it.

The living room and dining area were the same place, because it was Japan and in Japan you made moves to keep space flexible. Off the hall entering the little place there was a bathroom with a tub.

And that was that.

She spun slowly in a circle, feeling the tug of the kids hands on her skirt as she twisted, examining every angle of their tiny abode.

"Well. We didn't bring much with us so that's a good thing..." she murmured.

"Where will our couch go?" Beside her Haku eyed the space with confused eyes. "Or our table."

It had been hard to explain to a four year old that all of their stuff would not be coming with them. She had given them each a suitcase and with a lot of effort convinced herself to let them fill it with the items they wanted to take with them.

At first they had filled it with toys, dumping blocks and cars into their respective bags until she stressed that it was the only things they would be taking with them from the entire house. Suddenly her son had taken on a more serious expression and to her complete heart break began tearing framed pictures from his shelves.

Pictures of him and his daddy.

"We won't have a couch, really, honey." Hinata murmured, walking into the tiny kitchen. At least it would be effecient. She could touch both the stove and the counter and the sink without really taking more than half a step. And she would have to have fresh items on hand at all times because there wasn't much room for storage. It would force her to really allocate her time wisely, and not daydream or...cry... too much.

"No couch?" Beside her brother Sora frowned. "But mine shoes."

"Your shows?" Hinata inquired, deciphering her baby accent as she opened the cupboards of the kitchen.

"Ya!"

"I will get a tv, but we will get a little table with comfy chairs, and we can have dinner at the coffee table." she continued.

"But..." Haku stuttered, eyes wide. "But we don't eat in the living room."

"At our old house we didn't."

"At daddy's house." Haku corrected, and Hinata closed her eyes, pressing her forehead against the stove's fan cover. This was so hard, this was just so hard. Had she made a mistake? Leaving everything and everyone behind?

"It was all of our house." She whispered, walking over and crouching down to look at Haku directly in his sky blue eyes. "Daddy and Mommy bought it together, and we loved it, and we loved having you in it, and being in the house with you. But..." she sucked air into her lungs and felt the familiar burn of the grief turning it into a poisonous gas.

"But Daddy... he's gone now, he is gone now and we have to start over so that this can be our house now."

"Without Daddy." Haku clarified, searching her face. His gaze was filling with tears, and his chin was wobbling again and Hinata felt her own expression begin to mirror his own.

"Yes, baby... Without Daddy."

"I want Daddy." Sora gasped, reaching for HInata's arm with fat baby fingers in a vice grip. "I want Daddy too!"

Hinata lowered her head for a moment, putting her hand over her mouth to stifle the sounds that were clawing their way up her throat.

"Oh honey." she finally managed, looking up at them and smiling through tears. "Oh I want daddy too babies. But he is gone, okay? Remember we talked about that?"

"But I want daddy!" Sora was gripping her arm harder and harder, and Haku was now sobbing, his face hidden in the crook of his elbow.

Hinata settled down onto her knees, dragging both her babies into her as they began to scream, whispering her love for them even as she envied their ability to be so abandoned in their grief.

* * *

 _ **To those of you flaming- my dears...take a deep breath, you're going to have a heart attack...it's a story...its just a story.**_

 _ **Everyone else**_

 _ **leave me some love, ne?**_

 _ **-inky**_


	2. Chapter 2

_**A.N**_

 _ **So I have never really considered myself a shipper of any particular pairing. I find myself writing almost all Sasu/Hina because the characters are my favorite to rework but I am definitely pro Naruto as well, actually. Like...very pro Naruto- I don't want to go into detail about how much I love that character, because it delves into my personal life a little bit but, let's just say I've never considered him 'less' than Sasuke. Quite the opposite actually. Perhaps because of how solid he is I have written little to nothing about him. His moral high ground is unquestionable and therefore doesn't spark a lot of struggle, and therefore not a lot of my stories work for him. Others sure do, which are beyond my ability to write at this point.**_

 _ **This particular story I think will be different in the sense that although the pairing is Sasuke/Hinata there is a lot of Naruto material.**_

 _ **I made the mistake of thinking maturity levels were pretty consistent across the planet and I tagged Naruto in the story (wowzers, error of errors, my god lol)**_

 _ **So I have since removed the tag, although in my mind it did make sense to have it there, but for the sake of all the fragile Naruto fans it's best not to have it on there, clearly.**_

 _ **To those of you who posted such detailed and vocal reviews about my first chapter, thank you, really. I have taken everything you have all said into consideration and reading it with all your input in mind I can clearly see what pretty much all of you mentioned.**_

 _ **NewRageInc, Shadow of Miracle, CaptainHuggyFace413 you guys are among my most constant reviewers and I appreciate the amount of trouble you bother to put into your comments. It always makes me smile and I am able to read my work again with fresh eyes. There's something about reading it again after hearing different perspectives on it that makes me see it brand new. You know when you pick up a drawing you've been working on and you look at it in front of a mirror and you're like 'oh wow, it looks like a completely different thing' that's what happens to me after you guys review my work. :) Thank you.**_

 _ **NewRageInc, I am actually editing that first chapter now because you're right pretty much on all points in your review. Thank you.**_

 _ **much love,**_

 _ **Inky**_

* * *

She woke the first day with a painful fist in her stomach. Beside her both her babies lay snoring, like their father their sleep was deep and restful. Although, lately they had been struggling to stay in the depths of slumber, instead waking often, searching in the dark for each other for their mother and usually ending the frantic search for their daddy in tears.

This night had been the same as all the other nights at home. _My old home._ Hinata corrected herself. This was home now, the place where she had languished in the arms of her first and only love had been home once.

It was no longer.

Outside the window she could see to her immense relief a sky that was bright and blue devoid of clouds. A smell of something being fried in a nearby apartment lingered in the air. She detected scents of ginger and sesame oil. She almost smiled.

Words were thrown around as other families began to get ready for the day, muffled by the walls but generally soothing in their lilting Japanese.

Nothing was familiar. And that was the charm of it. Slowly and with care she untangled herself from her baby's sleeping arms and began to get ready for the first day at her new job. Carefully she pulled out one of several pencil skirts, studying herself in her mirror with each item pressed against her hips. However nothing seemed to fit right. Months of eating little and throwing up more had resulted in several inches of baby weight sliding from her body without much effort.

She had always felt a little self conscious of the extra pounds she had gained after having Sora. They held on like magnets to her bones and no amount of heated whispered words in her ear from Naruto's mouth ever seemed to really get the dislike to fade for her love handles.

He had not noticed, or rather he had with appreciative whispered nothings in the nights.

Quietly she smoothed out her skirt, noting that it fit too loosely and that the shirt would need to have a safety pin at the top to keep it closed. She sighed.

His hands had slid over her body so many times when she stared at herself in the mirror with dislike, tracing the curves of her thighs, up over her soft tummy the old home of the two most precious things they had. His blue eyes had gazed at her in the mirror, smirking and blatant in his appreciation.

Cautiously now she reached up to her neck, feeling along the edge of her sharp jaw line, trying to remember what it felt like when his lips slid across the skin there, grasping at the memory was like holding light and with a body shuddering breath she lowered her gaze to her feet, allowing herself one wounded expression before rubbing her face.

No time, there was no time for that.

"Mama?" Haku's voice came wobbly from the covers of her bed and turning resolutely towards him she forced on a bright tear stained smile.

"Ohaiyo darling ones! Ohaiyo!"

The flurry of activity was loud and not too stressful. She had packed their lunches the night before, had pressed their uniforms, had their backpacks ready and at the front door.

Quickly and with as much cheerful smiling as possible she sat the kids at the new shiny oak table in what she was now calling the family room although really it was the everything room. Together they munched on toast and eggs, Hinata trying to pay attention to the conversation her two toddlers were having about why the people around spoke in odd words they did not understand.

But she was distracted, worry was nagging at the back of her mind. There was going to be issues with understanding her boss. Her Japanese was not perfect in fact it was rather raw. She had not used it consistently in a very long time. Being raised in the west had benefited her immensely but now she was regretting not keeping up with her studies after getting married so young.

For the first time ever she wondered if her father was right and if she had made a mistake.

Marrying young had not been what the family had wanted for her. Getting pregnant soon after had both surprised and angered them even more. She was a Hyuuga, and in their tiny home town it was expected that Hyuugas go to university, get a degree, become doctors, lawyers, senators even. And when the day of reckoning came they got nannies and continued on with their work like having a child was an extended vacation they needed a break from once the baby was weaned.

But that had not been Hinata, not from the start. Together she and Naruto had fought hard for what they wanted, and when the pregnancy came she had happily dissolved any notion of working. Their tiny tipsy house at the edge of the town line on the flat lands of the valley where they lived had been old, and well loved. And yet it had been home.

Now though, she walked through the hall of their apartment to the doorway, trying not to bump her children with the purse and backpacks that hung from her arms. Wonderingly she gazed at their matching preschool outfits, their tiny heads capped with yellow hats to distinguish them in a crowd.

Naruto would have loved to see them, proudly shining their buttons as they headed out the door to their first day at daycare. He would have encouraged Haku to be brave, and expressed to Sora his expectations that there would be no fighting.

"Let's go!" Hinata called, opening the door and tumbling out into the fray of the Japanese day.

There would be no shiny buttons or pep talk today. She couldn't give one when she needed it herself.

* * *

"Did you get a reply from Tsunade about last night?" Kiba inquired, coming up beside Sasuke as he stared out the windows of his classroom.

It was early, much earlier than most other teachers bothered to show up and only a few overtly stressed students were headed towards the classes. "No." He mumbled, rubbing his face tiredly, feeling the effects of the tequila even after drinking copious amounts of water to try to stave off the hang over.

"I didn't expect to when I checked what I wrote in the email and found a half finished sentence instead of an explanation for the picture." he muttered.

Kiba winced. Picture of students drinking at a bar from Sasuke's phone and a drunken half message with no explanation.

Yeah, probably not going to get an email. He was headed straight for a personal visit, and a personal visit meant...

"Uchiha." Tsunade's voice cut through the silence of the class and the two teachers turned calmly towards the door.

Sasuke sighed and tried to look as calm and unaffected as possible. "Principal Tsunade."

"I wanted to give you an opportunity to explain the email I received at half past 1 in the morning on Sunday night. The attachment caught my interest although, I must say the email seemed..."

"Unfinished." Sasuke supplied.

"I was going to say suicidal but I suppose unfinished does have a lighter more positive spin on it, hm?" Tsunade's blue gaze was penetrating and Sasuke took another breath to try to calm himself. It would not do to argue and irritate the one person in the building who could start the crazy roller coaster ride towards getting fired. No, it would not.

"I was out on my free time." He explained curtly. "I was having a few drinks at a club, on my day off. I saw them there, I took a picture, I sent it to you. I expressed the need for them to get home and that their parents were going to be informed. I promptly left."

Tsunade's unreadable expression did not bode well.

Beside him Kiba raised one hand up, like a tiny white flag of surrender. "I was present, Tsunade-san. We left early because of the encounter."

"Early?" Tsunade muttered. "One in the morning is early? On a work night?"

It was annoying having to listen to this whole thing again, and trying hard not to roll his eyes Sasuke restrained a sigh. Becoming a teacher had seemed at the time of his university enrollment like the best course of action. He could do anything, but honestly he wanted to do something that didn't require him to be mindlessly bored at home all the time. Teaching required he take work home, it required extra hours, it was a competitive career to get into and the fierceness of the competition had appealed to him.

Getting the position early had also been part of the goal but now he was wondering if he had made a mistake. As one of the youngest teachers in the prefecture there were issues with the students remembering he wasn't fair dating game.

Having not considered this possibility he was rather annoyed. At first the other teachers and his principal had been helpful and understanding.

Now they were starting to wonder if he was doing it on purpose and playing dumb. When students started confessing their eternal love to you in letters on a regular basis people got sick of having them presented as evidence that he wasn't interested.

And now this.

"You are not at university anymore, Uchiha-san." she frowned, one hand coming to land on her hip for extra emphasis. "You are a teacher now, and as one you must behave accordingly. I was against you being hired into a highschool, you are too close in age."

"I know." Sasuke replied, just so it would appear he was listening.

"You have to be a role model for these students, and separate yourself from them as peers."

"Yes, ma'am."

"Going out and partying isn't exactly how I would go about encouraging the next generation to be responsible citizens."

A sigh escaped him and Tsunade's eyebrows drew together menacingly.

"On other news you have managed to aggravate yet another of my Assistant Language Teachers into quitting last week."

Sasuke blinked, actually surprised by that statement. Sure he had been tough on the old fellow but it was mostly just for kicks.

"You can't be ignoring them flat out and treating them like crap. The kids and you need the expertise that they bring to the language class."

"Hai."

"So please, be considerate of his replacement. I cannot go through another hiring fiasco, I'm done. If you do not treat this one nicely I will leave you to deal with the class on your own."

This caught his attention. English Class was his least favorite class to teach. The kids stumbled through the words and made him impatient and stressed. Math and Sciences were his favorite subjects. The material had rules that needed to be followed. The information could be transmitted quickly and effectively. Things were either wrong or right. In language there was always one irritating word to throw a wrench into things. Perspective.

"Fine." He nodded. "I understand."

"Good. She will be coming upstairs to meet you shortly, I am just finishing up her orientation right now. She's fresh off the plane has only been here a week and her Japanese is dicey so stick to English for now."

Kiba cocked his head. "She's not from here?"

"No, she traveled for this job, uprooted herself completely so for heaven's sake." She glared at them as she stepped towards the door. "Don't make it hard for her. She's the last one the agency is going to send us, and like you she's brand new at this."

"New graduate?" he frowned.

"Yeah, Bachelor of Arts and History." she waved a hand to express how it didn't seem to matter to her. "Actually she's your age. It's not ideal that she has no masters but beggars can't be choosers."

Kiba perked up suddenly, walking after Tsunade as if pulled by an invisible leash. "Our age. Really?"

Sasuke leaned back against the window, closing his eyes in annoyance.

Fan-freaking-tastic.

* * *

"Thank you, Tsunade-san." Hinata bowed briefly at the door of the principal's office. Her face was red, it had been red since she stepped up to the building feeling with acute dislike the heat radiating off her face. She was nervous and nerves always made this instant heat rise to her head. Tsunade had made no comment on it, but looked wonderingly at her once or twice.

"That's the school overall." Tsunade nodded, waving away her thanks. "I think you now have had the full tour. Although you will mostly be spending time upstairs on the second floor. You will be assisting the teachers up there with their English Lessons."

"I am looking forward to it." Hinata managed, wrestling with her stutter and winning the fight by sheer force of will.

Tsunade studied her for a moment and then said very softly. "Are you all right, Hyuga-san? You seem very warm and I am sorry to have your first day be one where you are feverish."

"Oh!" Hinata gasped, shaking her head softly and feeling more and more like a fool. "N-no, Tsunada-san. I am not ill, thank you for asking."

Before Tsunade could continue to inquire as to what was wrong a pair of steps coming down the stairs suddenly echoed and as she turned she smiled, although the smile was thin and perhaps less than welcoming.

"Uchiha-san." She called as the dark haired man walked slowly down towards them, hands gripping a pile of books tightly.

His gaze flickered to the girl next to her and he froze.

Hinata's eyes were huge, in the light of the window the gray color seemed to glow back at him with her surprise. It had been over six years since he had last seen her and yet there she stood like she belonged in the school he worked at, rooted to the spot.

His face was scrambling to do something, he could feel the tension across his neck and back. Determination alone managed to keep him from not to letting his jaw drop but clench tightly.

Tsunade frowned at him openly as he stared at their new addition, clearing her throat.

"Uchiha-san, this is Hyuga-san she is our new Assistant Language Teacher."

"S-s-sasuke-kun-" Hinata began. Tsunade turned to her as though bit. "You know him?"

Before Hinata could reply Sasuke had walked down the last five steps and handed her the armful of books roughly.

"We met earlier as she came in." He stated thinly, turning her around by the shoulders and pushing her towards the stairs. "Second to last class at the end of the hall." He instructed.

Hinata took two steps forward, her face now not just red but burning. "D-demo-" she began and felt again his hand pushing much more firmly than she liked towards the stairs.

"I'll be right there, Hyuga-san." he snapped and Hinata walked up the stairs, head down.

"Not again." Tsunade's tone was less than pleasant as she turned back to him, snapping her mouth closed after being stunned into silence at their exchange. "You cannot treat people like that! You don't even know her!"

 _Oh thank God._

"She was dawdling." He muttered.

"No she wasn't she- why did she call you Sasuke-kun? You just met her this morning?"

Sasuke winced briefly. "I told her to."

"You?" Tsunade felt her face twist with disbelief. "You told her to?"

"Hai."

"You?"

"Yes, we've covered this."

"You never allow anyone- not even Inuzuka-san calls you-"

"I like her." he blurt, scrambling for reasoning when there was none. The hangover was not helping this exchange and as the words left his mouth he regretted them deeply. The look that crossed his principals face was a delirium of emotion.

"You what?"

"I think she's cute."

"Uchiha-san."

"I will be proffessional."

"You are... you are unbelievable." Tsunade cocked her head at him, hands on her hips. It was her battle stance. He was in trouble all right. Mentally chanelling all the zen in the world he took a deep breath.

"I made a mistake, I should not have told her to call me Sasuke-kun. Believe me I will make sure she understands she must call me Uchiha-san. I will do that. I wasn't aware she was the new assistant." he rambled, piecing together a story on the fly.

Never had he been more greatful for his supposed genius.

Tsunade shook her head, throwing her hands in the air before turning away to head back to the office. "You're lucky we're unionized because if I had my way..."

"Hai, hai." Sasuke grumbled as he practically ran up the stairs. "I know."

* * *

 _It can't be._

Hinata stared at his face, felt her stomach drop out of her body and her blood freeze.

No, not it couldn't be.

Her ears heard Tsunade's words.

Uchiha-san.

Uchiha.

Sasuke Uchiha.

A picture was hanging on her fridge at her apartment. There was the blonde smiling face of Naruto, he was young, much younger than the last time she had seen him, and beside him a dark brooding shadow who looked mildly annoyed at the arm her husband had thrown over his shoulder.

It had been taken long ago, before Sasuke had lost his brother, before he had began to drink and dropped out of school to study on his own.

His beauty was not perfectly captured in pictures and she realized that she had completely forgotten what he looked like despite seeing the photos regularly in her home. He had come and gone into Naruto's life before she had ever truly stepped into it and so their paths although crossed had never really mingled.

Until now, until right then.

 _Oh no. No! How did I get hired at the only school in the entirety of Japan with a person from home?_

"S-s-sasuke-kun?" Why had she called him that?! She had never ever called him that!

Dark ebony eyes lingered on her face, she watched with fascination and panic as a muscle pulsed in his jaw and he stepped down the steps so fast she was startled when his face was inches from her own, pushing an armful of books into her body without any warning.

Before she knew what she was doing she was heading up the stairs, heart pounding and completely confused. What had just happened? Why did he just do that?

Hearing the sounds of steps suddenly coming after her she jumped and nearly dropped the heavy stack of books in her arms when Sasuke appeared at the top landing, his brows furrowed as he approached her, grabbed her by the arm unceremoniously and tossed her into an empty classroom before closing the sliding door behind him.

"What are you doing here?"

Hinata blanched, taking a step back at the less than friendly tone of voice he was using. Nervously she shifted the books in her arms, feeling her purse slide off her shoulder and onto her elbow.

"I-I-I-"

Frustrated Sasuke grabbed the books from her tossing them on a desk, making her shrink into herself and take another step back that he made void by taking her shoulders in his hands.

"Hyuga, why are you here?"

Hinata blinked at him in utter confusion, her gray eyes spewing what her mouth simply could not.

"I work here!" she finally gasped, making him pause.

Slowly he took a step back, letting go of her.

"This is great." he sighed sarcastically, rubbing a hand through his dark hair. Hinata finally realized she was breathing way too fast, one hand to her chest she struggled to calm herself.

"I fly across the world to try to get away from Konoha and yet here you are." He muttered to himself, leaning against the door with eyes closed, pressing a hand to the back of his neck hard.

Hinata stared, blinking rapidly, having him take the words right out of her mouth felt strange.

She had always wondered why Naruto was so determined to stay friends with this man even though Sasuke was obviously equally determined not to be. For years after he dropped out of school Naruto had taken trips out across the country to visit his "best friend" as he called it at his university. He always begged him to come back but seemed to fail each time.

And when Sasuke graduated early and with honors, disappearing for a foreign job nearly a year ago Naruto had continued to write to him, sending letters to the PO box that was the only contact he now had with his "friend."

Sasuke never replied though and Hinata had stopped thinking about him. By the time she had entered into Naruto's life Sasuke had long ago disappeared from their town. In her mind he was a quiet boy in the back of her middle school classes.

But his lack of manners and the general consensus among the town that he had gone off the deep end appeared to be spot on.

"I need to go, Uchiha-san." Hinata whispered moving to step out of the room only to have him block the door abruptly.

"No one knows where I am from here." he began like they were in the middle of a conversation. "No one knows and I like it that way. As far as they're concerned I have no friends no family no nothing. I want to keep it as it is."

Hinata frowned at him a little, her hands gripping her bag tightly. Finally feeling less than saintly she murmured. "Well isn't that the truth though, Uchiha-san?"

Surprised Sasuke felt his head cock to the right, studying her with more interest. She had aged a bit since his last memories of her. Tiny and mouse like Hinata Hyuuga had hid in baggy sweaters and long black bangs. Naruto had always sworn she was a sweet girl but Sasuke a) could not have cared less and b) never heard her say a single thing that wasn't a frightened squeak.

There were dark circles under her eyes that spoke of either not enough care for her health or lack of sleep or both. She was thin, thinner than he remembered her. Her cheek bones and jaw were sharp and gave her once plain face a sort of elegance that was more womanly than the teen girl he had in his memory. But he could tell, from a quick glance that she was tired. Her clothes did not fit quite right, her hands were dry and her nails on two fingers broken.

His eyes lingered on her hand and the glittering rock on her finger, frowning.

"Married." he stated, looking back up at her face to watch her eyes widen and her hand slammed down behind her back.

"I need to go."

"Who else is with you?" he countered, worried now. If she brought someone else with her from that goddamn town this was going to be extremely complicated.

Hinata stared at him, and for a moment something fierce reared its head inside of her mind. There was no way she was telling this brat about her children. About anything.

"No one you know."

A sigh escaped him and disgusted she pushed past him. Obviously he had not been bothering to read anything her husband had been mailing him for years. Irritated beyond belief she opened the sliding door with more force than necessary, surprised by the loud whack of the wood on wood.

Sasuke blinked at her back as she stepped out and then smirked.

"Please," she murmured as she moved to close the door behind herself. "Do n-not touch me again." And she slammed the door shut.

* * *

The day had not gone as she had planned- prayed- wished upon a star for. Instead she had begun with an argument with the co-worker she would be working the closest with. Albeit she didn't start it, but she had not exactly smoothed things over by the end of the day.

Stonily she had moved through the classes, answering him in one word answers if necessary, ignoring him if not.

It was so unlike her that the blush continued on her face and neck all day, brightening to a smoldering glow whenever he neared her person.

The students watched with quiet expressive eyes as their teachers awkwardly maneuvered around each other, like moons in orbit.

"Oka-san looks tired." Haku whispered from the table, peeking at her over his dinner plate quietly.

Dinner had been planned to be something familiar and delicious. Spaghetti and meat sauce,ceasar salad and garlic bread. Naruto's favorite thing she made besides ramen. It had taken her most of one day after arriving to find all the ingredients she needed for the meal bouncing from grocery store to grocery store until everything came together.

Instead of cooking however she had crawled home with her babies with her tail between her legs, wondering deeply about the choices she had recently made. Quietly she had thrown together two sandwiches and some apple slices on a plate and set them before her kids, switching the TV on before lowering her head onto the table tiredly.

"Oh." She murmured looking up at him with a smile. "Did you learn to say Mama in Japanese today at school?"

Haku nodded, picking up a slice of apple to bite into. "Daddy is Otou-san."

Sighing Hinata looked at the TV to avoid his gaze. "Yeah it is, baby."

Her eyes lingered sleepily on the tv for a long moment, sliding to her kitchen and to the fridge where a certain picture was pinned with a magnet.

Slowly she pushed herself up and pulled it off the mini freezer, staring at Naruto's grinning face and sliding her gaze to the irritated scowl on Sasuke Uchiha's.

"Haku..." Hinata began, watching her four year old look up at her curiously from his food. Beside him an exhausted Sora lay asleep on the floor, her food half finished.

"Why did you take this with you from the house?" She showed him the picture. "You're not in this picture with daddy."

Haku blinked at her and then at the picture, cocking his head. "But I like it."

"Right." Hinata mumbled, expecting nothing less then that from her son.

"And," He continued, making her pause. "He's like the sun." He reached for the picture and Hinata let him take it in his tiny hands staring at it with hungry eyes. "Daddy glows. "

Curiously Hinata looked at the photo again, studying Naruto's beaming face in the full blaze of the sunlight of summer.

"That man looks like he's cold." Haku added. "Daddy's warming him up."

Surprised again Hinata reached to take the picture back. "I think Daddy likes warming up people." he continued, taking a bite of his sandwich.

Slowly his mother turned back to the fridge, placing a magnet back on the picture gazing at it thoughtfully.

Ashamed suddenly of her behavior with Sasuke she sighed, lowering her face into her hands tiredly. Naruto had cared so much about him. How could she upon meeting him here be so rude? It wasn't like he was in contact with anyone at home, he seemed to be as desperate to not be found as she was.

 _I think Daddy likes warming up people._

Hinata peeked at the image of her beloved again through her fingers, erasing the tears from her face as they fell.

Daddy liked. He liked warming up people.

 _I'm so sorry, Naruto...I'll do better tomorrow._

* * *

 _ **A.N**_

 _ **I know exactly where the story is going which is actually very unlike me when writing. Usually it writes itself slowly and I tend to find out how things are going to play out maybe right before I write it.**_

 _ **This time I do in fact know what is happening from start to finish, the main thing that is bugging me about this is that I am as a result focusing a lot more on details that make the story more or less believeable.**_

 _ **Just so you all know I am aware that when it comes to how old they all are and how they got their jobs is a bit dicey right now. I'm trying to figure it out still, it's a detail and not important to the plot line except that it distracts if it's not resolved. I do have an idea of how it all happened and have done some research on what is believeable and what isn't. But again, I am not japanese so I will definitely get things wrong. Correct me as needed, please.**_

 _ **This is a work in progress, let me know what else you catch that is like "Eh?" and I'll jot it down for reworking it or editing or whenever i get it figured out.**_

 _ **leave me some love ne?**_

 _ **-inky**_


	3. Chapter 3

_**A.N**_

 _ **Is it weird that I am developing an imaginary relationship with the person (or people?) flaming my stories? I have it in my head that they go out of their way to read my work, get so riled up by it that they bash it, struggle morally about what they've done, and lamenting that they will never be able to be friends with me continue with their silliness like little boys on the playground pulling little girl's ponytails because they like them.;)**_

 _ **On other news, Paint With Words is giving me the metaphorical finger right now. I'm glaring at the last two chapters with increasing dislike. There is a part in the second to last chapter that I am literally wrestling with. The story says : This is how I be! and I'm like "Screw you, I made you, I say how you be!"**_

 _ **I am gonna lose, and when I lose I will grumpily enough post the chapters, end the story in a way I dislike and that will be that.**_

 _ **Please check out a revised chapter one of this story if you have a chance as I have taken out some minor irritations. Let me know if anything stands out, I hope it doesn't. I didn't change major aspects just edited briefly. I don't think I've ever done that, so already this thing is a different animal than anything else I've ever written, just logistically.**_

 _ **Much Love,**_

 _ **Inky**_

* * *

He had not slept well. The gin had done nothing to ease the tension and after doing a lot of marking on papers that were increasingly less interesting as the time passed he had paced through his apartment until finally standing outside on the porch glaring into the lights of the town in the darkness.

In the dim light of midnight the city looked like fireflies glowing. With the summer dying and fall rushing in to take it's place it was chilly but mostly just loud. Nothing ever seemed to shut up in this city, it didn't matter what time it was.

Back home- or back there in Konoha at eight o'clock silence abounded. Shops closed, jobs ended, the families were all tucked away for the night and only the oppressive loneliness had been his friend.

Naruto Uzumaki had tried, he knew, to keep that loneliness from eating him alive but besides visiting him almost constantly with food, and invites to parties or movies or something there was nothing he could do. Eventually Sasuke would have to be alone in the huge house his parents had bought. When the cook and the maid were finally off for the day he had wandered through the building counting rooms, and then doors, and then windows for lack of anything to do.

Reading the books in the library had distracted him just long enough to get through the funeral of his brother without being a complete drunk. But when he returned from the awful, gut wrenching day to the empty stillness of the house he had walked straight to the liquor cabinet in the sitting room and pulled out the first large bottle he could find.

He was only 15 at the time, had never really had more than a sip of wine at dinners and a beer with his brother after a particularly hard day working in the yard.

Whatever the bottle had been, it burned as it went down and the deliciousness of the pain had been his undoing. He woke up the next day with a headache but the knowledge that if only for half a dozen hours he had been completely dead and gone to the world. He had been like his family, and that feeling of commonality won out, every night that Naruto didn't show up.

Eventually he had begun to close the door on the blonde's face, choosing the bottle instead of his friend.

It got to the point where Sasuke didn't even bother to answer the door, listening to the banging and Naruto's angry calls for him through the wood as he sipped away on expensive rums, wondering how he had been reduced to this.

With his grades flopping and social workers eyeing him more and more he realized he would have to make a call about his life quickly. Another visit from a government representative to check out his living conditions was going to rip any sort of control from his hands. His brother's will had stated that Sasuke should live as he saw fit, that he was a mature and hard working adolescent, that he trusted him with the family fortune and was sure he would make good choices.

Well Itachi had been wrong about a lot of things.

Sitting back on his porch Sasuke stared out into the night, watching the gin blur the lights of the streets and houses below into little fuzzy pinpricks in the darkness.

Itachi had been wrong about pretty much everything.

Deciding it was time for bed he downed the rest of the cup, moving to go back inside. The tingle at his finger tips was taking more and more gin each night, and he briefly pondered if he would kill himself one day, just drinking bottle after bottle until there was no more blood in his veins, just the poison.

If it had not been for Hinata Hyuuga showing up out of thin air he wouldn't have been thinking about Konoha, or Naruto or anything related to Itachi. if it hadn't been for her he would have gone home and like usual studied something he enjoyed after marking, gone out to dinner, maybe to a bar with Kiba and finished his day with several Old Fashions* and a good book before bed.

But her sudden appearance in his life had made him gloomy the rest of the day, had made him wonder and worry about who else knew he was here. She was friends when they were young with that stupid blonde who wouldn't let him go. What if he called her to say hi, and casually her words stumbled out about the dick who had pulled her into a classroom on the first day and threatened her, essentially.

"Ugh." Sasuke grumbled, stopping in the kitchen to pour himself yet another cup of gin.

The shame of how he had reacted to her presence was threatening to crawl up his back and into his ear, whispering the dislike for himself that was hard to shake.

Determinedly he threw back the gin, quieting the voice with force.

* * *

Hinata stared up at the school building. She had found, among her clothes one skirt that actually fit from before having kids. She was surprised that she had it at all, seeing as she had never envisioned she would lose enough of her extra baby weight to fit back into it. Somehow though it had ended up in her suitcase and thankfully in her hands on her second attempt at a good start.

"Here we go." She whispered softly, smoothing out the skirt with her hand and tightening her hold on the files in the other.

Sasuke had been more than happy to drop tall piles of marking into her lap. His statement had been that looking over the coursework the kids had done in the last week would help her get a grip on where they were in their language acquisition.

Yeah sure, whatever.

 _No._

Sighing she paused at the front doors, pressing her fingers into her eyes to try to dispel the growing headache at the back of her optic nerve.

 _What would Naruto have done in this situation? What would he have said?_

"Hyuuga-san!" The voice was so sudden that she jumped, nearly dropping a handful of files before turning around. "Tsunade-san, Ohaiyo."

"Good morning." The blonde smiled tentatively at her. "You look nice." she waved a hand at her skirt and Hinata looked down, bursting into pink cheeked heat at her words. "Oh, uh... arigato."

"So that's what it is." Tsunade laughed lightly as she pushed open the school door. "You blush."

 _Great. Just, fantastic._ Hinata forced a smile. "I am still a little nervous about starting a new position. I ... I do not want to disappoint."

Tsunade walked beside her down the hall, studying her quietly. "I don't think you have to worry about that. You were top of your class at graduation and I have nothing but good things to hear from any of your teachers."

Hinata sighed, knowing that Professor Kurenai would have ranted a little too aggressively about her good qualities. Everyone who knew her had wanted her to do well. Taking the last exams for her studies a month after Naruto's passing had seemed like she was taking a step in the right direction, and when she had asked people she knew to be her references for jobs they had been delighted.

They probably would have been less so if they had known what the plan had been in her head. Get certified, get a job, get the hell out.

"I do want to talk to you about Uchiha-san though." Tsunade continued, and watched with mild panic as Hinata's face grew steadily warmer.

"Ah, well... I yes... he was rather..." she began and Tsunade raised a hand to stop her. "Oh don't worry about explaining anything to me, I know that boy better than you realize. Don't let him bully you okay? And don't call him Sasuke-kun even if he asked you to. You look like a smart girl." Her eyes flickered to Hinata's hand where her wedding ring glimmered softly.

Hinata felt her face drain of color in realization. "Oh... Tsunade-san. I can't express how much I did not like what happened yesterday- Uchiha-san he... I don't know why I called him Sasuke-kun, I never have, I..." she stopped, watching the confusion flitting over her principals face. Taking a deep breath she raised her hand, making her ring finger flutter.

"I...I am widowed." she finally allowed herself to say, looking back down at her palms and studying the glittering diamond there tiredly. "I suppose I should... perhaps take this off to avoid any more confusion, but I... I just cannot."

Tsunade's eyes were huge, staring at her in surprise. "Oh, Hyuuga-san I am so very sorry, I was concerned not because of you but because Uchiha-san can sometimes be... well we've been having some... "

"Having some what, exactly?"

The women turned, one brightening into a soft pink sheen the other glowering with dislike.

"Good morning, Uchiha-san."

"Principal Tsunade." He replied lazily, eyes flickering from her face to the avoiding gray eyes of the Hyuuga next to her.

"What have we been having?"

"Issues." Tsunade supplied curtly. "We have been having some issues with you and some students and Hyuuga-san is a position to alleviate some of the pressure from you as a buffer. Isn't that right, Hyuuga-san?"

Hinata looked at the floor blearily.

The first class had not even started, she had not even made it upstairs to the second floor. And already this.

"Of course, Tsunade-san."

"There, so use the tools available to you, Uchiha-san. I expect the reports of students being inappropriate to lower drastically in the coming weeks." And off she went with a quick squeeze to Hinata's shoulder. "Have a good day!"

"Arigato." Hinata mumbled without much conviction, turning towards the stairs slowly, shoulders slumped.

Sasuke followed just as slowly, studying her with a less than friendly air.

"What we discussed yesterday..." he began watching her pause on the middle landing, closing her eyes.

"What about it, Uchiha-san?"

"I have worked hard to break ties with that town. I would appreciate some discretion when discussing anything with your friends or family- there's people that may be looking for me."

"No," Hinata opened her eyes to look at him finally, irritation had bloomed on her face and he pondered at it, not particularly phased although surprised. "No one is looking."

Sasuke frowned then. "You wouldn't know."

Biting her cheek Hinata let out a long sigh. "I am not particularly interested in being found either. You don't have to worry about me telling anyone where you are." she began to slow steady climb back up the stairs. "I have no one from home to call."

The Uchiha let out a scoff. "You expect me to believe that? You're a Hyuuga, there's more of you in Konoha than-"

"Hyuuga is my maiden name." Hinata muttered, starting up the stairs again to cut him off. "I only switched back to it because..." drifting off she stopped seeing the second floor flooded with students chatting amiably to each other, their loud banter and giggles making her sigh with tiredness.

Sasuke followed behind her with his frown becoming more and more permanent.

"So long as there's no news about my location I don't care."

Finally exhausted by his pestering Hinata turned to look at him, jaw tight. "No one knows where I am either, except for you. There's no need for you to worry."

Before he could absorb what she said she was gone, walking down the hall with her head down, making students glance curiously at her as she passed by.

 _Why the hell would a Hyuuga not be in touch with her family?_

Sasuke watched her go, unmoving. Something didn't feel right.

* * *

"So the new girl." Kiba began, munching on his bento box across the desk from Sasuke.

The Uchiha felt a flash of headache at the mention of that one particular subject. "I don't really want to talk about it- her, I mean." He muttered.

Kiba blinked peering at him over the top of his computer screen. "Aw man, is she fangirling all over you already? It's only the first week!"

Sasuke looked up then, wondering how to proceed. It would have been the usual thing to happen, given his history. He had even had a couple of the male Assistant Teachers blushing, which was partly why he had been so rude to them in particular. He didn't need rumors starting about his orientation, a no was a no was a no.

This particular assistant blushed plenty, but he knew in his bones it had nothing to do with him, and it was certainly not fangirling.

"No, actually." he admitted, realizing his surprise.

Kiba chewed slowly at him for a moment, eyes unmoving from his face. "Come again?"

"She's not interested."

"She's a lesbian?"

Sasuke winced at him. "How did you end up at _that_ conclusion?"

"I saw her." Kiba pointed at him with his chopsticks, flinging a piece of rice onto Sasuke's marking. "She's cute, and she's young and she's female so if she's not attracted to you she's a lesbian."

"Married, actually." Sasuke flicked the rice back at Kiba's face expertly with two fingers. "I don't want to talk about it."

"Is your ego bruised?" Kiba grinned at him for a moment. "This must be a new field for you."

"No." Sasuke shook his head. "Kind of relieved actually."

"Well, if she's not a lesbian maybe I'll-"

"She's married," Sasuke stressed, making Kiba's face slump. "Damn."

"You need to go on a dating site, or something." Sasuke continued, moving back to his marking with an expression of deep distaste. "I can't have another conversation about you wanting a girlfriend. Really."

"Listen, at least I know I need a girlfriend, you and your delusions of grandeur about being a lone wolf-"Kiba began and then paused suddenly, looking up in time to see Hinata enter the teachers lounge quietly.

"Incoming." He muttered and Sasuke looked up too, restraining himself from wincing as she came towards him.

"Uchiha-san, these are the reports from the kids in class 2-a." She placed them on the desk lightly, her eyes never raising to meet his own.

"These are for 2-c, and 2-b."

"Hn." Sasuke replied turning back to his marking without comment. Hinata paused for a moment as if waiting for him to say something and then finally allowing herself a slightly exasperated sigh. "Would you like me to take anything home to mark? I will not be coming in tomorrow so it would need to be something that wasn't required to be handed back to them right away."

Kiba munched on his lunch quietly, eyes flicking back and forth between the two with fixed interest.

"Why are you not here tomorrow?" Sasuke turned to her with a frown of irritation, looking up at her from his position with nearly tangible dislike.

Hinata looked back down at him and held his gaze for only a moment before surrendering that fight.

"I am only working 30 hour weeks. I am not full time."

"Tsunade-san never mentioned."

Hinata paused, straightening out her skirt with one hand. "The marking?"

"No I don't have anything for you." He turned away with obvious irritation. "If I needed a part time teaching assistant I would have requested one."

A long pregnant pause followed and heat rose to her face slowly, darkening her pale cheeks.

"I...I hear that you had a full time assistant but they quit... Repeatedly."

Her reply made Kiba's eyes widen. The voice had been soft, the words polite, but her eyes were now trained once more on Sasuke's face, her jaw clenched. She was blushing, a brilliant crimson on her cheeks making her look less threatening. To her utter irritation Sasuke actually smirked, leaning back against his chair and eyeing her with obvious interest.

"...you do look kind of cute when you're mad, Hyuuga-san."

A flash of surprise and then fury washed over Hinata's face and abruptly she turned, heading out the door with quick clicking steps of her heels.

"It was a pleasure to meet you!" Kiba shouted after her, half standing up in his chair. She didn't look back.

"Wow!" He gasped, turning to Sasuke who was no longer smirking but scowling, animosity rolling off of him in waves. "She's something."

"Don't." Sasuke growled, slamming the reports he should have given her to take home into piles a little more aggressively than he needed to.

"I don't think I've ever seen someone blush at you because of how mad they were before." Kiba continued undeterred. "It's like a whole new world."

"Kiba."

"The universe has shifted on it's axels."

"Inuzuka."

The young man glanced at him then, smirking. "So, you can't have students, right, because of the whole immoral thing. But what about married women?"

Nose flaring Sasuke stood, gathering the piles of work he did not have time to mark in his hands. "I hope you straighten out your thinking right now so when I come back you don't have to die." He glared, storming out the door.

Kiba sat back down on his chair, hands laced behind his head. "Whatever you say, Uchiha-san, whatever you say."

Down the hall Sasuke could see Hinata's form heading for the stairs. Taking them two at a time she was practically running out of the building.

There was no rum around and no gin. He might be a drinker at home but at work he couldn't afford the chance of being caught and although it sometimes made the days feel like slow painful torture he was mostly sober.

And as a result there was nothing to stop the nasty little voices growling in his head.

 _Why is she so incredibly annoying?_

"I heard you had a full time assistant and they quit, repeatedly."

 _Since when is she suddenly all spunky. She would have died if she so much as looked at Naruto before._

Jaw firm he stumbled down the stairs after her, glad that most of the students were in their classes and there were less witnesses to him almost running down the halls.

"Hyuuga." he called, watching her starting at the sound of her name with her hand on the door of the school's front doors. A frown was firmly planted between her brows and clenching her purse tightly she waited.

"I do need you to mark some things." he began, all business stopping abruptly when she let go of the door and walked up to him, her jaw clenched so tight he could see the muscles of her face tightening.

"I don't understand it. I don't understand why he was always so determined for you to come back."

Sasuke paused, trying to catch up. "Did I miss a part of a conversation or-?"

"Naruto always saw the best in everyone and I always believed him to be right but here you are and I cannot believe it. I cannot believe that he would think you were worth fighting for."

His heart began to pound, a steady but increasingly painful rhythm in his chest at her words. His eyes flickered over the school foyer, looking for witnesses to the conversation.

"You need to be quiet."

"Endless letters he sent you, endless. It used to drive me nuts how sad he would get every single time he wrote one of those to you."

Her face was red, more than red, he was worried for a moment that she was going to have blood vessels pop and they would end up needing assistance from the nurse which would require an explanation and there was nothing that was happening right now that he wanted to explain to anyone.

"How do you know about the-" he started, surprised. Her eyes were glistening and he realized abruptly and too late that she was going to cry.

 _Oh hell no._

Grabbing her arm he dragged her outside, pulling her despite her hissing dislike to the side of the building into the shadows.

"So you are in touch with that stupid dobe." he growled as she ripped her arm from his grip angrily. Hinata's chest heaved with great big gulps of air, the tears streaming down her face in a torrent that he felt was a little exaggerated for the situation. The Hyuuga had always been a little unstable.

"What are you talking about?" She whispered, shaking her head.

"You said you didn't have anyone to tell about me being here, and yet Naruto told you about those letters so-"

"Told me?" she looked incredulous. "I'm his wife, I watched him write them."

Sasuke stopped, his eyes actually widening. Not a lot of things got his eyebrows to go up but that statement did.

"You said I didn't know your husband."

Hinata was panting now, her chest rising and falling in fast angry bursts. "I did not say that."

"I asked you-"

"Naruto is dead."

What was it that Kiba had said...?

 _The universe has shifted on it's_ _axles_.

The wind was whispering through the coolness of the fall air as she said those words, ripping at the Japanese maple tree that stood shivering in the cold. The red leafs danced in it's grip as they fell to the earth. Something in his stomach clenched and unclenched so hard he was worried there was an actual hole in his torso and one hand went to his stomach to confirm he was still okay.

"What?"

"I'm his widow." she was sobbing now, her hand raised up and she wiggled her wedding ring in the afternoon light, making it sparkle. "He died three months ago."

The silence stretched out between them like a quickly widening void, threatening to eat them both. His brain had hit a brick wall and was having a hard time picking itself back up.

"Naruto isn't dead." he shook his head elegantly from side to side and Hinata's eyes hardened through her tears, her fists clenching at her sides. "I came all this way around the world to avoid talking about him." she let out a humorless little laugh followed by a sob.

Sasuke had stopped listening, in his mind he retraced the last three months, running over in his head if he had received any letters. There was a pile so big at his apartment entrance he had not even noticed. His eyes flickered to her again, studying her tired face, her tears stained cheeks.

"How... how did he-?"

Feeling more and more raw than she had in several weeks Hinata raised her chin at him with dislike. "L-l-like you care."

For a moment he nearly slapped her, grabbed her and shook her hard, his fingers twitched beside him but he stayed still, eyes trained on her face until she looked away, wiping the tears from her cheeks with the back of her hand.

"He and my cousin were out for the night, just for a movie. But there was a rainstorm on the flats and they were heading back to get me and the..." she paused, frowning. "To get me."

Her words were carefully picked and Sasuke didn't interrupt. Inside him a familiar empty feeling was beginning to take hold. It had faded and become manageable before but now it almost giggled with glee as it began to devour him again.

"The bridge over the river was flooded over, but Neji was so panicked to get to me that he tried to drive through it."

Sasuke could see the bridge in his mind, the old idealistic white painted wood, the rusted metal. It was too low for how high the river could get now. He had thought that when he lived there over five years ago. He had been right.

"The car went in the river." he whispered, watching Hinata's eyes finally come back to his, softening a little as she spoke.

"Neji couldn't get his seat belt undone."

Sasuke closed his eyes against her expression, knowing how the rest of the story went.

"Naruto dove in after him. He got him loose, but there was debris in the water. They told me he was probably hit by something on the head. There were...wounds."

Voice hoarse he tried to speak and found he couldn't. The surprise was evident on both their faces and for a moment her pale eyes seemed to search his with something other than animosity in them.

"I'm sorry."

It was such a hollow word, like dumping a penny into a beggars hand.

"...a...arigato." The fire had gone out, she hung her head and hid her face in the long bangs and locks of ebony black hair. He studied her suddenly like a new thing. Everything was starting to piece together in his mind.

"Where did you leave the marking?" the question was so surprising that he had trouble following for a moment and remembering he had dumped it in the foyer at the sight of her tears he blinked. "It's... by the entrance."

"I'll have it back finished by Thursday." she murmured, walking back towards the school. For a second Sasuke went to reach for her to stop her and froze, withdrawing his hand before he could commit.

He didn't even say goodbye before turning around and heading back to his work, breathing in and out slowly to calm the sick feeling in his gut and the stinging in his eyes.

There was nothing else he could possibly say.

* * *

Kiba had asked him several times if he was okay and with jaw set Sasuke had replied gruffly, unsure even of what he had said. Eventually his friend had stopped asking, but his worried expression didn't leave his face whenever he looked at him.

Tsunade had even commented on his mood briefly, and being a less than cheerful person on a regular basis he wondered at how heavily he was telegraphing what was happening inside his chest. Although, truth be told all he could think about besides a car sinking beneath the rushing current of his hometown river was a bottle of vodka sitting in his freezer at home.

When he finally did get home, after untangling himself from the work that beckoned at his desk he didn't bother to take his shoes off but walked towards the kitchen dumping his briefcase and folders onto the counter as he went.

Loosening his tie he pulled out the vodka from the freezer popped the lid off aggressively and took one long painful swallow.

"Fuck." he whispered, wincing as he pulled back. Slowly he headed back down the hall, bottle in hand, kicking his shoes off as he went before settling himself against his front door, grabbing at a thick pile of letters that sat unopened on the little table beside the entrance. Gingerly he slid down the length of the wood and sat on his entrance mat, taking another swig of vodka before dumping the letters into his lap.

The slow meticulous work of sorting the letters by date began, straining his eyes in the half dark of his entryway he eyed the postage stamps for clues, arranging the letters on the floor in front of him carefully.

Naruto's crazy haphazard script with his name on the middle of the envelope covered all of the differing hues of white, yellowing as time began to show which were older.

"...fifty, fifty one, fifty two..." he mumbled, tossing the letters into their respective piles as the dates became more and more clear. "...fifty nine, sixty..."

He had purposefully ignored them when they showed, piling high on the shelf in his entry. Each time they came he had tossed them on the pile, as though they were junk mail although every time he tossed his junk mail the letters had remained.

"Sixty-seven." he whispered, coming to the end.

If he wrote once a month that meant there were five and a half years of letters on his entryway floor.

He took another sip of vodka, gripping the oldest of the bunch in his hand and contemplating how much fire they would give off if he burned them all.

Angrily he ripped open the paper, wondering if there was another bottle of vodka somewhere in the house.

"You stupid dobe."

* * *

The call in the morning had been unexpected. No one had her number and so scrambling off the bed she tripped over the discarded clothes on the floor and nearly smashed into the door frame.

"Oww..." She whispered, trying not to wake her sleeping babies in her bed again. Huffing lightly to get rid of the pain of her stubbed toe she scrambled through her apartment and grabbed her phone plugged in at the counter in the kitchen.

"Hello?" Instantly she winced. What was the proper way to say hello on the phone in Japanese again? It wasn't hello she knew that.

"Hyuuga-san, hello sorry to call you so early." Tsunade's voice called through the phone. "I was just wondering if there's any way you could come in, I realize it's your day off but..." and she sighed deeply, irritation coming through the speaker with each huff of air. "Uchiha-san has decided to call in sick today and I am unable to find another replacement for him. Inuzuka-san is already teaching several of his classes but cannot take the last three in the afternoon."

Hinata paused, assessing the information at lightening speed. Her eyes flickered to her sleeping babies in her room, shifting in their slumber and wincing at the thought of taking them to daycare on a day they were expecting to stay with her.

But she needed this job, just like she needed this whole move to work.

"Oh... uh...If it's just a couple of classes in the afternoon I think I can probably-"

"Excellent! Oh wonderful, thank you very much, Hyuuga-san. I haven't ever had to replace Uchiha-san he's never called in sick before!"

Hinata blinked, rubbing her face with one hand. "Oh...uh, that is odd then."

"Hai, I hope he's not really sick otherwise I don't know what I will do tomorrow, but alas, we will just make do with today. Thank you again, Hyuuga-san. i will see you in the afternoon."

"Hai, Tsunade-san, good bye."

A tiny hand tugged at her skirt gently making Hinata look down. Sora's big eyes looked up at her, blazing in their blue intensity.

"Mama, want food."

"Yes, darling." Hinata nodded, tucking the bit about Sasuke away in her mind to think about later. It was hard to ever focus on anything other than those brilliant blue eyes when they were fixed on her.

* * *

 _...I wish you were here. I get so confused when Hinata-chan looks at me and can't even talk. I am absolutely sure she likes me as I think her sister blurted it out but when I tried to talk to her about it she actually fainted._

 _Don't be a dick and pretend that it's funny okay it wasn't. I was terrified that I had killed her but thankfully the paramedics said she was fine._

 _I sometimes wonder if you have found someone yourself. You never mentioned anyone before and sometimes I seriously wonder about your orientation but honestly if you did find someone I hope you're happy. I hope you tell me so I can congratulate you and warn the poor girl to get the hell away from you before she gets in too deep._

 _Love you man,_

 _Naruto_

Sasuke tossed the letter back onto the floor of his bedroom, looking up into the shifting light of the morning with hate. The brightness of the light was shooting pain into his eyes and for a moment he actually swore he would not drink ever again. Everything hurt, from the pounding of his optic nerve to the pulsing beat of his blood passing through his head and neck.

Another buzzing sound entered the stillness of his bare bedroom and as he glanced to the right he felt more agony shoot through his body, all of the mushy brain in his head seemed to slide inside his cranium as he shifted and looked at the offending phone buzzing on the pillow beside him.

Kiba again, his texts getting more and more concerned with each progressive message.

 _Are you okay, Tsunade said you called in sick. Are you even able to get sick? I thought you were an android or something_

 _Dude, are you in a hospital or just home?_

 _Did you get in an accident? You didn't say you were not feeling well yesterday._

 _If you don't answer me by the time I'm off work I'm coming over, I'll look up your address on your record of employment in the office, I swear_

 _Uchiha, you better be bleeding out in your apartment you hear me, son of a bitch._

Curiously Sasuke studied the last message, feeling dimly as though through a fog the worry from his only friend.

"I guess you do care about me, you weirdo." he sighed, letting his arm drop across his face tiredly to block out the light.

Slowly he raised another letter from beside him on the bed to stare at it's scribbled face thoughtfully. Words swam in the haze of the yellowing paper. He had barely got through a years worth of the letters, each one had mundane aspects in it peppered sometimes with information he had not thought Naruto would care to share with someone he had not seen in so long.

 _...pretty sure I'm going to marry this girl. I want you here for the wedding so badly but I don't even know if you're getting these letters. If you are seriously consider coming back for this. I haven't been this happy since before you left..._

Dropping the page he picked up another random crinkly bit of memory, gazing at it past the curve of his forearm on his face.

 _...Had to ask Neji to be my best man. I hope that haunts you for the rest of your life you selfish prick. Hinata was commenting to me that she gets upset when I write these letters, I tried to explain that I had to but I couldn't figure out why. You're likely not getting them but I just hope if you ever do find out about them that you know I miss you every day._

 _Not to sound too bromantic, but the only thing I am missing right now is having you around buddy. What if Hinata and I start having kids? How the hell are they supposed to be comfortable with their godfather if you're never here?_

 _Okay I may be jumping the gun on that one. Hinata would likely be a little uncomfortable letting you have those kinds of rights when she doesn't really know you._

 _Which, again is why you should at least come visit sometime. We have a spare room, in our tiny fixer upper of a house. And I don't know shit about what I'm doing fixing it. You were always the one with the tools and the know how..._

Sighing Sasuke let the page float down onto his chest, his hand raised up towards the ceiling, feeling each beat of his heart hammering away inside him like an endless metronome.

It would have been better for the world if the one who died had been him.

* * *

 _ **A.N**_

 _ **I am sorry if the rhythm of this thing is kind of slow compared to my other works. I do think it's going to drag a little in comparison. I'm not usually this kind of writer. My interest has always been on more action filled stuff. Fight scenes in particular are just so much fun to write.**_

 _ **But there's stuff in here that means a lot to me, and for whatever reason it needs to come out.**_

 _ **leave me some love, ne?**_

 _ **-inky**_


	4. Chapter 4

_**A.N**_

 _ **This Chapter was written on the fly, with different things taking my attention away from it. I have edited it but honestly I have been so tired. This last week alone I think I have had about three to four hours of sleep a night. The story is taking on a life of it's own in a way it hasn't for me in a long time. I keep trying to switch to one of my other fics for the sake of balance but the words of the others are stuck and this one keeps shouting. For fear of losing the voice when it's at it's strongest I keep getting up in the middle of the night and writing when I can.**_

 _ **Despite the couple attempts at editing I'm not gonna lie I am sure there are mistakes, my zombie brain couldn't find them but when you do just jot me a note to point it out to me no? I'll be reediting as soon as I have had a long enough sleep.**_

 _ **Also, in a previous chapter I mentioned Sasuke drinking and Old Fashioned which I realize may not have been clear. For those of you who don't know it's a cocktail, its on the stronger side and you have to really know how to hold your liquor to have more than a couple without it giving you hell the next day.**_

 _ **Much love,**_

 _ **Inky**_

* * *

Hinata ran. She wasn't supposed to run, that was against the rules and trying to not be too loud in her heels she ignored the tiny hall monitor inside of herself and ran, struggling to stop as she approached the door to the class.

Pausing for a moment to rearrange her blouse, hair and grip on her files more firmly she took a deep breath, preparing for battle. And she opened the door.

Out the window she could see the wind snapping the branches of the skeletal fall trees. It was going to be a frigid day, her eyes lingered there for only a moment, noting with relief that whatever clouds had been heading their way were being blown quickly by. There would be no rain in the afternoon. Thankfully the class was in a free work period and students were meandering all over the class chatting, laughing. A handful of them by the door turned briefly to eye her as she came in but the disruption was minimal.

At the desk at the front Sasuke turned his eyes to her, ebony meeting gray with clear dislike.

Swallowing painfully Hinata walked over, lowering the marking she was supposed to have done already to the desk in front of him. "I have half of this class done." she began by way of hello, watching out of the corner of her eye as he studied her with absolutely no sense of embarrassment.

"You're late again."

"I apologize, I will skip lunch to finish the marking by the end of the day."

"I need you here on time."

They were whispering, since the class full of students was all trying not too look to obvious as they watched.

"I will be more punctual in the future." Hinata replied softly, splitting the files in her hands and handing him the marked ones. Sasuke stared at her for a moment before accepting them. "Will that be all? I am required in Inuzuka-san's class momentarily."

Irritated Sasuke stood, putting a hand to her elbow gently to draw her in, his cheek coming in line with her own.

"If working here is so difficult that you can't get here on time, perhaps you should do us both a favor and reconsider. I hear English tutoring has much more flexible hours and maybe would be more up your alley."

Hinata let her eyes slide to the students in the class, catching a pair of jade green eyes fixed on her and Sasuke with the same precision and force of a missile. Feeling her cheeks flare with heat she pulled back a little and found his gentle grip on her elbow became more firm.

Pulling a little roughly away from him Hinata fixed him with a dark look despite her blushing face. "May I speak with you in the hallway, Uchiha-san?"

Before he could reply she was heading out the door, taking slow measured steps, opening sliding the door carefully so as to not slam it with her irritation.

Frowning Sasuke stepped out after her, closing the door with the sharp smack of frustration she had been trying to avoid.

"You cannot have these discussions with me in a classroom." Hinata forced her stutter down, her anger lending her tongue a reprieve. "I am their sensei, they cannot see you treating me like this."

"I need you on time, they need to see a sensei show up like a responsible adult when they are supposed to."

Eyes tightening into slits Hinata bit her lip hard, and for a moment he felt his eyes drawn to the soft pink of the skin there.

"I have been covering a lot of your classes, Uchiha-san. I am not a full time teacher for a reason, it has been difficult, perhaps if I wasn't carrying so much of your work load right now I would not be struggling so much to keep up."

Sasuke ripped his eyes from her mouth, glaring into her pale gaze with distaste. Sure, he had been calling in a lot lately, at least once a week since the term began. But he was well aware whose fault that was. Drinking had suddenly taken a new role in his life, it was the thing he ate for dinner, it was his midnight snack and sometimes just to stave off the feeling that the letters in his apartment were consuming him it was his breakfast. He couldn't come in on those days, it just wasn't possible.

But he had not been aware they had been giving all his missed classes to her.

"If you think I owe you a favor you're mistaken."

"If you stop speaking to me unless you absolutely have to I think I may call it even." the spiteful little sentence escaped her before she had thought it through and as it left her mouth she sighed, pressing a hand to her forehead to hide her face from him.

Why was he so capable of drawing out the worst in her? Every single day.

"That must have felt good to say." Sasuke scoffed. "How long have you been holding back that little gem?"

Feeling a growl building in her throat Hinata lowered her hands, clenching them hard in front of her. "I need this job, I cannot move again." Images of Haku's tantrum at daycare flashed through her eyes, the desperation in his gaze had made her cry, his death grip on her hands had made her sob. The teachers were adamant that consistency was key, they would get past this.

She couldn't move them again, she couldn't uproot and restart when they had barely given this a chance. Fixing her eyes once more on Sasuke's face she clenched her jaw.

"I just figured you would have an easier time of it in a job where the expectations were not so high." He threw back. "If doing a real teachers job for one day a week gives you leave to show up late maybe you're not a real teacher."

With a sharp intake of breath, Hinata stepped up into his personal space, her face inches from his own as she glared straight into him. Indirectly without even knowing it he was putting her babies at risk. Thoughts of quitting were rolling through her head every day and it always had to do with him, his vicious comments and his blase irritable expression. Her children needed her to have this job, and she'd be damned if some cocky depressed baka was going to make her rip them from their new home just as they settled. No way.

" _You_ obviously have a hard time with my presence, Uchiha-san. But I need this job, so if _you_ want to get away from me, then I suggest _you_ quit."

Trembling and extremely pink in the face she turned, heading down the hall to Kiba's class, missing the look of surprise as he tried to slow the staccato beat of his heart with deep breaths, noting that just like Naruto had said in his last letter...she really did smell like lavender.

* * *

 _The knock on the door had sounded very far away. It started out so polite, just a little tap tap tap on the wood, and then Sasuke realized it had increased from soft and concerned to-_

 _"You arrogant, self centered, lonely bastard! Open the door!" Kiba's voice rang through his home for the first time and in his current state Sasuke wondered if he would be able to get to the door just to get him to stop making such a racket._

 _Breathing deep he had gathered all of his strength and moved forward, struggling with each step, feeling the smack of a wall on his shoulder as he bounced from surface to surface down the hall, tripping on the mountain of letters in the way._

 _Slowly he struggled with the lock, and then pulled the door open, pushing the letters aside, the tide of memories and hurts whispering as they brushed against each other._

 _"Good thing you opened the door." Kiba grinned at him, leaning against the door frame. "I was going to start yelling loudly about how I loved you, and that would have reduced your chances of getting laid by a hot neighbor down to zero."_

 _"Your voice is very irritating." Sasuke replied, noting that his own voice wasn't exactly his cup of tea at the moment either. "Go away."_

 _"Shut up." Kiba grumbled, pushing past him, tripping over the stacks of letters on the floor. "What the hell?"_

 _Unsure of how to manhandle Kiba out of his apartment in his migraine induced state Sasuke sighed and started back to his room pondering if he was going to need to throw up again._

 _"What is all this?" Kiba shouted after him, making Sasuke wince._

 _"Garbage." He replied quietly, reaching his bathroom just in time to puke into the toilet._

 _Kiba was quiet for a moment, and after heaving for a bit Sasuke could hear the sound of paper being handled._

 _"These are all addressed to you... Naruto Uzumaki?"_

 _A very pregnant pause followed. "You ARE gay!"_

 _"Inuzuka, you have never been so close to dying as you are right now, tread carefully." Heaving had cleared his head momentarily even if the pain in his head and neck had intensified with the struggle. Slowly he walked back into the hall, stumbling over empty bottles of liquor on the floor._

 _Kiba's face had changed, his hands holding a letter open, startled._

 _"You have a friend." He whispered, as if it was a new fantastical revelation. Sasuke didn't reply, crawling into bed without comment and turning off the blazing shards of light coming from the light bulb._

 _Walking slowly, taking note of the letters that covered like ugly square petals all of the hall floor and into Sasuke's room he stopped, watching his friend cocooning into his blankets._

 _"This letter is from nearly five years ago, Uchiha." He said more softly, picking up a half empty vodka bottle by his door and staring at it. "Who is this guy?"_

 _"He's an idiot."_

 _"Is this why you've been away from work the last two days?"_

 _Sasuke paused beneath the covers, staring into the dark in surprise. Yes, it was. These stupid letters, and that stupid woman with her stupid news._

 _"No." He lied. "I have the flu."_

 _"You know I may not have your IQ." Kiba called as he dumped three half empty bottles into his sink. "But I'm not blind. What you have is the nastiest hangover I've ever seen."_

 _"Thank you, doctor Inuzuka. Now go away."_

 _"Sasuke."_

 _Surprised by the sound of his name on Kiba's lips he frowned. "Don't call me that."_

 _"You need to tell me what happened. I'm looking at dialing an insane asylum at this point." Kiba looked down at the chicken scratch across the letter's face in his hand. Or maybe not an asylum but at least rehab._

 _"He's from...we grew up together." Sasuke finally conceded, wondering why he was allowing the words to come out of his mouth. "In the same tiny bit of shit for a town."_

 _"Oh." Kiba supplied, surprised. He had thought that Sasuke had always lived in their city and was staring at the letter again with more interest._

 _"He died. I just found out."_

 _Slowly the pieces of the puzzle were coming together and Kiba blinked, looking around at the chaos in the house that appeared to usually be quite tidy. There were no decorations on the walls or pictures in frames but there were no dishes in the sink either, and the books were all neatly stacked in shelves, no laundry or garbage besides the liquor bottles on the ground anywhere._

 _This was mourning, this was grief._

 _"He sent you all these letters?"_

 _"I never opened one." Sasuke whispered. "Not until after I found out."_

 _Letting his shoulders droop a little Kiba sighed, starting the work of gathering up the discarded piles slowly. "You can't do that, Uchiha. You can't just sit here and read them all at once like that. I'd be drinking myself into the hospital too."_

 _Irritated by being told off Sasuke sat up, frowning at the young man with venom. "You don't know anything about this."_

 _"Don't be daft, everyone's got losses. It's not like you're the only person in my life, baka." he grumbled, straightening the letters in his grip without looking at him._

 _Pausing to absorb what he just said Sasuke stared. "What?"_

 _"My best friend, Shino. Unlike you I was good to him." Kiba grinned without humor at Sasuke. "I had known him since we were five. We didn't last long though, he was gone by the time we turned 12."_

 _Caught for once in their relationship without words Sasuke continued to stare, startled._

 _"Cancer of some sort. He used to laugh about it, at the hospital. He used to say he felt like he was full of bugs." His voice had begun to get soft and Sasuke swallowed, hearing something familiar in his tone._

 _"Torturing yourself like this, if you have to do it, take it slow." he shrugged, dumping a pile of the letters into an empty gin box by Sasuke's bathroom door. "Do one a day. You'll probably drink yourself stupid just on that."_

 _Sasuke kept looking at him, studying him like he was a new undiscovered thing._

 _"_ Anyway _." he laughed awkwardly at the silence. "I think you need to sober up so I'm going to order something greasy. Go have a shower or something, you stink."_

 _As Kiba pulled the phone out of his pocket to dial for take out Sasuke stepped into the hall, face lowered away from him._

 _"A...arigato, Kiba."_

 _"Get away from me." Kiba wrinkled his nose. "You smell worse than a bar bathroom."_

 _Smirking for the first time in two days Sasuke turned away and went to do as he was told._

Staring at the letter of the day in the teachers lounge Sasuke sighed. Kiba had unceremoniously taken the letters and sorted them for him while they ate, stacking them by date into the empty gin box and throwing it in his bedroom closet with an air of finality.

 _"These are for the next two weeks. One a day, until they're done."_

Idly he let the envelope tap on the desk over and over, staring at the name on the corner with a twist of his intestines within him.

"Stupid, stupid dobe."

Kiba had been right. Reading one a day had wrecked him in a way he had not anticipated. The thought of opening another letter was only tempting to him when he was sober enough to recognize his masochism, and so he drank, knowing that if he read more than one he probably would be drinking himself right to the grave.

The room was empty and quiet for the first time in a while. All of the other staff members were busy. Upstairs he knew Hinata was sitting in on Kiba's class, getting up to speed on the student's and their progression.

Somehow it felt wrong to be opening a letter written by her husband while she was in the building, but he was going to have to stay very late, and if he drank when he read this one he was going to end up calling in sick again.

And clearly that wasn't okay to do anymore since Hinata made it so clear it was a problem. He didn't like owing people anything and at this point he had grudgingly admitted to himself that he would have been exacting some sort of favor back from her if the roles were reversed.

"Ugh." he sighed, tearing the envelope, almost to spite her although he knew she had no idea. Grumpily he flipped the pages open on his desk and began stared at them for a second, contemplating.

"Okay, Naruto...what now?"

 _Sasuke-teme,_

 _It's Christmas. You know how it snows here at Christmas, and honestly I don't know how you could miss it. I sometimes think about the epic snowball fights that we had as kids and I wish I knew where you were so we could chat about it. I was telling Hinata about it today and I had her giggling._

 _Remember that time that you hit me so hard with the snowball that you knocked me out? You were always a son of a bitch in a fight. I was explaining to Hinata that we could communicate just by looking at each other and she didn't seem to understand. I wish so much that she had had a friend like I did. You know how Konoha shit goes down. She didn't fit the mold so she never really made a lot of good friendships._

 _I want you to meet her, really meet her. I think she would probably be terrified of you at first because let's be honest you're kind of a dick sometimes- it's that socially awkward thing you have going on. If you were ugly I think people would find it less charming, so take it under advisement that if you ever get into a nasty disfiguring accident you should probably become the nicest person in the planet. Just saying._

 _I don't know why it bothers me that she hasn't met you. I actually feel it whenever we have friends over, which happens a lot around the holidays. I look around and sometimes realize I'm looking for you in the crowd at my house._

 _Hinata is becoming such a huge aspect of who I am and I guess I'm scared that when you come back I won't be like the old me and you won't be okay with it._

 _There's something about her that softens things, and I wonder if maybe she would have had the same effect on you if you were here. Not that I needed softening, I'm perfect, as you well know._

 _But I've noticed lately that her douchebag of a cousin and even her irritating sister have kind of got this thing where when they're around Hinata they become less of a waste of space and even pleasant to be around._

 _Maybe she would make you tolerable?_

 _I don't know how to express to you how she's affected me. It's not something that is easily put into words. I'm home right now and the house just feels mine and yet I would never have been able to do what she did with it. She's painted and sanded and I had no idea she knew how to fix things but she does. The house is old- remember that old property on the flats? We always said the next big storm would knock it over? Yeah that one, we bought it. Like morons we put all our savings into it and if it weren't for Hinata's work it would have probably fallen over just from us being in it._

 _I think, if she had been around with me when things went south with you, you wouldn't have left. When she smiles I honestly feel like things can't possibly be bad, not in that moment._

 _Sorry, I'm getting mushy and I know how emotionally constipated you are._

 _I love her though, Sasuke. I do. I wish so much you knew her. Where are you, teme?_

 _When will you come home?_

Stomach clenching uncomfortably Sasuke put the letter down, unable to read anymore. The Hinata he was speaking of sounded so foreign. Thinking of the girl who was one floor up in his friend's classroom he frowned, trying to overlap the two creatures with the same name.

"I don't know what the hell you're talking about." he murmured, glancing over the page he had been able to read, aching for something painful to drink.

A moment fluttered through his mind, of Hinata's angry tear stained eyes fixed on his face, biting her pink lip hard as she stepped into bubble of his person, the scent of lavender and tears lingering in her hair.

Frowning he closed his eyes, letting the half finished letter drop to his desk.

* * *

Sitting in the coolness of the coming winter Hinata nestled into her jacket, hands shoved deep into her pockets and her face half hidden by the tall purple scarf wrapped around her neck. Pale gray eyes followed the two shapes of her children tumbling through the playground, skipping along on the soft squishy ground to climb up the ladders with cries of delight.

Behind her she could feel the sun's last rays as they caressed her back, lending their dying heat to her stiff shoulders.

The meeting with the principal at the preschool had not gone as she had hoped. The tender kind face of the older woman had been gentle as she spoke about the issues her children were having with adjusting, her hand had lingered on her arm with compassion, expressing concern over Haku's refusal to learn any more words in Japanese besides Oka-san and Otou-san.

And Sora.

Hinata's eyes lingered on her three year old, watching her fat little baby legs straining to reach up onto the first ledge of the playground.

 _"Sora-chan's spirit is indomitable, she tells us she wishes she could fly. She has been climbing to the top of the highest available surface with the express goal of jumping off. We're worried about her safety, and would appreciate if you could re-enforce at home how dangerous her actions have been."_

Terrified Hinata had began the conversation with Sora on the way home, inquiring what was making her so determined to fly.

With the sun at their front Sora's eyes had blazed like the heart of a fire, her blonde hair tousled as she held on to her mom's hand tightly, jaw set into a stubborn toddler scowl.

"I want to fly up."

"Demo...Sora, if you jump off things you could hurt youself and-"

"You said daddy was in heaven, daddy is in the sky."

A deep breath to steady her seizing painful heart and Hinata stopped, watching as the cold pink tip of her toddlers nose turned red from the bite of the coming winter and her tear filled eyes.

"Oh Sora..."

"If I fly..."

"Oh Sora... baby no... it doesn't... it doesn't work that way..."

"Sora! Let's go! Come on!" Haku had interjected suddenly, dragging his sister by the hand into the fray of the playground they were coming to, and with her tears marring her vision Hinata had not had the heart to say no.

So there she sat, on the bench in the cold, shivering and less from the cold, more from the pain knifing through her insides.

 _Naruto... I don't know how to do this..._

Eyes brimming with tears she buried herself deeper into her scarf, clenching her hands into painful fists inside her jacket pockets until the bite of her nails on her palm hurt.

 _How am I ever going to do this properly on my own?_

* * *

"I happen to think she's great." Kiba grumbled, actually irritated for the first time in a long time with the arrogant man standing before him as they sorted books for their classes in the school library. A little more forcefully than he needed to he shoved a handful onto the shelf.

"I don't get why you're being such an ass about it."

Sasuke didn't reply right away, equally bothered by the stance that Kiba had decided to take in response to his comments on Hinata.

It was odd, in the first place that he was even thinking about Hinata at all. He had never before complained about any of the Assistant Language Teachers. He had mercilessly bullied them to their face but when asked how they were doing his reply had been brief and lacking in spectacular insights.

"Fine." Had been his choice of report.

Making the mistake of asking how she was working out for him Kiba had learned this would not be a routine report from the Uchiha, it would be anything but.

"She should be fired. She's late, she's insubordinate, she has no presence in the classroom, half the work I ask her to get done isn't done because she's always late."

Kiba rolled his eyes behind Sasuke's back at his little speech. "She's working more than full time because of your current lack of motivation on Mondays, don't be stupid."

Genuinely annoyed Sasuke turned to look at him. "You just want to get in her pants."

For a moment Inuzuka just looked at him, jaw tight.

Finding himself continuing as a result of Kiba's lack of response Sasuke pressed on. "Which is sad, considering that she's a little bit of a waif with literally nothing interesting about her. She looks like she hasn't slept in days most of the time. I thought you had higher standards."

"Are you done?" Kiba grunted, chucking the last batch of books on the shelf so hard the sound echoed in the stillness of the empty library.

Sasuke paused, aware suddenly that he was feeling more and more like punching something.

"For the moment."

"Good, I'm going. You can finish that shit up yourself." his friend muttered, grabbing his coat off the back of one of the library chairs. "I'm done listening to your bull."

Incredulous Sasuke followed him with his eyes, frowning. "I'm not doing the sorting for your class."

"Fine, just ask Hyuuga-san to do it." Kiba snapped, throwing his bag over his shoulder and starting towards the doors. Jaw clenching Sasuke scoffed. "Ask her yourself, it's another excuse to talk to her."

Shaking his **head** Kiba paused with his back to him at the door, hand on the handle. "You never give a damn one way or the other about anyone, Uchiha. And now you're ranting about the one girl who doesn't give a shit about you?"

He glanced back, meeting dark ebony eyes with chocolate colored irises of his own. "You aren't taking the rejection as well as you thought you would. Clearly. Even though she's married."

To keep himself from gaping Sasuke turned away, picking up another book. "You're delusional."

The sound of the door opening and closing quietly made him glance back, realizing Kiba had not even bothered to reply to his retort. This was both unexpected and unmapped territory. Teasing him about girls was part of Kiba's repetoire as his friend, but now that he thought about it Sasuke couldn't remember a time when the banter had gone from him to Kiba, and he realized, perhaps if it had been banter then maybe he wouldn't have reacted like he did. Nothing about his tone or choice of words had exactly screamed joke.

Feeling suddenly very tired he sat down, placing his head in his hands for a moment, eyes closed. In his back pocket he could feel the letter he had not finished earlier in the day burning a hole through his clothes.

"Fuck." He whispered, pulling the item out and throwing it on the table with distaste. With furtive angry hands he ripped the pages out of the envelope again, flipping through them until he got to the place he had last left off.

Like cutting, like drinking, like removing himself from everyone's life reading these things had become a dirty habit. Swallowing he began to read again, feeling the first nervous shake of his hands from his lack of liquor and the deep desire that made his molecules hurt.

* * *

Leave me some love, ne?

Inky


	5. Chapter 5

_**A.N**_

 _ **So, I was out most of the day, I wandered into a store that sold Japanese items and I looked around in a bit of a daze. There wasn't a single person that wasn't of oriental descent there, the signs were both in English and Japanese. For a second I got overwhelmed, and I felt loud and obnoxious. It seems to me that by comparison westerners tend to be a little over the top with our communication? Maybe it was just that I am still so tired.**_

 _ **Anyway, I had been thinking about Hinata actually, and what it would be like to be in a store where you're not a hundred percent sure what you're getting, and finding new interesting things that you might like to use, and then I ended up in the same situation which I think was just fate saying I had to write this thing when I got home.**_

 _ **much love,**_

 _ **Inky**_

 _ **Oh, PS to my flamers: maybe there's rudeness pills? I mean, I love you anyway warts and all but for your sake, wouldn't that be worth looking into? Don't suffer needlessly!**_

* * *

The snow came with force, one night it was fall, with a chill in the air and the wind kicking up dry leaves and garbage on the streets and the next day the stillness of winter had come over them.

Wide eyed Hinata swallowed as she looked out the window of her bedroom, blinking rapidly to process the long frozen spirals of ice that clung to the little bit of roof sticking out over the window frame to buffer some of the wind.

Several inches thick on the porch against the glass sliding doors told her she was going to have issues getting herself and the kids to daycare on time. Outside and even in the building usually bustling with sounds of morning breakfasts and hurried see-you-laters there was a stillness only first snow can bring.

Even her own kids were sleeping in late. Glancing at the clock Hinata hesitated between waking them up and having them get overly excited at the sight of the snow or setting up breakfast and their clothes and lunches out ready to go before bothering to get them awake.

Hesitating at the door of her bedroom she gazed at the two sprawled little bodies covering a much larger portion of her futon than they really ought to have been. Sighing deeply she moved forward, settling down beside Haku, watching his sleepy baby face taking deep slow breaths. The shape of his chin and the way that his cheeks pulled back in a smile always looked so much like Naruto. Even in his sleep in his most relaxed state she could see her husbands features peeking out.

On the first morning of their marriage Hinata had watched him sleep, studying the way he sighed deeply, the way his lashes rested over the curve of his cheek, the way his hair got mussed only on the left side. Until one eye had peeked at her with mischief and a grin had spread over his face, making her turn a thousand degrees warmer than was natural.

 _"Were you watching me sleep, Hina-chan?"_

 _"I-I- n-no!"_

 _"Don't lie! You are the worst liar!"_

He had thrown the blanket over her and covered her in kisses, pressing her to the bed with his weight, making her breath come in gasps as his lips lingered down her neck, to her collar bone, making her sigh out his name.

Setting her jaw tightly against the memory Hinata reached out to run her hand through Haku's dark hair, playing with the silk strands gently before frowning.

He was hot. Very hot. Noting suddenly the redness of his pale cheeks she leaned down, pressing her forehead to his.

"Oh no, Haku-kun..." she whispered, pulling back with worry.

That was a fever, it was a fever for sure. Blearily one of Haku's blue eyes opened and a flash of memory hit her like a lightening bolt, Naruto looked at her sleepily from the bed for a second and then morphed once more into her tiny upset son.

"Oka-san..." he whimpered, closing his eyes against the light. "My throat hurts."

"Don't worry, baby." She murmured, her brain frazzled for a moment. "I'll get you some medicine, okay?"

"Okay."

Quietly she moved around the futon to the other side where Sora lay snoring, her cheeks pink, her nose whistling as she breathed.

 _Oh no, not a cold!_

Squaring her shoulders she moved to the kitchen, glad that the first thing she had done was stock up on painkillers and snacks the kids liked when sick upon arrival into their new home.

But work would simply not be happening today...

Wincing she looked at her phone plugged in at the counter on the kitchen, it's innocent face beckoning for her to pick it up and dial.

Sasuke was going to have a fit. She had chewed him out two weeks ago over this very thing and he had not been speaking to her at all since then, the most she could get out of him when they were alone was a gruff irritable "Hn."

Clenching her jaw she picked up the device and began to dial Tsunade. As the ringing continued a bothered uncharacteristic little thought bloomed, making her blush despite being alone.

 _I hope this bugs you. That way you'll know how it feels._

"Tsunade-san...Hello... I have some bad news..."

* * *

"You're going to tell me she's not being unprofessional?" He frowned at Kiba, so irritated he could hardly believe it. Kiba frowned back but didn't reply right away. Breathing in hard through his nose he clicked on something on his laptop, glancing at the other teachers down from them on the other side of the long room talking quietly among themselves.

"I think you need to look at your own sick calls before you start pointing fingers, Uchiha."

"She's doing it on purpose. We had... a disagreement... recently about her coming in late all the time and she threw it in my face."

Kiba smirked involuntarily, the thought of someone throwing anything in Sasuke's face always had that kind of effect on his mood.

Glaring at him pointedly Sasuke slammed his work binder closed. "And that stupid Haruno girl just will not let up. At least when Hyuuga-san is here I can tell her to go ask her whatever it is she needs, but when she's gone..."

"She's still at it?" Kiba frowned, looking back at him worriedly. This particular student was showing a complete lack of restraint. The others were in a mob mentality about Sasuke, going so far as to starting a fan club they dubbed Sensei-Fest. It was unofficial, not approved by the school and as per what Kiba had overheard in the hall from some of the irritated male students it had a following of nearly half the female students.

But none of them were quite as forward as Haruno Sakura.

"Never stopped, I just happened to be able to not deal with it for a bit when Hinata-" he paused, surprised when her name came tumbling out of his mouth. "Hyuuga-san, I mean, is in the class."

Kiba's eyebrows had gone up at Hinata's name and had yet to come down. "Hinata?" he blinked. "You're on a first name basis now?"

"No." Sasuke sulked, looking for something on his desk to block his friend's face from his line of vision. "Just a mistake." reading Naruto's letters was getting him confused. Hearing her name over and over was blurring lines he didn't realize could even be blurred. Irritated he jabbed the on button on his lap top.

"A mistake?"

"Yes, look I have a lot to do right now since Hyuuga-san didn't bother to show up again today, that's three days in a row now."

"Two, she's only part time, one of them was her day off."

"Ugh, please be quiet and just marry her already." Sasuke growled, propping up his own laptop with more fierceness than was necessary. Kiba leaned back in his chair, chewing on his lip for a second and contemplating.

"Now... either you're trying to wean off some of the liquor and it's got you particularly grumpy, or you actually think she's doing this to get back to you. But honestly, I have been working with the girl too and I feel like the only vindictive bone in her body was probably broken early in her life."

Surprised once more by Kiba's insight Sasuke typed furiously into his computer, trying to figure out how to phrase the new incident he had had with Haruno in his classroom that day before sending it to Tsunade to evaluate.

"...I may be trying to cut back a bit, yes. But I still do think that she's being a brat just to spite me. She may be polite and friendly to you, but-'

"Well, I am polite and friendly to her, it usually helps with the whole building relationships thing."

"Whatever."

Kiba sat up, peeking his eyes over Sasuke's computer screen in half moon smiles.

"But, besides the fact that you're a jerk, I'm glad you're trying to cut back a bit. I noticed you haven't called in sick at all in two weeks."

Sasuke didn't reply, pretending to be focused on the email he was trying to pen for the principal. He had had to cut back it wasn't really an option. He wasn't about to let himself get more indebted to that woman if he could help it.

Although it was costing him a small fortune in booze. He simply could not go the entire 24 hours of a day without a drink, so the bottle would be opened in the evening, and halfway through he would force himself to his feet, pouring the contents down the drain in his sink with a desperate painful feeling in his gut.

"Have you still been reading those letters?" Kiba had sat back down and his voice drifted over the blockade of computer between himself and the Uchiha, allowing Sasuke the freedom to wince in the open at his question.

"...sometimes." He mustered.

The truth was that most of them had been ripped open and one or maybe half of one page would get read and as Naruto's voice began to sound in his head he would drop it like it was made of lead. The paper would float and land with an echoing thump in his brain. The rest of the night he would spend convincing himself not to go to the liquor store for more to drink, and he would fall into a fitful painful sleep that left him more tired than before.

"Well, there's no rush." Kiba supplied calmly giving a loud yawn.

Sasuke sighed, feeling less and less like typing out an email about Haruno Sakura asking him again if there was any way he could tutor her privately.

"Uchiha."

Snapped out of his thoughts Sasuke turned, frowning as Tsunade walked over to them briskly, looking down at some files in her arms. The click of her heels on the hard floor always made his stomach tighten. Although his reports of inappropriate behavior had gone down since Hinata's arrival he had not exactly received a congratulations from the principal. If anything there had been a soundless void where he wasn't sure if he was going to get chewed out for calling in sick or fired for having too many teen girls fall in "love" with him.

"Tsunade-san." He drawled lazily, leaning back in his chair as she approached.

"I am here to drop off some tests that Hyuuga-san sent by courier to the office. It would appear you asked her to prep them for tomorrow."

"Oh no, is she not coming in again?" Kiba asked, just the slightest bit of teasing in his voice as he glanced at Sasuke who had closed his eyes against the immaturity and irritation ahead of time.

"No. She sounds pretty sure that she will be back next week, but I'm don't know. She did sound rather tired." Tsunade sighed, rubbing her face before turning to Sasuke with a frown that could level mountains.

"You've been calling in sick an awful lot too. What's going on? I hope you're not out partying."

"No, actually." Sasuke replied, glad to have some semblance of truth to use in his reply. "I am going to the doctor next week if it continues to be a problem, Tsunade-san. I can give you more information on what's happening then."

"Well, I hope you can handle the English Class alone tomorrow, hopefully the weekend is all she needs to get better and we can get back to normal. I am tired of figuring out substitutes for everyone." She waved her hand in the air to bat away the invisible problems before heading back the way she came.

"Good night!"

"Good night!" Kiba called back.

"Damnit." Sasuke growled, turning back around and shutting his lap top abruptly.

Inuzuka didn't even bother to look at him, turning back to his computer as Sasuke ripped his from the desk and began to pack up angrily.

"You're going to get an ulcer." He commented drily.

"Shut up."

"You going home then?"

"No."

"Don't go to a bar, okay?" Kiba looked up finally, frowning. "You're doing better, despite your current tantrum."

"Please shut up, Inuzuka."

"You first."

"Ugh." Sasuke muttered throwing his bag over his shoulder.

"See you tomorrow!" Kiba called cheerily. Without turning around Sasuke flipped him the finger and headed out the door.

"What a ray of sunshine." his friend grumbled, turning back to his work.

* * *

They had had no visitors. It had been months now, arriving in September and now nearing end of November the idea of having visitors was so foreign that when the a knock sounded on the door she stared.

Haku and Sora had finally gone to sleep, their little sniffly noses red from constant blowing. More than once Sora had begged for her daddy who would lay with her in her bed when she was ill at home, running his fingers slowly up and down her arm until she drifted off to sleep. It didn't matter how much Hinata tried to calm her, the toddler had screamed and cried until she had fallen asleep from exhaustion.

Now in the stillness of the evening after gathering their toys into their respective boxes on the shelves and getting herself a cup of tea Hinata lay with her head on the table, eyes closed, trying not to think about the things Naruto's fingers had done to her skin too.

There was the knocking again, more firm and impatient than the first time she had thought she heard it.

 _I'm actually not imagining it._

Slowly she stood, tripping over one of the kids shoes as she got to the door. Sleepily she opened the door and blinked, resisting the monumental urge to slam it closed at the sight of his face on the other side.

"Hyuuga." Sasuke snapped, putting his shoulder firmly in the door frame. Hinata stared at it for a moment as though it was the most offensive thing she had ever seen in her life.

"What are you doing here?" She blinked. "How do you even know where I live?"

For a moment fear gripped her and she wondered how hard she would have to slam the door to break the collarbone peeking from beneath his black shirt.

Ignoring her question Sasuke glared. "So you're sick, hm?"

Hinata turned her gaze back to him and flushed crimson. "That's none of your business."

"If you think I'm going to be picking up your slack just because you're annoyed you had to take my classes-" he began and watched as the confusion lit over her face like a fire. "What? What are you talking about?"

Feeling suddenly like maybe he was demented he stopped.

"I need to go, see you on Monday, Uchiha-san." Hinata shook her head in confusion at him, moving to close the door only to have him push in further, making something sharp shoot through her stomach again.

"I was fine until you showed up, you know?" He was talking fast, as though the words were scared to jump off his tongue but once one did it the others followed blindly.

"I'm sure you were."

"I was, I had made sure I was, I did what I had to do and Naruto didn't understand that."

Hearing his name on Sasuke's lips made Hinata's teeth hurt. Wincing visibly she lowered her face into her hands. "You know what? Sure, you're right. Everything you say is correct. Please, please..." whimpering now in her tiredness she shook her head. "Please just..."

"Mama?"

Freezing Hinata looked up, eyes wide as she stared into Sasuke's equally stunned gaze.

"Mama?"

Slowly Hinata turned, her shoulders stiff, breath caught in her throat.

In the hall Sora stood, blue eyes studying her and the man at the door with wide curiosity.

"Ohaiyo." She whispered, and Sasuke felt himself take a step back, blinking rapidly. His friends eyes gazed at him from the tiny delicate face, Naruto's blonde hair stood on end around the chubby toddler cheeks.

"You..." He began slowly, startled. "You have..."

A cry from the bedroom made Hinata jump. "Haku..." torn, she glanced back at Sasuke for half a second and stepped into the hall, leaving the door open.

On the way she scooped up Sora and walked into the soft light of her home, kicking a toy out of the hall as she went.

Suddenly he could see her clearly. Opening the door to the apartment she had had little finger print stains of peanut butter on the shoulder of her green t-shirt. Her jeans had purple felt marker on the leg, her hair was up in a mess of a bun and her eyes were tired and tear filled.

The whimpering cries from the bedroom down the hall continued and for a second Sasuke took a step away from the door, a shame washing over him so forcefully that the only thing he could really think of was the liquor store down the street.

Before he could take another step Hinata came back out of the room, the little girl in her arms chewing on something sticky and sweet before she settled her in front of the TV, turning it on without even looking.

Jaw set she walked back down the hall to where he stood like a statue, watching this moment as though it were happening to someone else.

"I need your help."

He didn't move, his eyes watching her face and the way she refused to meet his gaze, biting her lip again hard, turning the skin of her mouth a bright delicious pink.

"Haku is sick."

"Haku." He whispered, eyes flickering behind her, searching.

"He's our-my son." Hinata whispered, astounded that she was having this conversation. "I think he needs antibiotics but I can't... I can't take him out like this so late. Can you stay...there's a pharmacy down the road-"

"I'll go...I'll..." He was stuttering for the first time in his life and the sound alone made her look up in surprise at him. "What?"

"I'll go get what... what does he need?"

Hinata shook her head. "No, I just... need someone in the room so if there's a fire or something they don't die- I can go get it-"

"I can't..." he searched her face, and she stared, seeing for the first time ever something other than disdain on his features. Terror? Pain? She traced the line of his lips with her eyes and moved back to his startled black eyes.

"O...okay... he has an ear infection, there's...drops, for that. He's four, so it has to be age appropriate- i don't know brands here but, the pharmacists should know."

Without another word Sasuke turned down the hall.

Hinata blinked after him, one hand on the door frame where his shoulder had pressed so aggressively before.

 _What just happened?_

 _Just walk, Uchiha. Just walk._

The lights of the shops still open flickered in the dark of the night, and reflected off the snow. The slush was plentiful and within a few minutes he remembered again that he had in fact worn the wrong shoes for the day.

Ignoring the biting cold of the snow wetting his feet he glanced down the street and past the heads of the chattering crowds making their breath fog up the dark night.

Down a few shop fronts was the blazing red and blue of a pharmacy, and one before it was the liquor store.

He stopped, breathing deep, picturing again the little girl with the blue eyes he recognized, her blonde hair was as familiar as his own.

Shaking he started the trek down the street, his feet carrying him numbly forward until the glare of the liquor store sign spread over half his face and breathing deep he stumbled past it into the pharmacy.

He wasn't about to go buy medicine for a little boy with a bottle of gin tucked under his arm. Even if he really really wanted -no- needed one.

The glare of the lights in the pharmacy made him blink and licking his lips he walked down the aisles numbly, wondering what the hell he was even doing.

The woman at the counter watched him curiously, big eyes consuming her face with care. It wasn't unfamiliar, that stare. He had had it happen all his life, it was almost one of disbelief, although he could never quite figure out what it was they couldn't wrap their heads around.

"...ano, sir... May I help you?" she finally called softly, eyes trained on him despite the fact there were two other customers in the store.

"No..." he began and then sighed, turning around in the aisle and seeing endless bottles of things he had never even known existed before.

"Actually." He grumbled walking up to her.

"I need ear drops?" He sounded unsure, biting his cheek for a second he continued. "For a four year old boy, antibiotics, I think."

Her eyes searched his face with the same wide eyed disbelief he was so familiar with. "Oh, certainly. Does he have a fever?"

Sasuke stared at her.

 _Shit._

"One second... I..." he paused, digging his phone out of his pocket anxiously. Flipping through the miniature list of contacts he found Kiba, and listened dimly to the sound of the phone ringing, ignoring the searching gaze of the woman staring at him.

"Kiba." He began.

 _"Well hello to you too."_

"I need you to text me Hinata's phone number."

 _"Nope."_

"What?"

 _"That was a no."_

"Kiba, text me the number."

 _"I'm not helping you harass the poor girl, no way. Forget it."_

"I'm not-" Sasuke took a deep breath. "Kiba, I am not going to harass her, for fucks sake. I really need the number right now. I'm serious."

A long pause extended over the line. _"Uchiha, if I send you this number and I hear one complaint from Hinata..."_

Frowning Sasuke turned away from the eavesdropping pharmacist, irritated beyond belief.

"What? You'll do what?"

 _"Don't make me punch you, okay? I don't think that would go over well so close to our teaching evaluations. Seriously, I need this job as much if not more than you do."_

"Just send me the number."

Kiba's noncommittal grunt was his last comment before hanging up. For a moment Sasuke stared at the phone, willing it to vibrate, feeling his jaw tightening as the seconds ticked by until abruptly it shook, the contact making the screen light up with Hinata's name on it.

Without pausing to evaluate what he was doing he dialed, listening to the one and then two rings before her breathless, _"Uchiha-san?"_

Sasuke turned to the pharmacist again, irritated by her trained gaze on him. "Does...Haku..." he struggled for a moment, "Does he have a fever?"

 _"H..Hai."_

"Yes." He looked at the pharmacist and she nodded. "Sore throat?"

"Sore throat?"

He heard a sound on the phone that made him blink. It was a laugh, half humor half nerves as Hinata sighed. _"Yes."_

"Yes." He looked back at the woman and she moved, pulling out a box from behind her on the shelf.

"I have to go." Sasuke muttered into the phone.

 _"Hai...arigato, Uchiha-san."_

"Hn."

"I hope your son is feeling better soon." The pharmacist smiled as she rung him up, and Sasuke looked up at her in surprise, retraining his face with some difficulty.

"Oh...hai. Arigato."

Practically running out of the pharmacy he was halfway back to the apartment before he realized he had completely forgotten to stop at the liquor store on the way back to buy his gin.

* * *

He watched her, fascinated as she pulled her son into her lap. The boy stared at him with calculating blue eyes marred with a high fever. He wondered if in his state he would think he was nothing but a bad dream.

Standing in the hall just out of the boundary of their living room he studied her dropping the medicine into the ear of her boy despite his squirming. Her hands were firm and gentle, her frown one of concern.

"It's okay, Haku-kun. I've got you."

"Oka-san." Sora stated, her eyes trained on Sasuke with a steely focus that he found slightly unnerving.

"One second, Sora-chan."

"Oka-san."

Sighing Hinata picked Haku back up and walked into his and Sora's room.

"Oka-san." Sora called again. "Want kiki."

"Uchiha-san...can you please...there's cookies on top of the fridge." Hinata's voice was tired, and for a moment Sasuke stared at the invisible threshold of the hallway into the living room. Sora's blue eyes were unmoving on him again, expectation lighting them with interest. "Kiki."

"Uchiha-san?"

"Hai." He murmured, stepping into the living space with some trepidation.

The apartment was dimly lit in the darkness of late evening. He could see that she had put effort into making it more home like. Unlike his own apartment there were pictures in frames on the walls, on the shelves, on the fridge.

He froze.

Staring at him was Naruto, his grin so wide and familiar it knocked the air out of his lungs, and beside him like some menacing crow there _he_ was, glaring.

"Kiki." tiny hands pulled on his pants and he looked down, staring at the hesitant smile of a chubby toddler face, the same blue eyes from the picture blinking at him with slowly growing warmth.

"Here." he murmured, pulling out a sugary thing and handing it to her lightly.

Sora took it, eyes brightening with violent affection.

"Kiki, ai-gato."

"Take that to bed, Sora-chan." Hinata appeared in the doorway, swiping at her bangs with her hands lightly and blowing out a breath of air tiredly.

"Night, night, Ka-san." the child mumbled as she went to her room, chubby legs peeking out from under her nighty as she ran.

Closing the door Hinata bit her lip, glancing up at him for a second, hands twisting in front of her lap.

"...Arigato, Uchiha-san..." she began, watching him staring at her fridge out of the corner of her eye. "I...I realize you thought I was just trying to...to be spiteful, calling in sick, demo..."

"Iie." He shook his head tiredly, allowing himself a sigh. "I should go." He murmured, moving to get past her. In the tightness of the space he felt her press herself against the wall to let him by, rubbing her arm awkwardly as he passed.

Following a few steps behind Hinata watched him step into the hall, stopping briefly in the light of the streetlight.

"Gomen." He murmured, looking away from her pointedly. Hinata blinked at him, mouth parted in an O of surprise.

"I...no...it's okay, I..."

"No, it's not." He shook his head, ebony eyes flickering to her briefly before starting away. "See you at work on Monday."

"H-h-hai." Hinata meeped, watching him for a second longer before closing the door to her apartment and leaning against it, gray eyes searching the darkness for answers to questions she couldn't even put into words.

* * *

 ** _As it appears this story is determined to be, I stayed up writing this thing._**

 ** _It is relentless._**

 ** _I am unsure that I liked this chapter. Aspects of it I think will likely be more fleshed out in the future chapters, hopefully right after this one, actually._**

 ** _I'm too tired to think anymore._**

 ** _leave me some love, ne?_**

 ** _inky_**


	6. Chapter 6

_**A.N**_

 _ **There was a question posted on my last chapter about Sasuke recognizing Naruto's daughter's looks and finding them as familiar as his own. That just means that because he was so close to Naruto he was as familiar with what made him distinctive as he was familiar with his own appearance.**_

 _ **Maybe that needs clarifying, I will look at it more closely in future edits.**_

 _ **I am trying not to burn out. I don't feel like I am until I realize it's one or two in the morning and I have to get up at six or seven. Then I feel very tired. However, to be honest, when I try to sleep and the story is screaming at me in the dark I find it easier to get up and get something done that to just lay there trying to ignore the people in my head.**_

 _ **To those of you reviewing so faithfully thank you, it helps. Issues that are brought up I have taped to my wall with little sticky notes that look like pandas. It makes me happy that I will not forget any of them and also gives me an excuse to use my panda stickies ;)**_

 _ **NewRageInc- I too dislike gin, but knowing Sasuke he likely is drinking a spectacularly expensive kind. Gin is kind of odd that way in that the bottom shelf options are worse than piss and the higher end ones are like silk- you know, if silk was a poison you could drink ;)**_

 _ **He also does like a variety of liquors, I'm noting the more aggressive ones tend to be on his usual repertoire, vodka for instance is not my favorite at all but he drinks it straight. That I think it probably the first real step he took for me as an alcoholic. The fact that he's trying to pull back and can't just quit cold turkey is also a serious sign that he's in pain without the liquor.**_

 _ **Also there's a couple comments from people that Kiba's boy talk is kind of annoying. I guess it will become clearer as the story goes along but I just want to stress that Kiba is a good egg. The kind of good egg that knows when it's appropriate to speak certain ways and when it's not.**_

 _ **For instance half drunk he was starting to get uncomfortable speaking crudely in the first chapter. I think, watching him from my peanut gallery seat that he says some provocative things just to see what Sasuke says because in his head Sasuke is kind of a prude (I know, I had a hard time when I realized that) Sasuke has to be plastered to end up in bed with someone in an attempt to feel less lonely.**_

 _ **Kiba kind of pokes fun at the prude Sasuke because he wishes he would think about it more to process some of his feelings, but he would never actually mean what he said. In comparison Sasuke when he was talking about Kiba getting into Hinata's pants actually said it to hurt Kiba out of irritation with him. It would only hurt Kiba if Sasuke thought he was the kind of solid guy who would never actually look at a girl with those intentions only.**_

 _ **I am looking at those interactions more closely (in my sleepless haze, mind you) and trying to figure out if there is something I miswrote into it that doesn't translate from my head to the page.**_

 _ **Hope that cleared up some of the comments.**_

 _ **Much love,**_

 _ **Inky**_

* * *

Hinata stared at the two obento boxes in front of her, biting her lip. What was it Naruto always said?

 _"Tomatoes. That man and tomatoes and oniri, I swear. Sometimes we discussed the different vitamin deficiencies he could get from eating literally nothing else."_

 _"D...demo..." Hinata had blinked at him, watching as her beautiful blonde slurped up a noodle. "You could eat Ramen until you passed out..."_

 _"Hey!" Naruto stared at her in shock, his blue eyes crinkling at the corners with mirth despite the serious expression on his lips. "Whose side are you on?"_

 _Hinata had smiled, leaning across the counter to plant a kiss on his nose._

 _"Always your side. Always."_

"Tomatoes." she stared down at the oniri nicely pressed into one side of the obento container and pulled up a bowl of cherry tomatoes, their red skins glistening in the morning light.

"Well..." she sighed, rubbing her forehead to try to distract herself from the feeling of embarrassment already crawling up her back. "...here goes nothing."

"Do I have to go?" At the table in the family room Haku was pushing around cereal in a bowl, his blue eyes uninterested in the multicolored floating bits in his milk.

Hinata sighed again, watching him for a moment before continuing to press tomatoes into the container, moving on to the tiny octopus shaped sausages next.

"I know it's hard, Haku-kun."

"I don't understand when they talk." He whispered. "Their words are different."

"But you do understand some of the words don't you? I heard you calling Sora-chan baka recently." Hinata's tone took on a teasing stern voice and his eyes flickered to her as his cheeks reddened. "Um..."

"It's all going to get better and better." Hinata assured him, coming to sit across the little table from him. "I promise. It just takes time."

"Sora no baka!" Sora shouted suddenly, raising her fork up in the air like a sword blue eyes shining like the heart of a fire. Hinata jumped at her outburst, along with Haku and then to her kids' surprise burst out laughing. The sound had been missing for so long it cracked the silence like a diamond through a glass window.

Haku felt a tentative smile reach his mouth as he watched his mom giggle.

"Okay." He murmured, taking a deep breath. "Okay."

Hinata turned to him with a smile, pushing his wild black hair back from his forehead gently. "That's my boy."

* * *

 _"What do you want now?" Kiba shoved the phone to his ear without looking at it, expecting Sasuke's less than friendly voice on the other side. To his surprise there was a long pause and then, "Ano...Inuzuka-san, g-gomen, I..."_

 _"OH!" Kiba stopped marching through the street, pausing to shove himself under the canopy of a shop to his right on the way home from the school. "Hyuuga-san! Sorry! I was expecting...someone else..."_

 _He paused for a moment and then winced. "Oh no, I'm sorry did... did Sasuke call you to-"_

 _"Oh, I was actually...I was actually calling to ask if you gave him my phone number and address?"_

 _Kiba blinked, glancing around the street as though it would hold some sort of answer to her question. "Your number, yes, he asked for it just a moment ago. I'm sorry, did he call you just to bug you cuz if he did-"_

 _"No! Not at all, I just wanted to thank you for d-doing that, he- I needed his help with...something, and well, thank you... I wasn't sure how he got it, I knew you had it so I thought..."_

 _"I didn't give him your address though." Kiba blinked, then felt a bit of color drain from his face. "Did he show up at your house?"_

 _"Um...yes, but it's okay, it was fine..."_

 _"Ugh. Well, don't cover for him, Hyuuga-san, he's kind of..." Kiba paused, and then reconsidered. "He's going through some stuff right now, and that's no excuse, so don't let him be hard on you. But that's where it's coming from. It's not you. I'm pretty sure."_

 _Hinata listened to the silence for a moment as she thought, wondering about what stuff he was referring to for the first time since arriving in her new home. "Arigato, Inuzuka-san... I appreciate it."_

 _"No problem...and hey, if you ever need anything."_

 _"Oh, thank you.T-thanks."_

 _Kiba smiled briefly, starting his walk again. "See you Monday."_

 _When she hung up he stared at his phone for a second, dodging other people on the street as he traveled through the slushy landscape._

 _Why would Sasuke show up at her house? Worried that perhaps he had had more to drink than he should have again Kiba sighed, wondering if he should call him._

 _Deciding against it he marched onward towards home, hoping that sometime in the weekend the lonely bastard would bother to give him a call, for once._

"So." Kiba walked towards the school on the early morning of Monday, wishing like everyone else that he could be home instead in his warm bed, instead of prancing through a parking lot of quickly melting dirty snow. "You went to Hyuuga-san's on Friday?"

Sasuke glanced at him briefly as he trudged along, jaw tight. "She told you?"

"She tells me everything." Kiba teased, and then more seriously. "No, she doesn't but she called me to...thank me? For sending you her contact info. What happened? I'm thoroughly weirded out."

Feeling more groggy and light headed than usual on his third day on minimal drinking Sasuke sighed, not feeling particularly inclined to having these sorts of conversations. Especially so early, on a Monday.

"I don't really want to talk about it."

"Argh." Kiba grunted, knowing that there would be no getting anywhere with Sasuke's mood as silent and grumpy as it was. "Well damn."

"I didn't harass her though." The Uchiha added suddenly, giving Kiba's shoulder a shove that almost sent him flying into a snow pile.

"Well good!" Kiba stuttered, getting his feet back under himself. "Otherwise I would have to kick your ass."

"Tch." Sasuke's reply was less than concerned as he waved over his head at him and entered the school, heading towards the teachers lounge to dump most of his junk.

Halfway down the hall though he paused, watching Hinata step out of the room, holding two fabric wrapped boxes in her arms.

Behind him Kiba brought up the rear, grumbling about Sasuke in some quiet but irritable language.

"Hyuuga-san." Sasuke muttered, finding to his surprise an inability to meet her eyes.

"Ohaiyo, Uchiha-san...Inuzuka-san." Hinata smiled, feeling to her perpetual embarrassment as color rose to her face. "I...I wanted...I." she paused, irritated with herself. "Thank you, for helping me out, Friday night." She offered the two obento boxes out away from her body.

Kiba blinked and then grinned. "Oh! Homemade obento! Thank you, Hyuuga-san!"

Eagerly he reached out, taking the one offered to him. "I haven't had anything home made in...forever!"

Sasuke stared at the box in front of him for a moment, heart pounding in his chest with something that was distinctly unfamiliar.

"I..." He began trying to find words to reject the offering. Before he could figure out what he was going to say though Kiba took the obento, throwing it into his arms so that Sasuke had to scramble to not drop it. "You're awesome, Hyuuga-san! See you in a bit. Thank you!" He called, dragging Sasuke away by the arm.

Hinata nodded and, face hidden by her bangs rushed up the stairs to their classrooms, cheeks pink and ears burning.

Once she was out of ear shot Kiba turned to look at Sasuke with a mixture of confusion and dislike. "You idiot."

Sasuke found to his surprise that he had no reply. Truth was truth was truth after all.

"What did you do on Friday?"

"I just...ran an errand she couldn't do herself." He mumbled, moving to step into the teachers lounge, handling the obento like it was something made of glass.

Kiba followed again, glaring at his back.

"An errand?"

"Hai."

"Whatever you did. I bet you wouldn't have done it drunk though." he pointed out as they went to their respective desks across from each other. Around them the buzz of other teachers talking to each other and organizing themselves before the day lingered in the air, a soft hum of work getting ready to be done.

The Uchiha didn't reply, his hands putting the obento on the desk in front of him carefully, staring at the tiny dark birds that were printed over the fabric.

"No." He admitted softly. "I suppose not." Slowly he began to undo the wrapping on the lunch, curiosity getting the better of him for a moment. Kiba watched, although also curious he said, "It's going to get cold before lunch if you open it now."

"I just...want to see." Sasuke found himself murmuring slowly. Popping open the lid he blinked. The obento was carefully packed, oniri lined the one side of the little tray, and on the other bright red cherry tomatoes, with tiny octopus sausages in the center like little soldiers ready to march.

"Weird." Kiba blinked. "Why so many tomatoes?"

Sasuke just stared at it, blinking rapidly, unable to get the uncomfortable new feeling to shift in his chest.

* * *

The murmuring words in the classroom were both tense and light hearted as students attempted to gain traction with their English, laughing at their funny sounding voices and tripping over words as they attempted to communicate to each other some prepared conversations.

Hinata studied them, wondering what it would have been like to be in the same classroom each year with the same students. Back home the classes were different from term to term, and over time friendships had to be made based on what the students had in common. Here it seemed like friendships were made simply because of how long the students spent together each day. Like siblings in a home they knew each other and were familiar with their respective struggles simply because of the close proximity of their lives.

Thoughtfully she looked back down at the reports she had received from the kids, studying their writing a little tiredly.

"Please, go ask Hyuuga-sensei about it." she heard, and blinking looked up in time to see Haruno Sakura twisting her hands before her as she spoke to Sasuke, her face a little too close to her teacher's as she whispered something. Sasuke, leaning down on a desk to assist a male student with a question closed his eyes in obvious irritation.

"Haruno-san, please go ask Hyuuga-sensei about it. I am currently assisting another student. I cannot help two at once."

"I...I can wait." Haruno began, her hands lacing behind her back nervously. Hinata's gaze flickered to Sasuke who had at that moment looked over at her, ebony eyes making contact with her for only a second before he looked away. Thankful that he didn't see the immediate rush of blood to her cheeks Hinata stood.

"Haruno-san? May I be of assistance? It appears Uchiha-sensei is busy right now, demo, I am currently free..."

Sakura looked at her over her shoulder for a long moment, her jade eyes focused on her pale gray with a look Hinata found hard to identify. Sighing softly she turned to her. "Okay. I'll go get my stuff."

As the pink haired girl wandered down the rows of seats to her work book Sasuke sighed. "Thanks."

"Mhm." Hinata nodded beside him, watching Sakura saying something to Ino Yamanaka which made the blonde turn her eyes to Hinata with a less than favorable expression.

"Hm." She hummed to herself, watching as the two began to approach her at once, and remembering too many instances where beautiful confident girls had walked up to her in school she felt her stomach clench uncomfortably.

 _Easy, Hinata-chan, you've got this. Believe it._ Naruto's voice whispered in her head and steeling herself she smiled.

"Let's sit over here, shall we? Yamanaka-san, would you like some help too?"

The blonde shrugged lazily. "Ano, I can wait for whichever of you two is free first." She offered, her eyes pointedly looking at Sasuke who began to digress his explanation of a complicated grammar problem to the student beside him without looking up.

"I think Uchiha-sensei is going to be busy for quite some time, Yamanaka-san. Come and join me and Haruno-san at this table and we can all three work on your problems together." Hinata murmured, letting her eyes flicker to Sasuke and back although he was looking pointedly away as though not listening to their conversation.

Jaw clenching for one second Ino nodded. "Fine."

Together the two girls plopped down in their seats and Hinata bit her lip, joining them with the least bit of hesitation she could muster, pulling a pen out of her pocket calmly. "So, what was the question?"

"I don't get this stuff." Haruno mumbled, pushing a book towards her without much conviction. Hinata watched her for a second before looking down at the book in question. Sakura and Ino were absolutely beautiful girls. There was pretty and cute which on her very confident days Hinata felt she might actually fall under. But then there was beautiful, the kind of beautiful that made you stop to stare no matter what your orientation was.

Usually a school was graced with only one such person as they were often rare and hard to find but, feeling more and more like a wall flower Hinata studied the English on the page before her, noting that with Sakura's beautiful hair and green eyes, Ino's brilliant blue gaze and blonde locks and Sasuke standing behind her like some sort of ad for men's underwear she was likely the only normal person in the vicinity besides the poor pimply teen boy to Sasuke's right.

Clearing her throat she pointed to the problem. "Perhaps if you had a handle on the verb conjugation it wouldn't be so difficult? I can see in some of the earlier problems that they were translated incorrectly. Remember in the back of your book are examples? Let's look at those."

"Okay." Sakura commented, glancing at her briefly from studying Sasuke. Hinata followed her gaze for a second.

Leaning down on the desk with the light of the sun coming through the windows he was something to be admired. She wasn't dead so it would have been pretty difficult to not see it. Everything about him was centered, the length of his forearms, the way his shoulder blades showed through his white dress shirt, the broadness of his shoulders and the way his body tapered at his hips. She followed the line of his jaw with her pale gaze, frowning a little before turning herself back to Ino and Sakura who had long lost their train of thought as they watched the light play with the hues of blue in their teacher's dark hair.

"Ladies." Hinata's voice had a sharper tone, unlike the soft feathery sound that usually escaped her lips the one word came out like a knife onto the chopping block. Startled the girls jumped back to her, missing the glance that Sasuke shot at them.

"Please." Hinata stated, and waited, looking at them with her lips pressed into a thin line.

Sakura and Ino's cheeks brightened to a pink sheen for a moment. Glad that they had at least the common sense to feel embarrassed Hinata pushed the book back to Sakura. "Please try to conjugate the rest of this page, I will check it over when you're done. Yamanaka-san, what are you struggling with?"

Stuttering a little in her surprise Ino scrambled to flip open her book, looking for the issues with her homework.

Behind her Sasuke studied Hinata's tense little shoulders with curious surprise.

* * *

 _...I've been so worried about Hinata-chan I didn't even know if I was going to get to write you a letter this month. She's been puking so much lately. I skipped work last week and this week twice because of how bad it got. At first we thought it was the flu but I'm taking her to the doctor tomorrow, it went away and now it's back._

 _I am so worried its something serious. She's lost weight already and honestly she can't afford to lose any more. Wish you were here to have a beer with me today. She's sleeping and I'm at home bored and would have appreciated a good "calm the fuck down, dobe" speech from you right now._

 _I wonder sometimes if you're feeling similar things to what I feel lately. Like if there's someone in your life that you look at with the same almost painful emotion I get with Hinata. Watching her throwing up and in such discomfort nearly drove me crazy these last couple of weeks. If you get this I hope you send us some good vibes._

 _Take care of yourself this new year, okay? I know how hard you had been hitting the liquor cabinet when you were still living here, and sometimes I am scared that the reason you never reply is that you drank yourself into some hole in the ground._

 _Prove me wrong, you stupid teme and come back._

 _Please come back._

 _-Naruto_

Sasuke stared at the page in his hand, sitting on the bar stool in his kitchen with the obento from Hinata in front of him. He had not had the heart to eat it at school, tucking it last minute into his bag on his way home although unsure of why.

Now, finding that his kitchen was as empty as usual he eyed it sitting innocently on his counter and popped it open again, frowning as the feeling he couldn't put a name to wiggled around in his chest, getting nice and comfortable even as it made him shudder.

"There." he murmured to himself. The first sign of a pregnancy. Quickly and before he could lose his nerve he ripped open the next letter, flipping through the pages until he found the squiggly excited capitals of Naruto's announcement.

 _...WE'RE HAVING A BABY!..._

 _...she's been so sick but I cannot believe it, I am both grinning all the time and worried all the time and I can't figure out which of these feelings is more dominant..._

 _...how the hell am I supposed to keep a tiny squishy human thing alive and safe? I mean, once they're out and about- and what if it's a girl, Sasuke? What the hell am I going to do if there's boys sniffing around my house. You have got to come back and help me with this. Or at least let me send them pictures of you glaring to make them back off when the time comes..._

 _...I think the baby should be born around February, Hinata doesn't care what we have, she's been starry eyed from the moment they told her at the hospital, despite the puking. I keep thinking I would love to have a boy first, because I'm going to need help keeping a girl out of trouble and with you MIA I'm going to need all the help I can get..._

 _...I so wish you were here to help us with the baby's room, it needs a lot of work and Hinata can't do a lot now, and I'm absolutely useless at this sort of stuff..._

Sighing Sasuke ripped into the next one, tossing the unread portions onto a pile to his right, grabbing a tomato with his chopsticks and popping it into his mouth as he began to read again.

 _...Not that you're particularly talkative or anything but still. Don't go telling anyone about this but I've never been more attracted to this woman, I swear. She's about double the size she was when I met her because there's another person in her body but oh my god. When she wakes up with her hair all messed up and sleepy I can't even keep myself from wanting to bite her. Actually bite her. You read that right. She's always so pink in the morning like she was blushing in her sleep, and with her big belly all full of life I just find it so hard to not kiss her all the time..._

Sasuke swallowed painfully, an image of Hinata in a bed with her hair messed up and warm flashing through his mind making him put his chopsticks down, pushing his palms into his eyes until it hurt to stare into the dark.

In his mind her cheeks were rosy from the warmth of the bed, her mouth soft and as she rubbed her face sleepily with one hand the loose neck of her shirt slipped off her shoulder, exposing the smooth moon of her pale skin.

Tossing the rest of the letters on the counter with something akin to panic he stood, grabbing his jacket and heading out the door in a hurry, his fingers finding his phone in his pocket with some trembling.

Dialing as he headed out the door with his shoes not even quite on his feet he listened, locking the apartment behind him as he went.

 _"Hello?"_ Kiba sounded surprised.

"Want to meet at the bar down town?"

 _"...it's Monday, isn't it kind of..."_

"I'm going with you or without you, just letting you know." Sasuke's voice shook at the end for a second and Kiba seemed to perk up right away.

" _Matte, matte, matte! I'll be there in like... fifteen. For god's sake don't start drowning in the booze before I get there. Christ."_ And he hung up, leaving Sasuke to walk rapidly out of his building with his hands clenching and unclenching in his pockets over and over again with each attempt to move the image replaying over and over in his mind.

* * *

"So?" Kiba inquired as he sat down on the bar stool next to him, ignoring the bar tender who tried to make eye contact instead looking for empty glasses around Sasuke's person and finding none, just one in his grip, filled halfway with something dark.

"Rum and coke." Sasuke replied as he stared at his drink. "Just the one so calm down."

Relaxing a little Kiba tossed his jacket onto the stool next to him. "What's the matter though? You haven't been to a bar in months."

"Those letters..." Sasuke began and paused. Kiba studied him suddenly with more interest. "Everything okay?"

"I can't read those letters."

"You don't have to." His friend frowned. "I figured you would want to, but you don't have to. It's not like you have to do penance or anything."

"Tch." Sasuke growled, downing nearly half his drink before responding. "I should have read them when he sent them. I should have been there, I should have at least sent him one asking him to stop. At least, but I..."

Kiba listened, arms crossed on the bar, eyes unfocused as he spoke.

"He's dead." Sasuke whispered, and the grip on his cup tightened until his knuckles turned white. Kiba eyed his fingers for a second and then sighed. "Yep. He's dead."

"Throw the letters out, Uchiha. They're not doing you any good. Look at you." He pointed at the rum. "You've been hitting the bottle so hard lately I was starting to think I would be held accountable for not reporting it to Principal Tsunade when something finally went wrong, do you know what I mean? Like I'm an accomplice or something. But these last few weeks you've pulled back hard and look at Hyuuga-san's reaction."

Wincing at the mention of Hinata Sasuke looked down at his drink, feeling the blood start to pass through his body a bit more rapidly. "If someone you've treated with such disdain right off the bat can see a difference in your behavior after two weeks of cutting back I wonder what kind of person you'd be with no booze in you at all."

He seemed to say it as a passing thought, almost a joke but Sasuke looked at him square on for a second until Kiba finally made eye contact, mildly unnerved. "What?"

"How long...have I been like this?" he whispered, and there was something so raw in his face that Kiba didn't even frown, sighing he looked back at the bartender, waving him over as the need for a drink overwhelmed him also.

"Dude, I don't think I've known you without a drink in hand or a hangover, which I think might be why I excuse so much of your bullshit behavior." He muttered, watching as his drink was poured.

Sasuke thought back, trying to remember when it had become a thing he did all day, every day? Since when did he count the hours between drinks?

When had he been unable to get up without the enticement of a sip of vodka or rum to help him get past his reflection in the mirror on the way out the door?

"You don't have to stay that way though." Kiba shrugged. "People change when they want to, Uchiha. You're no different. Do you want to?"

The obento box in his house was getting cold, but thankfully he had finished most of it before he had run out of the apartment. He would have hated to throw it out and somehow that made him more uncomfortable than receiving it.

Unable to answer Kiba he took another sip of his drink, eyeing it with sudden distaste.

"Its not easy." Kiba continued despite his lack of response. "But if there's one thing I know about you, Uchiha, is that if it's hard you find some weird masochistic pleasure in doing it."

Sasuke smirked suddenly. "Hn."

* * *

She had been driving him up a wall all week long. Tiredly he restrained himself from sighing when Sakura approached his desk despite the rest of the class happily heading out the door in a hurry, yapping at each other about their weekend plans.

"Sensei?" She inquired, cocking her body to the right gently so as to peek at his face despite the utmost effort he was putting into not looking at her. Hands fiddling with the papers on his desk he focused on arranging them neatly into his bag.

"Hai?"

"I know... I know we've spoken several times about you tutoring me..." Sakura began slowly watching with a rising flush to her cheeks as Sasuke sighed loudly and finally turned his dark eyes on her.

"I know you said you couldn't, because of school policy but, I'm really struggling lately, with my English lessons and, my parents were talking about sending me overseas for summer vacation. Is there any way...um, that I could maybe have extra time with you after school or at lunch hour?"

In theory her request was innocent, and with her big green eyes watching his every expression he wondered that she had not got herself an official reprimand from the school. But, knowing Tsunade, she probably thought it was his fault that she kept coming back at him like this, trying to figure out times to get him alone.

"Haruno-san." He shook his head. "We've been over this. I don't do private lessons. For anyone."

Sakura nodded, biting her lips hard and adjusting the skirt of her uniform with trembling fingers. "Right. Sorry, Uchiha-sensei." she paused. "I just...hoped..." she stopped, glancing up at him to see his eyes trained on her, unreadable in their darkness.

Why was he always so hard to understand? The way he studied her she sometimes thought there was curiosity or interest or something flitting through his mind, but then he would look away and there was nothing but dark slate in his gaze. It was driving her crazy, looking at him every day and thinking about him all the time. His refusals had been so consistent from the beginning that even Ino was starting to let this go, but for Sakura this was something else.

Once, in the hall someone had shoved her so hard by accident she had gone to fall, leaning against the railing at the top of the stairs it would have ended up in a broken leg of worse, but his arms had been there to steady her, and she had breathed in the scent of his cologne. The brush of his hair against her face as he steadied her and straightened had made her heart snap to a rhythm she had never known.

"Careful." he had said, so softly it had made her shudder. All she wanted was to have him touch her as confidently as he had that day. She knew it was starting to become obvious not just to him but to the other teachers that she stared too long but her train of thought was always so easily distracted in his presence.

It wasn't her fault, she tried. It would have been easier for her to have a normal crush on a boy instead of this man.

 _Barely a man though_ , Sakura mused, watching his eyes softened for a second on her face. _He's just barely older than we are._

"Haruno-san, sit down." He sighed, motioning to the desk behind her. Surprised, Sakura took a seat, watching him walk around his own desk to lean against it. Unbeknownst to him the act of rolling up his shirt sleeves and exposing the muscle of his forearms made her bite her lip hard. Tiredly he rubbed his neck for a second.

"There are rules in place for a reason. I know that you are finding it hard to hear no so consistently." He began watching as her eyes widened and her cheeks began to flame. "However, perhaps if you paused to consider the reasons behind those rules you might be able to understand a little more of what I'm- what your senseis- are all trying to say when we enforce those rules."

Swallowing hard Sakura looked down at the table top in front of her, clenching her hands tightly in her lap.

"...I know...why the rules are in place...demo..."

Sasuke sighed and shook his head. "There's nothing else but those rules, and perhaps..." he paused, wondering if he was overstepping but deciding to take a chance he bit his lip. "Perhaps you wouldn't be so interested...if I was the kind of sensei that would disregard those rules. Rules that were put in place to protect you."

Sakura's eyes had filled with tears, her throat felt thick and fingers tightening into fists she nodded.

"May I be excused please?"

"Of course."

Quickly she shot up, pushing out of the desk and out the door only to freeze at the sight of Hinata blinking at her in surprise in the hall.

"H..haruno-san..." Hinata began, startled.

"Excuse me, Hyuuga-sensei." Sakura's voice wobbled and as she blinked rapidly her green eyes overflowed with tears. Before Hinata could say anything else she ran, skipping down the stairs at the end of the hall two steps at a time.

Hinata stared after her, eyes wide before turning to Sasuke who was studying her quietly, hands in his pockets as he waited.

"...she...she seemed very upset." Hinata murmured finally, stepping inside.

"Hn." Sasuke sighed, walking back to his desk slowly. In the stillness of the empty classroom with the weak setting sun blazing through the windows the different shades of violet in her hair brightened into a myriad of different blacks. Tearing his eyes from her he began the work of putting his marking into his bag again.

"I came to drop off these quizzes, for tomorrow's class." Hinata tapped the paper in her hands lightly and placed them on his desk. "I...won't be here tomorrow, it's my day off, so if there's anything you'd like me to do...?" Trying not to remember too clearly the last time they had had this discussion she turned away to stare at the sun sinking between the far off hills.

Sasuke nodded. "I don't think I need anything actually. With this term coming to an end there's just their main project due and then they're off on vacation."

"Right." Hinata turned, heading towards the door again. "Well... I'll see you next week, Uchiha-san."

"I have your bento box." He called suddenly making her pause. Hinata turned, surprise lighting her face along with the heat of the dusk. "Oh!"

"...thank you, for that." He pulled the fabric covered container out of his bag, handing it to her with a severe tightening of his chest.

Feeling her face suddenly heat up Hinata nodded. "No, ano... I'm glad you... that is..."

"Why did you not tell me about the kids?"

He was almost as startled as she was. Since the medicine incident neither of them had really said much to the other, politely moving around each other with a different confused kind of tension than the previous one. Hinata had hoped that the subject would be dropped and that maybe there was some semblance of humanity in the horrid man which would explain his sudden lack of antagonism towards her.

Biting her lip again she hoped she was right.

"...N...Naruto did." she briefly whispered, watching his face register her words with an emotion she couldn't name. "I didn't think you wanted to hear about them from me if you didn't want to hear about them from him."

Jaw clenching Sasuke turned away, continuing with his papers slowly.

"I had not read any of the letters." He murmured.

Hinata blinked. _Had not? You're reading them now?_

"I figured t-that."

"I think..." Sasuke began slowly, unsure of where he was going at the start of the sentence."There may be some letters that you may want."

Heart pounding suddenly in her chest Hinata tried to read his face but turned away from the sun coming in through the windows his features were shadowed. "You still have them all?" it was a rhetorical question, watching as he stopped moving, his hands tightening on the desk edge she knew.

"Hai... I have them. I just never-"

"Demo, you kept them." Hinata took a step towards him that surprised her. Reading words Naruto had penned would kill her, and yet the torture was too tempting to pass up.

Finally turning to look at her Sasuke stared, watching as trepidation left her face at the idea of reading thoughts penned by her loved on. She stared with blatant disregard into his face, her hands tight in front of her, reminding him for a second of Sakura a moment earlier, desperate.

"Yes, I have them. I can bring some on Friday." he conceded slowly, studying her face as she realized her proximity. Abruptly the lack of self awareness vanished and stumbled back, rubbing her arm nervously.

"A...arigato, Uchiha-san."

Quickly she turned towards the door, heading out with her hands grasping the bento box tightly, pausing at the threshold she turned, peeking around the curve of the door frame.

"Ano..."

Sasuke looked up at her again, startled to see the paleness of her eyes turn a brilliant gold in the light of the sun, her skin pearly and white, and contrasting sharply with the darkness of her hair she seemed ethereal, searching his face with a shy unsure smile. "I...I think you did great...with Haruno-san... you were clear and professional and k-kind... if you need someone to validate your story...I..." she paused and Sasuke nodded.

"Bye." she closed the door and at its closing Sasuke let his shoulders droop, feeling tension he didn't fully understand loosen across his back.

* * *

 ** _leave me some love, ne?_**

 ** _Inky_**


	7. Chapter 7

_**A.N**_

 _ **To Anon3:**_

 _ **I don't know how to thank you for your review. I read it a couple of times a few minutes after you left it and I was so blind sided by the idea that I was able to make someone feel enough to make them cry that I kind of panicked! I've since calmed down a bit but I am still flabbergasted that anything I say could have the kind of impact you described. I appreciate that you've shared it with me and I hope that as the story continues I let the story do it's thing through me as it has been and not taint it as it goes. Thank you**_

 _ **To: Kiss2Lips**_

 _ **In the last chapter Sasuke was having a conversation with Sakura about her liking him without saying it outright. She was aware that he was referring to her having a crush on him and he was aware she knew what he was doing. Essentially he was saying "Maybe you wouldn't like me so much if I was the kind of guy who would take advantage of a student." Because that's why the rules are in place, to keep students safe from people in authority (teachers) who may prey on those who they have authority over (students).**_

 _ **I hope that explains it a little better. I have just read over it and I see how it was difficult to fully grasp what was being said. I am thinking hard about how I can rewrite that portion to be more clear without Sasuke full on saying what I just quoted above. I don't think he would feel comfortable to just say that. But I don't know maybe I'm wrong? What do you think?**_

 _ **I am heading into some stuff in this fic that I know is going to be difficult for me to write for some rather personal reasons. I'm staring at the next couple chapters with the same feeling you get when you're looking at the edge of a cliff before jumping. That may seem like an exaggeration but up until the last chapter the story was flowing nicely and I was getting out of the way for it to do it's thing. (sometimes I felt a little like I got drop kicked out of the way by the story but whatever). I hope that the quality of my writing doesn't suffer as I wrestle with the issues in the next few chapters.**_

 _ **I do hope that the story continues it's aggressive flow. I know where it is going but to say that this is pleasurable to me is an understatement. I haven't written like this in so long it feels kind of like taking a really cold drink on a day you feel you're dying for water from the heat.**_

 _ **Thank you for reading, reviewing and being a generally lovely bunch of people. Except for you- yeah you- I may like you around despite your attitude but you decidedly don't belong in the lovely bunch category. It's okay though, cuz I'm still grinning every time I see your "reviews". Picture the Cheshire Cat, that's my grin at you right now. Meow.**_

 _ **Much love,**_

 _ **Inky**_

 _ **PS. It may seem strange, but I am noticing that everyone is falling in love with the notes Naruto left behind. I found this astounding at first but I think that I would like to share with you all that my plot outlines, my notes, my research are all pretty thorough for this story. Literally the only part that is raw and completely unplanned is the letters. There's literally one word in my plot outlines that denotes their possible placement and around all the details I know I need to hit in everything else the word stands out naked by itself just "Note".**_

* * *

When the snow started she didn't even notice. Around her the flakes fell thick and slow, catching the wind as they drifted, moving through the coolness like fat feathers on the breeze. The trees cloaked their bare naked branches in the white dusting, and the silence began to grow as the snow flakes blanketed everything in their purity, muffling the sounds, even those of her crying.

She had never been a loud crier, something that Naruto had often complained about.

 _"I wish I could hear you, Hina-chan. I wish I could hear your sad, so I could come to you sooner. Please, call to me."_

Silently Hinata stared at the papers in her hands, studying first the script she had not realized she had missed seeing. Haphazard and slanted Naruto had scribbled Sasuke's name on each envelope with care, making sure to do so clearly albeit not particularly pretty. Her old address glittered on the sticker on the other corner. She had had those made for him when they got engaged. The sticker was shaped like a leaf, in it was his name and their address.

He had been excited at the gift, and then chastised her. _"Why doesn't it say Mr and Mrs. Uzumaki on there?"_

She had glowed red as she pressed his forehead to hers, breathing in the soft smell of her hair, feeling the heat of her blush on his skin.

 _"Can you say it for me?"_

 _"N...nani?"_

 _"I am Mrs. Uzumaki."_

 _"...ok...I... I am..."_

 _"Mrs. Uzumaki."_ his words had been breathless, anticipation coating the name and making her more rosy.

 _"I am Mrs. Uzumaki."_

The heat had made her ears burn and eyes clenched shut tight against the feeling she had not seen his kiss coming, the hunger with which he pressed her to him pushing the air out of her lungs with a deep sigh.

 _"My Mrs. Uzumaki."_ he had whispered into her ear, nibbling the lobe delicately. _"Mine."_

Swallowing hard Hinata pried the pages of the letter apart, studying the date carefully with pale liquid filled eyes.

"February 25th." She blinked, surprised. This was days after Haku's birthday.

 _Sasuke-teme,_

 _You're an uncle._

 _Now, don't take it into your head that you have to rush back or anything, it's not like I want to see you, stupid jerk. But you missed it. You missed the terrifying day when I became a dad._

 _I don't know how women do it, Sasuke. I don't know. If you're with someone, I'm telling you now, start paying up for the gift they give you when they give birth. I don't know how to understand it. Think about it, they become a portal, a passage for another being to come through into your life- they do this for us, for the little squishy human with our DNA crawling through it._

 _I can't express to you how scared I was._

 _She started crying in the night. She said it was just fake contractions. But I knew better, or maybe I was just more terrified than she was. They didn't stop like they had been doing the last few weeks and all of a sudden she was looking less and less at me and more at some faraway place in the distance. Sometimes when the pain was bad she seemed to leave me, and all I could do was grip her hand as hard as she was holding mine._

 _Haku was born at 3 in the morning on February 20th. He weighed in at an astounding 6 pounds 8 ounces. I can hold him with his head in my palm and his feet tucked into the crook of my arm. He looks like the softest petals on a flower, I'm not poetic but that's what his tiny cheeks look like. Seriously._

 _Hinata was unsure at first of what you would think, because it's been a few years since I've heard from you and she was concerned that perhaps you would be offended but I'm pretty sure that you would be an idiot if you were offended, and we both know you're not an idiot, you're a teme sure but you're no idiot._

 _So I named him Haku Sasuke Uzumaki. I hope you feel like crap, and when you read this, if you haven't already come to see him then get your ass over here. I can't really write as long as I would like what with being a parent and all. And you would probably get sick of descriptions of my baby and the amazing awe inspiring thing that is my wife, so I'll just leave you with the knowledge that I am extremely, supremely happy, but as per usual, missing you._

 _-Naruto_

Tears blurred the page for a second before dropping onto the ink and startled Hinata tried to wipe them away, her cold fingers trembling as she dabbed at the paper with the end of her scarf.

"Here."

Startled she jumped, turning to look at Sasuke watching her passively, his hand extended to her with a tissue between his fingers.

Blinking Hinata sniffed and took the paper in her hands. "T-thanks."

Slowly the Uchiha sat down beside her on the school steps, hands pressed firmly into the pockets of his coat.

"You named him Haku Sasuke." He whispered, noting the letter she had in her hands. Hinata swallowed hard, looking down at the paper like it was the holy grail. "Hai... we did... Naruto had decided on Sasuke for his first born son before you stopped talking to him." She bit her lip, feeling a jab of dislike at the fact that someone would ever reject the person who brought so much joy into her life.

Sasuke was feeling the jab a thousand times worse, his insides squirmed with displeasure and letting out a long puff of air into the freezing atmosphere he sighed.

"I miss him." Hinata whispered, surprised that she allowed the words to come out. "Haku... he stares at me sometimes and I see him, I see Naruto and I..." she paused leaning down to press her forehead to her knees hard.

Sasuke watched, searching the long strands of her silk hair for her gaze.

"I miss him too." He admitted suddenly, watching her turn sharply to look at him, her eyes tangled among the ink spill of her black hair. Slowly she sat up, face searching his with confusion.

"Demo... you..."

"I know it doesn't make sense." He muttered, turning away to stare at the icy landscape of the school grounds. "I thought I would eventually get a chance to go back, I guess."

Pale eyes stared dazedly into his face, momentarily unaware of her usual shyness. "Things never work out quite how we hope."

"No." He shook his head. "Never."

Realizing suddenly that it had begun to snow Hinata shivered. "I have to get to the kids daycare. They're going to want to play outside before we get home." Slowly she untangled herself from the mess of grief restraining her limbs and stood.

Sasuke followed suit, watching her rearrange her scarf around herself carefully.

"What are you planning on doing for Christmas?" He murmured. "It's a bit different here than it is back home."

Hinata blinked at him as she pulled her bag to the side to slide the letter into a pocket. "I haven't decided." She winced slightly. "It's the first Christmas for the kids after..."

Sasuke nodded. "Will you go back home?"

Eyes widening Hinata shook her head slowly just one turn from right to left. "No..." her hand pressed to her chest above her heart for a second as though soothing a wound. "No, I...I can't."

Puzzled but unable to ask anymore Sasuke nodded.

"Arigato, Uchiha-san." Hinata sighed, looking down.

"I have more." he murmured, although unwilling to admit how many more letters lay sprawled all over his apartment. Hinata nodded. "I think... I think I will just...look at this one for now, if you don't mind keeping the others for the time being?" for a second she felt her chin wobble and her eyes prick with tears. Biting her lip to keep herself steady she smiled with force, making Sasuke's chest ache. "Is that okay?"

"Of course."

"A-arigato." Turning she stepped out into the cushioned cotton cloud landscape, looking over her shoulder briefly to wave at him before starting out the school gates. Even from a few steps away though Sasuke could see the tears glittering on her cheeks in the dim winter sun, making her sparkle as though drenched in diamonds.

* * *

"What was it you gave Hyuuga-san earlier today?" Kiba inquired lazily beside him. The crunch of their feet over the snow harmonized with the puffs of breath that escaped their mouths as they walked.

Sasuke thought for a moment, biting the inside of his cheek before admitting softly. "I knew her husband."

Kiba kept his eyes straight ahead, training his surprise into calm non nonchalance. "Oh?"

"You know those...letters?"

At this Kiba stopped walking, looking at him as he rubbed his left eye roughly. "Wait."

"Hyuuga is her maiden name."

"Wait, wait."

"Our town is pretty small so..."

"Ugh." Kiba sighed, lifting a hand up to stop his chatter. Something that had not really ever happened to Sasuke before. A bit ruffled at the feathers he waited, eyeing Kiba silently.

"You... you grew up with her."

"Not exactly, we lived in the same town."

"But you'd met her before?"

Sasuke thought back, trying to remember the first time he had ever seen the pale gray eyes of the Hyuuga family before. Frowning he shook his head. "Yes, I suppose. We went to school together, along with-"

"Naruto Uzumaki, the guy writing the letters."

"The guy who wrote them. Yes." Sasuke waited on the sidewalk as Kiba digested this new information slowly, looking out into the playground of the park they were walking beside.

"So, you've known her all along and..."

"Not the way you're insinuating." Sasuke grumbled. "I knew of her, she's... I recognized her, anyway."

"She recognized you?"

Sasuke blinked, remembering the wide eyed expression on her face as she caught sight of him on the stairs the first day of September term.

 _"S-s-sasuke-kun?"_

"I guess so."

"That's how you found out." Kiba blinked at him, something akin to sympathy flashing over his face. "About your friend."

Irritated by the expression on his features Sasuke turned away and began to walk again, not caring if he followed or not. "Yes. That's how I found out."

"She still wears the wedding ring. I definitely thought she was still married."

"She has kids, she kind of is." Sasuke shrugged. "At least for a while anyway."

"She has kids?" Kiba started. "I am finding all new things today. And you didn't care to share this with me sooner why?"

Growling Sasuke sped up his pace making Kiba stop again.

"Hey!" He shouted, picking up a handful of snow and chucking it at his shoulder. The whiteness splattered over his back as it exploded and Sauke stopped, looking at him like had gone mental. "What is wrong with you?"

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"Because it wasn't... I didn't... " he mouthed like a fish for a moment, more irritated with himself in that moment than the childish man before him. "I don't know, it didn't... it didn't feel right."

"Feel right?" Kiba let out a humorless laugh. "You don't feel, you're an Uchiha."

"Shut up." Sasuke shook his head at him, starting away again, although he was feeling a little less annoyed than a few moments prior.

Slowly Kiba began to walk after him, shaking the snow off his fingers from flinging the snowball at his back.

"But hey, now she's free to start fangirling all over you right?" he teased, making Sasuke wince, thankful that he wasn't looking at him closely.

"Well, since you know her and somehow you managed to smooth things over considering your monumental mess up of a start with her- Tsunade has asked me for a favor and if we both comply I think it might win you brownie points." Kiba continued unaffected by Sasuke's silence.

"A favor?" Already Sasuke was dreading the next words coming out of Inuzuka's mouth.

"Hai! So you know how you made all those Assistant Language Teachers quit earlier this year."

"All? There was only three."

"Yeah, so all those teachers." Unperturbed Kiba stepped up beside him again. "She's worried Hinata is looking a little unhappy lately, although now that you tell me she's a widow it kind of makes sense. But since she just moved here from wherever you're both from Tsunade is worried she's having trouble adjusting to living so far from home. She wanted me to ask her to join me and friends for some outings, like the year end festival."

Sasuke made a face that was more expressive than anything he could have said.

"Don't look so irritable." Kiba grumbled. "It's not that bad... I mean if she has kids she may say no, but at least we tried no?"

"I think Christmas..." Sasuke began, and hesitated, watching as his friend's face pricked with interest at him. "What about Christmas?"

Still feeling distinctly unsure of the next words coming out of his mouth Sasuke continued, restraining his face from doing anything that would betray any of the trepidation he felt.

"I know it's a big deal back home, especially for people with kids, and now she's here without family, and two kids, and without.." He drifted off, letting Kiba's eyes widen.

"Shit." He mused, "Guess we're gonna have to go over there then, eh?"

Blinking Sasuke stopped walking to stare at him this time, causing Kiba to look questioningly at him. "What?"

"You can't just invite yourself over." He shook his head. "That's not how-"

"Sure we can." Kiba shrugged. "Trust me."

Sasuke hesitated for a moment, the No wanting to pop out of his mouth getting caught on his adam's apple.

"Fine." he conceded instead.

"Do you think they have yukata for the End of Year Festival?" His friend continued, trying not to look too surprised by Sasuke's unusual agreement with his unorthodox plans to usurp the Hyuuga Christmas.

Blinking Sasuke shook his head. "No... why would they, they just got here."

"Hm." was all Kiba said. "Just wondering."

Thoughtfully Sasuke caught up to him, puzzled at how that conversation had gone.

* * *

 _...Haku is starting to have some words to throw at me. I'm a little proud to say that his first word was actually stop. I know most parents are all excited to hear the mama and dada thing, but the fact that he glared at me with such disdain at my tickling him and just flipped me the baby finger by telling me to quit made me laugh out loud. I thought for a second he was channeling you. He's a quiet guy. Hinata was a lot like him, she tells me. I can see it. She doesn't feel comfortable with people all that easily._

 _He's walking around a lot, which surprised me. I don't know why but I had it in my head that babies didn't start getting personalities and walking around like tiny little people until about two but he's only a year and a half and although he's only got a few words they're clear as day. Sometimes he watches us with these knowing looks on his face and Hinata laughs. She said once that it was probably because we named him after you, some of that genius had to rub off._

 _It bugs her that I sit here and write you letters, I think because I get a little glum after I do it, but I talk to her about you and I think she understands then, because I have almost all good memories of you Sasuke. I wonder if you've forgotten all of them by now._

 _It's a couple months late because Hinata doesn't ever want to jinx a pregnancy but we found out were expecting again and I have that feeling that it's going to be a girl. Teme, I'm so scared. I look at Hinata and the way her body moves, the way she smells the way she is and the idea of having my daughter resemble her mother makes me sweat. How the hell am I gonna keep something so beautiful safe?_

 _I may have been half joking last time I mentioned that fear to you before but in all seriousness Sasuke, being a dad is terrifying. Haku, he's watching everything I do, he's listening to everything I say. What if I screw this little person up before he has a chance to get this walking thing figured out?_

 _I hope you're doing well, wherever you are. I hope that maybe you've figured out some of this shit so if you ever decide to come knocking that I can get some tips because I'm floundering a little._

 _In the day to day crap I feel like I'm doing okay... I feel like I might pass out from changing diapers sometimes, don't get me wrong but when it comes to being part of Haku's world it's not so bad you know?_

 _But when I think about the future, about his graduation, about his marriage, about his children I freak out. He's going to go into life with the tools I give him._

 _I wish you were here to balance it out for him, you always had a much more level head on than I did. You know, until you took off like a jerk and didn't come back._

 _I'm missing you a lot lately, sometimes I see Haku do something and all I want to do is show you._

 _where the hell are you, Sasuke?_

Biting his cheek Sasuke pressed the letter to the counter in his kitchen, his hands felt cold. Truth be told his apartment was freezing. He was sure the people above him were wondering why there was nothing but chill coming up from their floors, but he hadn't bothered to turn the heat on yet that year and he figured maybe he would sleep deeper if the room was freezing and he cocooned properly in his bed each night, trying desperately not to think about gin and tonic or tequila and lime.

"Like I have anything figured out." Sasuke muttered darkly, staring at the letter a moment longer before tossing it on the read pile and moving on to another one.

Long ago he had stopped reading them in order, finding it more interesting to find things out in surprising bursts. Like a jack in the box sometimes the letters had bits of life that he had not expected. The last moment of surprise had been Naruto's letter about his anniversary.

In it he had described Hinata's dress, and the way her lips had looked after he'd kissed her, the way they had been bruised and soft from the attack he had leveled on her in his hunger. It wasn't often, but when Naruto delved into the topic of his wife Sasuke found himself unable to finish the letter, tossing it and feeling the jittery energy in his body that signified his desire for a drink.

After a few instances where wrestling with his thirst had nearly defeated him he had found the answer in working out, throwing himself to the floor in push ups or sit ups, listening to the pounding of his heart race, because of his breath, because of his body moving, and for no other reason. Nothing else.

Although he had always kept up with some semblance of a work out despite his drinking, the last few months had taken a toll on even that. Finally finding himself able to move and breathe hard, feel the sweat gliding down the side of his face, it had been satisfying, and distracting. Both good things to have when you're staving off crippling depression.

Slowly Sasuke opened another letter, studying the writing with curiosity.

December 15th.

Sasuke blinked. A year ago, today.

Ignoring the feeling of dislike hovering over his head he peeled back the pages.

 _Hey Sasuke,_

 _It's a week before Christmas. I always have a hard time writing you during the holidays. Yesterday we had a dinner party with a bunch of friends and Hinata's family. The house was so bright and warm. It was freezing outside. We have had so much snow this year. I'm worried about the flats flooding considering we live here in the summer, but I guess we will just have to pray that doesn't happen._

 _I hope you're doing okay. This never replying to me thing is getting old, and Hinata got upset with me today in a way I never thought she would over me writing this. We don't scream, so it wasn't ugly like that, but she never put into words how she felt and today she told me it seemed to her that with every letter I was giving you and opportunity to reject me._

 _I guess I am._

 _I can't even remember how many of these damn things I've sent you. All I know is they're not being mailed back so, for sure someone is receiving them. I hope at least if it's not you that they aren't ending up in some recycling bags because that would genuinely piss me off. Not that I'll ever know._

 _Why aren't you replying though? I mean, damn Sasuke, it's been years._

 _I hope you're okay._

 _Haku is turning four this February. I cannot believe I just wrote that. Haku is almost four. I can't believe he doesn't know you. It boggles my mind. I can't figure out what to get him for his birthday. Hinata always figures out presents for Christmas. She's good at gifts, always has been, so I don't often do much for birthdays and stuff but this being his fourth birthday I'm freaking out._

 _I always wanted to get my kid something amazing for milestone birthdays, the big ones you know. Five, ten, fifteen, and that glorious moment when you get to have your first beer without looking for a cop over your shoulder, ya know?_

 _But I have to admit I feel like his fourth birthday snuck up on me and now I'm freaking out about the fifth. He's not even four yet and I'm already panicking._

 _I've been thinking of getting him a tool kit. A real one none of the plastic kid crap. He's pretty good with the ones I have but they're too heavy so I've been looking around to see if I can find smaller ones so he can take shit apart. He went at the old radio I had when I threw it in the recycling and actually managed to get the backing off before I knew what he was up to._

 _You'd know exactly what I was talking about. Hinata looked worried about it being dangerous and stuff but kids find dangerous things the most fun, you know? And he could help me figure out stuff around the house. Honestly I think that he would probably be teaching me some things too, he's got his mom's ability in that I'm completely hopeless and materials and tools actually make sense to him._

 _Fuck, I can't keep writing this. You should be here. You just disappeared and that was a dick move and I hate that Hinata gets so upset about these damn letters but I can't stop writing because if you get this I really need you to call me._

 _I won't even punch you when I see you. Okay, maybe that's too unlikely a thing for me to promise but beating the shit out of each other would be better than this black hole you've gone to._

 _Hinata is prepping Christmas dinner today, it's a process to get it done and she always spends inordinate amounts of time on it. I think because she enjoys it. Sometimes I'm astounded that I got both a good cook and a hottie for a wife. Usually they're one or the other. I sometimes want to ask her to make something you'd like, just in case..._

 _Wish you would surprise me one day_

 _-Naruto_

Sasuke closed the letter. It had been significantly shorter than most. Sometimes three or four pages would spill out of an envelope, rarely was it only one.

 _...I hate that Hinata gets so upset about these damn letters..._

Rubbing his face Sasuke stood. It was strange, knowing exactly how his friend had felt, being the cause of it now and being the cause of it then. Hinata's tear filled gaze had haunted him on his way home, and now glancing out the window it was still clinging to the edges of his mind, sparkling with the winter sun light through her sadness.

"I gotta get out of here." he murmured. He had already finished the half bottle of rum in his cupboard, slowly over the span of several hours and three drinks later. But his fingers were twitching for more, and as per usual he was attempting to keep his head. It may be Friday but there was one more week of school before the winter break and he couldn't afford to call in sick.

Hinata couldn't handle him calling in sick.

 _Shit._ Shaking the thought from his head he shoved his arms into his coat and headed out the door, astounded that the place he called home was now terrifying, often making him rush into the chaos of the streets to avoid the palenes of the letters that haunted him in the darkness.

Out on the sidewalk he began to walk, picking a direction at random, just so long as it wasn't towards liquor stores he knew about.

He had pissed him off. It was making the already tight muscle of his stomach contract painfully to be in the bad books of someone dead. Usually he wouldn't really give a damn about irritating someone, but the whole last letter had left a bad taste in his mouth. Naruto had been upset. Even with his usual teasing tones in his words there had been a wounded sound he had resonate in his head with each sentence.

He had strained his relationship with his wife, to write him, to keep up the hope that he would one day reply.

Sighing Sasuke looked around at the shops that were blazing with Christmas lights, their spastic flickers making multicolored patterns all over his face.

He hated owing people, hated the feeling that he would be called upon to be something to someone at any moment because of something he had done. Hinata he owed already because of all the times she had taken his classes while he drank himself into a stupor. Naruto...Naruto he owed...

Christmas decorations covered the walls of the booths at the market, and surprised to find himself walking through the chaos of people chatting loudly and vendors selling foods and wares he paused, finally looking at where he was.

Although Christmas was less of a holiday in Japan than it was back home there was certainly the market places to confuse people. Couples wandered hand in hand through the cool evening air, their breath lighting up their faces with fog, cheeks and noses rosy as they buried into their scarfs.

The booths offered trinkets, hand made toys and Christmas tree ornaments and lights. Treats made the cool air smell sweet as they fried and were coated in powdered sugar that puffed up in clouds as he passed.

Hands in his pockets he walked slowly, seeing and not seeing everything around him until something caught his eye. The booth was smack dab between two loudly decorated Christmas ornament vendors, and so it seemed more muted in it's display. An older lady sat behind the table, reading a magazine casually, uninterested in her potential customers.

Sasuke stared up at the wares, his eyes trained on the tiny baby kimono up above on the booth wall.

"What can I help you with?" The woman asked gently, following the trail of his eyes to the miniature suits.

For a moment he paused, staring at the little articles of clothing, trying to picture Haku and Sora in the brief moments he had been in their presence.

"I think, I will take those two..." he hesitated, his eyes lingering on the pale purple kimono to the woman's right. In his mind Hinata's hair played with the lavender fibers, her small hands peeked from the sleeves. Hands tightening he nodded at it, before he could change his mind.

"And that one."

* * *

"It's so cold." Hinata whispered, sitting next to Kiba in the teachers lounge with her hands between her knees to get the tips to thaw. "I can't feel my fingers." She paused. "Or my toes."

Kiba smiled at her broadly, watching her tiny curled up shape in her chair, black hair a curtain around her shoulders.

"The heat being off is definitely not helping." He muttered, glancing at the workers down at the end of the room busily trying to figure out what had happened. "At least the classrooms are warm." He added.

Hinata sighed. "But full of children."

A short laugh escaped Kiba, and she blinked then smiled slightly. "I said that out loud." she murmured, and his laughter rose again.

The door to the lounge opened suddenly and a storm cloud walked in, lightening bolts and thunder and all.

"Good morning, Uchiha-san." Kiba sang, Sasuke glared at him for a moment, glancing only briefly at Hinata sitting stiff and cold in the chair to his right.

"Morning."

"Uchiha-san has this allergy..." Kiba began to explain in an exaggerated whisper voice to Hinata, one hand raised to his mouth as though blocking Sasuke from reading his lips. "...to sunlight. So mornings are rough for him. It's the vampire thing."

Brightening with a blush she couldn't control Hinata pressed her lips together firmly to keep from grinning,

"Please." Sasuke muttered darkly, flinging his bag onto his desk with force. "Be quiet."

"I should." Kiba admitted, turning to Hinata. "Or he may feast on my blood."

"Tch." Sasuke grumbled, and more quietly. "I don't eat junk food."

Surprise bloomed on both Kiba and Hinata's faces for a moment. "Well damn." Kiba finally laughed. "Who are you and what did you do with Uchiha-san?"

"Uchiha-san!"

Startled the three turned to look over at Tsunade-san walking quickly towards them. It seemed that the principal of the school rarely had the chance to walk at a normal pace.

"I need to have a word with you, in my office please."

Suddenly less cheery than before Kiba and Sasuke glanced at each other, Hinata watched them blinking rapidly. "Of course, Tsunade-san. I will be right there."

"Good morning." Tsunade called to the others, waving a hand as she walked by and into her office, leaving the door open for Sasuke to follow, closing it abruptly as he walked through.

"Eek." Kiba ventured, glancing at Hinata who blinked at the door with both curiosity and trepidation.

* * *

He was subdued in a way she had not seen him be before, and she was surprised to be worried. Watching him out of the corner of her eye she noted that the slight frown had not faded from his face from the moment he stepped out of the principals office. His tone with Kiba and Hinata had not changed but, with Tsunade wandering around the teachers lounge he had not elaborated on his meeting.

Kiba kept glancing at him with eyebrows raised, questioning, only to receive short furtive shakes of his head in reply.

Now in class Hinata pondered, watching the students start to divide to get their projects together before handing them in. Slowly walking up to his desk she twisted her hands together tightly, glad that they were at least less numb than previously.

"Uchiha-san?"

"Hn?" he didn't look up, setting out the bins for the students to place their finished work.

"...a..no...is everything okay?"

Perhaps it was the surprise at her question that made him do it. Leaning on the desk he glanced up, and as he did a student passed behind her, making her lean forward to avoid being pushed, glancing back at him and finding his face inches from hers, dark eyes penetrating. He smelled nice, something masculine and clean and interesting.

Startled by the proximity and intensity of his stare Hinata's face flared with color and she leaned back quickly, taking a step from the desk to make more room between herself and his calm thoughtful gaze.

"...yes." He replied, and then paused, letting his head hang in defeat. "No."

Trying to calm the heat in her face with deep slow breaths Hinata started. "Oh no.."

"Tsunade has had a report from a parent, about my behavior with Haruno-san." His eyes flickered to the pink haired girl at the back of the class who was buried in her books, attempting to avoid making eye contact with anything at the front if at all possible. Hinata glanced back, biting her lip.

"Demo... you have been nothing but firm with her. I've seen it." she replied, surprise lighting her face as she turned back to him. Sasuke smirked at her slightly. "Tsunade-san has her doubts. It's been a long haul for her dealing with this stuff." He shrugged. "I don't blame her, although it is...irritating."

"Perhaps I can speak to her."

Sasuke looked up at her again, feeling distinctly that this day was going to be full of surprises. "Nani?"

"I could speak to her. I have been in the room consistently when the girls have been inappropriate." Hinata replied calmly, puzzled by the confusion on his face.

"I suppose..." he began slowly and then blinked, listening to the sudden sound of a phone ringing. Startled Hinata turned to her purse, staring at it with growing panic. "My...my phone."

Watching her confusedly freeze as she looked at it Sasuke moved around the desk, picking her ringing purse up and extending it to her. "Hyuuga-san, perhaps..." he began, watching some of the kids glance at them curiously.

Pale Hinata reached into the purse he held as though she were putting her arm into the mouth of a lion.

"No one calls me." she whispered softly. "Everyone I know is here. Everyone except..."

Suddenly understanding her panic Sasuke took the phone, answering the call before she could do anything about it.

"Hello?"

"Oh... uh, may I speak to Hyuuga-san? This is director Inamura from Chibi Cheek Preschool. It's kind of an emergency."

Without another word Sasuke handed the phone to her, watching intently as she pressed the cell to her ear. "Hello? Inamura-san?"

The voice on the phone continued, and Sasuke found himself putting a hand on her elbow to steady her as the rest of the blood left on her face drained.

"Hai... yes... I will be there right away. Thank you."

Hanging up she picked up her purse, heading towards the door in rapid steps. Sasuke followed, glancing back at his class for only a second before closing the door behind him. Hinata was nearly running down the hall.

"Hyuuga-san!"

"I have to go!"

"What happened?"

"Sora-chan!"

Startled again Sasuke ran forward after her, down the stairs. "Hinata-wait!"

Missing the fact that he had used her first name Hinata stopped, eyes wide in her face. "She broke her arm- she jumped off the playground- she's at the hospital, I have to get there-" she paused, startled. "Haku-kun! I... I have to go get Haku-kun first, demo- I..." frazzled she stopped, feeling his hand grip her elbow again, more firmly this time.

"I...I'll go get Haku." the words were out of his mouth before he knew what he was saying. Startled Hinata stared at him. "You... you'll.."

"Text me the address."

"D-demo-"

"Go to Sora, I'll bring Haku to you, okay?"

Starting again down the stairs Hinata took it, sometimes it was better not to ask questions. "Hai."

"Make sure you have your phone on you."

"Hai!" and running out the door she was gone.

Sasuke paused, biting his lip before heading to Tsunade's office, walking rapidly through the teachers lounge, picking up Hinata's coat, scarf and work bag as well as his own as he went, knocking hard on the Principals door while he put his coat on.

Tsunade's face peered at him from around the office door, surprise lighting her features. "Uchiha-san... are you going somewhere?"

"Hyuuga-san's daughter broke her arm." He answered, wrapping his scarf around his neck. "I have to go get her son from daycare, and she's just left for the hospital."

"Oh no." Tsunade blinked, startled by the quick efficient way he was gathering his things and Hinata's. "But... you? Is there someone else who could-"

"Not really." he looked up at her. "I'm sorry. I don't know when I will be back."

He turned, heading out the door as quickly as he had come in.

"Demo!" Tsunade gasped, stepping out of her office now in her surprise. "What about-"

"See you tomorrow, Tsunade-san!"

And he was gone too, leaving Tsunade and several of the other teachers staring after him in shock.

"What the...?"

* * *

 _ **Thinks-to-hard: I actually didn't know about Boruto at the time of starting this, and to be honest I think even if I did I would have made up their kids anyway. Their personalities are I think rather different from Boruto and Himawari, also, I wanted the girl to be the one that had Naruto's spitfire and the boy to have Hinata's thoughtful quietness. Their characters popped up over time as the relationship between Naruto and Hinata in an AU solidified for me.**_

 _ **Also, and getting a little more personal here, my kids are a huge inspiration for those two characters. ;) i guess thats why i prefer them.**_

 _ **Leave me some love ne,**_

 _ **Inky**_


	8. Chapter 8

_**A.N**_

 _ **So, today I realized that maybe you`d like to listen to some of the music that I write to. It is often a touch in the direction of the emotion I feel as the words tumble out. For this fic I have listened to a lot of rather quiet, emotional instrumental work, my most common choices have been -**_

 _ **Vitamin String Quartet: Helena by My chemical romance, My December by Linkin Park**_

 _ **Healeah Dancing-Keaton Henson**_

 _ **Earnestly Yours-Keaton Henson**_

 _ **The Soundtrack to Your Lie In April (watch this anime. watch it with a warm blanket and tissues)**_

 _ **The music of Spirited Away.**_

 _ **NewRageInc.**_

 ** _If I could I would buy some chocolate. Thank you for your review. When I wrote the interaction with Sasuke and Sakura I actually looked at it a couple dozen times before posting, I read it and read it again and even though what I felt needed to be there was there it didn't sound as smooth as I would have liked. What you mentioned in your review sounds pretty much perfect, as I was a little bit put off by not having a moment to explain further the issues happening with Sakura and Ino. Which will play out more in the next chapter. I am looking at a possible redo of that part, but with my brain sulking about sleep deprivation I'm going to leave any major changes until I'm able to focus some more._**

 ** _I actually considered stopping my writing for a bit to try and focus on sleep and eating habits again so I could edit and use the notes from reviewers but insonmia kicked in at about midnight last night, so here I am again, posting._**

 _ **Much love,**_

 _ **Inky**_

* * *

 _...She's everything I thought she would be and more. When she looks at me with those blue eyes I suddenly realize what it's like to be at the whim of another human being, and all they want is candy. I've never felt so gloriously helpless before. She controls me, with a smile, or the tiny tip of her pink tongue sticking out of her mouth, all I can do is feign resistance but she knows, just like I do. I'm at her beck and call..._

The memory of Naruto's description of his daughter fluttered through his mind, and as he walked rapidly from the train station to the Daycare at the end of the street he wondered at the words.

Biting the inside of his cheek he stared up at the building. It was a nondescript little two floor business, outside however was the fenced yard covered in snow, little steps disturbed the white blanket and to the right was the offensive colorful curve of the playground where he supposed Sora had taken her spectacular dive to the ER.

"Haku Sasuke Uzumaki." He whispered, starting through the gates and down the little path towards the front door. He noted the hand painted images plastered to the windows of snowmen and butterflies, the colors harsh against the whiteness of the winter.

Feeling his stomach clenching uncomfortably he breathed in deep and opened the door.

Inside the foyer was brightly lit, painted a blazing navy blue with dolphins and other sea life blasting through the walls, their cartoon grins cut off by the window that hosted the reception desk and a young lady staring at him with a small O of surprise on her lips.

Ignoring her floundering expression he stepped forward, pulling his wallet out of his pocket to retrieve his ID.

"I am here to pick up Haku...Sasuke Uzumaki." He struggled with the name for a second, sliding the ID forward on the counter towards her, pretending he had not tripped on the boy's connection to him.

"Oh...Are... are you on the emergency pick up list?" she was young, he figured perhaps twenty, and her face was taking on a pink sheen as she looked at him, as they always seemed to in his presence. Ignoring it to the best of his abilities he shook his head. "Is there anyone on that list?"

Blinking the girl turned, pulling a desk drawer out and flipping through the folders until she pulled out one with Haku's name neatly printed on it. "I... no, you're right. I'm sorry but, without Hyuuga-san's express permission I can't release him into anyone's care..." she stared at him, her hands lingering on his ID, not pushing it back, not letting it go.

"One second." He sighed, irritated, turning around to dial Hinata's number distractedly.

The sound of little voices echoed down the hall and he glanced to the right, catching sight of a trail of kids walking down the hall in a tight line up, chattering away.

All except one.

With his chin down and his lips pressed into a thin line Haku barely glanced up at him, but he did, starting in surprise and stopping abruptly. Behind him another child ran into his back, complaining loudly at him.

Sasuke stared, meeting blue eyes with his own ebony over the distance of the hall. Naruto's face peeked at him from beneath a shock of Hinata's indigo tinted hair, her expression of distrust looking both natural and foreign on Naruto's features.

Feeling suddenly at a loss he started. _What the fuck am I doing?_

Heart hammering in his chest Sasuke blinked, hearing a slightly panicked voice in his ear as he realized Hinata had picked up a little bit ago and was worriedly calling his name over and over.

"Gomen," he murmured, keeping his eyes fixed on the child down the hall, who refused to move, forcing the line to go around him.

"I am at the daycare, they won't release him without-"

 _"Oh, right... of course. Please, give the phone to the receptionist."_

Wordlessly Sasuke took two steps back without turning around, offering the phone to the girl at the desk without looking. Feeling her take the device he walked away, to the hall mouth stopping at the threshold where he would no longer be in the foyer but in the arms of the hall walls.

Inside the classroom the sound of children's voices continued, and someone was calling Haku's name to get him inside, but he remained, unmoved.

"...Hello...Haku." Sasuke murmured slowly, something in the back of his head told him to crouch and just as slowly as he spoke he lowered himself down to Haku's level, keeping his eyes on the child at all times the way he would if he were facing a scared animal.

"Hello." Haku replied slowly, searching his face with mild confusion, his tiny hands clenched to fists at his sides for a moment. A sheen of pink was rising to his pale cheeks and Sasuke felt to his surprise a smile flutter on his lips. _Hinata._

"Uchiha-san!" The receptionist was calling suddenly, leaning over the reception desk with his phone extended.

Turning slightly towards her, but keeping his eyes on Haku he nodded. "I'll be right there."

"Who are you?" Haku's voice still had the last remnants of baby, the words only a little malformed although clear. The y's were softer than they should be and the w's whispered.

"My name is Sasuke Uchiha." Sasuke replied gently. "I am a friend of your-"

"Uncle Sasuke." Haku's eyes widened a little, one foot took a step forward and then he hesitated, his hands tightening again into fists. For a second panic fluttered over his face. Sasuke forced himself to keep his face still at his words, at his name. _Uncle... damnit I'm a bastard._

"Where's my Oka-san?"

"She's okay, she's with Sora-chan and we're supposed to meet her, you and me." Wondering if this conversation sounded too much like a kidnappers pick up line Sasuke pointed over his shoulder at the reception desk. "Your teacher just spoke to your mom on the phone, she gave them permission to let you come with me so I can take you to her."

Jaw clenching for a second, and eyes filling with tears Haku eyed the receptionist watching the exchange with curious eyes.

"Sora-chan got hurt."

"Yes, we're going to make sure she's okay."

"At the _hospipal_?"

Sasuke nodded.

"Okay." slowly Haku began to walk towards him, looking more and more concerned with each step, his chin wobbling a little as he approached.

"I'll go get his things." The receptionist called, running out from behind the desk and down the hall with a brief touch to Haku's dark hair as she passed.

When Haku was finally standing in front of Sasuke, biting his lip in a way Sasuke found familiar his unofficial uncle extended his hand, from lack of anything else to do.

"Nice to meet you, Haku-kun."

The boy stared at the hand, unsure for a moment before taking it, giving a tiny squeeze and pulling back as though bit.

"Where did you go?" he whispered, and for a moment Sasuke was unsure if he heard his question right. A knot threatened to strangle him in his throat.

"...what...what do you mean?"

But before the child could muster a response the receptionist was back, a backpack and Haku's jacket, gloves, hat and scarf in her hands.

"Here you go, Haku-kun." she smiled, extending the items to Sasuke who took them as he stood.

"Arigato."

"I want mama." Haku whispered, his voice a little more wet than it should have been.

"Let's go then, I'll take you." Sasuke replied, starting to walk towards the door, listening to the tiny steps that followed him out into the snow.

* * *

 _"Would you be able to get him something to eat?"_ Hinata sounded distracted, her voice a little shaky and Sasuke pondered if she had been crying. In the background he could hear the sound of a child wailing, and wincing he looked down at Haku who had stopped crying himself at the sound of his mother's voice on the phone explaining slowly and carefully the situation.

But the request made panic flutter in his chest. "I suppose."

 _"I'm sorry, Uchiha-san. I just... I don't think he should be here when they're.."_ she paused and spoke briefly and softly to Sora, soothing. _"They're going to set and cast it right now, and if he's here I think he might..."_

"No, I understand. I'll get him something to eat and we will wait for your call to come?"

 _"Hai... thank you so much, Uchiha-san, I don't know... I don't know what I'd be doing right now if-"_

In the background Sora's shriek for her mother made her pause.

"I'll see you later, Hyuuga-san." Sasuke murmured, hanging up the phone before she could reply.

Haku peered up at him, standing quietly and a little shaky by the dark shadow of a man.

"Haku." Sasuke sighed, crouching down again to look at him. "Did you understand what your mother told you?"

"Hai." Haku nodded slowly. "I eat, and then mama will call and we will go to see Sora-chan, at the hospipal in an ambulance. "

"No ambulance, but yes." Sasuke nodded. "We will just take the train." Haku looked puzzled. "Okay. Sora went in an ambulance."

Sasuke stared at him for a moment processing what he was saying before nodding. "Yes, I suppose she did, because she was hurt. We are not hurt." Was he dumbing this down for him too much? Did he understand? "We will go on the train."

"Okay." Haku whispered a little softly, looking away.

Standing Sasuke looked around. They had just barely made it to the train station when Haku had lost control of his emotions and burst into loud tears, standing in the middle of the crowd with his hands over his eyes weeping Sasuke had had no other ideas but to call his mother and put her on the phone with him. Listening to her slow soothing voice over the device had made him awed, watching as the tears dried and then disappeared with the seconds ticking by as she spoke. Haku barely said a word, just soft sounds of acquiesce once in a while.

"Is there something you like to eat especially?" He asked, eyeing the different shops that lined the street near the station. McDonalds right? All kids liked McDonalds.

However Haku looked up at him thoughtfully, his mouth pinching together for a moment before forcing himself to say.

"...Ramen."

Startled Sasuke looked down at him, and recognized that feeling Hinata had so painfully been unable to put into words as he looked at the child.

"Ramen." He nodded. "Of course... Come on." taking the tiny hand in his he walked through the crowd, suddenly feeling like everything posed a threat. Things had sharp corners, cracks in the sidewalk were aching to trip, strangers eyed the child with interest and he wondered if it was kind or malicious. Feeling tension growing along his shoulders he tightened his hold on the little hand a moment and then stepped into the steamy shop a few feet away from the train station, hearing the welcoming bell as the door opened and closed.

A look was passing over Haku's face as they entered, the smell was familiar, and as Sasuke picked him up and placed him on a stool his eyes brightened, looking at the images of noodles on the board behind the bar counter.

"Noodles." he whispered. "Mama doesn't make noodles anymore."

Sasuke breathed in deep, wondering how much of this he could take before he broke down and had a beer.

"No, I suppose not." He whispered, sitting down beside the child slowly. _There's probably a lot of things she doesn't do anymore..._

* * *

"I'm so very sorry, Hyuuga-san." The daycare director put a hand on her arm while Hinata stood outside of the Pediatric Unit, listening through the door as her child screamed. Breathing heavily Hinata nodded, her face buried in her hands.

"How did this happen?"

"Sora-chan is very fast... and when our staff realized she was climbing to the top of the playground they went to get her but she jumped. I don't know if you remember our last conversation."

Hinata winced.

 _"...daddy is in heaven... daddy is in the sky..."_

"Oh God." She whimpered, hearing finally the door open and the doctor step out, shaking his head, a small smile on his lips.

"Hyuuga-san."

Trembling at her fingertips Hinata walked towards him. "Is she okay? Can I go in?"

"She's upset, but she's okay. Most of the screaming was for show, it is not painless but much more comfortable than she is letting on." He chuckled mildly, taking his gloves off. "She's got spunk."

Hinata blinked at him. "S-spunk."

"Yes, I haven't had a little one fight so hard before. I think you may be looking at many more broken bones in the future, unfortunately. She only has a hairline fracture. Little ones have pretty bendy bones until later on so thankfully it wasn't a complete break."

"Oh thank god."

"No getting it wet for the next few months, and painkillers as she needs to keep her comfortable but besides that let her go about her business. Perhaps with less jumping off of things, if possible."

"Thank you, thank you." Hinata whispered, pushing past him into the room quickly, digging her phone out of her pocket with her hands shaking.

In the hospital room several different beds were spread out over the length of the walls, separated by curtains with teddy bears and stars. Sora lay in the first bed, looking with a grumpy expression at the ceiling where a poster of a sky had been tacked.

"Sora-chan." Hinata whispered, pressing the button to dial Sasuke's number as she sat beside her baby, watching her frown more deeply and refuse to look at her, jaw set.

Phone ringing at her ear Hinata blinked. "Sora-chan, how are you baby?" Slowly she traced the line of the bright pink cast that coated one tiny chubby arm, taking a deep soul shuddering breath.

"No talk." Sora whimpered, and her bottom lip gave a shake that spoke volumes as her blue eyes filled with tears.

Sighing Hinata opened her mouth to speak again and paused, hearing Sasuke's voice in her ear suddenly.

 _"Hello?"_

"Uchiha-san, Sora's done... I think they're just waiting for her x-rays to come in and then we are free to go, would you rather meet me at my apartment? I'm so sorry, this is taking literally all evening."

 _"Whichever you would prefer is fine."_ In the background Hinata started, hearing Kiba's voice. " _Hi, Hyuuga-san!"_

"Inuzuka?" she sounded startled.

 _"...hai."_ Sasuke's less than pleased tone made her smile _. "...he was asking what happened and after I explained he...found me."_

"O-oh.." Hinata stuttered. "Okay... well, I... where are you guys? Is Haku-kun okay?"

 _"We're finishing...supper."_ Sasuke supplied, sounding mildly distracted _. "We will head to the apartment as soon as Haku finishes."_

"Okay. I'll see you all there. It may take me a little while yet, since I have to wait for the x-rays and I have to take the train and walk a little ways..." feeling overwhelmed a little Hinata sighed, blinking back at Sora who was staring at her with eyes hooded by medication.

 _"Do you have a spare key?"_

"On top of the door frame. Thank you, Uchiha-san. I'll see you in a bit."

Thankful that he wasn't a chatter box she hung up, smiling weakly at the blue eyes fixed on her.

"Almost ready to go, Sora-chan?" Hinata whispered, running her hand through the tiny blonde locks of hair around her baby's face.

Sora's mouth was in a deep heartfelt frown, softening as her mother's touch relaxed her tense little shoulders. "Mine broke!" she lifted her cast arm pitifully, showing her mom the thing on her arm and pulling on it with her other hand without success. "Mine broke!"

Sighing Hinata leaned over, picking her baby up and curling her tiny body up against her, kissing her forehead as her daughter began to sob again, soothing her with soft words.

Naruto was the one who knew who Sora was, who knew what she wanted. He would have made a joke about her arm needing to amputated, would have nibbled on it and said it would make a delicious roast or something. He would have pulled out a pen and made a drawing on her cast to make her love it.

But Hinata was tired and holding her child close to her heart all she could do was sit there in the chair and let her cry, willing herself not to follow her example.

At long last when the doctor gave Sora the all clear to leave Hinata stood in the foyer, studying the snow falling in fat flakes still from the sky, the slush at the entrance of the hospital doors told her it would be freezing outside and looking down at herself, at her high heels and pencil skirt, her thin white blouse and blazer she sighed. She had forgot all of her things in the teacher's lounge at school. Thankfully Sora was nicely bundled up in her arms but it was a good twenty minutes back to the apartment from here and she would have to walk at least half of it in the freezing wind.

Biting her lip and steeling herself to move forward Hinata paused, startled to see a familiar shape heading towards the doors of the hospital only to stop at the sight of her just inside the threshold. For a moment they looked at each other through the glass doors of the hospital, blinking back and forth, him in the darkness of the evening lit only by the twinkle lights on the trees that lined the entrance, her in the blazing shock of hospital lightbulbs.

His eyes didn't leave her face and she realized that although he wasn't smiling at her something about his expression was different, studying him in the stillness she couldn't put her finger on what. With the snow falling behind him and hiding his mouth behind the high neck of his coat he cocked his head just a little to the right, waiting.

"It Kiki." Sora whispered, peering at Sasuke through the door, pointing her pink cast at him.

Slowly he raised his arm, where he held her jacket, scarf and gloves. Blinking rapidly Hinata felt a wave of emotion overwhelm her for a moment and tears rise up to her eyes.

 _I am so tired._ Chidding herself for her tears she stepped out into the cold, shivering as the wind smacked her with a flurry of snow flakes.

"How did you-?" she began startled when he reached out and took Sora from her as though it were the most natural thing in the world, passing her the jacket. The girl said nothing just blinked at him thoughtfully, raising her arm up to show. "Pink!"

Sasuke peered at her, studying the tiny face with something in his eyes that looked almost gentle.

"Hai."

Taking the coat from him Hinata watched, pulling it over her shoulders absently, fascinated with Sora's grin at his reply. "Mine broke!"

"That's what I heard."

"Pink."

"Yes."

"Sora-chan," Hinata sighed, finally throwing her scarf over her shoulder and extending her arms to her baby. "Here."

Surprising them both Sora leaned into Sasuke her blue eyes consuming his vision as she nearly pressed her nose to his. "Kiki." she whispered.

"Kiki?" Sasuke blinked at her momentarily, before turning his dark eyes back to her mother who blushed hard. "Ano... the first night you gave her a cookie..."

"Kiki." Sora repeated, looking at him expectantly. Sasuke blinked and pulled out of his pocket one of the candies that he had been given at the ramen shop as they left. "I don't have a cookie demo-"

"Ai-gato!" Sora's eyes lit up with delight as he unwrapped it.

"Where's Haku?" Hinata finally asked, although she had figured it out.

"With Kiba, at your aparment." Sasuke replied, glancing at her as they began to walk, marvelling at how light Sora was even in her mess of scarves, hat, gloves, sweaters and coats.

Happily the girl sat in his grip, sucking on the candy.

"Ugh." Hinata sighed deeply, rubbing her face. "I owe you both so much... Thank you for all your help. I don't... I don't even know what to say." She paused for a second, wincing at the wobble in her voice, taking a deep breath to calm herself. Sasuke walked along beside her, looking ahead.

"You don't owe me anything, it's fine."

"Arigato, Uchiha-san."

"It Kiki." Sora said thickly through the mess of sugar in her mouth, correcting her mother. "Kiki."

"I think.." Hinata blinked at her daughter, sliding her eyes from the blue to the onyx black of his gaze. "I think you just got renamed."

"Fantastic." Sasuke sighed, and although he sounded less than pleased Hinata thought she saw a smirk play on his lips behind the tall barrier of his coat.

* * *

"Stop it!" Kiba laughed, washing his hands in Hinata's tiny apartment kitchen. With both the men in the room she realized all of a sudden how incredibly small her home was. They moved around it like giants, bumping into shelves, into door ways. Kiba had already knocked himself on the head on one of her cupboards.

"I'm just.. I really appreciate it so much..." Hinata continued, glancing at Sasuke who had been promptly thrown onto the floor by Sora upon entering and after removing all of her outer layers she had planted herself on his lap, watching her shows with a determined expression on her face while chewing on a sandwich.

If his expression had not been so incredibly unconcerned she would have been worried, as it was she just stared, puzzled.

Haku lay in her lap on the other side of the table, breathing in the scent of his mother and finally relaxing his shoulders which he had held so tense from the moment he saw Sora's body snap to a stop on the playground floor.

"Hyuuga-san, it's fine. And your kids are great, if you had a bratty child maybe I'd be trying to blackmail you into inviting us to Christmas dinner or something." He laughed, and Sasuke in the living room who had appeared as though he wasn't listening suddenly looked up, black eyes snapping to his friends with an expression of disdain. However his mouth did not move, instead he felt his jaw clench shut, muscle tensing.

Hinata blinked at Kiba. "Christmas dinner? I... I didn't think it was a thing here..."

"It's not, it'd be interesting to see what you guys did out west though. Isn't it a big production?" Kiba continued, his voice relaxed although Sasuke noticed he had been washing his hands for a surprisingly long time.

Hinata paused, putting a hand on her lips thoughtfully. "I... yes, it is... I was... well if you'd like to come actually, we were just... the kids and I..." she blinked, feeling flustered as the words bumped together in her brain before coming out in a nice neat line. "I had no plans, yet..." she admitted slowly, one hand trailing over Haku's dark hair, petting him like a snoozing cat.

"Don't do that." Sasuke suddenly spoke up, making her turn sharply to him, his eyes lingered on her without restraint making her look away after a moment. "It's okay, we don't want to intrude." his gaze flickered to Kiba who glared back at him behind Hinata's back, sticking his tongue out for a second.

Hinata shook her head. "No...I actually... it would be nice to have guests... I would love it if you came, please."

Biting the inside of his cheek Sasuke let his eyes drift from Hinata to Kiba who grinned at her when she turned back to him. "You're awesome, Hyuuga-san. Is there anything we can bring?"

"I... don't think so- no..."

"We should go." Sasuke suddenly put in, moving the gradually limp body of Sora from his lap onto her little cushion-y chair, throwing a nearby blanket on her before straightening. Hinata watched his movements with care, a frown flickering over her face for a second before nodding. "Of course, you must be so tired. I'm so sorry about all this."

"Stop," Kiba shook his head, giving her a soft pat on the shoulder. "We're glad we could help."

Together the two men moved to the hall and Hinata stood, following them only to the edge of the family room, peering down the hall at them with Haku asleep in her arms. Standing there by herself with the boy in her grip Sasuke realized how small she was. Haku was almost five but despite it she held him in her arms as though he were a baby, his feet dangling long past her hip nearly to her knees, his arms limp around her neck.

Kiba stepped out first, yelling out a "Good bye!" as he waved. Sasuke paused at the door blinking at her for a moment. "You'll be okay?"

Surprised Hinata nodded. "Yes... thank you, I'll be fine."

"Shall I inform Tsunade-san that you won't be at work tomorrow?"

Hinata shook her head, offering him a tentative smile that made his stomach tighten painfully. "I will be in. I can't really miss anymore work and Sora's fine... we will all be a little more tired than usual, maybe." She shrugged. "But that's okay."

He hesitated for one second longer and then nodded. "Good night." stepping out the door.

Hinata watched him go, a curious look passing over her face as the door closed. If only she knew why she felt so strange.

* * *

 _ **The sleeping thing is kicking my ass. I tried, I really did. But I have this feeling that until this thing slows down I'm going to be a little less responsive than most humans.**_

 _ **Leave me some love, ne?**_

 _ **Inky**_


	9. Chapter 9

_**A.N**_

 _ **It's evening again, I am not feeling very well, and so I may or may not taper off my posting, just so you all know and don't worry I died or something. I have got to slow this thing down somehow, or my body is going to quit on me.**_

 _ **If by some miracle I am able to sleep then perhaps it won't need to slam to a stop. I'm a little scared of it just drying up before it all pours out so perhaps I have not been fighting the insomnia quite as aggresively as I should have been.**_

 _ **So there were a few reviews reffering to how this could easily just end in friendship for Sasuke and Hinata, or that maybe Kiba would take a shot at a relationship in there too. I was actually noting that in the last few chapters myself, the mood of the thing surprised me a little but I don't question a story much until I edit. They tend to think it's rude.**_

 _ **This chapter I think will clear some of that up. It won't however address some things I thought it would- it kind of took a left turn I wasn't expecting so, let me know if it was too fast too keep up.**_

 _ **I think there was a review trying to comment on Sora and her speech? I didn't exactly understand what the suggestion or question was, I think it referred to making it more clear that the kids were different ages, and that maybe she needed to speak more clearly for a three year old? I'm basing their development and what they can and can't do on my kids actually, if they do something in the fic I can honestly say I've seen it done at that age by a living breathing child. Sora and Haku are not canon so they're coming from me. Sora's speech is a little less developed than perhaps other three year olds but often development comes in waves, it's either motor skills or speech. Sora obviously got her motor skills figured out first.**_

 _ **Much love,**_

 _ **Inky**_

* * *

... _I tried to talk to Neji about Hinata the other day. I tried to explain that I was worried. She loves our kids so much Sasuke. I see it when they get up at six in the morning even though she's only been asleep for a couple of hours because Sora keeps asking for milk at night she still gets up with them without a single complaint._

 _But I caught her putting a baby book in the toaster this morning without realizing it and I'm getting scared. I leave her with them all day, I come home and I do as much as I can around the house. I wake up with Sora as often as I can but she looks like she could fall asleep standing up. Sora's happy, she gets to have her mom whenever she wants but I don't even know if Hinata eats during the day._

 _I know that if I was alone with them all day I would probably be similar but I'm freaking out. I barely get to have two word conversations with her some days. I watch her sometimes while I finish cleaning up dinner or whatever and the way her eyes light up when Haku tells her a story or Sora brings her books to read makes me hurt a little. I don't know what would happen to me if one of my kids died, Sasuke, but I know what would happen to her and that alone frightens me._

 _Talking to Neji was a waste of time. He took it like I was saying she couldn't handle it and you know the Hyuuga- there's nothing they can't handle so don't even suggest it. I'm not sure how to help her._

 _You would get it though, if you were here. I think you guys would probably have ended up being friends so long as you weren't too much of a dick, which I know is hard for you but sometimes you manage it, right? I think you would have seen what I am seeing and unlike the rest of her stupid brood you would have backed me up. I'm always looking behind me expecting to see you with your idiot face pretending it wasn't a big deal that you left... but you're never there._

 _Haku is four now, I talk about you so much he speaks about you the way other kids discuss Santa Claus or the Tooth Fairy. I sometimes wonder if he believes me that you exist or if like all clever kids he just goes along with my stories because he finds them interesting even though he doesn't think they're true._

 _Sometimes I wonder if they're true too or if maybe I imagined them._

 _Wish you would reply, hoping to see you again someday_

 _-Naruto_

Together with Kiba, Sasuke stared at the door of Hinata's apartment, feeling the chill of the cold on his finger tips and nose. On the other side of the barrier screams of delight from Sora abounded making Kiba's face spread broadly with a grin.

"That kid." he murmured, shuffling the delicately wrapped boxes in his arms. Next to him Sasuke held a fruitcake. He had expressly told Kiba **not** to get a fruitcake. That it was awful and there was an ongoing joke in the west by most sane people that fruitcake was disgusting but there it was, in it's crinkly wrap with a bow on top, grossing him out.

"Kiki here! Kiki here!" the shriek was muffled on the other side of the door and Kiba glanced at him as someone fiddled with the door knob but clearly couldn't open it all on their own.

"Your fanclub is expanding it's age group." he said seriously, looking impressed. "Amazing."

"Shut. Up." Sasuke snapped just as the door opened and Hinata peeked out at them, wide eyed and a little flustered with Sora pushing to get past her between her legs and Haku trying to peer around her skirt into the hall.

"Hi!" she gasped, stepping out of the way as Sora stormed towards Sasuke.

"You look nice!" Kiba commented suddenly, making Sasuke glance up from the toddler grabbing onto his legs to study her at his friend's words.

She did. The dress she wore was a gentle off white, delicate patterns of snowflakes trailed from the black hem up to the hips accenting the curves of her waist as it wrapped around her torso. Only a small necklace lingered on her collarbone as decoration, glittering in the light. Sasuke found himself staring at it for a long moment, trying to comprehend what he was seeing at the end of that chain.

It was her wedding ring.

"Ah! Ano... th-thank you!" Hinata gasped looking down at herself as though just realizing she was in fact wearing clothes, her face lighting up like a furnace at Kiba's words. He smiled cocking his head at her. "And it smells wonderful in there, you've been busy!"

"P-please, come in!" she stuttered, hiding her face behind her hair as she opened the door fully and wandered quickly back into the kitchen.

Without taking his eyes off her Kiba muttered. "If she gets any cuter I'm going to squish her."

Blinking Sasuke looked at him, mindlessly complying to Sora's adamant demands that he pick her up.

"I don't think that sounds as innocent as you think it does." he ventured slowly, pulling Sora into his arms. Sora looked back at Kiba now level with his head. "Nonocent."

"Nonocent." Kiba replied, pushing her hair back then giving Sasuke the stink eye. "Don't be dumb." And in the house they went.

Haku shadowed them, in the hall and at the family room, fluttering around like a moth just outside of their reach but watching, his blue eyes fixated on the men as they dropped the boxes by the hall, commenting to Haku that maybe some of those were for him.

"For me?" Haku's voice was feather soft, his gaze lingered on Sasuke before going to his mom. "Oka-san!"

"Oh you did not have to do that." Hinata sighed from the kitchen, pulling out plates and knives slowly, her face still burning.

"Don't worry about it." Kiba waved her off as he settled down on the ground in front of Haku. "Uchiha-san and I thought that maybe you'd like to have some surprises today. Maybe after dinner we can open them?"

Flickering his eyes between the still dark form of Sasuke leaning against the wall with Sora in his grip and Kiba's expectant face he nodded. "...Hai."

"And I brought a fruit cake!" Kiba announced, like it was a good thing. Hinata laughed, pulling a roast chicken out of the oven slowly. Her apartment simply could not handle the thought of a turkey.

"Where did you even find one?"

"Oh someplace. I didn't spend all afternoon on Thursday looking for it or anything." Kiba supplied candidly. "Uchiha-san however says they're awful."

Haku nodded, making a face. "Ick."

"Darn it." Kiba started. "He wasn't lying."

"Uncle Sasuke doesn't lie." Haku frowned at him, glancing at the startled form by the wall again.

Kiba froze, studying the little one's face with newfound interest. "Uncle Sasuke, huh?"

As Haku wandered to the presents, picking them up and giving them little shakes Kiba glanced up at Sasuke from his position on the floor, eyes wide. "When did that happen?"

Sasuke shook his head in reply, following Haku's little movements with his dark eyes, aware that in the kitchen Hinata had missed the exchange. What would she do if she heard him? What would _he_ do?

"Kiki." Sora stated suddenly, bringing him back to focus on her face with one chubby hand to his cheek. "Mine broke, it scratchy." she waved her pink cast in his face. "Scratchy scratchy."

"She's itchy." Hinata called, giving a tired sigh. "All the time, she's itchy."

"That would be maddening." Kiba winced, taking the salad bowl and the mashed potatoes from her as she wandered over. "Let me help."

"A...arigato." Hinata smiled, then glanced over at the table. "I think that's everything though."

"Eating food!" Sora yelled, raising her arms up and bopping Sasuke's head on the way with her cast. He laughed. The sound was delicious in it's depth and resonance, it caught her attention like a shooting star in a calm dark sky and something tensed in her belly.

Together Kiba and Hinata started at the sound, lavender eyes met onyx for a second and Hinata felt her mouth part slightly, words caught on her tongue that she couldn't quite figure out, abruptly she just smiled back.

"You are a lucky charm, Sora-chan." Kiba commented, putting the food down on the table. Heat was rising to Sasuke's neck and ears, running a hand hard through his wild hair he settled on the floor with Sora firmly planted in his lap, trying not to meet anyone's eyes for a minute.

"Thank you..." Hinata began, as she dished out for her kids, feeling herself blush. "...for being here..."

"You're insane, you don't have to thank us no way." Kiba replied, plopping a heaping spoon of mashed potato on his plate. "You're feeding me, I'm happy. Thank you."

Hinata watched him for a second, trying to ignore the rising water in her vision, out of the corner of her eye she watched as Sora picked up a bun, turning to Sasuke and shoving it into his mouth without warning.

For a moment embarrassment rose in her face, apologetic words catching in her throat as he took a bite and handed it back to her, unaffected. Beside him Haku lingered, not quite close and not too far, watching the interaction with as much interest as Hinata was.

"Well, if you ever need a babysitter." Kiba smirked, passing her a cup of juice. Hinata blinked at him for a moment and then laughed, watching the dark look that Sasuke threw at his friend over Sora's head.

 _I'm so glad they're here._ Surprised Hinata pressed her hands against her knees to keep them from trembling, finally recognizing that feeling she had had the night of the hospital. _I'm so glad._

* * *

 _He hesitated to give them to her, at the door. While Kiba had already put his shoes on and waved good bye Sasuke lingered, listening to Sora's little voice as she tried to explain something to him that he simply could not understand but found incredibly interesting anyway. Finally finished her oration the girl turned and skipped back inside her apartment, leaving her mother and Sasuke at the door by themselves._

 _She was shivering in the cold of the hallway, and wrapping her sweater around her small waist she leaned out of the doorway, glancing down the hall to see how far Kiba had gone._

 _"Thank you for coming, Uchiha-san." She murmured, looking back to him, a bit puzzled by his lingering._

 _Sasuke nodded, trying to not look at her too closely. The thing about her, he was realizing, was that out of the corner of his eye she was manageable. He could handle the scent of lavender on her hair, the way the locks flowed like ink in a bottle along her smooth cheek and down her back. He could deal with her small hands delicately handling objects or twisting in her lap with nerves._

 _But if he looked at her, took it all in at once, stared into her gray eyes and caught the emotions flickering there he felt the tsunami of who she was overwhelm him. The letters he had been reading would flip through his mind like the snowflakes falling outside, little pin pricks of light that described her so accurately._

 _Naruto had loved this woman, had known her every aspect, had kissed every molecule and adored every flaw, if there was any. He was in an awful place of knowing what he meant, of understanding his enchantment and being almost repulsed by it. He couldn't look at her that way. He just couldn't, so he chose as often as possible to just not look at her at all._

 _"I... " he paused, pulling his bag around his side and opening it. "I got you and the kids something else."_

 _"Oh no..." Hinata sighed, feeling her face heat again. It had been happening too much. Her body was a juxtaposition of feeling cold in her limbs and hot in her face. It was making her dizzy. "Uchiha-san... you did not have to do that at all, please."_

 _"Don't." Sasuke said it gently, pulling three small packages wrapped in brown paper and tied with twine. "It's not a big deal. And here." He placed three letters on top, Naruto's writing recognizable instantly. Hinata's hands hesitated to take the packages she had just been about ready to receive, her face draining of the blush at the sight of the letters._

 _"Oh.." she whispered, her fingers lingering on the gift, not quite holding on to it. He felt her cold fingers brush his and in a moment of impatience took her hand, passing her the items by force._

 _"They're three of the December letters he wrote to me." He whispered, watching her eyes fill with tears as she brought the items close to her body, holding them delicately against her chest._

 _"I... I don't know if I..."_

 _"Save them for later then." He watched as she studied the writing on the envelope, biting her lip in that way that made him look somewhere else._

 _"Okay... Arigato, Uchiha-san."_

 _He shook his head. "See you at the New Years Festival then."_

 _"Hai..." she sighed, stepping back into the apartment as he left, and he had the bad luck of catching the wounded expression on her face as she closed the door._

"So, she's been reading the letters too then?" Kiba blinked at him as they walked towards the drumming in the distance at the temple. He winced slightly and then frowned. "This Naruto guy... like... I'm sorry he's gone and everything but man, he is being a downer on both of you lately."

Sasuke sighed and looked at him, too tired to articulate how incredibly irritating his half joke had been. Kiba smiled weakly in apology. "Sorry. I just don't want both of you to be on my suicide watch list because of those letters."

"They're from her husband, she should have them."

"They were for you though."

"You really think she shouldn't have them?"

"Do you really think she should?" Kiba countered, and the hesitation on the Uchiha's face made him nod. "See? You're not even sure if she should be reading those. That's all I'm saying. It could be bad."

Mulling this over Sasuke stopped, startled.

Down the road just at the edge of the festivities with the light pouring out of the lanterns and twinkle lights that were spread across the street in ribbons he could see two children jumping around, their little kimono outlining their small shapes against the light of the vendor stalls and the moving mass of bodies in the market aisle.

Sitting beside them on a bench was Hinata, laughing at something that Haku said.

Kiba continued on, and then paused, looking back at him confusedly. "What?" He turned following his eyes.

"Oh."

Hinata had her hands neatly in her lap, watching her kids dancing in the evening light. Behind her the glow of the market set her hair into indigo shades that were a myriad of different hues. The kimono hugged her in all the right places, accenting the delicate collarbone at the neck, highlighting the pale startling gray of her eyes.

"What is it about women and kimono?" Kiba whispered, swallowing. Catching the breathless tone in his voice Sasuke looked at him, ripping his eyes off Hinata with more difficulty than he would like to admit. "What are you talking about?"

"Don't be daft, I saw the look on your face." Kiba murmured, keeping his voice low as he studied the Hyuuga some more.

"Don't be an idiot." Sasuke replied, feeling panic flutter in his chest.

Kiba finally turned to look back at him, jaw clenching. "You would be the idiot if you kept up this nonsense. If you look at a woman like that it's because you see her- actually see her- not just her atoms all bunched together. I know you, Sasuke."

Startled by the sound of his name on Kiba's lips Sasuke looked away, jaw tight.

"She's...she glows, okay?" Kiba continued hesitantly, swallowing. "If you don't make a move, someone else will."

A ringing had begun in his ears that he couldn't figure out, and carefully Sasuke looked back at Kiba who had yet to take his eyes from his face.

"You mean you?" the words came out hard, much sharper than he had intended and for a moment shame flooded him so bad his neck burned.

"Maybe." Kiba frowned at him. "Don't pretend it would be bad form either. You've only recently started treating her like a human being. Not that it matters though." He shrugged. "She may be shy but she's got her own mind." He smirked then, giving his friend a pat on the shoulder that seemed to dispel the tension with the touch. "If she can throw your shit back at you the way she did the first few months it doesn't matter what we want, she'll figure it out what she needs and do that." he shrugged. "So maybe let's not get ahead of ourselves, ya?" He laughed, starting towards her and the kids.

At the sight of him Sora and Haku brightened, their excitement at the festivities behind them palpable even from a distance. Sasuke watched as Kiba reached them, picking both up under his arms like sacks of potatoes, making them laugh.

"You'd be the better choice..." he whispered, realizing, abruptly what kind of trouble he was in.

* * *

"Will there be fireworks?" Haku whispered. Sometime during the long walk through the market he had taken Sasuke's hand. He responded to Kiba, Hinata noticed it, with smiles and giggles. But it was Sasuke who captured his imagination somehow. Still a little puzzled Hinata watched, walking behind them with Sora's hand in hers.

"Yes, in a bit at midnight when the new year begins." Sasuke replied calmly, glancing down at him and watching his face light up with anticipation.

"I didn't... I just didn't think..." Hinata drifted off, trying to piece together the Sasuke she was looking at and the arrogant irritating person who had welcomed her so harshly into her new life.

"You thought kids would hide from him the way they fear the boogey man right?" Kiba smirked, nodding. "So did I. I kind of still think he's the boogey man."

Hinata smiled, feeling Sora let go and run forward, waving her tiny kimono clad arms at Sasuke until he picked her up, startled as she scrambled from his grip onto his shoulders like a billy goat.

"Your kids are weird, is what it comes down to." Kiba laughed and Hinata's grin broadened.

 _"Look at her!" Naruto shouted from the kitchen. At 18 months old Sora was still young enough that a scream like that had Hinata tumbling over the laundry she had been folding, scampering down the stairs two at a time until she slid the last two and nearly landed on her bum on the ground floor, staring into her living room where Naruto was standing with his hands in his hair, staring._

 _Sora was in the book case. On either side of the fireplace were two tall white shelves, reaching straight to the ceiling. Happily Sora lay curled on the second to last shelf, soother moving with her contented sucking, her diaper clad bum stuck up in the air and her head down in her most comfortable sleeping position._

 _A wild frightened panic clawed up Hinata's body, making her scramble over the couch, nearly stepping on the snoozing Haku that lay curled there, uninterested in his family's affairs._

 _"N-naruto! Get her down!" Hinata gasped, reaching up and finding to her terror that she was just a little too short._

 _"I have to get a picture though!" Naruto shouted back with excitement, making her realize in that moment that the only person in the house who was scared, was her._

 _Turning to look at her husband with disbelief clearly spelled all over her face Hinata sucked in a breath. "No pictures! This is awful!"_

 _"It's amazing!"_

 _"She's going to fall!"_

 _"Nah, I'm right here, Hina-chan!" He aimed at the precious thing on the top shelf, getting a good picture of her unorthodox method of relaxing and then grinned at his wife, flashing her the phone. "Baby book material, I swear!"_

 _Hands in her hair Hinata took another breath. "Please get my baby girl down, Naruto!"_

 _"Oh honey." He laughed, grabbing her by the waist and planting a loud smooch on her suddenly red face. "You better get used to this, she's my kid."_

 _"D-d-demo!"_

 _"Think about it." he continued, walking over to Sora who was fast falling asleep. "Think about all the crazy crap I did growing up."_

 _Wincing Hinata buried her face in her hands. "Demo!"_

 _"I mean, we're a weird family, let's just be real here for a moment."_

 _"Naruto!"_

 _Cradling the sleeping bit of human in his arms Naruto grinned again, blue eyes searching the sleeping face with care. "But think about all the awesome things she's going to get to do because of that fearlessness."_

 _Pausing Hinata stared, watching the fascination bloom on her husbands face, slowing her heart rate with his smile._

 _"Fearlessness..."_

 _"Or weirdness, I mean...same thing." he laughed, turning to look at her, smiling, eyes shining._

"Yes." Hinata nodded. "They are weird."

Kiba's grin matched hers for a moment. "Well at least you know."

"I want!" Sora's scream was accompanied by Haku's more calm agreement as he ran forward towards a stand, watching as curling twisted potatoes were pushed into hot tubs of boiling oil, coming out crispy and delicious before being sprinkled with salt.

"You just had dinner though," Hinata began, only to have Sasuke wave at her softly. "Here." He handed money to Haku. "Go ahead."

Startled the boy looked at him, holding the coins in his hand like they were gold. "O...Okay..." he whispered, turning to the man on the other side of the booth. In hesitant shaky Japanese Haku ordered, his eyes so big in his face they reflected the lights behind the server.

Hinata watched, startled as the words flowed from his mouth.

"They learn really fast at this age." Kiba murmured beside her, making her snap out of her thoughts.

"Hai..."

"Probably won't have an accent at all by this time next year."

"Potato!" Sora waved her arms wildly above Sasuke's head. "Yay!"

Curiously Hinata watched as people admired her daughter and Sasuke as they walked by, the grins and smiles shared among them as they passed, some even stopping to gaze for a minute, younger girls whispering to each other and blushing, hiding their admiration behind the sleeves of their kimonos.

"I'm glad you came." Kiba stated suddenly as they watched, making her tear her gaze from the admiring crowd passing by her children.

"Oh." Hinata began, looking over at him. "Thank you for inviting us, I... I wouldn't have had the courage to..."

"No, I mean- I'm glad you're here, instead of wherever you're from." he shrugged, smiling gently at her. "I know... it's not exactly been easy on you but, I just wanted you to know that I'm glad to get to know you and your kids." He shrugged again, perhaps a tad nervously, nodding towards Sasuke.

"I'm pretty sure that he's probably more glad than I am too, but if he admits it he might melt or explode or something."

Surprised at the turn in the conversation Hinata blinked at Kiba. "Uchiha-san was rather upset at my arrival actually."

"Yeah." Kiba nodded, not wanting to delve into the death of her husband he continued. "He's not great at the emotions thing."

Haku rushed forward, holding the curly potato on a stick in one hand, dusted with salt and pepper. "Oka-san! Blow on it? It's so hot!"

"Of course, Haku-kun." She smiled, taking the stick from him and beginning to blow, glancing up to see Sasuke doing the same for Sora's, trying to peer at her from between the locks of black hair she was pushing down on his head.

Naruto's voice whispered through her, and she nearly dropped the stick in her hand as the memory ripped through the moment, a lightening bolt in her mind.

 _"Hina I know you hate these letters."_

 _"I...I do."_

 _"But you don't understand."_

 _"No, I don't."_

 _"He's like my brother, Hina-chan."_

 _"Demo...Naruto-kun he...he left, and..."_

 _"If something were to happen to me, if something awful were to take place..."_

 _"Don't. Don't talk like that."_

 _"No, I'm serious, let me tell you."_

 _"I... I don't want to hear it, Naruto-kun please... I..it's so scary."_

 _"Listen, please. If something were to happen to me." His hands had wrapped around her wrists, drawing her in even as she pulled away. This argument was always the one that made her the most sick, the one that made her want to cry. The thought of him not being there, the thought of his smile and his face not beside her in the morning making her stomach drop away, making her life spill out of her body, leaving her cold._

 _"The only person I could ever think of who I could trust to keep you all safe would be him. I know you don't understand that because he took off but... Sasuke's a hard nut to crack. He's not easy to understand."_

 _"I wouldn't trust him! I can't believe you're saying that. What about Neji-nii-san? What about Shikamaru-kun? What about-?"_

 _"Hinata. Sasuke would do anything for you and the kids, just because you were mine. He would."_

 _"You...you can't possibly know that."_

 _"Well, the man I knew, he would. Maybe you're right, and I can't be a hundred percent sure, but...I have to write these letters. I just do. I won't give up on him."_

 _"...Okay, Naruto." A sigh of defeat, an acceptance of a wound._

 _"I'm sorry, Hina..."_

 _"No, I know..." his lips had trailed her neck, biting at the soft skin beneath her jaw gently, making her sigh._

 _"I love you."_ She couldn't remember who had said the last sentence, was it him, or had it been her?

A sudden sound of bells tolling made her turn, looking around distractedly, feeling the ghost touch of lips at the edge of her collarbone. "What's that?"

"It's time." Kiba called, picking Haku up and throwing him on his shoulders quickly. "We should find a spot to sit, the fireworks are gonna go off any minute!"

"Fire!" Sora yelled, trying to scramble off of Sasuke rapidly, using him much like a fire hall pole to the ground. "Fire!"

"Fire works." Hinata corrected, a little unfocused, rubbing her neck.

"Look up there." Kiba called, watching as people began to conjugate near the shrine steps. "If we run we can get that spot on the hill, there's no trees near it we should be able to see the fireworks so well!"

"Fast!" Sora shouted, moving to run, her chubby little legs pumping hard. "I got her!" Kiba yelled, running after her with Haku on his shoulders giggling.

Hinata stayed, feeling suddenly a weight that had been hovering over her settle nice and thick onto her back and shoulders. Tiredly she sighed, glancing at her watch and the time ticking towards the new year.

Beside her Sasuke watched as Kiba managed to get the kids up on the quickly filling hillside, waving his arm at them. Sasuke waved back, unsure of how they would manage to get all the way there in the sudden press of bodies around. Beside him Hinata gasped, feeling the push of people trying to jostle close.

He studied her momentarily, attempting as per usual to keep his eyes from lingering too long. "Are you okay?"

Hinata kept her face turned away, as though searching for something. "Yes...I'm... I'm okay."

The sound of an explosion made her jump beside him, instinctively drawing closer and together they looked up in time to see the sky burst into light, the colors dancing over their faces. Off in the distance Sora's excited shriek cut through the crowds murmur. As the colors rained down, a rainbow slayed by the beauty of the stars beyond it she breathed in.

"He loved fireworks." Hinata whispered, and had she not been pressed to him by the crowd he would have missed it. Startled he looked down at her, her pale eyes searched the heavens, drinking in the dark and the dancing fire that flickered through it with each blast.

"Every year we watched them at home, and even though Haku was scared at first by the end he was just...shrieking with excitement, because his daddy loved them, he loved them."

It didn't matter what beauty was occurring up above in the heaven's, Sasuke watched it, reflected in her pale gaze, feeling a fear he was unfamiliar with start to tighten around his throat.

"He did this thing where he made a wish when the new year started, that he would see you." she whispered, her gaze finally turning to his and as she turned he could see finally the desperation and tears trailing down her face, unchecked.

Unable to look away he breathed, feeling the smell of her perfume or her body or whatever it was that made her scent intoxicate fill his lungs.

"I envy him." she whimpered. "He had the chance, the hope that you would return but I... we...there's no wishing today for me...for us. He's gone."

Startled by the feel of his fingers on her cheek she gasped, unable to move as he wiped away a tear, staring into her in a way she had never seen him do before, as if trying to figure out what was in the depths of her, a place she didn't know herself.

"I envy him too."

Up above her the stars and fire fought for dominance, just like the sudden guilt and shock fought inside of her.

* * *

 ** _Leave me some love, ne?_**

 ** _Inky_**


	10. Chapter 10

_**A.N**_

 _ **So, I wrote this chapter, and then a windstorm kicked into my town and took out the power and my chapter with it. And I am devastated because the chapter is gone. I tried to find it and recover it to no avail. After mourning the loss of a perfectly good chapter I tried to rewrite it and it just lay there dead in my mind. No amount of resuscitation worked, and eventually I went to bed knowing I had lost something.**_

 _ **Now you are getting the fourth rewrite of this thing, pretty much the plotline seemed to die with it and a new one showed up, eager to take it's place. I am very confused right now about the direction of this story, so please forgive me if it doesn't jive with the rest of the chapters. I am upset about it.**_

 _ **Also, thank you and thank you again for the kind reviews, I had a storm of them during the time I was offline and when I came back to it I was pleasantly surprised.**_

 _ **Much love,**_

 _ **Inky**_

 _ **PS.**_

 _ **Shadow of Miracles- holy crap you were reviewing like crazy. Thank you for all your thoughtful insights. I really appreciate them! After reading each review I was able to read the chapter anew. It really helps me keep in touch with the start of the story. Thank you.**_

* * *

 _...I spent most of the time after you left actually moping. I realize that's not like me, and you're probably like "sure, whatever dobe, five minutes of being sad doesn't count as moping." but it was longer than that. it was a lot longer than that._

 _I looked for you, for one thing. I used to tell everyone and then HInata later when we were together that I went to visit you at your university but all I did was go to places that had a Sasuke enlisted or an Uchiha hoping that they were you. I may have met some very distant relatives of yours in my weird adventures._

 _I have thought a lot about what happened, and I seriously think that if you were to just stop the silent treatment and talked to me about it we might be able to get somewhere. You might even feel better, but this bullshit move you pulled with taking off I just didn't expect._

 _I guess I should have, if I had been a better friend._

 _I should have said something to social services about your drinking, for instance. Or the teachers about you not talking to me but I have always known you to be strong, Sasuke. I honestly couldn't even entertain the idea of this thing taking over your life. But now I know how it felt. Your brother died... he disappeared and now I'm in this boat with you realizing how much it sucks and how hard it is to let go, since ya know, you managed to do the same thing to me._

 _The thing that I can't let go of though is that I do actually know you, unlike everyone else who took your cocky crappy attitude and then your drunk rants at face value. I knew you were just sitting in there screaming because you couldn't possibly understand how to live alone._

 _I wish you knew you aren't alone, I wish you knew how much I do love you. And since I'm being painfully cheesy, my family loves you. They don't even know you, Hinata may not trust you but your welfare would be her top priority if you showed up, she's just like that, and my kids? Haku thinks you're some sort of fantastical creature that fought battles with me when we were young, he listens to stories of us before bed like it's the Round Table I'm talking about._

 _Sora's little, but if she's anything like me she'll see through your shit and hopefully will knock you around with the sheer amount of cute that kid can wield like a mace._

 _Life is happening, Sasuke, it's happening for me and out there somewhere it's happening for you and I just pray, I really do, that you're not wasting away. What a waste that would be. What a fucking shame._

 _Your brother, always_

 _Naruto_

The letter was heavier than the others. He had written it on a different kind paper so that the folds were thick in the envelope, the words more crisp with his pen. Eyes lingering on certain words written with more force Sasuke traced the paper with his thumb, feeling along the bottom.

 _...your brother always..._

It was earlier than he had thought it would be, and he had arrived at the school to find all the lights off. The sun was not up but it wasn't unlike him to arrive as the dawn began to break across the horizon, spilling it's colors over the sullen night like a bucket of cold water on a fire.

But sleeping had evaded him after waking in the twilight, and reading the letter he held in his hand had not helped. Jaw tight he glanced over it again, letting certain words drift from the page, pummeling him in the gut the way Naruto's fists used to when he got out of line.

Leaning against the school gates he let his head rest on the concrete beside him, the wash of the sunlight from the dawn setting the scene into a glittering mass of sparkles. The drip drip of slowly melting icicles on the metal of the school gate and the deep breath of the hardened snow beginning to thaw made him sigh. He was done with winter, with long dark nights, freezing mornings and short days.

"...Uchiha-san."

He stiffened, unable to keep the tension from snapping into place along his shoulders as he turned to look at her standing at the school gate with her nose buried into her scarf and her eyes as big and wide as the clouds drifting by in the sky.

Purposefully he had avoided her for the rest of the winter break, dodging calls from Kiba with excuses of feeling ill or being busy with lesson plans. The way her eyes had consumed him at the festival had felt like having his heart squeezed while it still beat in his chest and he couldn't handle having it happen again so soon.

"Good morning." His voice was flat and uninterested and to his surprise he managed to rip his eyes away from her terrified expression, leaning against the school gate and turning back to the letter again just for something to do.

He listened though, to the _crunch crunch crunch_ of her boots on the hard crystals of snow that led towards him, and caught sight of her feet above the page of the letter.

"Is that from Naruto?"

Realizing his mistake Sasuke looked up, folding the letter slowly. He couldn't hand this to her, have her read it and watch as curiosity began to show. So far there had been no questions about his leaving home although her obvious irritation concerning his treatment of her husband didn't even have to be said. It was there in her eyes when she spoke about him, and as he studied her he was glad to see the uncertainty which lingered upon his hello was dimmed, her focus now on the page he was quickly trying to get back into his bag.

"Yes."

Slowly she turned her head to the side as though trying to figure him out from a different angle and he had to keep himself from thinking about putting his fingers along the line of her exposed jaw, tracing the curve to feel the smoothness of the warm skin and her blood pulsing through the vein in her jugular.

"Are they difficult...for you to read?"

This was not how he had wanted to start off the new term. Where the hell was Tsunade with the keys? She was usually the first one here. His plan of being calm and collected and distant for as long as he could with this woman was being ruined.

"Sometimes."

 _Every fucking time, like stitches, or a slap in the face when you're shocked. They're difficult._

To his surprise she did not say anything else but he could feel her eyes lingering on him, and when he looked up he blinked to see her startle as though caught doing something she wasn't supposed to be, her face lighting up rosy as she looked away.

"...about...New Years..." she began, her hand tightening at her chest, and for a moment he thought maybe she had his lungs in that fist from the way they felt at her words, crippled and unable to take in needed air.

He didn't reply, but leaning against the school gate was making him feel a little like being in front of a firing squad, pressed against the bars of a prison where his blood would splatter and his life would end with her words. He could not absolutely could not have this conversation. Knowing he was going to scoff and deny anything she said he struggled, aiming to stay silent if at all possible.

"I... I wanted to thank you, for being so good with the kids- and for the kimonos." Hands trembling Hinata straightened her jacket gently, keeping her eyes on the snowy ground, her foot print next to his was clean and sharp against the black of the pavement, the difference in size almost funny.

"I really loved my kimono. I always wanted one, but..." she laughed a little nervously. "...I did have to look up a video on how to wear one properly."

Air finally seeped into his lungs, slow and steady and he glanced up to see her looking to the right towards the brightness of the rising sun, unaware that the rays of light lit her face and made her seem almost unreal. Her eyes glowed, a deep persistent light and with a gust of cool wind sighing through her hair she smiled, turning back to him.

He bit his lip hard to wake himself and nodded. "I figured, you wouldn't have any... and I just... I saw them..." Speaking was proving difficult. Employing one of her usual tactics he took a deep breath. "I saw Sora's and Haku's hanging up at a stand during a Christmas market. I am glad that you all liked them."

Remembering the way the kimono hugged along her hips, and up to her torso accenting the swan like curve of her neck he turned to look down the street, blinking rapidly to clear his mind's eye.

"Where is Tsunade-san?" He wrestled with the desperation in his voice, keeping it to a minimum.

"...I think I see her." Hinata smiled mildly, waving at a vehicle coming down the street at an incredibly reckless pace.

"Tch." Sasuke shook his head. "And she thinks I'm immature."

"Gomen!" Tsunade's voice seemed to break the icy spell of tension in the air as she jumped out of the vehicle, straightening her pencil skirt with her fingers as she ran over, unlocking the gate quickly. "Getting back into the swing of things is so hard after a holiday! See you inside!" And she was gone, driving her car through at a speed Sasuke found very irritating.

"Remind me..." Hinata murmured softly as they began the walk to the school through the crunching ice. "...not to ever ask Tsunade-san for a ride."

To his surprise and hers he turned to her, and laughed.

* * *

"She brought us bentos again?" Kiba picked up the item on his desk and inspected the outside like he was studying something at an anthropology museum, taking a look at every angle.

"Yeah." Sasuke mumbled, trying not to sound too happy about it.

"Ah." Kiba sighed back, putting the fabric wrapped box on his desk as he settled into his chair. "She's too damn cute sometimes."

Pressing his lips into a thin line Sasuke looked up at him for a brief second, catching Kiba smirking at him knowingly. "But you already know that."

"Don't."

"Ohaiyo, Inuzuka-san!" Hinata's voice entered the busy lounge then and Kiba perked up, looking at her with a grin. "You did not have to bring me lunch but I am still so glad you did, thank you."

Hinata shrugged, a tiny adorable rise and fall of her shoulders, settling in the chair next to him with an armful of materials. "I'm happy to, thank you for taking us to the New Years Festival, we would have just stayed at home. The kids loved it."

"How's Haku doing with his Japanese sail boat books?" Kiba inquired, turning away from his desk to face her, leaning forward, elbows on knees. "He seemed excited about them at Christmas."

"He was asking me if there was a harbor to take him to, so he could see the flags they use to speak to each other." she looked at a loss. "But I actually have no idea what he's talking about."

"The signal flags, on that book you picked out for him, Uchiha." Kiba turned to his friend.

Sasuke had not looked up at their exchange and still typing on his computer he replied. "Naruto taught him, there's a harbor on the other side of town with a view point you can take him to, the flags are clear from there,"

Hinata seemed to freeze at the name, her eyes focused on Sasuke as though he had cursed in her presence. Kiba felt the change in the air and sat back a bit, looking back and forth.

"How...do you know Naruto taught him?" Hinata whispered, her eyes trained on his face in a moment of shamelessness. Feeling the pressure Sasuke turned to look at her, startled as well by the instensity of her focus. Realizing his mistake he looked away, an uncomfortable and unusual move for an Uchiha. "...He told me about it, in a letter I read earlier in December." he murmured. "Haku loves it."

The silence stretched endlessly for a moment and before Hinata could come up with a reply Tsunade stepped out of her office, clapping her hands loudly to get everyone's attention as she began a run down of the days schedule.

Everyone turned, the teachers huddled near her office and the meeting began, Hinata stared at Sasuke as though nothing else was happening. Around them the waves of their peers flowed and crashed, their conversation buzzing as they asked about their holiday and focused on their meeting. But Hinata's eyes were like rocks in the sea, unmoved by the battering.

"I want... to see the letters." She whispered it, and in the ruckus of the others talking he could not hear her voice, feather soft in the chaos, but he watched her lips form the words and release them into the air. She had not realized the potential in Naruto's correspondence beyond a glimpse into his memory. Clearly the realization was crashing over her mind Sasuke felt himself tightening like a coil about to spring.

He did not reply, fear kept him from saying yes, and the desire to please her kept him from saying no.

* * *

"I haven't let her look at all of them." Sasuke murmured. He was well aware that the last time he and Kiba had spent time in the library it had not gone particularly well. Although, he had been mildly hungover at the time and very upset. This time the hangover wasn't a factor as he had nearly cut drinking out completely over the last three months, but the upset was definitely in.

It was a new world when he could clearly see that he was uncomfortable and pained by something, and so he sat in one of the chairs while Inuzuka did the work of sorting the books they had to put back from last term into their respective shelves, with his head in his hands and his elbows on his knees, eyes closed.

"I thought you were giving them to her slowly." Kiba replied glancing at his friend with care, a frown of worry on his face. "I don't really get it, why can't she see them?"

The letter in his back pocket from the morning was burning a hole through his clothes just like the last time and he sighed.

"Naruto...was my best friend." He whispered softly, out loud it sounded strange although he had known this for some time, probably always.

"He said things to me that I wouldn't.. that were private."

Kiba stared at him, lowering the pile of books onto the table slowly. "Like?"

Knowing this was where the conversation was bound to go Sasuke laced his fingers along the back of his neck, pulling at the muscles of his back to stretch out the stress.

"Sasuke?" Kiba was looking at him with growing worry. "Like what?"

In the five years they had known each other Kiba had not once asked, not once inquired what brought him to where he was now. He had never questioned the fact he had no family, had never pondered at his lack of friends, at least out loud to him.

"Like why I left home." he muttered, rubbing his face, unwilling to see the curiosity and wariness cross Kiba's gaze, he had run from everything he knew to avoid that expression and now it was here, mocking him.

What was it Hinata had said, sitting in the snow with a note from her husband in her hands covered in tears?

 _Things never work out like we plan. Never._

* * *

"You what?" Tsunade stared at Hinata as though she had just told her she was going to be bouncing around the school on a pogo stick in stead of walking for the rest of the year.

Hinata cocked her head slightly, leaning into the Principals office. "I wanted to talk to you about Uchiha-san. I didn't get a chance to before the winter break."

"Oh no." Tsunade sighed, letting her shoulders droop with tiredness. "You're not quitting are you?"

Hinata started. "What? No..."

Puzzled by her response Tsunade motioned her in, moving to close the door. "Formal complaint then?"

Taking a seat in front of the principals desk Hinata arranged her skirt around herself with her fingers, a little frown flitting over her face. "No, Tsunade-san."

Still more confused Tsunade sat down in front of her, studying her with growing interest. "No?"

"No, I was wondering about the issues with Haruno-san and Yamanaka-san. I understand that Uchiha-san was to have a meeting with you about a complaint before the break and I offered to speak with you in regards to it but then, Sora's arm broke..."

Tsunade blinked at her. "On his behalf?"

"Hai... I have noticed some behavior in the classroom that I thought might fill out your understanding of the situation some more." Hinata cocked her head slightly at her. "Would that be acceptable?"

"Of course." Tsunade sat down at her desk, looking at her with open interest. "I haven't really had another teacher be willing to discuss the issues with Uchiha-san he rather keeps to himself. Besides Inuzuka I don't really have anyone else who has seen him interact with the students besides students themselves."

"Oh, I've noticed a lot of things." Hinata nodded. "I was actually thinking I needed to speak with you about it before the news of the complaint against him. I understand that's from Haruno-san?"

"No, actually. Haruno has never come to me, but it appears Yamanaka-san, Ino's mother was told by Ino that Sakura had a discussion with Uchiha-san before the break and that it was bordering on inappropriate. Sakura understood that he didn't want her to stop being interested but that he could do nothing about it because of his job."

HInata felt heat rise to her face, and it took her a second to realize she wasn't embarassed. Puzzled for a moment she put a hand to her chest, feeling the tempo of her heart rate increase with her growing displeasure.

"Oh, really?" she murmured, fists clenching and uncleching in her lap for a second.

"Well, yes. But I haven't actually had a chance to ask Uchiha-san what he has to say. He sent me an email report on the incident the day it happened, and it seemed like he handled that fine but the story I got from Ino's mother is quite different." Tsunade paused, watching Hinata rub her face for a moment.

"Hyuuga-san are you okay?"

"Hai." Hinata nodded, sitting at the edge of her seat with her knees nearly touching the desk. "I think this discussion may take awhile. Do you have a few minutes?"

Tsunade nodded, standing up and walking over to the window to close the blinds. "Of course... please."

Trying to keep herself from getting too irritated Hinata began, well aware of the strangeness that was her defending Sasuke Uchiha to anyone.

* * *

Looking to the door for the third time in the last five minutes Sasuke shook his head, trying to clear the cobwebs from his brain with the motion. She was late from lunch and he knew she had her lesson plan finished because he had seen her sitting next to the photocopier after the meeting in the morning, looking thoughtful with her eyes glazed as she waited.

Licking his lips idly he turned back to the chalkboard and scribbled out some of the vocabulary the class would be working on, feeling the magnetic pull of his gaze to the door again despite his best attempts to keep calm. Behind him the soft murmur of the students whispering to each other and scribbling in their books hummed with familiarity.

Outside the raging blue of the morning sky had begun to disappear with the wind, and he could see the rain clouds heading towards them. The coolness of winter was starting to fade and he knew soon the grass in the school entrance would begin to show through the piles of white snow, peeking out as though waking from a deep slumber.

Hinata would love that, she would be entranced by the cherry blossom trees that decorated the school in spring. Something about it would make her eyes light up and her face get as pink as the blossoms, brimming over with her delight.

A sound startled him from his reverie, the door sliding on it's track smoothly and quietly as she snuck into the class, pressing her back to the door after closing it. Glancing at her for a moment he paused, seeing the paleness of her cheeks and lips and frowning.

Her gray eyes glanced at him and then away, moving towards the back of the class where there was an empty desk, depositing her things onto the surface before settling down with her head down, her body signalling her lack of motivation for communication.

Puzzled Sasuke turned back to the chalk board, irritated that his heart was skipping around in his chest like a dizzy toddler learning to walk.

"Once the vocabulary lists are in your book please get together in groups of two or three and discuss sentences that would be appropriate to use with these words. Write them out and attempt to converse with them before handing them in to Hyuuga-sensei. There's fifteen minutes left in class, don't waste it." He muttered and the students grumbled lightly before standing or turning around to face each other.

In the chaos of a free second Sasuke peered through the uniform clad teens at Hinata who's brows were pinched together with worry as she stood, heading towards him slowly.

She opened her mouth to speak as she approached but he beat her to it, leaning against his desk to keep himself away fromt he scent of lavender and the underlying sweetness of her skin.

"Are you okay?"

"Oh." Hinata seemed surprised by his question and as her eyes lingered on his face she noticed there was worry lining the creases of his eyes, turning down the set of his full lips. Something tugged at the corner of her mouth in a half smile. "Hai... I'm okay, just...a little worried."

Puzzled Sasuke waited, studying her the same way she was regarding him, as though they were new things, needing to be re-evaluated.

"Tsunade-san and I had a conversation..." she began and glanced back over her shoulder, eyes scanning the room until she located the pink and blonde hair of the two girls in question at the back of the class. "It went...differently than I had hoped."

Following her gaze Sasuke sat up, tensing.

"The request for tutoring in the evenings was approved." She continued a little less carefully. "And since you have seniority..."

Eyes widening slightly he stared at her. No, Tsunade surely wouldn't put him in a situation where he would have to be alone after school with those two. Surely. She was crazy but she wasn't stupid.

"Don't worry." Hinata gasped, seeing the look of panic cross his face and before she knew what she was doing her hand was on his arm, caught between the rolled up folds of his dress shirt and the smooth skin of his bicep.

A feeling like an electric shock made her jump back instantly, her face coloring sharply.

"I took the lessons." She gasped, by way of changing the topic from the surprise on his face at her touch. "I took them without... thinking about it... but they're in the afternoon and Haku and Sora-"

"What?" He was trying to follow what was happening, but her absent fingers from his skin was distracting him. "You did what?"

"I took on the lessons in the afternoon, demo... Sora and Haku need to be picked up so I don't know how I'm going to-"

"Why would you-?" and he stopped seeing her glance back again, watching with mild dislike the girls at the back adjusting their hair and uniforms with carefully manicured hands.

"Oh no." He sighed, putting a hand to his face. "Hinata-" he stopped, choked on the name and watched as she turned to look at him, eyes so wide in her face he could see the reflection of the sky through the window behind him. There they were, those consuming eyes he had been trying to avoid all January.

"Gomen- Hyuuga-san." He corrected, heat rushed to his face in a way he had never quite had before. This was ridiculous. He couldn't be doing this. She was Naruto's wife, for heaven's sake he couldn't even...

Pink lips parted in something akin to awe and HInata breathed out softly. "I..." she paused. "I haven't been called Hinata in..." she frowned, feeling her eyes water for a moment. Blinking rapidly she lowered her head, a hand to her face as she tried to calm her breath. How long had it been? Five months? Six?

Sasuke glanced up, catching Haruno's eyes trained on them he grabbed Hinata's wrist and pulled her gently to the hall, closing the door on the chaos of the class knowing he only had a few minutes to apologize before everyone was dismissed for the day.

Her tiny wrist fit in his grip without a fuss and he noticed there was no hissing discontent like the last time he had dragged her somewhere without asking. As he closed the door he turned to her, in time to catch her tears spilling through her fingers, as though she were trying to catch the liquid before it escaped her and failing.

"Hyuuga-san, I'm sorry I-"

"No- please. Gomen nosai..." She shook her head, shoulders trembling. "I...I haven't had anyone call me by my name...in...nearly half a year... I just..." she gasped, rubbing at her cheeks without much success. "I'm always...Hyuuga-san...or Oka-san... I'm never.. I haven't... I didn't realize..."

Hesitating for a second Sasuke put a hand on her arm, startled when she suddenly buried her face into his chest, body trembling.

There was that scent, lavender and sweetness, enveloping him at the feel of her hands tight against her face, pressed to his collar bone. She would feel the drum beat of his heart through his clothes he was sure, and anxiously he placed his hands around her trembling shoulders, fighting with the desire to press her to him.

"C..can we be friends please?" She was whimpering into his shirt and the words sounded thick with her tears but he heard it, felt it as she breathed against the vein of his neck. Aware of the miniature distance between her lips and his skin he trembled. "I don't want to be just Oka-san... I don't want to be just Hyuuga-san..."

The sound of the classes being dismissed made her jump, but Sasuke held on for a second longer, allowing himself the bittersweet luxury of nodding against the smoothness of her cheek.

"We're friends, Hinata."

A little sob escaped her in reply. "A...arigato, Uchi-...Sasuke-kun."

Suddenly understanding the shock of being called by his first name Sasuke's grip on her tightened for a second before he pulled away, studying her face as she tried desperately to clean herself up with her fingers.

Abruptly the door to the class opened and together the two teachers turned to look at Sakura standing at the threshold, her eyes trained on Hinata's tear stained face and Sasuke's hand on her elbow. Blinking rapidly her gaze flitting to Sasuke's for a split second she turned and ran down the hall.

"H-Haruno-san!" Hinata began to call but Sasuke shook his head. "No... let her be."

Students were starting to exit their classes, school bags in hand, glancing at Hinata's pink tear stained face curiously. "You should go get cleaned up, H...Hinata." he stumbled for a moment, watching with fascination as a grin spread slowly through the tears on her face.

"...hai, okay.." she nodded. "I'll be back to get my things in a minute..." and she turned, heading towards the bathrooms quickly, making her hair flow behind her in a cloak of silk with her hurried steps. Swallowing hard Sasuke watched, biting his lip as Kiba stepped out of a class just as HInata passed, glancing back at him with a questioning look . Sasuke shook his head, trying with all his might to keep a smile from touching his lips and failing.

* * *

"You did what?"

"That was my reaction." Sasuke commented as Kiba pushed away from the door frame he had been using to lean against, blinking at Hinata with incredulous eyes. "You can't do evening classes- what about Haku and Sora?"

"Ano... I don't know." Hinata sighed, twisting her hands in her lap while sitting in one of the student's desks. Lit only be the setting sun trying desperately to push through the incoming clouds her face was mostly hidden by shadow but her cheeks were still a bit pink and her mouth soft and delicate looking from all the biting she had been doing to it as she tried to problem solve. "Would I not be able to maybe do the lessons in the mornings? Or at lunch?"

"Doubt it." Inuzuka shook his head. "There's so much stuff the kids do in the mornings already- I mean maybe but..."

"Probably not." Sasuke shook his head while he packed up his things at his desk.

"I already told Tsunade-san I could do it." Hinata sighed, tapping her fingers together as she thought. "I guess I need to find a babysitter..."

Kiba blinked. "Why did you volunteer though, Hyuuga-san? I mean, if you don't mind me asking."

HInata's eyes flickered to Sasuke and back to Kiba quickly. "Ano... I spoke to Tsunade about... some of the students, that report that Haruno-san's parents filed against Sasuke-kun..."

Kiba blinked at her use of Sasuke's first name, startled, but unwilling to comment. "...I convinced her they were being very inappropriate but then she felt she had to comply with the request for tutoring or it would look bad to the parents, like... like we couldn't handle the kids behaviour proffesionally, but Sasuke has seniority so he would automatically get the extra hours, except..."

"Except being alone with students is a bad idea for that face." Kiba smirked, glancing at his friend who just glared at him. "Beauty is a curse I guess." he teased.

Hinata smiled slightly. "I just... thought it would be easier if I took them, but I didn't think it through."

"How about we watch the kids?" Kiba volunteered suddenly, making HInata blink at him.

"Ano..."

"When is it at?"

"Twice a week... from four to five- demo that's right at dinner time, and I..." she jumped when Sasuke walked over and picked up her books, starting towards the door.

"We'll just do it." He called without looking back as he stepped into the hall, making both Kiba and Hinata jump up to follow with matching expressions of surprise.

"Are... are you sure? That's a lot to impose on-" Hinata began, and paused when he glanced back at her, black eyes trained on her face for a second.

"That's his 'shut up' look, except he doesn't say that kind of thing to cute girls. Just me, apperantly." Kiba supplied, sticking his tongue out at Sasuke for a second before moving towards the stairs past him. Cheeks blazing slightly Hinata followed.

"Well... okay then..."

"Yep." Kiba called from the staircase.

"Yes." Sasuke agreed and Hinata followed, biting her lip some more and this time not from worrying, but from trying not to smile too big as she went after them.

"It's going to be raining buckets out there any minute now." Kiba called from the bottom of the stairs, looking towards the entrance of the school where the clouds could be seen gathering in the distance, rolling angrily along by the push of an irritable wind.

Sasuke glanced at HInata suddenly, watching her stare at the heaven's with trepidation. "I should go. I don't want to be caught in the rain with the kids." she whispered, pulling her jacket over her shoulders with trembling hands.

Nodding, Kiba turned back to them. "Do you have an umbrella?"

"I...yes... I'll get home before the rain starts though." she whispered, quickly throwing her bag over her shoulder and extending her arms to Sasuke to pass her books. For a second he hesitated, studying the draining color from her face. "...are you okay? You look...faint." he began, startled when she reached out and took the books from him despite his reluctance.

"Oh no, I'm fine." A smile that didn't reach her eyes graced her features before she turned and headed down the hall.

"Bye, Kiba-kun, Sasuke-kun!"

Kiba jumped at his name, startled. "Oh! Bye! Hinata-chan!"

As the door closed he turned to Sasuke, grinning. "And here I thought you were her favorite for a minute."

Sasuke didn't return his smile, frowning slightly as she disappeared from view.

What was it that Naruto had said?

 _...my family loves you. They don't even know you, Hinata may not trust you but your welfare would be her top priority if you showed up, she's just like that..._

Sasuke turned, heading to the teachers lounge with Kiba chattering away beside him.

 _How did you know her so well, Naruto? How did you do it?_

 _Can I do the same?_

* * *

 _ **Ugh, I just... no. It's not quite right- it's the best version of this chapter I have, but there are SO many things I didn't like about this. It's choppy and feels disconnected- whatever, I needed to get past this or I was gonna end up flopping and the last thing I want is another ten year writers block so, bear with me.**_

 _ **Hit me with your recommendations. Maybe talking about it will help me get back on track. I did NOT enjoy writing this thing. It was like pulling teeth.**_

 _ **leave me some love, ne?**_

 _ **-Inky**_


	11. Chapter 11

_**A.N**_

 _ **These couple chapters are kicking my butt. I keep trying to get them just right but I can't seem to get the same grip on the story that I had before. It's just a little slippery but unlike the last chapter i do feel like this is more in the direction it was before.**_

 _ **I got a review that said the last chapter flowed- to my utter surprise because I HATED it. But if it's not so bad then great! I'm glad it made sense. That was the main thing I felt like it didn't even mesh or something.**_

 _ **Still missing my darling flamers, it would appear that they no longer want to wound me deeply and alas our relationship has ended. Too bad, I was enjoying their repetition- like a rap song. A bad one.**_

 _ **Much love,**_

 _ **Inky**_

* * *

Listening to the heart beat pumping in her chest Hinata stared up at her phone, held up against the bright light of her room.

Her bed was mercifully empty of toddler limbs and heads and she was able to sprawl on the futon , glaring at the black screen of her cell with distaste.

She could call Tsunade, cancel, explain that the afternoon classes were too much of a disturbance for her kids and take the hit on her still tenuous hold on her job. Nothing should get between her and her kids, and this thing was going to cost her two evenings a week.

Tsunade's text glared back at her when she pressed the button on her phone. Cheery and carefree.

 _Hope you're ready for your English Cram Sessions after school tomorrow! Have a good night!_

Sighing Hinata rolled off the bed and wandered to the hall, popping her head into the room where two little bodies snored soundly, noses whistling in the dark. Smiling Hinata closed the door again and looked back at her apartment, assesing it like it would give her an answer to her questions.

Haku and Sora had been more than just excited at the idea of having Sasuke and Kiba pick them up after daycare, and after running around the house yelling their pleasure Haku had sensed Hinata's hesitation, taking his mother's face in his tiny dirty hands to plant a kiss on her nose the way she always did to him.

"It's okay, Ka-san. We love you too."

 _Oh good._ Hinata had laughed. But the statement had not done much to remove her hesitation. Sora was potty trained, but still had occasional accidents, and besides getting them home on the train in one piece they also had to serve them dinner and get them ready for bed.

Rubbing her face tiredly Hinata sighed, thinking about Haku's excited jumping on his bed, arms waving around his head. _"Uncle Sasuke! Uncle Sasuke!"_

"Won't hurt to try, at least..."

Slowly she walked back into her room after turning off the lights and plopped onto her bed, turning the phone on again and hesitating in the glow of the screen over Sasuke's name for a second.

Steeling herself she dialed, feeling her legs kicking nervously as she rolled over onto her tummy biting her lip.

The phone rang, and rang and for a second she almost hung up when Sasuke's voice filtered through into her ear, sounding surprised.

 _"Hinata?"_

A smile lingered on her lips for a second at the name.

"Hi... um... I was just calling to ask if you're sure about taking care of the kids tomorrow, I'm a little nervous and..."

 _"Hinata."_

Burying her face into her pillows she sighed. "I know... I just..."

 _"I can't guarantee that the apartment will survive unscathed but the kids will be alive by the time you get back. Hopefully having eaten something. Have you spoken to them about it?"_

She felt a laugh escape her. "Yes."

 _"Oh?"_

"Haku had to assure me that he also loved me, despite his excitement for you guys."

 _"Oh."_ Sasuke's voice sounded genuinely surprised. _"Well... good, then."_

For a second there was silence in which she listened to his quiet breathing, and swallowing hard she murmured. "Um... I also wanted... to ask about Naruto's letters?"

The silence continued for a moment, and she shifted further into her pillow, making her voice muffled. The quiet almost non existent conversation they had exchanged in the teachers lounge on the first day of term had ended without his agreement or disagreement. She had been wondering when to bring it up again, but the words had spilled out of her thoughtlessly now. The panic in his face had been so clear that day, and with her curiosity piqued she simply couldn't keep it in.

"Sasuke-kun?"

 _"Hai... I...yes... which...which ones?"_

Surprised by his floundering tone she squeezed her eyes shut, kicking her legs furiously behind herself.

"Ano... I'm not sure- is there... is it okay? You sound a little unsure and I-"

 _"No, I'm fine. I just, there's..."_ he sighed. _"There's a lot of them, Hinata."_

Hinata stared into the dark of her tightly closed eyes, watching as colors drifted lazily in the black while her heart thumped. "How many?"

 _"...a lot. I haven't... even read them all yet."_

Slowly Hinata sat up, pulling her knees into her chest with her phone firmly and painfully pressed to her ear.

"Sasuke." she heard his soft intake of breath. "How many?"

 _"More than sixty."_

Hinata pressed her face to her jean clad knees, hard. Her finger tips felt suddenly a little numb.

"Oh...Sasuke." she sighed, and the wobble in her voice betrayed her.

 _"I know... I'm sorry."_ he began, startling her. _"I should have... I should have replied to him, at least told him to stop."_

Hinata's short laugh surprised him, it was tainted with tears despite her amusement. "If you told Naruto to stop he would have-"

 _"Sent one every day."_ he whispered, and the hurt in his voice made her pause. "Sasuke-kun...he loved you, he wouldn't have wanted those letters to be a burden."

The silence hung heavy for a minute and sighing she rubbed her face. "Can we read them together? After I get home from the cram session tomorrow?"

 _"Kiba will be there..."_ Sasuke began with uncertainty.

"I think Naruto would have liked Kiba-kun." Hinata murmured, laying her head against her arms as she watched the stars through her window.

 _"...hai."_

"Okay. See you tomorrow then."

 _"Hai."_

On the other side of the city Sasuke stared at his phone from the floor where he had been sprawled reading, Hinata's name glowing back on his face.

From the couch Kiba blinked at him with distaste. "You didn't want me around did ya?"

"No." Sasuke replied without pause making him grimace.

"You dick."

"The letters are..." he paused. "They're not easy, Inuzuka."

"Nothing worthwhile ever is. For all your brains you kind of don't know shit." Kiba grumbled, sitting up. "I should go though, I gotta get some sleep before I wreck my students' day with a pop quiz tomorrow."

Sasuke nodded, sitting up with the phone in his hand, staring at it.

"He talks about her in his letters, doesn't he?" Kiba murmured, watching Sasuke tense. His friend kept his eyes down, dropping his phone to the floor with a sigh. "Yes."

"This guy." Inuzuka continued, pulling his jacket over his shoulders. "Was he good to her?"

Sasuke sighed, leaning against his couch with his hands over his eyes. "Yes."

"I've never asked." Kiba murmured, hesitating at the doorway before the hall, hand gripping the door frame a little too tight. "I never asked why you came here, when I found out you had run away from home, and I won't." He added, watching Sasuke's face tighten at his words.

"But whatever it was that made you leave someone who cared about you- about people- the way that her husband seemed to... I'm sorry it happened, Sasuke. Whatever it was, I'm sorry."

Not waiting for a reply he strode down the hall, leaving Sasuke with his hands pressing into his eyes trying to distract himself from the pain in his chest.

* * *

"You look moody." Kiba commented with a grin at Hinata as she glanced up at him from her desk, her chin pressed firmly into her palm, her eyes a little wet.

"My babies." It was supposed to be the start of a sentence but it didn't get any further as her throat caught the rest of the words. Sasuke shot Kiba a glare that would make satan wince from across the desk. "Baka."

"Ack." Kiba gasped, putting a hand to her shoulder before her tears started spilling. "Hey! It's going to be okay, they're going to have a blast bossing us around, and then they're going to be so glad to have some semblance of order when you show up they're going to never want to let you go, it'll be a win win all around."

"Hai." Hinata whispered, allowing herself a tired little laugh. "I am just going to miss them, it's silly, sorry. You guys are doing me such a huge favor."

"No." Sasuke snapped suddenly. "Don't."

"He's right," Kiba agreed. "Not very eloquent, but he's right. I mean, you took the classes so pretty face over there doesn't get in any more trouble with Tsunade-san."

If he could have said anything else that would have made him feel more guilty Sasuke would have been surprised. The death glare returned. Kiba grinned at him. "You need me, bro. We're going to look after kids in a few minutes, I'm essential."

Hinata's teary giggle made them look back to her, Kiba smiling with some relief. "There she is." He sighed. "Okay. So you'll be at the house at around five thirty, yes?"

"Hai." Hinata nodded, standing up and walking with them towards the front doors. "Dinner is in the fridge, just put it in the oven at 350 when you get in, and don't let Sora eat nothing but potatoes please."

"Will do." Kiba nodded, opening the front door and looking at Sasuke with a very serious expression. "Ready?"

"Hn." Sasuke sighed, glancing back at HInata as he stepped out. "Might be easier without him."

Hinata smiled again, blinking in the light of the sunset. "Thank you."

"Stop!" Kiba shouted from the bottom of the steps. "Stop the thankfulness! You're too much cute!" he threw his arms in the air in frustration, making her laugh again. "Okay."

"See you soon." Sasuke murmured softly, eyes lingering on the glittering tears drying on her lashes for a moment, resisting the urge to wipe them away with some difficulty.

Waving gently Hinata let the door close behind them, sighing.

 _Back to work, I guess..._

Glancing back over his shoulder Sasuke watched her disappear into the school, turning back to the street with a look Kiba wasn't sure how to interpret.

"Nervous?" He asked finally, eyeing him as they trudged along the slush left over from the snow.

"No." Sasuke lied, and then glared at Kiba again when he smirked back knowingly.

"Maybe a little." he admitted finally.

"Not as nervous as you'd be sitting in that classroom with the entire female population of the school. If you'd been teaching it there would have been lines."

"Well, it filled just with Hinata." Sasuke replied, making Kiba stop. "Really?"

"That's what Tsunade-san said."

"Hm." Kiba pondered, kicking at a rock on the sidewalk thoughtfully. "I wonder if her fan club signed up."

Sasuke stopped walking, staring at him. "Her what?"

Kiba kept going, ignoring his shock. "Her fan club."

"What?"

"You're deaf."

"Kiba." Sasuke actually ran up beside him, looking incredulous. "Her what?"

"F-A-N space C-L-U-B." Kiba replied slowly, enunciating with precision. He grinned. "You didn't think you were the only teacher with one did you?"

It was probably the first time he had ever seen Sasuke's flounder for words quite the way he did in that moment, mouth open like a fish out of water.

"Told you she glowed." Kiba grumbled as they neared the train station, making it even harder for Sasuke to find any words to say.

* * *

She was tired. The kind of bone tired she had not been in a little bit, and as she wandered down the hall of her apartment she wondered that neither of the boys had bothered to call or text her with any questions about the kids. Worriedly she stared at her doorway, wondering briefly what she would find on the other side.

Hand lingering with her jingling keys over the lock she sighed, and opened the door, peering inside at the quiet.

A hurricane had come through, there were pillows from her bed in the hall, and a smear of something that looked like jam on the hall wall. She stared at it as she removed her shoes, moving carefully through the chaos as though perhaps she was entering a haunted house.

"...h...hello?"

"Shss." Someone hissed, and peering around the corner into the family room she froze.

Sora's chair was upside down, toys were strewn over the table, among the dishes from dinner, and beneath it where the kids' uniforms were crumpled. On the floor beside the table lay Kiba with Haku's octopus shaped pillow beneath his head, fast asleep with Sora spread across his chest like a star fish.

On the other side of the table with his back to the wall of Hinata's room sat Sasuke, with Haku asleep on his lap, the toddler's dark head resting on his stomach, gripping his sailing book to his body.

Sasuke's eyes trained on her with a bit of shame. "Gomen..." he volunteered slowly, looking around at the disaster, the sound of softly playing cartoons coming through the TV and the light of the colorful characters sending crazy shadows dancing in the dark.

Hinata's mouth and eyes were parallel O shapes of surprise as she scanned everything, lingering on Kiba and Sora, and then on Haku fast asleep on Sasuke.

Swallowing hard she breathed in. "No...I..." she bit her lip hard, looking back at him with a weak smile. "...I can't... believe they fell asleep." she whispered, coming to sit down beside him. Sasuke jumped a little at the feel of her hip resting against his and her shoulder pressing into his side.

"...they played rather hard." he ventured, watching her reach out to pry the sailing book from Haku's fingers slowly.

"I'm too gentle." she whispered, kissing the tiny fingers as she removed the book.

Before he had thought it the word was popping out of his mouth involuntarily. "No."

She gave a short quiet laugh. "Yes... I am. They used to play so rough with Naruto." She shook her head and her hair lingered over his shoulder. He picked up the ends of a strand between two fingers as she shifted Haku into her arms, letting go quickly before she noticed, rubbing his fingers together to dispel the feel of the silk on his skin.

"Kids need to tumble." she whispered again, moving to stand with the boy in her arms. Sasuke pushed himself up, taking her arms by the elbows to haul her and Haku up together.

"Arigato."

"They tumble." He murmured, standing by the door frame as she settled her son into his bed gently, kissing his nose before pulling the blankets over him.

"I'm just thankful." she supplied. "That you and Kiba-kun are able to spend time with them... that you're willing."

Sasuke swallowed as she moved towards Kiba and Sora. Kiba had one eye open, wincing. "Sorry." He began as well, making her laugh again, shaking her head as she gently lifted the lifeless form of Sora, save for the steady rise and fall of her chest.

Rag doll-like her arms flopped from her body as Hinata carried her to bed, coming back out and closing the door with a deep sigh of relief.

"You're a wizard." Kiba grunted, stretching out his aching back. "I tried getting her to bed three times before and she woke up every time."

Hinata's smile had yet to leave her face as she gathered up the uniforms from under the table. "They gave you guys a hard time, huh?"

"No." Kiba shook his head, sounding a little forced.

"They were excited." Sasuke supplied, moving to pick up the dinner dishes.

"Ano..." Her hand fluttered over his for a second, making him pause and stare at it, small and pale and delicate over his knuckles. "...do you mind...getting the letters out for me, instead?"

Swallowing hard again he straightened. "...hai."

"I would love to help clean up- but I can go if-" Kiba began suddenly, surprising Sasuke and earning a confused look from him. Hinata shook her head. "Kiba-kun, stay... you can hardly walk." she laughed softly, pointing out his slight limp as he stretched out his now sleeping leg from laying sideways on the floor.

"Battle wounds." he offered, smiling.

Sasuke moved to his bag at the end of the hall, feeling his hands start to get clammy as he pulled out the bundle of letters he had read so far, walking back and watching as Hinata caught sight of him, holding the brick shape of Naruto's words.

"Oh." she sighed, making Kiba pause from putting blocks away at the sound, glancing at the handful with a wince.

"...there's...so many more than I realized." she whispered. "Picturing them in my head..." slowly her shoulders drooped as she looked down, studying the toys in her grip.

"...this isn't..." Sasuke began and she nodded, cutting him off. "That's not even half, is it." There was no question in her tone.

Slowly he shook his head, and sighing Hinata threw the toys into the bin beside her. "Well... we may as well get started then."

* * *

 _"...you punched me in the face so hard that I actually couldn't smile without it hurting, my lip was so swollen and everyone called me Kissy for weeks afterwards. Man, I cannot believe how much you hated being teased about your pretty face..."_

Kiba stopped reading, drawing in a breath to steady his laugh. Hinata's tears had started the moment the first letter was open, and Sasuke sitting with his forehead pressed to his arms resting on the table just sighed, listening to her soft tear filled laugh.

"He... never spoke to me about that." She whispered, brushing the tears away with her sleeve.

The toys had been cleaned up, three coffee cups sat on the table at varying degrees of finished, and the kitchen was dark, only the light of the lamp behind Kiba shed light into the room, letting Sasuke hide the pain on his face in the shadows.

"So it's a thing since you were little." Kiba commented drily. "Not wanting to be called, pretty face."

"I could punch you now and make it a lifelong thing." Sasuke muttered darkly, making Kiba smirk.

" _...There were so many times that we got concussions, I wish we could sit around and talk about the things you remember that I don't and vice versa. I know for sure there was one time that we fell out of that tree, remember? Probably not, you were dizzy for days and all the way home you threw up until there was nothing left in you, I swear. Most disgusting stroll we ever took."_ Kiba's voice wavered with his laughter.

A chuckle escaped Sasuke suddenly, and Hinata smiled, watching his shoulders shake for a moment before he lifted his head from the table, and she stopped, suddenly catching the glitter of tears on his face in the dim light.

Like a magnet she moved forward.

"I don't think I can keep..." _going_ he was going to say, but stopped stunned as she crawled forward until their bent knees were side by side, and unceremoniously wrapped her arms around his neck, squeezing him hard to herself.

"Y-You're crying." she sobbed, and Sasuke reached up, touching his face past her hair, feeling the wetness there with some surprise.

Kiba sighed, lowering the letter to his lap. "I think that's enough for one day, kids." He murmured, folding it up.

"Kiba-kun." Hinata whimpered, peering at him from Sasuke's shoulder, her pale eyes glittering in the dim light of the lamp.

"Hm?" He leaned forward, and to his surprise her hand reached out, grabbing his shirt and pulling him in hard until she had both her arms around both their necks.

"Ano... I'm... I'm really thankful for both of you- and I don't care if my thankfulness is annoying." She spilled out, her shoulders trembling as she gripped them harder. "I don't care."

Kiba and Sasuke felt each other relax at her tightening grip. "Hina-chan." Kiba sighed, shaking his head as he rubbed her back.

Glancing at each other over her head Sasuke winced, just as Kiba did.

 _Damn._

 _We're in trouble now._

* * *

 _ **Leave me some love, ne?**_

 _ **-Inky**_


	12. Chapter 12

_**A.N**_

 _ **I do kind of wish I could get rid of the romanji, believe me ladies and gentlemen, when I'm looking at it without being in the story itself I do kind of wince at it, as I do speak different languages and I know how irritating it would be to hear someone speak like this.**_

 _ **I can't seem to edit it out though, and although I've tried to minimize the use of it, it still seems to make it onto the page for some reason.**_

 _ **It, I think will be one of those painful things I change at the end of all the editing that will have to go into this piece.**_

 _ **Much love,**_

 _ **Inky**_

 _ **P.S I got a new keyboard because my old one actually quit on me. I broke the keys, and upon further inspection I realized none of them had the letters on them anymore O_O. I actually typed so much I rubbed them off.**_

 _ **Yikes.**_

* * *

"And then we went to the playground because it was a little windy but not raining and I jumped through the hoops with the metal and when I got down Uncle Sasuke told me he had never seen me jump so high before and I got a high five." Haku took a deep breath that filled his lungs and Hinata blinked at him as he continued to speak.

"And then Kiba-san he ran over and he had Sora upside down, and he was using her like a bazooka on his shoulder, and she was laughing so hard she nearly threw up, and Uncle Sasuke called him baka."

Another round of blinking continued as they rode on the train, Hinata's gaze trained on her son as he spilled the beans on the last episode with her friends.

"Then Kiba-san said that he would get in trouble for calling him baka."

"Baka." Sora smiled beside her mom, eyes shining. "Baka mine."

"She calls Kiba-san baka now." Haku explained in passing, waving his arms around in a big circle. "But Uncle Sasuke said that maybe next time we can go to the ocean place where there are boats, to see the flags, that Daddy taught me."

A smile lingered on her face for a moment, watching as the blue of his gaze exploded with delight as she touched his cheek. "That sounds like so much fun, Haku-kun."

"It is." he sighed, settling on the seat beside her finally as though winded.

"Baka mine." Sora repeated, swinging her legs on the bench. "And Kiki mine."

Hinata's grin returned as she straightened her daughter's sweater with her fingers. "I'm glad you like Uncle Sasuke, and Kiba-san."

"Yeah." Haku nodded beside her thoughtfully. "They're good."

"Will we see them tomorrow again?" He asked, turning to her mom. Hinata sighed, pushing his hair back from his face lightly with her hands before nodding. "Every Tuesday and Thursday, baby. Today is Wednesday."

"But we're going to the playground today too." Haku continued, grasping the situation as fast as he could in his little mind. Hinata nodded. "For a picnic. They'll be there today too, just for fun. I will stay with you all today."

"Yay!" Sora yelled abruptly, making people on the train turn to look at them, causing both her big brother and her mother to blush.

"Picnic food! At park! Mine Kiki! Mine Baka!"

"Sora." Hinata whispered, lifting her scarf around her mouth to muffle her under the pretense of adjusting it, allowing herself a nervous laugh. "Don't say baka!"

"Baka mine!"

As the station came into view Hinata got up, smiling weakly at a pair of older ladies watching her curiously although not unkindly.

"Let's go." She murmured, taking the kids hands as she stepped onto the platform in the chaos. Right ahead she saw the shapes of the two men, one waving wildly.

"BAKA!" Sora screamed, letting go of her mom and heading forward in a rush. "KIKI!"

Hand on her face to hide her embarrassment Hinata followed more slowly, ignoring the bouncing body of her son at her fingers. "Hi..." she sighed, shaking her head at Sasuke's cocked eyebrow.

"I'm not against the use of the name but how did she-?" he began glancing at Kiba who had Sora on his hip already.

"She's confused." Hinata began by way of explanation. Haku shook his head, looking at Sasuke in a wise fashion. "She heard you."

Sasuke stared at him for a minute, and then smiled just a little. "I think we agreed we weren't going to mention that to your mom..."

"Oh right." Color rushed to Haku's face as he realized and Hinata smiled, pressing her hands to his ears.

"I will call you baka myself if you make him feel bad about it." she warned, mama bear lurking beneath her gray eyes. Kiba made a scared face at Sora, who grinned and growled. Returning to her calm voice Hinata removed her hands and smiled. "Shall we have a picnic?"

Sasuke was following her with his gaze as she turned to walk from the station in the direction of the park, his eyes laughing even as he winked at Haku, taking his other hand. "Let's go."

The walk to the park was pleasant in the early February day, and with the snow finally gone they sported sweaters and hats, finally having cast aside the heaviness of their coats for the year. The sky blazed with sunshine in the afternoon light, extending the shadows of the trees that surrounded the playground and benches at the center of carefully manicured greenery.

"How're your lessons in the afternoon going?" Kiba asked as they approached the park and dropped their bags, Hinata taking a blanket out of her backpack to spread on the grass that was finally starting to thicken in the warmth of the strengthening winter sun.

"Oh." she sighed, and shook her head. "They're fine, but the boys..." she began causing both Kiba and Sasuke to turn to her rapidly.

"What boys?"

"Most of the class is boys." Hinata shrugged. "I have Haruno-san, and Yamanaka-san and a couple other girls but the rest of the class is all boys." She sounded confused as she arranged the blanket on the ground and placed their bags on it. "And they're all extremely polite to me but they fight with each other all the time." she grumbled.

"Is that so?" Sasuke commented drily, glancing at Kiba who had a pinched expression like he had tasted a very sour lime. "Little turds."

"They're just rowdy." Hinata shrugged again, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear.

"Mhm." Sasuke replied, allowing Haku to drag him away before he said something else. Sora chased after them, little fat legs pumping as hard as they could to catch up as they neared the playground.

Kiba sat down on the blanket beside Hinata as she pulled out several containers with food inside.

"You have no idea why they're fighting?" He asked innocently, grabbing a strawberry as she opened a container full of fruit. Hinata kept her eyes focused on the items coming out of her pack. "Not particularly. They just seem rather tense, it is at the end of the day they must all be rather tired."

"Hm." He replied, allowing himself a laugh as she looked up, curious about his tone. "Nani?"

"Oh nothing." He shook his head, mirth making his eyes grin at her along with his mouth. Puzzled Hinata stared at him as he took another bite of the strawberry. "What is it?"

"Nothing."

"Kiba-kun."

"BAKA!" Sora shouted, her scream making Hinata jump and then blush crimson. "Ack." she gasped. "Sora-chan!"

"It's fine." Kiba laughed, pushing a lock of hair behind her ear as the wind played with it. "Leave it, she makes me laugh." he shrugged, amused to see her cheeks flare with heat at his touch.

Calmly he stood, watching her touch where his fingers had trailed on her face, puzzlement crossing her features for a second.

"Coming!" He called as he ran down the little hill towards the playground, scooping Sora up in his arms before throwing her into the air making her shriek with laughter.

Hinata watched them, Haku clinging to Sasuke's hand for dear life, Sora smiling so big her eyes were watering at the edges, and for a moment terror gripped her.

Swallowing softly she pulled her knees into her chest, smoothing out her jeans on her thighs and pulling her sweater sleeves over her palms against the chill that was crawling out from inside her despite the rays of light from the lowering sun at her back.

What would she do, if one... or both of them ever left?

Resting her chin to her knees she breathed in deep, trying to calm the sudden sick feeling in her gut.

"Time out!" Sasuke called to Haku, who had been chasing him non stop since they arrived, and Haku gave him a little pout before running to a swing and climbing on.

Hinata blinked as Sasuke climbed back up the hill and plopped down on the blanket beside her, surprising her with his lack of breath.

"They just don't quit." He muttered in reply to her raised brows. She grinned. "No, they do not."

"He's going to be faster than me before he's even in middle school." Sasuke continued suddenly, making her start and look at him again. "He's so fast already, and his legs are so tiny." he sighed, finally feeling his lungs relax. "He's going to be like his dad."

"Naruto was faster than you?" Hinata whispered, watching his face soften on the name. Sasuke smirked. "Sometimes. We were pretty even, but yes, sometimes... just wasn't watching where he was going often too which I think slowed him down some."

Hinata felt herself laugh, surprised that the pain and the laugh could come from the same place inside her at the same time.

For a long moment Sasuke was quiet, studying Haku as he pumped his legs, getting higher and higher on the swing with each extension.

"...Sasuke." Hinata's voice had a quiet defeated tone he had not heard before and when he turned to look at her he was surprised to see her eyes trained on the sun, watching it coming down making her eyes do the dazzling thing he could never get tired of.

"...you left...and I don't really understand it..." Beside her he felt his muscles tighten, pressing his lips into a thin line he looked at the blanket on the ground, studying the soft patterns of flowers and stars.

"...but you can't...you can't do that again." her eyes lifted, and turned back to him then, searching. "Please... promise me you won't..." and she sighed. "I can't make you promise- I'm sorry I just.." she buried her face into her arms for a second over her knees.

Sasuke's hand burned beside him, itching to touch her but purposefully he pressed it into the blanket.

"I'm not going anywhere."

"But..."

"...I know." He nodded, watching the wind ruffle her dark locks around her face. "But I can't. Okay?"

"That's not true." Hinata mumbled, turning back to her kids. "Someone could come along, and you could end up with a family of your own and then what?"

Sasuke started at the train of thought on her mind, studying her with more intensity than he realized. "I'm not...I'm not going anywhere, Hinata."

"But, Sasuke..."

He leaned forward abruptly, and in his hesitation lingered near her ear, instead of her cheek where he wanted to be, pressing his mouth to the smoothness of her skin instead of hovering above it, drinking in the scent of lavender and honey.

"Stop." He breathed it against her and Hinata jumped, feeling her heart stutter and trip inside her chest, reclaiming a rhythm much faster than the previous one, goosebumps rising along her arms and legs. Roughly she rubbed at her forearms, trying to dispel the tremble in her hands.

"No." She turned to him, startled suddenly by his proximity, feeling burned by the way his eyes bore into hers, kindly and yet terrifying. "You're not...bound to us in any way, I'm just... I'm just worried about the kids and what will happen when you do find someone who...what?" she blinked as he turned away, irritation flickering over his face.

"I'm not going anywhere. I can't... I won't."

Biting her lip Hinata turned away too, waving at Sora wildly shaking her arm back and forth on top of the playground at her from a distance.

"Just... please don't forget them." she mumbled, lowering her hand slowly to her side. Sasuke breathed in softly, and nodded in reply.

From below, pushing Haku on the playground Kiba watched, biting his cheek thoughtfully before turning away.

"Kiba-kun!" Hinata called suddenly. "Kiba-kun! Let's eat!"

Breathing deep Kiba smiled at Haku and picked him up off the swing. "Let's go buddy."

"Okay." Haku nodded. "Kiba-san?"

"Mm?"

"Can you be Uncle Kiba instead?"

A slow smile spread over his features as they walked along towards the picnic on the hill, gently he ruffled Haku's hair, not allowing him to see the slight tinge of sadness on his lips. "That would be amazing, Haku-kun."

* * *

"Please make sure to have the homework from your English class here for tomorrow so that we can go over it together again before your mid term tests." Hinata continued, looking down at the pile of papers in her arms, jotting down notes for each of the students and their progress as they passed them to her while they filed out.

A few of the boys lingered near the door, waiting it seemed for a word with her.

"Ano..." one mumbled to her right, "Hyuuga-sensei... I was wondering...if you knew what the rules were... from the school about teachers receiving...Valentine's Day gifts."

Hinata didn't look up from her marking, a little frown flitting over her face as she scribbled something on a page she was handed. "Um... I... have no idea, Tosoru-san." she replied, finally turning her puzzled eyes to him. "Why would it matter to the school?"

"From students." Tosoru looked more pink than his usual soft cream and for a second Hinata blinked at him. "Are you all right, Tosoru-san?"

"Hai!" He gasped, and his friends behind him teetered mildly with soft chuckles. Hinata's gaze flickered from him, to the young men behind him and her frown dissolved.

"Oh...Oh no... no..." she shook her head. "No, there will be no Valentine's Day gifts from students to teachers." she shook her head again for good measure. "Not at all." Before their eyes their little sensei turned a bright red that made her eyes shine in her face as bright and lovely as the moon. The boy nearly swooned at her panicked expression.

"Ah.. um... but..." Tosoru began and before he could finish his mindless stutter Sakura came up beside him, pushing a little in front of him to center in Hinata's line of vision. "Hyuuga-sensei, could I speak with you please?"

Her green eyes focused on Hinata's face with a little bit of challenge and Hinata sighed, nodding, anything to avoid any more talk of Valentine's Day. "Certainly, Haruno-san."

"See you in a bit." Ino murmured breathily as she walked by, giving Sakura a little wave as she headed out the door, ponytail swinging with each step.

With her the rest of the class filed out and when the door finally slid closed Hinata turned to Sakura. "Yes?"

For a moment the girl said nothing, looking down at her hands with her green eyes as though thinking. Hinata studied her in that second against the glass of the windows, with only the artificial lights from above to light her she was still beautiful. Everything about her was the right size and shape, from her round green eyes, to her long elegant legs. Biting her lip Hinata pondered what she would look like next to Sasuke and felt herself wince internally, forcing herself to look away.

"I... I wanted to ask, about... um, the reason that Principal Tsunade decided to go through with this class. I have had an official reprimand and my parents are very upset." She began slowly, picking up more and more force as her words continued. Hinata felt herself tighten all over, eyes lingering on the rows and rows of empty desks in the classroom, listening to the echoes of the boys and Ino heading out of the empty school, the sound of their laughter and teasing ricocheting over the walls and up to them.

"I wanted to ask if perhaps you told on me because you and Sasuke- um... Uchiha-sensei are together?"

Hinata's eyes snapped up to her face, her stunned expression not easily coaxed away, and whatever passed over her seemed to be what Sakura expected.

"He told me..." she began, her voice shaking.

"No." Hinata shook her head, cutting her off before she could continue. "No, I'm not with Uchiha-sensei, Haruno-san. I, we're co-workers- friends even... but I'm not..."

"Demo.."Sakura breathed in, her eyes fixated on her face. "I saw you in the hall."

Blinking Hinata nodded. "Hai, I was... upset... and Uchiha-sensei is very kind..."

"Why did you tell on me?" she mumbled finally, glaring at the ground in front of her teacher's feet. "If you're not with him, is it that you want to be?"

Startled again Hinata shook her head. "Haruno-san. I did not tell on you, Yamanaka-san, Ino's mother filed a report against Uchiha-sensei in regards to you. He was in trouble and I told the truth." she frowned a little, although not unkindly. "I'm sorry that you have had to deal with some of those consequences, however..."

"He likes me."

Irritation bloomed over Hinata's features for the first time in the conversation and a frown lingered on her face, clenching her jaw she sighed. "No, he does not."

"He told me that... if it weren't for his job... "

"Sakura, that is not what he meant."

"I graduate this year." Sakura snapped, looking up at her finally. "I won't be his pupil anymore."

"It's not just that." Hinata sighed, getting the sudden urge to shake her. "It might not be against the rules but there are things that grown, mature, kind men do not allow themselves to do and that includes-"

"You can't just have him." Sakura interrupted, making Hinata blink. "When I graduate I will find him, I will tell him."

Sighing Hinata let her shoulders droop, turning away to the darkness of the evening, wishing she was home. Or literally anywhere but where she was standing.

"...I know a little about unrequited love." Hinata whispered, surprising Sakura enough to make her look at her again despite the tears pouring down her cheeks. "...it's exhausting, and yet all consuming." gently she cocked her head at her own reflection in the dark window, studying the small delicate bones of Sakura's face in front of her and then her own older ones, now more prominent in her passing grief than they had ever been in high school.

"Don't let it eat you." she shrugged. "It passes... even if it comes to be it passes sometimes." She sighed, turning to look at her, startled with the angry hurt expression on Sakura's face, her cheeks pink with her displeasure.

"It doesn't matter what you or the school say." she picked up her bag with shaking fingers. "I love him."

And with that she stormed out of the class leaving Hinata standing in the empty room tiredly, shaking her head.

* * *

The train ride and walk back to the apartment had been thankfully uneventful but by the time she finally entered the apartment and lowered her purse to remove her shoes she was so hungry and tired she could hardly decide what was more important, food or sleep.

"Tadaima." she called quietly, and then sniffed the air with puzzled interest.

"Hi!" Haku called, breaking the pleasant quiet with his call. Hinata entered the house to find the kids, Sasuke and Kiba sitting around the table, Kiba with chopsticks shoved under his upper lip like walrus tusks and Sasuke shaking his head at him.

The table was laid out with dinner, rice, and a beautifully oven roasted fish on vegetables that was making the house smell amazing in it's ginger and honey sauce.

"That's... not what I made for dinner." Hinata whispered, staring.

Kiba's face suddenly brightened with a blush. "Ah... yes... I may have accidentally left the casserole in the oven with the plastic wrap on it..."

Blinking Hinata looked over to the kitchen where her casserole dish was sitting by an open window, black around the edges and with a layer of melted plastic goo on top. "Oh dear."

"Uncle Sasuke made fish!" Haku jumped up and down on the spot, supporting himself with his hands on the table, making everything on it shake.

"Oh!" Hinata blinked, staring at Sasuke like he was a new thing. "You... you cook."

"I know." Kiba agreed with her shocked tone. "I know, that's what I said."

"Just sit." Sasuke grumbled, pointing at the spot set next to Sora. Slowly Hinata lowered herself to the floor beside her daughter at the little table, studying the food with increasingly stupefied eyes.

"It looks amazing, Sasuke-kun."

"If you didn't sound so incredibly stunned I might have taken that as a compliment."

"He's sore." Kiba smirked, scooping rice into Haku's bowl next to him. "He had to run out to get the fish last minute and he didn't want the kids eating so late but, that's life sometimes."

"Life with you." Sasuke retorted sullenly.

Hinata smiled suddenly, watching as the two boys handed the kids water and their utensils, Sasuke cutting up Sora's fish and picking out the bones without Hinata having to even ask.

All of a sudden she blinked, touching her face to find tears on her cheeks.

"Oh dear."

"What's the matter, Oka-san?" Haku's face looked stunned, his expression panicked. Sasuke and Kiba paused their work to blink at her as she sat there, rubbing the tears away.

"Sorry!" She gasped, grabbing a napkin to stem the flow of salt and water from her face. "I'm...sorry... " and she laughed, surprising everyone's worried eyes at the table. Pulling her shoulders into herself a bit she sighed. "I'm...really happy..."

Haku's face changed, from night to day a grin spread over his features and his bouncing resumed. "Yay!"

"Yay!" Sora agreed, waving her fork over her head wildly.

"Ack!" Kiba gasped, grabbing the cups of water before they spilled all over everything as the table bounced along with the child.

Hinata felt herself smile, rubbing the tears away with the back of her hand still as the kids settled again.

"Thank you." she murmured, glancing at Sasuke who had yet to take his eyes off her. At her word he nodded slightly, passing her Sora's plate without comment.

* * *

The children were finally sleeping, Sora refusing to drift off unless Kiki sat next to her bed and held her hand the entire time, and not until she was well and truly snoring was Sasuke allowed out of the room, stretching and blinking sleepily as he stepped out.

"Nearly passed out right?" Kiba inquired, before blowing lightly on the tea Hinata had just handed him.

Sasuke rubbed his face, "Hn." He grunted, starting as Hinata handed him a warm cup. "Thanks."

"Hai."

"Which one should we read?" Kiba murmured thoughtfully, flipping through the letters. Several of the envelopes had happy face stickers on them that Hinata placed as each one was read aloud, although the truth was they could barely get through one or two before Kiba called it quits, watching the emotions threaten to overwhelm both his friends was almost as bad as feeling it himself.

"Here's one." He murmured, pulling the letter out of the already opened envelope.

"Hai." Hinata nodded, settling herself down on the wall of her room beside Sasuke, making him scoot over slightly.

 _"Sauke-teme,"_ Kiba smirked over at Sasuke. "I love this guy, by the way."

Hinata smiled behind her cup as Sasuke glared at Kiba. "Move along."

 _"Sasuke-teme,_

 _Today was my fifth wedding anniversary."_

Kiba's eyes raised to Hinata and she blinked rapidly at him, frozen in place besides the fluttering of her lashes.

"Hina-chan?" Kiba whispered. Beside her Sasuke looked down, breathing slowly, knowing what was coming.

"It's okay." Hinata nodded, gripping her cup tightly. "It's fine."

 _"Today is my fifth wedding anniversary. I'm writing this to you while Hinata showers before we go out. She's been working so hard with the kids that she barely has time to brush her teeth in the morning. I don't know how she does it. She's taking so many courses through the university's online classes and somehow managing to keep the house from falling apart and the kids happy._

 _I finally asked her about getting some help around the house and she looked both sad and relieved but I couldn't let her keep going the way she was._

 _I wish I knew how to describe to you what she does to me, with that smile that's so shy it's barely there... and her eyes that seem to shine as though they make their own light. I am having trouble believing I have had her with me for five years. I do not deserve a minute of her time, let alone five years... and the thing is, we're at five years and she's still here, as if she intends to stay with me forever."_

Kiba's eyes flickered up in time to see Hinata's head slowly press to her knees, her breathing shaky.

Glancing at Sasuke who nodded Kiba took a breath and continued.

 _"Sometimes, when I really realize how breathtaking she is I worry. I really do. I sit at work, or at home, or wherever and just worry, that someone will wander by and see her, someone with more to offer than I ever have and that nothing will be able to keep her with me._

 _But that's the thing about Hinata, Sasuke, the thing that I admire the most about her, she knows what she wants. And for whatever reason she has made this astounding decision that she wants me._

 _I think if she had known that my determination to keep you a part of my life was so fixated maybe she would have hesitated, no one wants to be attached to you even by association teme, but thank goodness for me because she's still here. Five years in._

 _When I think about the rest of the years coming up I get so freaking excited, I can't wait to be a grandpa, to have our 50th wedding anniversary with great grandbabies and you old bastard with someone with you please, someone who hits you with her cane whenever you glare at a living thing."_

Suddenly Hinata's fingers were gripping his hand, and Sasuke looked at her, startled by shaking of her palm against his, clenching so hard her knuckles turned white. Slowly, carefully he squeezed back.

 _"I think Hinata is getting out of the shower, which I will not describe because, it's too amazing to be put into words, and also too important for me to pass up writing a damn letter to you. So just know, I miss you... I wish you the best, the same happiness that I am blessed with._

 _I hope to hear about it soon, I hope we can be old buddies in our wheelchairs, even if we miss out on the middle part. It's always the start and finish that are important in a race anyway, right?_

 _your brother, always_

 _-Naruto,"_

Kiba sighed deeply, folding the letter up. "God."

Hinata's soft sobs broke the stillness and gently she lowered her cup to the ground beside her, moving to put her hands on her face, but still tangled in Sasuke's grip she felt herself being pulled suddenly. His arms encircled her and carefully dragged her into his lap where she hiccuped sadly, her trembling passing through her body and into his as though they were one organism.

"Kinda get why you wanted to do this with us." Kiba mumbled, shifting through the letters in front of him again to find another.

"He would have liked you." Hinata's wet voice reached him from behind Sasuke's grip, making him glance up at her for a moment, a sad smile on his face that was partly due to the letter, partly due to something small and petty he would never voice.

"I like him too, Hina-chan. I really do."

And without waiting he went into another one, watching out of the corner of his eye as Hinata's shoulders began to relax against Sasuke's chest, her tremors slowing with his hand rubbing up and down her back over her sweater.

 _"...Haku is turning four this February. I cannot believe I just wrote that. Haku is almost four. I can't believe he doesn't know you. It boggles my mind. I can't figure out what to get him for his birthday. Hinata always figures out presents for Christmas. She's good at gifts, has always been, so I don't often do much for birthdays and stuff but this being his fourth birthday I'm freaking out._

 _I always wanted to get my kid something amazing for milestone birthdays, the big ones you know. Five, ten, fifteen, and that glorious moment when you get to have your first beer without looking for a cop over your shoulder, ya know?_

 _But I have to admit I feel like his fourth birthday snuck up on me and now I'm freaking out about the fifth. He's not even four yet and I'm already panicking._

 _I've been thinking of getting him a tool kit. A real one none of the plastic kid crap. He's pretty good with the ones I have but they're too heavy so I've been looking around to see if I can find smaller ones so he can take shit apart. He went at the old radio I had when I threw it in the recycling and actually managed to get it pretty much disassembled before I knew what he was up to._

 _You'd know exactly what I was talking about. Hinata looked worried about it being dangerous and stuff but kids find dangerous things the most fun, you know? And he could help me figure out stuff around the house. Honestly I think that he would probably be teaching me some things too, he's got his mom's ability in that I'm completely hopeless and materials and tools actually make sense to him._

 _Fuck, I can't keep writing this. You should be here. You just disappeared and that was a dick move and I hate that Hinata gets so upset about these damn letters but I can't stop writing because if you get this I really need you to call me._

 _I won't even punch you when I see you. Okay, maybe that's too unlikely a thing for me to promise but beating the shit out of each other would be better than this black hole you've gone to._

 _Hinata is prepping Christmas dinner today, it's a process to get it done and she always spends inordinate amounts of time on it. I think because she enjoys it. Sometimes I'm astounded that I got both a good cook and a hottie for a wife. Usually they're one or the other. I sometimes want to ask her to make something you'd like, just in case..._

 _Wish you would surprise me one day_

 _-Naruto."_

"Haku's birthday..." Hinata whispered, glancing at the calendar on her wall with sad eyes. "It's less than ten days away."

"We'll have a cake." Kiba supplied, studying the writing on the letter carefully, wondering what it would have been like to know this man in person, to have him love you as he seemed to love everyone around him.

"But the tool box." Hinata sighed. "Where do I get a-"

"I already have it."

Kiba and Hinata looked at Sasuke, Hinata peering up at him from his lap with a look of surprise that was mixed with something else.

"You... you what?"

"I have it. I got it back in December." He shrugged, his hand still moving up and down her back, almost of it's own volition as she had long ago stopped crying. Realizing suddenly her position Hinata slowly extracted herself from his grip, continuing her confused blinking at him.

"You have it all?"

"Yes." He nodded, folding himself up around his knees to avoid shivering at the lack of her body heat. "When I read the letter, I went out and got it for him." His dark eyes lingered on her face, watching surprise, disbelief and confusion flit over her features slowly, settling for a moment on something else that he had not seen before.

"Oh." she whispered, standing with her cup in her hand to go to the sink, her eyes travelling over anything that wasn't Sasuke.

Kiba bit his lip slightly as he stood as well. "Well, I have to go I think. I have to be at the school early for the track and field team."

"I'll come with you." Sasuke started, moving to get his jacket on only to have Kiba shake his head furtively, giving him a small smile while Hinata had her back to them.

Puzzled Sasuke stared at him, unwilling to break the silence.

"I'll see ya, Hina-chan!"

Turning rapidly towards them Hinata blinked, watching him already opening the door down the hall. "Oh... ano- bye-Kiba-kun!"

And he was gone, leaving them in the stillness of the evening.

Suddenly very aware of her standing beside him Sasuke sighed, leaning against the wall with his arms purposefully crossed over his chest.

"T...thank you for making dinner today, Sasuke-kun." Hinata nodded, taking a small step back. "I really appreciate you not just buying the kids junk... I already cut a lot of corners with their diet."

"It's fine." He nodded, rubbing the back of his neck slightly. "Did class go okay today? Any more fights?"

Hinata blinked up at him, looking away as her pale eyes met his in the dim lighting. "Ah... no... but...Sakura had some interesting things to say to me today."

Surprise flickered on his face for a second. "Haruno-san?"

"Yeah..." Hinata shrugged mildly, then smirked, to his surprise with a bit of distaste. "She's madly in love, you know."

Interested in the tone in her voice he cocked his head. "You sound..." he studied her from the new angle as though it would reveal something fascinating. "...annoyed?"

Hinata blinked at him, feeling heat rising to her face in a way it had not done in his presence for some time. "No, well yes a little, because... she's very persistent and nothing but trouble."

"Tsunade-san knows now about it, it shouldn't be hard to convince her with you backing me." Sasuke continued, curiosity loosening his tongue.

"She told me that after graduation she would be coming to you." Hinata put in, studying his face to watch his expression. "I think she willingly misunderstood the last talk you two had."

Sighing Sasuke closed his eyes, leaning his head back against the wall, exposing the long smooth length of his neck, the strong curve of his jaw, the elegant sweep of his collarbone.

Hinata ripped her eyes away, frowning, fingers fluttering to her lips to rid herself of the strange tingling whispering over her skin.

"I can't do much if things are being willingly misunderstood."

"No, not really." Hinata nodded, crossing her arms and leaning against the opposite wall of the room. Suddenly remembering she laughed. "Oh!"

"What?"

"I had a student ask me what the policy of the school was, regarding students giving teachers Valentine's day gifts, but I completely misunderstood..."

Sasuke had perked up considerably and was watching her intently as she laughed. "What? What is his name?"

"Tosoru? I think? But I thought he meant what was the policy on teachers receiving Valentine's Day gifts... from anyone. I figured, well, if a teacher receives a Valentine's Day gift we should throw a party, hardly any of us have a life outside of work so..."

"But he meant if he gave you one."

"I think so. Maybe not though." She looked unconvinced. "In fact I'm really doubting that now, why would he even-"

"Oh, Hinata."

"Nani?"

Smiling slightly Sasuke shook his head at her as she blinked at him owlishly. "What?"

"Nothing."

"...you and Kiba-kun say that a lot."

"Hn." Sasuke grunted, but at the mention of Kiba he pushed away from the wall. "I should go."

"Okay." she murmured, following him towards the hall to lock up, watching as he slipped his coat on.

"Ne...Sasuke-kun?"

"Hm."

"If...if Sakura-chan does come to you after graduation..."

Puzzled Sasuke looked up from putting on his shoes watching her studying her fingers as though they were the most interesting things in the world.

"Hm?"

"...ano... I mean it wouldn't be against the rules then, would it? For you to... um..." her eyes fluttered briefly to his face and like a butterfly unsure of landing moved away again.

"Why are you even asking me that?"

"Ah..." she gasped. "Gomen. It was rude... It's none of my business what you-"

"Hinata, why did you ask that?"

Blinking rapidly Hinata let her eyes flicker back down the hall to the safety of her family room, her kitchen, her bedroom...

"I just think sometimes...when you get a girlfriend or get married...how will I...explain it to Haku...or Sora?" she frowned, reaching up to push her bangs gently away from her face.

A little exasperated Sasuke stood. "We've talked about this."

"Yeah, but..."

"Stop." He shook his head, wanting to reach out and take her chin to turn her eyes towards him, resisting only because he had a good grip on the door knob, and Kiba would likely be getting to the train station by now, if he didn't catch him now he wouldn't be able to talk to him until at school.

"Okay." Hinata mumbled, and Sasuke sighed.

"Good night.'

"'Night." she didn't meet his eyes, even as she gently closed and locked the door behind him, leaving him in the hall unsure of what just happened.

* * *

To his chagrin Kiba was not to be found, vanishing from the point of departure from Hinata's house all the way until Thursday morning where Sasuke finally cornered him in his class at lunch.

"You're avoiding me." Sasuke snapped as he entered by passing pleasantries in his irritation. Kiba didn't even bother turning around from erasing his chalk board, rolling his eyes even though Sasuke couldn't see it.

"I see your high IQ is good for some things."

"Why are you avoiding me?"

"No reason, I just needed a break. We've been in each other's faces a lot lately."

Sasuke glanced at the hall where students were still lingering and quietly closed the door to the class.

"I tried to talk to you on Tuesday night after Hinata's house. Why did you leave without me?"

"I didn't chain you to the apartment, Uchiha. You could have come with me, I would not have been able to stop you harassing me all the way to the train station."

"I went after you a few minutes after." Sasuke frowned, confused by his statement. "I looked for you, the train came and you didn't get on it. I'd know since I did get on, expecting to see you there."

"I decided to walk." Kiba shrugged, finally turning to him and whacking the chalk eraser with a stick sharply. "It was a nice night for a walk."

Feeling a little like they were having a lovers spat Sasuke closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose. "Kiba."

"Sasuke."

"What the hell?"

Letting out a sigh that was part irritation and part amusement Kiba tossed the eraser and stick on the desk.

"You had her in your lap, Sasuke."

Blinking rapidly Sasuke started, as though slapped. "What?"

"You sat there with her in your lap and I just figured- if they start going at it, I really shouldn't be here, so I just removed myself." Kiba raised his hands up. "Crazy me, I thought maybe that was what you wanted."

"No!" Sasuke shook his head. "She was upset... I... I didn't want her to sit there sobbing..." he swallowed, and then sighed. "I'm sorry."

"No, don't apologize." Kiba looked insulted. "I can handle rejection fine, I just needed a little bit of room to process that's all."

"Rejection? Kiba, I'm not with Hinata."

"Okay then." Sarcasm could not have birthed a more irritated sentence.

Outside the window the sun was suddenly hidden, heavy wet clouds lingered in the skies, setting the light in the room dancing in grays and golds and cool blues in turn with the swimming precipitation in the heavens.

"You said she knew her own mind." Sasuke finally managed, struggling to keep his temper, and mostly just because he was surprised by Kiba's hurt expression, the panic at the idea of having done something cruel again to a friend making him flounder.

"She does. It's obviously you."

"Would she have pushed you away if you had held her?" Sasuke frowned, daring him with his answer and Kiba paused, looking out at the storm coming in with hesitation.

"I...I don't know."

"Exactly."

"Sasuke." Kiba sighed, and the irritation was replaced in his tone by a deep tiredness. "I listen to the stories in these letters, I say them in my own voice and I picture you with this guy going through all these things together, and then Hinata sits there and weeps because of all the things she went through with him and I see you two together and I don't know what I was ever thinking looking at her that way."

Flinching Sasuke shook his head. "She's not like that- she's not thinking of me that way. When you left she asked me, if Sakura approached me after graduation if I would take her up on her offer."

Kiba winced slightly at him. "Don't you think maybe that's because she's worried you will?"

Startled Sasuke frowned. "No... she..." shaking his head he sighed. "No, Kiba... I can't."

"Can't what?"

"I can't be with her."

"The fuck not?" Kiba shook his head at him. "For God's sake, I thought you were getting better, not stupider."

"Stop. I'm serious."

"So am I."

"I can't be with her, she's Naruto's wife." Sasuke looked at him, the same bone tired sound coming out of his mouth as Kiba had used earlier. Kiba stared at him incredulously for a second, then scoffed. "You're serious?"

"Yes, I...I can't do that-"

"Naruto is dead, Uchiha."

Feeling the anger roll in his chest again Sasuke moved towards the door. "Forget it."

"You- you keep forgetting." Kiba snapped, grabbing his shoulder before he got to the door and turning him around forcefully. "You screwed up, you ignored him and he's gone. You didn't get to see him go, you didn't mourn him but he IS gone, Sasuke." his brown eyes bore into Sasuke' black. "She's not married, Sasuke. If she were I wouldn't be so pissed at you right now for snatching her before I could even get my foot in the door, believe me."

"I can't snatch Hinata." Sasuke grunted. "You know that as much as I do. What was it you said on New Years? Let's not get ahead of ourselves?"

Kiba blinked, letting his hand drop to his side before rubbing his face tiredly. "Yes...I know... you're right."

"Stop avoiding me." Sasuke snapped, opening the door with a snap of the wood slamming . "It's annoying."

"You're annoying. Also, I have plans this evening, so you're gonna have to deal with the kids at the end by yourself." Kiba retorted loudly at him, earning a glare from his friend as he stormed out the door and down the hall, getting glances from their students all around.

"Well, damn." Kiba sighed. It did sound like a lover's spat after all.

Down the hall Hinata suddenly peeked at him from a classroom, her eyes wide. "Kiba-kun? Is everything okay?"

"Yep!" Inuzuka grinned, flashing her a thumbs up sign. "Peachy!"

Puzzled Hinata blinked at him, cocking her head in that way that always made him hurt a little.

* * *

It was raining like the heavens had had their heart broken. She stared out of the school doors, with her jaw so tight it hurt her teeth, her jacket zipped up to her neck and her hood on, but she didn't move.

Outside the sky was black, storm clouds had come in like they did several nights before but because of the cram session she had to teach in the evening there had been no hope for leaving before it began to really pour. Staring at it she could see the tiny rivers that were forming on the school lawn as the dirt was pelted by the downpour and mud replaced it.

The glow from the streetlights was round and warm in the darkness, ignoring the missiles of water that were running through their light, and above in the distance she could see the moon, peeking between the moving writhing darkness of the clouds.

She swallowed, her eyes trained on the sidewalk, knowing that stepping out into that rain was going to be necessary. She was already late for the train, which meant an extra fifteen minutes until she got home from waiting on the platform for the next one. Kiba had had to go home early, leaving Sasuke alone with the kids for the first time since they had begun their odd babysitting duties and although she had no doubt they were safe anxiety was eating at her insides to get back.

But she stood there, staring at the rain.

She had much preferred the snow. In the snow she could see the blue of Naruto's eyes, could picture him throwing himself backwards onto piles of it and showing Haku how to make snow angels, his laughter ringing in the stillness of the ice.

In the spring she could see him holding Sora up to the trees in their full bloom, letting her bury her face among the plum blossoms in their yard, her giggling bouncing on the multicolored glass bottles they hung from the branches to reflect the light of the evening sun.

In the fall she could see him raking up the leaves in their yard, laughing whenever Haku ran over to spread them everywhere again, and again and again, the yellows and golds that washed their town in blazing glory holding no contest to the beauty of his hair as she ran her hand through it.

But the rain.

She stared at it, her heart hammering, watching the ink black of the water shooting through the light of the streetlights some more, swallowing she pushed the door open, and felt the blast of the cool air, the humidity lingering on the skin of her face.

She had to get home...

Slowly she stepped out, pulling her hood over her head protectively, feeling the first touch of the water on her body, sending shivers down her back.

 _Hina-chan... it's okay, you've got this..._ His voice lingered in her mind, the memory of his hand on the small of her back whenever hesitation overwhelmed her making her press her lips together in a line before stepping forward another step.

She had to get home.

Sighing, she rushed out into the darkness of the downpour, trying to keep herself from joining in the rain with her tears.

* * *

"Demo..." Haku was arguing with eloquence and calm, even though his chin was wobbling a little as Sasuke settled Sora in her bed.

"Oka-san always puts us to bed." He whispered, eyes lifting from his hands where his fingers were twisting tightly.

Sasuke nodded, pulling the covers back on his futon carefully. "Yes, I know... I'm sure she will come in and say good night when she comes home. She's only a little late so I'm sure she will be home any minute."

Haku glanced outside through his window, watching the tendrils of water leaving trails along the glass.

"It's raining." He whispered softly, and a little shiver passed through his body. Sasuke frowned, crouching down in front of him to look at his face. "Are you cold, Haku-kun?"

The boy didn't reply, swallowing he stared at his hands some more. "Oka-san... doesn't like the rain."

Worry began to fester in Sasuke's mind suddenly, worry he had been trying to dismiss the moment she was late by a second. Hinata always arrived right on time when she was rushing home to the kids late in the evenings, always tired and windswept but on time, like clock work.

"How about I call her, okay? You get into bed and read some of your books."

Haku complied, crawling into his bed in his dinosaur pajamas with some trepidation. "She will come say good night when she's home?"

"I'm sure she will." Sasuke murmured, turning the night stand light on beside him and flicking off the room light. Instantly the room was awash in the glowing stars that were stuck to the ceiling.

"Uncle Sasuke?" Haku called suddenly, and a tiny hand grabbed on to him, pulling. Surprised Sasuke bent down, feeling the tiny sweet breaths of the child on his face in the dark.

"If...if something happens to my Oka-san...do we stay with you?"

Startled Sasuke sat down beside the bed, partly for his sake, partly to lend some importance to the conversation that had suddenly dropped into his lap.

"Nothing is going to happen to your Oka-san, Haku." He began slowly, trying to peer at him in the dark and finding only the reflection of the stars in his eyes.

"But my daddy." he whispered in reply, unconvinced. "My daddy... he..."

Unprepared and wholly unsure of how to continue Sasuke stared at him, tightening his hold on the tiny hand that held his with such fervor.

"Haku... what happened to your Otou-san, that doesn't happen often. Your Oka-san is just fine."

"But if something does happen." Haku pressed, and the wet in his voice made Sasuke sigh, reaching up to feel the tears on his cheek.

"If something happens to your Oka-san... I will be with you."

"My daddy said... that you would... if something happened to him."

The air escaped his lungs like he had been struck. Sasuke let his head hang for a second, burying his face into his one hand as he sucked in a breath.

"Well... I'm here, right?"

"Hai." Fingers suddenly touched his head and he looked up, just in time to feel the tiny body of Naruto's son wrap his arms around his neck, drowning him in the scent of baby shampoo.

"Good night, Uncle Sasuke."

Unable to speak Sasuke squeezed, settling him back down in his bed gently and tucking him in. "...g..good night, Haku-kun."

Slowly and feeling heavier than he had in a long time Sasuke stepped out of the room, closing the door quietly behind him only to lean against it, eyes closed against the dim light of Hinata's lamps throughout the apartment.

 _My god, Naruto..._

Sighing he pushed away from the door, pulling his phone out of his pocket to check the time. She was late, definitely late. Nearly an hour late.

Biting his lip distractedly he dialed her number, listening to the ringing as he tidied up the dishes from dinner without really paying attention until her soft voice answered.

 _"You're reached Hyuuga Hinata, I'm not available to take your call-"_

Growling he hung up, and dialed again.

And again.

And again.

* * *

 _ **I hope you're all freaking out as much as I was when I wrote this and realized I had no clue what happened until I looked at my plot notes.**_

 _ **Suffer with me, will ya?**_

 _ **leave me some love, ne?**_

 _ **-inky**_


	13. Chapter 13

_**A.N**_

 _ **So I looked at myself for the first time in a few days in front of the mirror. Holy moly. I have got to get some sleep people. I posted three chapters yesterday, one of which was my longest chapter yet and which I fought to put off but simply could not.**_

 _ **I have a feeling that if you're reading anything else I have posted that is unfinished you will just have to wait until I have finished this, it is dominating my mind right now and I'm not going to lie about how happy I am about it.**_

 _ **I kind of lost my footing a little bit during Chapter Ten, Eleven and got back into the groove at about Chapter 12, but I reread them and I was wincing at some editing issues I could see right off the bat. Hit me with your criticisms.**_

 _ **This one is still a bit on the shaky side, but we're getting some traction again. I am unhappy with some of the arrangement of scenes... if you see something that you're like "Hey... that would have been better before or after X thing" please tell me, I have read this thing about a dozen times, I'm getting sick of rearranging it and want to move on.**_

 _ **Much love,**_

 _ **Inky**_

* * *

 _It had been the one time that she had seen him actually genuinely scared. Not scared, terrified._

 _Holding her in his arms his tears had run down his face, they dropped down against her cheek, mixing with her own as she stared up at him, watching as the black ate at her vision, raising her hand to touch his skin, watching with surprise as crimson blood slid across his chin where her fingers lingered_

 _The terror ate at his azure gaze, his voice sobbed her name, his lips kissed her cheek._

 _In her mind a soft quiet voice marveled at his beauty even as he wept into her neck, holding her in his lap like a child._

 _"Hinata! Oh my god, please.."_

 _Sobs. Had she ever heard that heart breaking sound rip his vocal chords before? She listened, feeling both inside her body and outside of it, her dress was ruined, it was the one he liked the most on her. There was so much blood._

 _"Hinata, please..."_

 _Out the window of the car she could see the passing trees, the rain as it struggled against the glass and metal of the vehicle._

 _"Naruto." she tried to say it firmly, tried to grasp his hand, to assure him._

 _She could smell the masculine scent of his fear, it was overly sweet and rich like dark chocolate with spices._

 _"Naruto."_

 _"We're almost at the hospital."_

 _"Naruto."_

 _"Neji- there's so much blood! Neji!"_

 _Her cousins voice shouted something back from the front of the car and she closed her eyes. Just for a second, it would only be for a second._

 _"Hinata!" His scream made her wince, fighting against the darkness that pulled on her, struggling to breathe. "Hinata! She's not responding!"_

 _"Get her inside."_

I'm dying.

 _It didn't feel as bad as she had thought it might, something about the coolness of her limbs and the numb feeling at her finger tips made her sigh. It was like a large cup of wine with dinner, with her hand held in his, the warmth of his touch making everything blur even more than the taste of the wine's sweetness._

 _"I don't want to be without you." His voice was far away, it was broken and something about it marred the pleasant numbness. She shifted in the stillness of the dark, trying to move her excruciatingly heavy limbs._

 _"Hinata, please, I don't do this, don't leave me."_

I can't die.

 _The weight was so pressing, she could hardly breathe, the pain began to shoot through her and she thought someone had pierced her chest with a knife._

 _"Don't leave me."_

 _Gasping, fighting, the weight was lifting, replaced by the sharp agony of waking._

 _"Hinata!"_

She stayed beneath the shelter of the train station cover, staring out into the darkness of the falling rain. Home was less than fifteen minutes away, in the distance beyond the curve of the road and the quickly filling dike beside it, guarded by a smooth metal railing, and the dark tufts of grass that swayed in the changing angle of the rain.

She had not had the luxury of screaming his name, of demanding he returned. The way Sora had entered the world had nearly destroyed her and the hemorrhage had happened so fast they had been shocked when she survived.

He had not left her side, his grip on her so tight it had drawn her from the darkness, his begging so heart breaking that it had reached her in the stillness, when her heart was ready to sigh away to sleep.

She had not had that gift, that chance, to demand he return to her, to not leave her... It had happened far away, his eyes had closed and she always wondered what he thought of before he sighed his last. Did he wonder why she wasn't there to hold him, to beg?

She shivered in the empty train station, everyone who had somewhere warm to be had braved the touch of the rain and hidden within their safety. Only she remained, staring out at the downpour with her chest pounding, aching in her chest.

With Sora and Haku she could always remain somewhat in control, their little hands anchoring her to the world, keeping the rain from seeping into her mind and starting the acidic consumption of her reason. Shaky and teary she would arrive at home throw all three of them into the shower and in the heat and brightness of her bathroom she would weep, hoping that the water would hide the tears from her babies eyes as she clawed back her grip on her shield of calm.

But it had never rained like this before, not here. And she had never been alone in the dark, facing it. Feeling the shudder of her body she gripped her bag more tightly. She was late, more than late. In her pocket she could feel the first ring of her cell phone and the shake seemed to make her startle awake. For a moment she forgot the blue eyes that had rained onto her face that night when she had nearly bled out in their house as Sora's body tore her mother apart with her gumption for life.

Taking the first step into the rain Hinata shuddered, listening to the thumping of her heart in her ears, speeding and erratic as her gasping breaths.

 _Hina-chan... it's okay, take a deep breath._

But his voice in her head did nothing to calm her, it twisted and changed in her mind to the drowning screams of her beloved and startled she raised her hands to her ears as though she could keep the sound away. It lingered, eating her from the inside out and she paused on the sidewalk, holding on to the railing of the dike for dear life.

Her legs were shaking.

 _I'm having a panic attack._

The calm rational voice in the back of her head made sense even as her blood began to pump more fiercely through her body, feeling cold even as it traveled in her torso through her heart.

The sound of a car cutting through the rain made her start, glancing back over her shoulder in time to see them swerve, over correct and slam on the breaks at the sight of her in their way.

Breath in her throat she blinked, the light of the headlights blinding her before she closed her eyes tight, hoping that the weight of the darkness wouldn't consume her like last time, that it wouldn't feel as good as it did as she bled out her life in the grip of her lover's arms.

* * *

He was pacing, his stomach twisting around painfully inside of his body until he could hardly breathe.

She was late, she was really late.

 _"You've reached Hyuuga Hinata, I'm not able to take your call right now please leave a message-"_

"Hinata." he whispered, turning at the front door and heading back towards the kitchen.

He had cleaned anything that could possibly be cleaned. The kids were sound asleep, in the stillness with only the one light of the lamp in the corner he felt the contrast of calm and terror.

It was well over an hour past her usual arrival time. Pulling the phone out again he stared at the screen, turning and heading back towards the door of the apartment.

 _"Uchiha?"_ Kiba sounded genuinely confused.

"Do you know where Hinata is?"

A long pause followed. _"No... don't you?"_

"She has not come home."

 _"What? What about her cell-?"_

"I've called it a dozen times she's not answering, just keeps ringing and going to voicemail."

He could hear sounds in the distance and someone's voice he did not recognize asking Kiba what was wrong.

 _"Maybe she left it at the school? The rain is insane, Sasuke. She could just be waiting for a late train."_

Sasuke bit his cheek and opened the apartment door, frowning at the sound of commotion down at the stairs leading to the street.

"Maybe." He murmured, not really listening to anything else Kiba was saying.

"I gotta go." He whispered, and Kiba's voice drowned in his ear as he watched the lights of sirens heading down the road, the colors spiraling all the way to his eyes from several streets over.

Dropping his phone by the door he closed the apartment and walked barefoot to the end of the hall, feeling the cold sickening touch of fear slowly tightening it's hold on the organ thumping in his chest.

He watched people in their raincoats and umbrellas peering at the sidewalk. He could see from the distance that there had been an accident, the railing of the dike was broken, police cars and ambulances blocked off the actual place of impact.

A ringing was singing in his ears, gaining force as he stepped down into the downpour without a jacket and bare feet, walking slowly to the sidewalk with a growing panic.

 _...Oka-san doesn't like the rain..._

His feet carried him faster, until he felt himself break out into a run, the rain trailing down his face and neck, soaking his clothes as he pushed into the crowd, straining to see past the umbrellas and rain coats.

 _...if something happens to my Oka-san do we stay with you..._

The voices of the people around him whispered softly, and his eyes strained in the confusing dark and bright of the night. The rain and the spinning red and blue lights of the emergency vehicles disorienting.

"...did they hit someone?"

"...I think they were trying to avoid someone? But he's drunk how would he know...?"

"...that poor girl..."

Sasuke turned, trying to connect the sound of the words to a face, to take their shoulders, to shake them until their teeth rattled and they told him what girl. What girl.

Searching through the crowd his eyes caught the glint of pale eyes reflecting the siren lights in the crowd, her hood was down and unlike the rest she was staring with a pale unresponsive expression.

Breath caught like a vice in his chest he stumbled through the bodies of the crowd, pushing against the coats and umbrellas until her gray gaze turned to him, blinking in confusion.

"...S...sasuke...?"

Tasting the rain on his lips he gasped, trying to catch his breath and unable to, something about the rain on his face was salted, like the ocean.

Like tears.

Almost angrily he stepped forward, dragging her into himself with force, one hand on the small of her back, the other buried in the hair at the nape of her neck.

"Damnit... Damnit, Hinata... I thought..."

Her body shuddered violently against his, hands gripping his shirt so tight the water squeezed from the fibers.

"I'm... I'm so cold...I can't move... the car went into the water..."

Her voice broke and the violent shake of her tremors made his breath already struggling to normalize stumble with worry.

Abruptly he was picking her up, and she hung on, burying her face into the wetness of his neck, feeling her chest expanding hard and fast as she tried to calm herself again.

"You're okay."

"I can't... feel my fingers..."

"Just breathe." his grip on her was like that of her children, tethering her to the earth when she felt like the battering of the wind would take her away. As he walked back to the apartment she hung on, breathing the scent of his hair, feeling the touch of his skin like an anchor bringing her back down.

"...like when I have wine." she whispered, tightening her hands on his clothes. "...my fingers are numb..."

"Hold on." he whispered against her ear and she could feel the touch of his lips against the skin of her lobe making her burn where it made contact.

Uncaring of the stares of the people back at the accident he climbed the steps to her apartment, stepping into it with the guiding glow of his discarded phone on the ground, glimmering with Kiba's name on it.

Kicking it aside Sasuke stepped past it and into the bathroom, turning the shower on with one hand as he lowered her to the floor. Her hands didn't let go, her face pressed hard into the curve of his neck.

"It went into the water." she whispered.

He didn't answer, dumping her bag and jacket on the floor, removing her sweater with trembling cold fingers of his own as steam began to fill the bathroom. For a second his hands shook as they begun to undo the buttons and he wondered if it was the cold or fear.

"The girl got out of the car but... the man... he..."

"Hinata stop, I need to get you warm." Sliding the sweater from her body made him breathless, a smooth pale inch of skin showed above the top of her pants as she shivered again.

"...I didn't do anything."

"Hinata." His eyes refused to look at her face, scared of what he might find there, her pale eyes staring into the sirens had made a pain like a knife shoot through his chest and even as he removed her clothes from her he was too terrified to be awkward.

"I stared at them, from above." Hinata whimpered suddenly, her voice beginning to break. "I watched her scream for him and when he came up for air I was... I was mad."

"No." He shook his head suddenly, taking her face in his hands seeing finally the paleness of her usually pink lips, the tears that were rolling down her cheeks, the emotion that changed from anger to sadness to fear on her face. "No... it's not the same- you're in shock. What happened to Naruto is not the same."

"I just stood there. I didn't even-"

Ignoring her words he picked her up again, forcing her to wrap her legs around his waist as he stepped into the shower with her, drenching them in hot water that seeped slowly through their shirts and jeans, warming them by degrees until their skin was a bright almost painful pink. Wincing against the bite of the heat Hinata squeezed her arms around his neck, a sob echoing in the tile of the bathroom.

"...why did he survive? When Naruto...I wasn't even there... I couldn't even..."

Shaking her head she shuddered against him, feeling the touch of his lips on her forehead. "Oh, Hinata."

"I can't..." and her voice wavered. "I never got to tell him that I couldn't... that I didn't think I could do this without him... I can't do this alone..."

Slowly he lowered himself down to the ground against the wall of the shower, holding her against him with the water rushing over them and the steam moving in clouds around the room, lit only by the light of the moon filtering through the dimpled window above the shower.

"...you're not alone." his whisper was so soft if his lips had not grazed her ear she might not have heard it. Shivering again she pressed a hand to her face, struggling to keep the sobs from clawing up her throat.

"They almost hit me. What if I died? What about my babies? What would they do?"

His grip on her tightened and her soft whimper broke through the hiss of the water. Sighing he felt his shoulders suddenly relax, feeling her heaving sobs against his chest, her voice punctuating the sadness with her muffled cries.

"I have you. I have them too." He sighed, feeling the rhythm of his heart slow finally, with her body pressed to him, safe and sound.

* * *

He woke to the smell of lavender and honey, and the soft breath that reminded him of sunshine and the cool crisp air of winter snow. Eyes closed he allowed himself the moment to take in the heat of her body pressed to him, the curve of her waist beneath his hand, a sliver of skin between her shirt and her pants in contact with his palm on her stomach.

Slowly, almost afraid he peered at her through his lashes, watching in the dark of twilight before the sun rose as she breathed in and out.

Her cheeks had that pink sheen, the one Naruto had told him about, as though she had been blushing in her sleep. The color was welcome compared to the paleness of her lips that had scared him in the dark of the shower. Her breath was soft and it caressed his face, tracing along the line of his cheek and over his lips. For a second his eyes lingered there, on the pink mouth inches from his before he carefully began to pull back.

Breathing softly he slid off her bed, shivering in the sudden cold without her skin. Carefully he straightened out his clothes, thankful that he had had a change in his bag. The way she had looked at him when he began to get his jacket on had wrecked him, her body trembling beneath the covers of her futon with her eyes glowing by the light of the lamp in the hall.

She never said it but he had moved forward despite a whisper in his mind that stated this was a bad idea. Carefully he had arranged her limbs around him, fitting himself to her with the covers between them, and there had been no stunned reaction in her gaze. Tears had welled there as she stared into his face, her nose nearly pressed to his, fingers hanging limp along the curve of his shoulder blade.

"Sleep." He had whispered, and though her eyes never left him slowly her lashes lowered, her breathing steadying from the shivering gasp of air that punctuated her calm every few moments, until eventually she had drifted away to the relieving calm of her dreams.

He had watched and wondered that once upon a time Naruto had laid where he was, trapped in her arms, drunk on her scent.

He had intended that the moment he was sure she wouldn't notice he would leave, but the time drifted slowly by and he remained, watching her breathing, begging his friend for forgiveness when his eyes lingered on her mouth.

Finally the darkness had claimed him too and at the first shift of her body against him he woke, hours later with the sunrise on the way and panic fluttering in his chest at the sight of her there.

 _The kids can't see me here, like this..._

Slowly Sasuke gathered his things, feeling strange sneaking out of her home in the coolness of such an early morning. The long beams of light from the rising sun made him pause at the window, wondering if opening the door at the front would wake Haku who was closest to the exit.

As if to answer his question he heard the sleepy yawn from the other room and a soft giggle that was Sora's voice responding to her brother, the jiggle of their door knob making him start.

Quickly he moved to Hinata's window, opening it slowly and pulling back the curtain to climb out into the hall instead of trying to explain to Haku why he was in his mother's room early in the morning on a Friday.

Her voice made him freeze right before he heaved himself through the opening.

"Sasuke."

Freezing he turned back, and she sat up with a hand to her hair, tired and confused she blinked at him, her face growing warm as he looked back at her. Everything that Naruto had ever told him about her waking was true. Everything he had thought would be her in the sleepiness of morning made his chest ache. Her soft plump mouth frowned a little at him as she pushed her wispy hair from her face with one hand.

"The kids." He whispered, and as if on cue a tiny hand began to jiggle the door knob to her room, making her start awake, turning rapidly towards the doorway, by the time she stumbled to the door and turned back he was gone, the curtain dancing lightly in the breeze of the sky blue day.

* * *

"Did you guys do okay?" Kiba frowned a little at him. Sasuke looked like the worst hangover on two feet and yet also was sounding incredibly sober.

"Not really." The Uchiha admitted reluctantly. "I don't know if it was just the accident or if just being caught in the rain like that freaked her out." He sighed, covering his eyes from the harshness of the fluorescent lights shining from above the teacher's lounge.

"You sounded like crap on the phone last night." Kiba admitted slowly, studying his friend a little more. The circles under his eyes were new, as was the particularly pale sheen to his skin. Blinking rapidly Kiba leaned forward. "It was bad, huh?"

Sasuke didn't move, pressing his hands against his eyes a little harder. "The worst, Inuzuka. It was the worst."

"Shit, I'm sorry."

"Why?"

"I should have been there.." Kiba mumbled, glancing over where Hinata should have been sitting. "I totally ditched you..."

"Where were you by the way?" Sasuke frowned, sitting up suddenly to look at him. "There was someone there."

Kiba shrugged, tapping on his desk with a pen lightly, unable to meet his eyes.

Sasuke had to look at him for a second longer before scoffing. "A date? Really?"

"Don't, Uchiha." the reversal of roles was awkward and neither of the boys were particularly comfortable as Sasuke shook his head. "After that little speech you gave me on Thursday, really?"

"Stop." Kiba's voice was different. There was no tolerance or smirk, his eyes flickered to his friend's face. "I really don't want to talk about it."

Surprised Sasuke looked away, rearranging his desk as he thought. Thinking the conversation was finally over Kiba sighed and began to type up his lesson plan again, fingers clicking along quietly.

For a moment the silence stretched out in relative calm until Sasuke finally said.

"She was ugly wasn't she?"

"Oh my god, so bad." Kiba's defeated voice made Sasuke's tiredness seem to lift a little and he smirked.

"Penance, for ditching."

"Karma for sure."

And they resumed their work quietly, agreeing at least for the moment, to disagree.

* * *

 _ **...I can't say no to her, Sasuke. Sometimes I try, just to see if I can and she doesn't push, she looks at me and cocks her head, her hair gets tousled by the movement and her eyes peer at me, trying to see me clearly. I fight it, her requests are never ridiculous but sometimes I just want to see how far I get with a no. It's never far. She begins to smile a little at a time, as if she knows what I'm up to, but never just says so. In the end I always say yes. It could be something silly like what we're having for dinner or what kind of car we should have, but eventually I just find we end up on the same team.**_

 _ **I don't want to be in anyone else's team but hers. I don't want to agree to anyone else the way I do with her.**_

 _ **It's a little frightening, teme... to be this overwhelmed by a pair of beautiful eyes, to completely break at them being filled with tears. I know you're not big on feeling fear, but...I hope you feel it one day. I hope you look at someone and the terror grips you that if she ever looks from you again, you might die.**_

 _ **You might actually...die..**_

 _Naruto's letter had resonated in his head as he waited for Hinata to change in her room after sobbing in his arms while in the shower. He wondered at the feeling that his friend described. While the kids ate he had lingered over the letters, picking one at random, flipping through the pages and lingering on the words that caught his eyes for no reason except for that he seemed to press harder on the paper when he wrote them than the rest. They haunted him, even as he stared at her closed quiet door and stood to let her know she was leaving._

 _"...Hinata?"_

 _When silence replied he bit his lip and forced his hand to turn the door knob, peering inside. The light was off and as the soft gold of the one lamp behind him filtered in his eyes adjusted. Her wet clothes lay crumpled on the ground, as well as her towel. As his eyes shifted through the shadows he stopped, finding her laying on the bed with her knees to her chest._

 _She blinked at him in the dim light of the lamp, a shirt so big it came nearly to her knees covered her and a pair of pale purple tights hugged her legs to her ankles._

 _She didn't say anything, just stared at him a moment as if studying him anew._

 _"...do you want some tea?"_

 _Closing her eyes quietly she buried deeper into the covers of her futon, shoulders hunching around herself._

 _"No..."_

 _Hesitating Sasuke stepped into her room, holding on to the door frame still, like the edge of a cliff._

 _"...I'll tell Tsunade-san that you won't be in tomorrow."_

 _One eye opened slowly again, reflecting the light behind him. Slowly she raised her hand to him and he felt himself lean towards it, the tug of his fingers on the door frame making him hesitate for a second._

 _ **...It's a little frightening, teme... to be this overwhelmed by a pair of beautiful eyes...**_

 _Feeling himself let go of the frame he breathed in deep, taking a hesitant few steps into her room and settling on her bed with a sigh, feeling her hand tangle her fingers with his._

 _ **...I hope you look at someone and the terror grips you..**_

 _Trying to stop the careening of his heart like a caged bird in his chest he glanced at her, surprised by her still unabashed gaze on his face. Trembling like small delicate branches in the wind her fingers tightened against his._

 _ **...I can't say no to her, Sasuke. Sometimes I try, just to see if I can...**_

 _Taking a deep shuddering breath Sasuke sighed again, feeling her pulling his hand in against her, her grip vicelike._

 _"...I'll come by tomorrow, after work..."_

 _Her pale eyes remained impassive on his, searching quietly for something. He stared back, feeling each pump of blood in his jugular._

 _How many seconds did he last against her gaze? One? Two?_

 _ **I just want to see how far I get with a no... It's never far.**_

 _Slowly he settled down beside her, feeling her curl her body around his, tucking her face against his neck as she shivered again._

 _He slid his hands up her back, trying to steady his breathing, feeling the smooth curve of her shoulder blades through her shirt._

 _ **It's never far.**_

 _Naruto had been right._

 _It felt a little like terror._

Remembering the way he had ended up at Hinata's apartment at the break of dawn was not helping him knock on the door.

Staring at the entrance of Hinata's apartment Sasuke wondered suddenly if maybe he should have called before just appearing there. It was a Friday night which despite seeing each other more regularly than other people neither Kiba nor he had ever spent with Hinata.

He wondered for a moment what she did on a regular Friday after work. Picking the kids up from daycare, getting dinner. Did they go out to dinner? Maybe they weren't even home?

Blinking rapidly he stared at the door some more, leaning more and more towards not knocking, coming back with Kiba in tow sometime during the weekend, maybe taking the kids to the park so she could sleep...

The buzzing in his pocket made him close his eyes, and quietly he pulled the phone out, staring at the name on the screen for a second before picking up.

"Hello."

 _"...Hi..."_

The silence extended for a long moment and he listened to her breathing, and then both tried to speak at once, stopping abruptly. He could almost feel the heat of her face through the cell phone.

 _"...you said... you would...you mentioned that you might..."_

"I'm outside."

 _"Oh."_

And as the door opened and she peered at him with her phone to her ear she blinked again. "Oh."

Smirking a little he hung up, watching her lower her cell to her side.

She looked tired, the kind of tired that was pretty. Her hair in a bun that was leaving wispy bits of darkness along her cheeks and neck, wearing a sweatshirt that had their highschool name printed across the front but was entirely too many sizes too big.

"...that's..." he paused and blinked at her. "...that's my sweatshirt."

Startled Hinata looked down at her self, puzzled out of her awkwardness by his statement.

"No." she said it so firmly he actually wondered if she was right for a second, until he chuckled. "Yes, it is."

"No... I... this was..."

"Naruto borrowed it from me."

His name made her hands slide over the fabric against her stomach gently, blinking rapidly. "I... I had no..."

"I know, I just..." he sounded so amused she looked up at his face, watching him reaching out to touch the pen stain on the right arm shaped like a heart. "I haven't thought about this thing in...years..."

"He wore it all the time, until I stole it from him." Hinata volunteered, almost by way of apology. Sasuke's gaze slid from the shirt to her face and he watched with growing nerves as her cheeks slowly warmed at his gaze.

"Good." he nodded, unsure if he was going to say anything else when Sora came tumbling down the hall helter skelter on her short little legs. "Kiki!"

"Come on in." Hinata opened the door wider, stepping out of the way as her toddler threw herself into Sasuke's grip, while her mother strained to slow the rapid thundering of her heart.

* * *

 _ **I felt this chapter started off really strong and kind of dwindled away near the end. I'm not sure why it did that. This, along with Chapter ten and maybe chapter 11 will definitely be getting a rewrite-major-edit-gong-show in the near future.**_

 _ **leave me some love, ne?**_

 _ **-inky**_


	14. Chapter 14

_**A.N**_

 _ **There is a scene in this where I was listening to nightcore lol. Specifically Take a Hint, nightcore version and Angel with a Shotgun.**_

 _ **Please note that the lyrics are a little bit off for the mood of the scene but that the energy isn't, if you do decide to listen to it. It's pretty obvious where the boppity (yes, boppity, it's a word, I've decided) music influenced the chapter.**_

 _ **Thank you so much for all your lovely insightful reviews.**_

 _ **Shadow of Miracles: I just read your review where you mentioned that you liked the mention of Shino and I am SO glad you said so because when I wrote it I felt so sad too, and I was actually sad enough that I considered taking it out. I have a soft spot for Shino so killing him before the story even got going seemed awful to me, but the chapter didn't feel right without it, so I left it in.**_

 _ **NewRageInc- what are you doing reading my stuff so early in the morning? It's not going anywhere! Sleep in! But thank you for reviewing!**_

 _ **DAngel7- Thank you for all your reviews! I'm glad you liked the sweatshirt moment from the last chapter. Things like that- tiny things are honestly just the story doing what it wants. I was at the scene with them staring at each other at the door, and as I typed describing what Hinata was wearing Sasuke just threw in that she was wearing his shirt and I actually went "What?!" cuz I didn't know until the moment I wrote it haha. Sometimes I think I write these things so I know what the hell is gonna happen.**_

 _ **Thank you for reviewing so much, I appreciate it when people review each chapter so I have a better idea of how they seem to jive with each other, that means a lot to me. I think they're at seven months without Naruto now, so it's only been a few months you're right. Kids have this way of making seven months feel like huge jumps of time though because of how fast they grow, I'm wrestling with that in this story which I think is why the story itself keeps pushing the points about the weather to keep track of time.**_  
 _ **I will definitely be rewriting a large portion of the last chapter. I found it as confusing to write as I am sure it was to read. I'm glad you liked it though!**_

 _ **And last but not least- Oh my darling flamer! You're back! You missed me! I was mourning the loss of your presence but there you are! I hope you keep coming back my dear because I think I need to know you're out there reading this stuff, I think it pumps me up for the next chapter, so thank you! What a sweetie you are. You're like my anti writers block. lovely, I always wanted one of those. Meow ;)**_

 _ **Much love,**_

 _ **Inky**_

* * *

Something about the way that the boys approached the school made Hinata watch them curiously. They looked back and forth along the building and the hall, as if scanning for possible threats while they wandered down to the teacher's lounge to deposit their bags before the start of the day.

There did seem to be a different sort of hush in the air, she had to admit. Outside the sky which was a blazing brilliant blue, like the color of Naruto's eyes when he smiled at her or the kids. And there was the new green leafs on the trees on the school property, so that now when the wind whistled through the grass and past the building it hissed and whispered too as it passed through the branches, rustling everything with it's gentle touch.

But that wasn't what was bugging them, and as she watched a look of irritated disgust flashed over Sasuke's face at the heart stuck to the teacher lounge door she realized.

"It's Valentine's Day."

Kiba sighed, glancing at Hina beside him with his hands shoved deep in his pocket and his mouth in a deep frown. "Yep."

Her eyes traveled from his reply to Sasuke's face as he abruptly took the heart and ripped it off the door, tossing it into the garbage can to the right in the hall. Startled she blinked, let out a sound like a kitten was stepped on and stared at them some more.

"I hate this day." Kiba expressed, framing Sasuke's motion with words.

"D-demo..." Hinata followed as they stepped into the room, throwing their bags onto their desks with twin thumps of dislike. "...why? It's... it's nice to see the kids so excited, I saw some girls making chocolates in the school kitchen together last night. They seemed like they were having fun."

Sasuke wasn't even looking at her, busy pulling things out of his bag and throwing them onto his desk with increasingly more aggressive movements. Beside him Kiba was cocking his head at Hinata.

"You'll figure it out, Hina-chan." he smirked. Then glanced at Sasuke. "Shall we enlighten her or let her learn the hard way?"

Sasuke didn't stop unpacking his bag, the bangs of his books and lap top slamming onto the smooth surface of his desk making her jump.

"She'll find out."

Hinata was starting to feel a growing anxiety in her gut. "Find out what?"

Kiba studied her as if sizing her up. "What if it's too much for her to handle though? I mean, we don't actually know numbers for her- we do for you, but not for her."

"Numbers?" Hinata seemed to have vanished from the conversation, despite Kiba's eyes on her face. "What numbers?"

"She'll have a better appreciation of it then." Sasuke grumped, and Kiba grinned at him for a second. "You sure? What if they're a little handsy?"

Irritation made Sasuke twitch and Hinata finally came to stand beside Kiba, trying to make eye contact desperately. "What are you talking about?"

"Good morning!" Tsunade's voice filled the room suddenly and the whispering teachers all around began to straighten, replying with their salutations as the meeting began. Flustered Hinata looked imploringly at both the boys. Sasuke just shrugged, face impassive and Kiba grinned at her, a little too cheerfully.

"Today is Valentine's Day so, please remember that platonic gifts from students to staff are welcome to be accepted and SHARED with the rest of your team- however if you do receive an inappropriate gift from a student, do NOT accept if you can help it. If it is left for you somewhere then please make sure you inform me and leave it to share in the lounge as well."

"Tch." One of the teachers grunted. "You might as well have just sent that as an email to those three." He nodded his head at the trio standing close to Tsunade's office listening. Hinata's face blazed with heat at the reference to her that made all the eyes in the room glance over.

"Or just the Uchiha." Someone else muttered.

A vein on Tsunade's temple pulsed. "Moving on! Today is the student council meeting for the sports festival and I would appreciate the teachers involved clarifying the rules of each activity on the day and where they can be placed on campus..."

Leaning into Kiba little Hinata whispered. "I am so confused."

"You're so adorable." He replied, and she winced. "Kiba-kun...what-"

"Let's go." Sasuke called, giving her no time to continue the conversation, heading out the door like he was heading towards battle.

And as soon as he opened the door she suddenly felt her confusion turn into worry.

The hall was full of students waiting to enter into their classes but their whispers and chat was directed at the door of the teacher lounge. They followed them with their eyes as Hinata stepped behind Sasuke, her expression bewildered. "Good luck!" Kiba called from the door, flashing her another knowing grin that was making her exceedingly more nervous.

"...ari..arigato..." she mumbled climbing up the stairs and finding that Sasuke was more moody than she was used to now.

"Ne... Sasuke-kun..." she began, taking the stairs two at a time to try to catch up to him. "Ano... why...why is..." but the words died in her mouth when she reached their floor and saw his classroom door.

"Oh... oh my gosh."

His classroom door was covered, she could not see it. There were hearts, in varying degrees of pink, white, red and burgundy. They were letters, balloons, stuffed animals, candy, boxes, pictures, there was even a little bonsai tree with it's branches twisted into the shape of a heart on the floor along with the items which could not be stapled, tied or hung from the wall.

Hinata lifted a hand to her mouth and took a deep breath.

"Valentine's Day." Sasuke grumbled beside her, moving forward and ripping the door open with force, sending items scattering all over the floor. Around the class girls scattered like nervous pigeons at the park, moving in mass away from him but never quite leaving.

"I've never.." she began when he closed the door and sighed at the sight of his desk likewise inundated. "I've never seen anything like this."

"It's really bad this year." He supplied, chucking items into the garbage without looking until something caught his eye and he blinked.

"What?" Hinata asked, watching his surprised expression change to chagrin. Lightly he tossed the box at her, sorting suddenly through the chaos instead of just dumping it all into the garbage can beside his desk.

Puzzled Hinata looked at the box and froze.

"No."

"Yes."

"No... no no..."

"This one too." He commented and tossed a large puffy heart shaped pillow onto the empty desk in front of her.

"I.. I...I.."

"And this one." He examined the book in his hands. "A thousand poems about love."

The color was taking it's time to rise to her face, because she could feel it had begun down at her toes, heating up over the curve of her calves, up her body, splashing everything in it's burning red.

Now she matched the holiday decor.

"This can't be."

"To Hyuuga-sensei." He continued, tossing more and more items towards her, letting them spill off the desk and onto the floor. Many were letters, hand written, some were trinkets, new pens or in one case, jewelry.

"Hyuuga-sensei."

"I can't believe this."

"Hyuuga-sensei." He stopped and scanned the items on his desk. "Actually, a lot of this is yours, I guess they figured I'd get the door you got the desk."

"But who-?"

"Let's find out." He ripped open a letter and Hinata jumped, wanting to rip the item out of his hand although her body felt so cold she couldn't move.

"Dear Hyuuga-sensei," Sasuke began quietly, muttering to himself as he read over the script, raising his eyebrows at least once in a way that made her flush crimson even more.

"Secret admirer." He concluded, and tossed the letter, moving to open another one. Opening these was far more interesting than opening his own.

"S-stop!" she gasped. "Class is going to start any minute, I don't want them thinking that I-" and just as she was going to finish that sentence the door to the classroom opened and students started to file in, eyeing the piles of gifts with mixed expressions of interest, amusement and some nerves.

Unable to look at any of them Hinata stumbled over the spilled gifts, moving them lightly with her foot out of the way before coming up beside Sasuke.

"Where do we put all this stuff? How do I get it out of here?" Panic was clearly starting to make it's way into her voice and he glanced at her, amusement lighting up the darkness of his eyes. "You had no idea."

"Of course not!"

A sound escaped him, almost a laugh and she blinked at him, trying to ignore the eyes that were watching them from the student desks.

"...a...are you laughing at me?"

"Hinata."

"I'm getting a garbage bag!" she gasped, in an effort to get herself out of the room. Sasuke watched her go with a smirk, before turning back to the class, suddenly very serious. "So, this stuff." He pointed at the buried desk with one hand. "Let's pretend it's not there. Take out your notes for today and let's get going."

Outside the classroom Hinata stumbled down the stairs, trying to slow her breathing. She had absolutely _not_ been prepared. Tosoru had asked at the tutoring class about this very thing but it had never even entered her mind that there would be such sheer numbers or that they would dare to do something like leave their gifts out for anyone to see. Surely they would have _all_ had to be super sneaky.

Opening the teacher's lounge door Hinata blinked, watching as a handful of teachers with a prep block glanced at her, studied her crimson cheeks and grinned knowingly at her, as though they had rehearsed it. Among them, Kiba.

"Hyuuga-san." He called, raising up a handful of garbage bags in his hand, waving them like a flag. "Need these?"

Feeling like her limbs were particularly stiff Hinata made her way into the room and snatched the bags, opening one with trembling fingers. "...a...a...ano..." she began, eyes crinkled at the corners with her dislike. "That... that was mean- you should have told me!"

Kiba smiled watching her preparing herself to go back out there knowing now that the eyes that lingered on her could potentially be nervous admirers hoping for a smile.

"But this is so much more fun." He replied leaning back in his chair. "And since I don't receive anything on Valentine's Day, I do have to have my fun." He concluded.

Hinata frowned at him, puzzled. "There's stuff on your class door." She blurt, blinking.

Kiba's face changed from amused to confused. "No, I doubt it-"

"There's stuff on there." Hinata sniffed, a little bit glad to have something to throw at him. "You're going to have to make a report to Tsunade-san too." And she started to storm back into the fray, shoulders hunched.

"This is why young teachers are a problem." One of their colleagues called as Kiba shot up out of his chair and ran after her, both surprised and a little scared.

By the end of the day the three had filled two garbage bags each, although Sasuke also had a box and several helium balloons. The offering was placed outside of Tsunade's door with reports of being very professional during the day despite the fact that the students were a little more teary.

Tiredly Hinata wandered with her friends to the front of the school, rubbing her face. "I just... I did not see this coming."

"That's what you keep saying." Kiba commented. "And honestly neither did I. Last year it was _all_ Sasuke. But come to think of it he was new, so the shock of that face probably won out." Kiba laughed, winking at her and making her laugh. Beside them Sasuke shook his head.

"I'm so tired." Hinata sighed, stepping out into the freshness of the dusk. With winter heading out the door the days were starting to be longer and even though she was still getting home in the dark on her late days at least on her regular days she had the warming touch of the sunset behind her.

"I'm kind of proud of myself though." Kiba admitted as they started towards the school gates. "I honestly never thought there would be anything for me, it just didn't even enter my head."

Hinata stopped, blinking at him. "But why?"

"I don't look like Sasuke-chan over here." Kiba laughed and then stopped to look at her over his shoulder, surprised by the frown on her face, ignoring the shove Sasuke gave him for the jab.

"Demo..." Hinata cocked her head at him, and her hair tumbled to the side, a curtain of indigo and purple shades that highlighted the brightness of her eyes in the setting sun. "Kiba-kun, you're very handsome, and very kind, I'm surprised you thought..." and she drifted off, watching with surprise as heat rose to his face, blanketing his cheeks in pink. "Kiba-kun?"

"You may have stopped his heart." Sasuke sighed lightly, tapping Kiba's head with one finger. "The blood rushed to his face too quickly."

"Ah!" Hinata blinked and then laughed, moving forward to get her arm around his making him start walking again.

Suddenly quiet Kiba looked at the ground, biting the inside of his cheek nervously unable to look at either of his friends.

"Oh, and here." Hinata dug in her shoulder bag as they walked, pulling out two little bags with white ribbon and extending it to them.

Sasuke and Kiba stopped walking, receiving the little packages with some curious trepidation. Hinata smiled at their hesitation. "It's not chocolate."

Slowly the boys opened the bags, glancing at each other thoughtfully for a second as they pulled out a tiny round black frames with a picture of Sora, Haku and Hinata inside, tiny white finger prints decorated the black and Sasuke ran a finger over them, feeling the miniature ridges of Sora and Haku's digits marked by the white paint.

"Now we just need one of all of us so I can have one." she smiled. For a second the boys were quiet studying the pictures without looking up at her.

"I'm gonna squish her." Kiba warned, and Sasuke grunted, neither an agreement or a complaint. Hinata started. "What?"

But her questions were cut off by the breathless hug that he pulled her into, his cheek pressed hard against hers. "Too cute." He sighed, feeling her arms wrap around his neck, squeezing back gently. "Too cute."

* * *

"Ne..."Hinata leaned into the class as Kiba and Sasuke waited for the students to finish cleaning up the mess they had made with their skits for their English plays. "Can we do Haku-kun's birthday cake tomorrow? Are you both free?"

"Hm?" Sasuke glanced back, frowning at the way some of the male students stopped working to stare at Hinata before jumping at his glare. After nodding at her quickly he walked towards them his words smooth and sharp and too quiet for her to hear.

"Do you want me to pick up the cake?" Kiba asked, studying her face as she watched Sasuke's interaction with the boys worriedly. "Oh that would be lovely, thank you, Kiba-kun. I was trying to figure out how to get it back to the apartment with the kids on the train."

"I'll meet you both at the gate." She finally murmured, nodding towards Sasuke's lengthening conversation with the boys in the corner. "...is he okay?"

Kiba grinned. "Oh he's fine."

"Why... are they in trouble?"

Her friend glanced back again, studying the set of Sasuke's jaw and the wary expressions on the teens in front of him. "Don't you worry about it."

Frowning at him a little Hinata felt her mouth gather together in a half pout. "Hm." She grumbled, but left knowing there would be not getting it out of him once he made up his mind. Once she left Kiba pushed from the wall and walked over to the boys and Sasuke, putting a hand on his friend's shoulder. "Were they drooling?" He inquired making the boys wince.

"A little."

"Want help or are ya good?" He smirked, watching the boys' eyes flickering back and forth between the Uchiha and the Inuzuka with growing trepidation.

"No, I've got this."

"K, I'm gonna go get my crap together, Hinata is waiting for us at the gate so don't take too long even if it's a little fun." He waved over his shoulder as he walked off. "Ja ne!"

Slowly Sasuke turned back to the teen boys. "So... which one of you is the president for Hyuuga-sensei's fan club?"

The exchange of expressions varied from terrified to guilty and finally flat out embarrassed although no one responded. Some of the letters that Hinata had unceremoniously thrown in the garbage had piqued his interest on Valentine's Day and he would be loathe to admit it to anyone but Kiba (who understood immediately and without question) that he had in fact taken some and read them.

And he had not liked what he read.

From declarations of love, to some rather more...descriptive and physical aspects of affection, the letters were a full rainbow of male otaku personalities. And Sasuke Uchiha did not like it.

"Fine. We can do this the hard way then." Sasuke smirked, turning to leave. "I'll find out who it is eventually. And when I do..." he let the sentence linger, watched as their imaginations drew up varying degrees of horrible scenarios as he lifted his bag up on his shoulder and promptly walked out the door.

Outside by the school gate Hinata checked her phone with a slight frown, glancing up at the school again. With the swift coming of February the wind had a delicious touch of sweetness to it. The smell of newly grown grass and the thawing of Japan's old bones. She breathed in deep, trying not to be impatient and turned looking up at the sky blue of the heavens lacking in clouds.

Kiba watched her, arms crossed as he waited for Sasuke as well, studying the movement of her legs. She was wearing a pencil skirt that he had noted was new because it fit. It held on to her body with an aggressive hug that accented the small waist and the curve of her hips, and the slit at the back (he was sure) she had no idea was quite as high as it was. Watching her walking down the hall he had had to take a deep breath and focus on something else. Her legs were the kind that made his own knees a little weak.

"Kiba-kun?"

Startled out of his quickly growing embarrassment he looked up to find her nearly in front of him, peeking at him with a hand over her bangs to block out the afternoon sun. "Are you okay, Kiba-kun?"

"Hai! I was just... thinking... I'm tired." He floundered lamely, sliding his eyes away to the school.

Following his gaze Hinata turned and started in surprise as the doors opened and Sasuke stepped out, holding the door for none other than Haruno Sakura.

"What the..." Kiba began slowly. "That's bad news."

"Ano..." Hinata began slowly, lowering her hand to her side.

The two stood in the half shadow of the school's entrance, Sakura holding her book bag in front of her speaking rapidly, her shoulders tight and tense across her back even as Sasuke looked impassively on.

"I hope that's not what I think it is." Kiba winced. "I don't think Tsunade is going to be too happy about yet another incident with this kid, but with graduation just around the corner..."

"She's getting bold." Hinata finished softly, and her eyes traced the lines of Sasuke's shape, searching, she realized for an emotion she could decipher.

"Here they come." Kiba mumbled pushing off the wall and walking over to Hinata, taking her shoulders and turning her towards him as Sakura began to run down the school steps, walking rapidly but not particularly upset out the gates right by them.

Before Hinata could turn to watch her go Kiba's hand landed on her chin and turned her to him. "Pretend we're talking!" He gasped. Hinata blinked at him mildly. "Demo... we _are_ talking." And his feral grin made her grin back. "You're good at this."

As Haruno disappeared past the gate Kiba finally let go of Hinata's chin, hearing Sasuke's sigh. "You can stop pretending you weren't watching." the Uchiha drawled irritably.

"Great!" Kiba walked over, cocking his head first one way then the other as if trying to figure out which way Sasuke was supposed to go. "What the heck was that? You should be avoiding talking to that girl. She's bad news."

Hinata followed a few steps behind, curiosity making her study Sasuke's face although she didn't dare say anything to question him.

"Same old." He shrugged, and kept walking without stopping. Kiba scoffed a little, following behind him a step, and Hinata behind him out of the gate.

"That is not how one shares information."

"You already know the information."

"How do you know?"

"I just know."

"Check, let's re-establish that I know where the Haruno fiasco is at." Kiba stepped a few paces in front of him and raised his hands in supplication as he walked backwards. "Please?"

Sighing loudly Sasuke shook his head. "She's in love with me."

"Mhm."

"She's determined."

"Right, right."

"She understands I can't say anything about it because of my job."

"Hm...taking a left turn at that conversation point."

"She's hoping we can have this conversation again after graduation."

"Blah."

"End of story."

Hinata followed behind Sasuke, her frown a little more on the worried end instead of the amused like Kiba's.

"This... could be a problem, could it not? I can't imagine that her parents are very happy."

"It's fine, I'll deal with it when the time comes." Sasuke shrugged. And to her surprise another sentence followed that made her stomach churn. "She's a sweet person, just fixated."

"Obsessed." Kiba corrected and the two fell into a series of back and forth that Hinata didn't really hear as they walked along towards the train station, her brow furrowed as she thought about his words.

 _She's a sweet person._

Quietly she bit her lip and tried to ease the painful feeling in her chest.

* * *

Saturday morning came with a scream from Haku that made her jump out of bed like she was doused with freezing water.

"Ah!" She gasped, slamming into the frame of her children's room with her shoulder to find Haku jumping up and down on his futon like he was on a pogo stick, his eyes wide, wild locks of black hair flying around his face.

"I'm FIVE!"

Breathless Hinata stared at him, watching her usually serious little boy bouncing up and down until the fear finally leaked out of her body and she found herself grinning. "Oh Haku-kun!"

"Five!" Sora shouted from her bed, jumping up and down like her brother, holding out three fingers to her mother. "Five!"

Smiling Hinata sighed. Birthdays had always been so wonderful before. Naruto would have been awake already, he would have gone for a run, returned to make Haku his birthday pancakes with chocolate chip eyes and whip cream smile. She would have been finishing up wrapping his present in the bedroom while they tore around the house playing tag.

She would have gone down the steps to see the trio of blue eyes glimmering at her from below, their smiles all so similar and unique.

"Oka-san! Oka-san when is Uncle Sasuke getting here!?" Haku shouted as he bounced, and Hinata blinked in surprise at his question.

"Oh... ano... not for a bit yet, Haku-kun..."

"Yay! Kiki!" Sora shouted, doing a bum drop onto her bed.

Hinata shook her head. "No, baby, Uncle Sasuke isn't coming until later-"

"Yay! Yay! Kiki coming!"

"But Sora, baby, Uncle Sasuke is-"

"Kiki coming! Kiki coming!"

Five minutes later Hinata was on Sora's futon with her daughter doing somersaults on her back and her cell pressed to her ear, wincing as her baby dropped all her weight onto her shoulder blades and used her as a slide.

"Ack!"

 _"...hello?"_

Blushing Hinata gasped. "Ah! Gomen, I was just wondering- Ow! Ow! Sora, that's mama's hair- Sorry, Sasuke?"

A long extended pause and then she heard his voice. _"You appear to be getting mauled."_

"Ah, um, yes... Any chance at all... that we could do the- ow- ow- Sora! The cake, can we do the cake like... now?"

 _"It's definitely eight in the morning."_

Hinata's sigh was defeated and punctuated with a few hisses of pain as Sora bum dropped on the back of her head.

 _"But if it's a life and death situation, I suppose I should call Kiba."_

"Oh please."

A chuckle echoed through the phone and Hinata pulled it away from her ear to stare at it like it was some crazy new thing she'd never seen before.

"Did you just...laugh?"

 _"Don't sound so stunned."_

"Sora-chan, Haku-kun, Uncle Sasuke just laughed." Hinata called over her shoulder.

"Yay! Uncle Sasuke is coming!" Haku cried, starting his crazy up and down jump on his bed again. Hearing his words Sora began to jump, incidentally on Hinata's back, knocking the air out of her with each bounce. "Kiki coming now! Kiki coming now!"

 _"I'm unsure that cake is what we should be bringing."_

"They take kids away if we tranquilize them." Hinata whispered, covering her mouth over the phone with her hand. More loudly she called. "He's so excited to wrestle with you guys!"

 _"That...wow, I'm surprised at you, Hinata."_

Smirking just a little tiny bit Hinata covered her head with her arm to alleviate the pressure of her three year old sprawling on her back over her skull. "I'm full of surprises, Sasuke-kun."

The silence lasted longer than she expected and softly his sigh came through the phone. _"Yes...I have noticed... Kiba and I will be there in half an hour, stay alive."_

Blinking Hinata nodded and then remembered he couldn't see her. "Oh... hai, see you then."

Hanging up she stared at the phone a moment longer, wondering if maybe she shouldn't have called him on a Saturday so early in the morning. But the truth was, despite the manic energy of her kids the thought of facing the day, and breakfast alone for Haku's birthday was making her stomach hurt.

"Half an hour!" she cried to the kids. "Quick! We have to get dressed!"

* * *

Kiba stared at the door of Hinata's apartment with a raised eyebrow before turning to look at Sasuke who actually was surprised enough to have the expression take over his face.

"It's not even nine in the morning." He commented. The apartment door was doing it's very best to keep the thumping music from exploding into the outside world and failing. Throbbing on it's hinges with the bass of a dance song and the high pitched squeals of children inside Sasuke didn't hear when a door opened down the hall and a man in a housecoat peeked out at them.

"Hey!"

Startled the boys turned to look at him, blinking.

"It's too early! Turn that down!"

Kiba grinned at him. "Music or screaming children, sir? It's going to be one or the other."

Sasuke turned away and knocked on the door hard, but the music kept playing and when the neighbor grunted in dislike at Kiba and went back in Kiba handed the boxed cake to the Uchiha beside him and reached up above the door frame, feeling around for the spare key they had used when Sora broke her arm.

"There." He sighed, slipping it into the lock and stepping inside.

Down the hall the music was louder than they thought a little room could possibly stand and both of them paused. Hinata was just in sight and as they watched she moved, stealing the air out of their lungs. Arms in the air her hips moving with the rhythm of the music, eyes closed, jumping as the tempo picked up with each beat. Her hair spread out around her with the turns of her head and moved as though enchanted. Beside her Haku and Sora bounced waving their arms crazily around, shaking their heads just off beat with the pounding of the drums.

As the song gained momentum she bent down and scooped the babies up bouncing so the ground shook with their combined impact, making them squeal and laugh so hard they could actually be heard over the sound of the music.

It didn't matter that the music was making any other sound void, Sasuke felt the way his heart stuttered, pounding the blood through his ears. With each jump rays of light brightened her indigo black hair, setting off dizzying beauty through to the ends of her locks and her shirt lifted, a strip of smooth pale skin visible with each beat.

"Shit." Kiba whispered beside him, remembering to breathe. There was nothing but the inability to move at the sight of her unabashed laughter.

Putting the kids down to let them bounce on their own feet Hinata straightened, clearly out of breath, laughing, one hand on her stomach as she tried to catch the oxygen that seemed to run away from her and turning slightly she jumped, seeing for the first time the two men frozen at the door way.

"Ah!"

"Uncle Sasuke! Uncle Kiba!"

"Kiki! Baka!"

Hinata scrambled to the speakers, tripping a little on the toys Sora had spread over the family room.

"You started the party without us!" Kiba cried, feeling the impact of Haku into his waist.

Licking her lips Hinata fiddled with her phone, scrambling through the music list as though it were going to provide her with a way to calm her heart down. The mixture of surprise, exercise and sheer embarrassment was the perfect storm of blushing.

"I thought they were the ones that were hyper." Kiba smirked as he walked into the family room, depositing Sora with a plop into her chair before putting the gift bag he brought with him on the counter in the kitchen, Haku bouncing along behind him tugging on his shirt.

Hinata swallowed and pulled hard on her bangs as though wishing she could use them to hide.

"A-ano, you surprised me, I thought the d-d-door was locked!"

"I used the spare key." Kiba explained, keeping his back to her as he pulled the treats for Haku's birthday breakfast out of the grocery bag, his ears a blazing pink that was thankfully hidden by the length of his hair.

"Oh!" Hinata replied, feeling less articulate than usual and still breathless.

"Uchiha- did you get lost in the hallway?" he called, wishing that another adult would enter the room and dispel some of the blushing happening.

Sasuke however was in the hall, holding on for dear life to the handle of the door, blinking hard in an effort to dispel the image of her hips moving.

"Coming." his voice was hoarse. Clearing it roughly he looked up in time to see Sora peek at him from around the corner, a big smile that made her blue eyes sparkle spread over her tiny pink mouth. "Kiki."

With the music significantly less loud and Kiba unloading in the kitchen the next words out of Sora's mouth were clear and brightly announced.

"Love you, Kiki!"

Sasuke stared, a pain in his chest making him grip the handle of the door harder, hearing Hinata's gasp in the other room.

These girls were trying to kill him.

* * *

"Sasuke get's all the girls." Kiba grumbled a bit as they lounged lazily in the family room. Haku was sitting on his legs, taking apart an old alarm clock that Kiba had brought with him to go along with Sasuke's tool kit.

On the table was a disaster of pancakes, bacon, strawberries, whip cream, cake plates and chocolate milk. Sora was wandering from abandoned plate to abandoned plate picking out the chocolate parts of the cake, and licking up the left over whip cream.

In the kitchen Hinata focused on washing dishes, glancing every once in a while at her kids comfortably relaxing with her only two friends. For a moment her eyes lingered on Sasuke, leaning against the wall of the family room, his eyes focused on Sora's tiny wandering form with a confused but soft expression.

"Quiet." Sasuke muttered at him, but there was no force behind the word and Kiba smirked at him. "Even the tiny obstinate ones." Kiba continued, unphased by his request.

Hinata breathed in deeply in the kitchen, making Sasuke glance at her and make her start washing the dishes a little more vigorously.

"Ano..." she began, rubbing the plate in her hands for the fifth time with her sponge. "...Sora...Sora-chan may not know..." she began, and Kiba laughed. "Hina-chan, don't even worry about it. I'm kidding."

Biting her lip Hinata glanced at him for a second, a little worried. His brown eyes softened. "I promise, I'm just teasing this ice cube over here."

Sasuke started at the insult. "I... I was just surprised, I just..."

 _I cannot remember the last time someone told me they loved me._

"Sasuke, she could care less that you didn't reply." Kiba interrupted the look of worry on his face, shaking his head. "Her love for you is completely indiscriminate, she could care less how you felt about it."

Smiling a little Hinata laughed. "Like...Sakura-san."

" _Ugh_!" Kiba gasped. "How could you make something so innocent sound so awful?"

Laughing still Hinata turned back to the dishes, a tiny bit less concerned.

"Did she actually tell you she loved you though?" Kiba suddenly asked, turning to Sasuke who blinked at him, tearing his eyes off the tiny girl trolling for toys to smash together on the family room floor.

"No. She alluded to that, but didn't actually say the words." He shrugged, bored with the conversation.

"When she does what are you going to say?"

Kiba glanced up at Hinata who had asked the question, studying her tense little face as she looked at the dishes, noting that the plate in her hand was probably cleaner than surgery utensils at this point.

Sasuke's frown was deep but he restrained himself from both scoffing and looking at her. "Nothing."

"...you can't say nothing." Hinata's voice was quiet and a frown creased her brow as well.

Slowly Sasuke turned his face towards her, his frown unmoved. "Why not?"

"You... you just can't. It's cruel." Her little voice sounded just the barest bit shaky and Kiba folded his arms around one raised knee as Haku tumbled off him to poke at the TV with his new screw driver.

Watching the conversation carefully Inuzuka rested his chin on his forearm, keeping his mouth pressed to his skin there to keep the downward turn of his lips from showing.

Sasuke was paying him no attention, his shoulders pulling from the wall to turn a little towards Hinata's form in the kitchen. "Cruel?" He seemed genuinely confused.

"...h-hai. It's cruel... it's..."she sighed and glanced at him for a second. "You can't just... it's ignoring someone, it's..." she hesitated and suddenly realizing where this was going Kiba closed his eyes against the inevitable train crash that was heading their way.

"Like... like with Naruto." she finally stuttered, and the lack of movement from the Uchiha made her wince a little. "You can't just... stop... someone says something to you... puts themselves...you can't just... it's cruel." Her eyes were widening as the words tumbled out of her mouth and she blinked, resting her soapy hands on the counter for a moment to gather herself.

"She just needs to be told you don't feel the same way, that's all. Just a no."

The sound of the kids tinkering with their respective toys lingered in the air, breaking up the heavy quiet that had suddenly taken over the relaxed apartment.

"I know it was cruel, Hinata." Sasuke whispered, and Hinata's shoulders lowered a little.

"Gomen... I know.. I wasn't trying to..." she shook her head. "I'm sorry, I don't know what I was thinking saying that..."

Before Sasuke could gather himself for a reply Haku was peering at Kiba's half hidden face. "Uncle Kiba, can we go to the playground?"

"Yes!" Kiba smiled, glancing at the other two quickly. "I'll get the kids shoes on." he volunteered, and Hinata jumped. "I c-c-can do that, Kiba-kun, I-"

Shaking his head a little he grabbed Haku under the armpits and hoisted him onto his hip, starting down the hall with Sora screaming, "Me too! Me too!" after him, leaving Hinata with Sasuke's dark eyes fixated on her face.

Swallowing Hinata turned slowly towards him again, leaning her hip against the counter of the kitchen, her soaped hands dripping suds onto the floor by her feet.

"I'm so sorry, Sasuke-kun."

"You have a right to be angry."

"I'm not." she whispered, shaking her head. "I... I was, once, but I'm not. I promise."

Down the hall the kids laughed and Sasuke turned his head to listen before turning back to her, studying her gray eyes on him for a second before they looked away, ashamed.

"I'll speak to her when the time comes." He murmured, and Hinata shrugged gently. "It's really none of my business, I'm sorry I... maybe you would say nothing because you would be glad to have her say she l-l-loved you."

Sasuke remained still, although a small muscle at his jaw clenched. "...no..."

"Just... just please..." she continued, ignoring his statement, her eyes flickered to him again. "Don't... don't forget about my babies, okay?"

Startled he moved to stand, frowning. "What?"

"I just... you said she was a sweet girl, and when she comes to you after graduation she won't be your student, she's not a lot younger than we are..."

"This again?"

"Don't dismiss it." Hinata frowned at him, surprised by the annoyance in her chest at his frustration.

"Hinata, she's a child, she's obsessed. She doesn't know what she wants-"

"Do you?"

Startled again he stared at her, a long agonized moment where his lips parted with his answer and seeing a word on the tip of his tongue Hinata cut in. "Because... I... I don't. I don't know what I want at all, I'm just... surviving..."

Flinching Sasuke turned away, looking out the window at the other end of her room, past the bed where she had laid, hand outstretched to him in the dark of the rainstorm.

"Just don't forget them, okay?" She continued, stepping into the silence quickly, afraid suddenly of anything he might say, although unsure of why. "Sora... she just- she just said she loved you, she's only ever said that to me. And Haku..." her eyes flickered to the hall. "Haku... I can't even begin to express to you what would happen to Haku if you disappeared."

Turning his black eyes back on her Sasuke took a small step forward, making her start a little. "I'm not going anywhere, I said-"

"Good, just... remember that, please." Jaw tightening hard for a second Hinata glanced up, meeting his gaze with a ferocity he didn't think he had ever seen before, "If you hurt them... I ... I don't want to hate you, Sasuke. But I would."

She drew in a breath, watching as he cocked his head to the side, his eyes intent on hers, unaffected by her fervor.

"Okay." His acquiesce was unexpected and she blinked, surprised by his lack of defense. "I understand."

"Oka-san!" Haku's voice rolled down the hall. "Oka-san, Sora's wearing one of my boots and I can't get her to take it off!"

"We're working on it!" Kiba called as well.

"I'm coming!" Hinata replied, glancing for a moment at Sasuke before moving to get past him. His arm suddenly stopped her, his touch soft on the skin of her wrist.

"I will never go a day without regretting what I did to Naruto, Hinata." his voice was feather soft, tickling her ear with his breath. "Never. He deserved much better."

Lowering her head a little Hinata sighed. "One day... I'm going to ask why."

His sharp intake of breath made her eyes flicker to his for a second and then she was gone, leaving him rubbing the place on his palm where he had made contact with her skin.

* * *

 _ **So... the chapters are kind of odd for me, like... this one was an inch closer in the direction I feel it should be going, but I'm still kind of staring at it trying to figure out why it feels just a little off- like clothes that are just literally a tiny bit too tight?**_

 _ **Anyway, leave me some love!**_

 _ **Inky**_


	15. Chapter 15

_**A.N**_

 _ **Earnestly Yours and Heleah Dancing by Keaton Henson played on repeat for large portions of this, as well as the Garden of Words.**_

 _ **I may remove the whole Valentine's day thing as I don't feel it fits with the way this story is going, and felt a little weird to me as it was written. (I mean in the last chapters)**_

 _ **Kiba is indeed becoming the true MVP here, I do realize that. I love him too guys, I'm sad for him :(**_

 _ **Much love,**_

 _ **Inky**_

* * *

 _Sasuke,_

 _I had a scare with Hinata. Even as I write this I'm shaking. Thinking about it makes me sick but Shikamaru told me to figure my shit out before the baby and my wife come home. He's right, of course. I find writing to you helps. Maybe that's part of why I keep doing this teme. Maybe it's for me too, not just you._

 _I nearly lost her._

 _Sora, our new baby girl is lovely, she's perfect in every way and yet, she came and almost took her mother from me. I don't know what we would have done if Neji had not been here to drive us. I don't know if I could have made it to the hospital with her bleeding to death in the back of the car._

 _I guess, I should start at the beginning. Tenten and Neji were over for dinner. It was such a fantastic day and Haku had spent all evening puddle jumping so he was passed out by the fireplace right after eating._

 _It's terrifying to think that the moment went from calm and lovely, like my beautiful wife, to horrific. She said my name from the kitchen and like an ass I didn't get up, I told her I would be right there. I don't even know what I was doing that distracted me._

 _And then I heard the crash of her falling, pulling down the mugs she had been filling with tea for us after supper._

 _I'm not sure what happened after. Neji was on the phone with 911, but with the amount of blood that was all over the ground and on her dress I think we all knew we could not wait even the five minutes it would take for an ambulance to get to her and I picked her up, we got in the car and started driving._

 _Sasuke, blood feels sticky. Have you ever noticed that? It dries faster than you expect, stains instead of slips. She drenched me, in that car ride. It was pouring out of her and she looked less and less like herself. Dark circles just appeared on her face like she had been punched and her lips turned white like paper._

 _It felt like the one that was dying was me._

 _Neji and I got her to the hospital with minutes to spare, it was touch and go for a bit. The baby wasn't doing well either. But Sora is a fighter, and at least she was stable while the doctors worked on my Hinata._

 _The thing that I keep going through in my head though is how much I was surprised by the hate. There aren't a lot of people I can honestly say I have hated. It's a strong word, it requires full understanding to be used I think. I don't want to just toss it around._

 _So I need you to get what happened to me, while I held her hand and she began to fade. I held on to her and even as I begged her not to leave me I hated her._

 _I haven't told anyone else this, and if you're not even receiving these letters then maybe no one will ever know but me. And that's okay, maybe it's best that way but Sasuke, that day I realized how closely hate and love are related, how one can become the other in seconds._

 _When I thought she was leaving me I felt this rush of fear, and the terror turned to anger. It's irrational and I feel awful that it went there but it did and I can't deny that to myself. Maybe to everyone else, but not when I'm alone, thinking about it. I hated her. I hated that she could take me apart by leaving me. I hated that I would never be the same if she didn't wake up. I hated that with her smile and her lips and the way she moves her hips she took bits of me and that I will never come back if she leaves me, if she's gone. I will be forever a partial soul amputee without her._

 _I have never wanted to see you more than I do now. I need you to tell me you get what the fuck I'm talking about. I need you to tell me to let it go, to get over it, whatever it is your dumb ass high IQ would say to get me out of this guilty feeling that's haunting me._

 _I can't lose her, Sasuke. I can't. Jesus, I know I've said that I hope you feel the joy I have felt in my past letters and in those moments it is joy, I swear, but I realized you have to have the possibility of loss to really feel the beauty of something. So if you do have someone that makes you ache, you have my congratulations and my sympathy._

 _I'm wrecked, Sasuke... I'm wrecked. She's wrecked me. If you've ever felt this before you will know what I mean right away, you will recognize it and shudder with me. You will know how easily hating someone or loving someone can drift into each other. Maybe that's what we have too? Maybe that's why as I write this I can't stand the thought of you, even as I wish so much to see you._

 _I'm sorry, I hope this isn't the first letter you receive by some fluke, I hope you've read others before this so you know, I love her, I even love you, despite your shit. I'm just scared. Takes a lot out of me to write that sentence. I'm scared that someone can rip me apart the way she does._

 _For fucks sake, if you care at all about me, call me, please_

 _your brother, always_

 _-Naruto_

 _PS. Sora was born by c-section at 9 pm at night, on March 24th. She's Sora Hanabi Uzumaki. One day when I get my shit together I'll send you some pictures of the kids, and hopefully you'll realize I mean it when I say I have a life, one I wish you would be part of again._

Hearing the letter read by Kiba's soft worried voice in the stillness of the afternoon while the kids napped had stunned her. Sitting beside him Sasuke had watched and she had been unable to stop the emotions that fluttered over her face, none of them ever seeming to land long enough, spilling instead through her gaze as the tears fell.

Unlike before he did not reach for her, did not drag her into his arms and hold her while she wept, and she wondered that she should even think of that, or ponder why he didn't.

 _You will know how easily hating someone or loving someone can drift into each other._

Sasuke's eyes shifted to her again at those words and the intensity there had made her look away. The words were soft on Kiba's lips and yet made her curl into herself protectively as though being beaten, burying her face into her arms.

The boys had left soon after. The party was over, the kids were asleep, afternoon was on the way and Hinata's tears would not stop.

Lingering by the door of the apartment Sasuke had continued to study her face in the way that was muddling her brain, she could see on his lips words sitting heavy and fat with an emotion that matched his eyes, but she was exhausted and softly she had closed the door, whispering a wet goodbye.

They had not brought up the letter again. Unlike others that had been shared they had not discussed it's contents, neither of the boys feeling that it was their place to bring up. The words had been unlike Naruto in their seriousness, in their desperation and although his love for Hinata had been the core of his conflict they knew it could not have been easy to hear.

Avoiding the topic at least was not difficult, as school began to wrap up and final exams began to be written they had little time for pleasantries even as the weather turned soft and pink with the brightening of the sunshine of very early spring.

Excitement buzzed through the school as the senior class began to gather together for their final days and Hinata sighed tiredly, annoyed with their bright wide eyed innocent faces looking to the future with such charm and delight in mind.

"Hey." Kiba murmured softly beside her. Together they sat in the assembly hall, watching as rows and rows of students scribbled away at their tests, anxiety making knees vibrate and fingers dig through their hair.

Hinata blinked and turned to him, dragging herself out of her thoughts to study his concerned expression. "Oh... Hi, sorry Kiba-kun, I was just... " she sighed again, shaking her head and lowering her eyes.

"You've been pretty blue lately, Hina-chan." He murmured quietly, flicking his eyes over the silent students before turning back to her. "Have you been working too hard?"

Hinata didn't look up. The sun was out, it warmed her back as she walked to the school from the train. It made the days long enough that playing at the park with the kids and getting her grocery shopping done in the evenings could all be done in the brightness of the spring dusk.

Haku was doing better at daycare and the teachers were expressing their delight at his growth and although he was still serious there was a quiet confidence in his little face. Sora was flourishing, her affection for Sasuke although worrying eased whenever he pressed her to be careful and she complied.

Things were going well, Hinata's own classes were passing with flying colors and Tsunade had commended her for balancing her personal life with the extra work she took on in the evenings for the school.

But whenever she stepped out of the house in the morning she remembered again that Naruto loved spring. He would spend hours outside in the morning before work and in the afternoon before dinner, pulling weeds, re hedging the flower plots, trimming back the apple trees that lined their driveway so their blossoms and subsequent fruit would be bigger than the year before.

Spring and the smell of fresh dirt and grass made his smile come to mind, making her arms ache to hold him, her nose to smell him, her lips to kiss...

"It's been 10 months since Naruto died."

Kiba's gaze was like the touch of a feather, delicately he traced her features watching the pinkness of her mouth turn softly downwards.

"I thought that spring would be helpful." she smiled a little remembering how the first blossoms on the apple trees by their house had always been a cause of celebration. "But all it does is make me remember how much he loved to make things grow."

Kiba said nothing, beneath the table they shared to work on marking during the supervision of the test he reached into her lap, retrieving the tiny clenched fist of her hand.

"It's almost Sora's birthday." He responded softly, "Soon the cherry blossoms will be in bloom throughout the city. They're beautiful and I doubt you've seen anything like it. Perhaps you need to try to make new memories this spring, Hina-chan?"

"A sigh drifted out of Hinata's chest and an old familiar pain throbbed along her rib cage. "Maybe you're right." she said the words even as they left a bitter taste in her mouth.

Kiba's smile was sad, and she chided herself for burdening him with her worries, slowly turning to look out the window of the assembly hall to watch the passing of the cotton clouds through the brightness of the blue sky.

 _I want to forget that his eyes were that color when he smiled... and yet... the thought of forgetting..._ She closed her eyes, and could see him, sprawled on her bed with a sleepy smile, his fingers tracing the curve of her shoulder, a fire igniting in his gaze.

 _...I'm never going to be able to forget..._

His weight on top of her in the darkness of the nights, the touch of his gasp against the curve of her jaw, the way he could make sounds slide out from between her lips that she had never made before, sounds that made her blush even while in the fray, clinging to the scent of his skin and the taste of his mouth.

Standing abruptly Hinata ripped her hand from Kiba's grip. "I'm sorry... I... I have to go... I'll be back." she whispered, stumbling out of the room, earning herself a couple puzzled glances from the students and a concerned "Okay," from Kiba as she left.

The hall was lit only by the brightness of the afternoon sun, it tainted everything it touched a soft gold and as she walked down the hall she breathed in deep, slow and steady, attempting to calm her suddenly racing heart.

It had been happening more and more, sitting on the train and seeing a couple holding hands, their gazes aligning for a moment would send her heart careening as her mind shifted endlessly through her recollections trying to grasp the memory of how it felt to have his fingers entwined with hers, making her breathless. Or at the park, watching a father toss his baby girl into the air, her laughter and the beauty of the muscles of his arms flexing with each throw.

The coming of spring had not helped.

Turning the corner abruptly she slammed into someone, gasping out a "Sorry!" and starting at Sasuke's concerned expression.

"Hinata... are you okay?"

The feel of his fingers on her arms, the heat of his blood pumping beneath the skin made her start and pull away. "Yes... sorry... I was... in a hurry..." her eyes shifted and desperately she tried to slow her frantic heart beat, swallowing hard.

Recognizing the vague panic fluttering just beneath the surface of her face Sasuke reached out for her again, one hand laying lightly on her elbow. "Hinata-"

Moving as if to push her hair away from her face Hinata dislodged his grip on her arm with ease, taking a step back and a long breath. "I'm okay. I just needed some air." She sighed, wrestling her breath under control by sheer force. Slowly she crossed her arms to hide the shaking of her hands.

His dark eyes didn't leave her face, not disagreeing with her statement, but neither was he giving her a pass.

"Actually, I'm glad I bumped into you." She continued with some force, turning around and making him start to walk beside her, studying her all the same.

"Sora is turning four in a couple of days and she has been asking and asking about the playground we took her to in February, the one where we had a picnic. I don't have the time to do a picnic after work for her birthday so I was going to take her to the restaurant by the train station where the park is at, the one she loves so much with all the different kind of gyoza."

Her voice shook like the legs of a new born calf but she plowed on and Sasuke finally turned away, worried his staring was causing her more distress.

"I was hoping you and Kiba could come with us. I think she might notice if you're not since you were there at Haku's birthday." she laughed although it lacked humor. "I guess I'm not really asking."

The mention of Haku's fifth made Sasuke's mind travel back to the letter, the one that had made him struggle to breathe. The thought of watching her bleed out had made his intestines turn cold and his blood hot like fire.

He had not said it, and would never say it out loud, but as Naruto's words drove through the apartment he had had to watch her, skimming over the edges of her skin that outlined the delicate shape of her body, marveling that she sat there with them even as the blood had once been nearly drained from her completely.

And the fear, it had made a taste like metal linger in his mouth, making him still.

"Of course." He nodded. "Right after work?"

"It's the last day of classes." Hinata nodded. "Are you needing to stay late that day?"

"I can come back afterwards if I have to finish up stuff." He murmured, and she stopped in front of the Assembly Hall doors, looking at them with a hardly concealed nervousness.

"Hinata... are you sure you're okay?"

"Yes." She didn't even wait for him to finish his sentence and nothing could have told him more than her impatience did.

But her eyes were turned away from him and despite searching her face for a moment he felt the door was closed, his knocking being ignored or rejected. A little painfully he stepped back, wondering what she would do if he were to touch her.

"Okay."

And he drifted down the hall, telling himself he was respecting her wishes, even as he felt guilt eat him up with each step.

* * *

The teacher's lounge was particularly full. A banner had been thrown over the back of the room and balloons haphazardly decorated random corners of the otherwise gray space. Hinata watched with a half smile as an older lady sat in the chair of honor before a cake big enough to cover the larger portion of one of their work tables.

As the teachers all called out "Happy Retirement!" Kiba and Sasuke opened the door to the party, blinking in equal surprise at the party horns tooting playfully while the rest of the staff cut up and handed pieces of cake that was more icing than cake from person to person.

"Who is that?" Kiba blinked as he came up beside Hinata, studying the older lady laughing and handing out cake with a party hat on her gray permed hair.

"...She's Asano-san." Hinata frowned bemusedly at him. "The school secretary."

"Wow." Kiba blinked, looking mildly interested. "Did you know we had one of those?" He glanced at Sasuke who was looking at a book in his hand instead of the party happening around them. "No."

"She can't have been very good at her job." Kiba added defensively as Hinata's expression turned to mild scolding. "Asano-san turned 70 this year... she's a very sweet lady. She looks happy."

"Sure does." Kiba admitted, taking the frosting cake handed to him with a smile and promptly throwing it in the garbage bin behind him. A little less conspicuously Hinata did the same. No one even bothered handing Sasuke anything.

"Are we ready for dinner though?" Inuzuka continued on, gathering his bag from his desk and pulling out his jacket.

"I think so, Sora is going to be very excited." Hinata smiled a a little weakly, her expression not quite meeting her eyes even as she fumbled with her jacket.

Kiba glanced at Sasuke, watching him frown a little at her.

"Ne, Hina-chan..." he began, fixing the turned collar of her jacket for her. "Do you need a break? I mean... you could go home after dinner and rest while we have the kiddos run off some steam at the park for a couple of hours?"

Hinata started. "Eh? Oh... No... it's Sora's birthday, I can't miss it! I'm her only-" she paused, her back to them as she picked up her purse.

Sasuke watched Kiba's wince beside him out of the corner of his eye. "Her only parent?" He supplied.

His voice seemed to snap her out of her stillness and she let her shoulders drop for a second before throwing her purse up. "Yes... birthdays are hard." Hinata turned, forcing herself to smile a little again. "I'm glad you're both coming with us."

"Wouldn't miss it for the world." Kiba murmured softly, patting her arm lightly. "Let's go."

"'Kay..." Hinata sighed, following the two boys out the door with her head down, wondering when they would eventually tire of her upsetting nonsense.

* * *

The restaurant was small, a little block of space nestled among the chaos of the train station terminal, the outside an unfinished wood that gleamed with how hard the owner scrubbed it every morning before opening.

Several times a month Hinata would stop by the shop to purchase gyoza to go with dinner, although the truth was often she and the kids would lay sprawled on the family room floor watching movies eating nothing but the gyoza and soy sauce with their fingers or in Haku's case chopsticks since at school he was required to use them and he felt he should practice.

These were always Sora's favorite dinners, and as they approached the restaurant she jumped up and down so hard she nearly ripped off Sasuke's arm where he held her hand.

"Goza! Goza! Kiki want goza too? I love them, I love them!"

"Good call." Kiba blinked at Hinata as they pushed through the curtain at the entrance and were welcomed by the owner with a warm hello. "She's practically floating."

Hinata nodded. "Sora-chan knows what she does and doesn't like. She's never had trouble knowing."

"I love the goza, Ka-san! I love the goza!" Settling her into a bench in one of the booths proved to be a task as she bounced excitedly even in her seat until Sasuke's hand came down on her head and he leaned in to whisper to her that little girls who want Gyoza get them much faster if they're sitting nicely.

Promptly she bum dropped onto the seat, her hands in her lap and her blonde pigtails a little askew from her excitement, cheeks a dim shade of pink from the sheer joy.

"Okay, Kiki."

Hinata watched this with a smile that was part concern part relief.

"Baby Whisperer." Kiba muttered, blowing the wrapper of his straw at Sasuke's face, earning himself a glare as Hinata settled down beside him.

Ordering what Hinata was sure was going to be entirely too much food they settled back to wait and Sora sat biting her lip and trying desperately to stay still.

"She's going to explode." Kiba smirked, wrinkling his nose at the sheer amount of cute. Puffing out her cheeks Sora put her tiny fat baby hands over her mouth and sighed loudly blowing a raspberry that made the cook behind the counter chuckle.

"Never a dull moment." Hinata admitted, resting her head in her palm to look at Sora past Sasuke's chest.

"Here." Sasuke extended his hand out to Sora. "Let's play rock paper scissors."

"Me too!" Haku gasped, looking up from his book suddenly.

The three began the game, counting down and making Sora squeal any time she got to bash a pair of scissors with her chunky baby rock fist.

A waitress wandered over with their drinks, smiling at Sora and Sasuke, although her eyes lingered on him.

"She's adorable." She murmured with a smile, and although her eyes were trained on the Uchiha it was Hinata who answered. "Arigato..."

"Kiki, mine love you so much." Sora giggled as he tried to cut her paper with his scissor hand. Sasuke smiled at her gently. "Sora-chan-" Before he could get his words in order the toddler jumped to her feet, planting a wet slobbery smooch on his face, partly his nose and cheek and a bit of his ear, pulling back with squeals of laughter at his stunned reaction.

Kiba laughed, and the waitress almost turned to steam on the spot from the overexposure to cuteness. "Oh my gosh- so nice to give your daddy kisses!" she gasped, making Hinata frown at her.

"No-" she began, and stopped in surprise.

"Daddy?" Sora's face changed from her carefree joy to a thoughtful realization as she looked at Sasuke. "Mine daddy?"

Gasping Hinata leaned over the table, trying to make eye contact with the girl who was staring at Sasuke like he was a new thing. "No... Sora-chan, listen to Oka-san-"

"No!" Together the three adults turned to Haku who was looking at Sasuke with panic on his face. "I... I have a daddy...I have my daddy- he's not... Uncle Sasuke is Uncle Sasuke..." words tumbled out of his mouth and at the feel of all the eyes on him in varying degrees of shock color rose to his face, flooding his cheeks in bright patches of pink as he sank into his coat, hiding his face in his hands.

"Sora-chan." Sasuke took her hands quickly. "Sora-chan, I'm Uncle Sasuke- I'm not-"

"Mine daddy." Her voice was quiet, seriousness tinged with confusion and maybe hope.

"No, chibi..." He floundered for a moment, feeling suddenly Hinata's body pressing into his back, attempting to reach her daughter past him on the booth, her soft curves against his spine derailing his thoughts.

"Sora-chan, look at mommy baby." Hinata's voice was strained, thick with an emotion he knew all too well, it was choking him now too.

"Haku." Kiba whispered, gently putting a hand on the five year old's shoulder. "Haku-kun it's okay... Sora is just confused."

The waitress bowed backwards away, apologizing all the while, her eyes wide at the chaos that now reigned as a result of her blunder.

"Sasuke-kun, switch with me." Hinata finally gasped and they scooted out of the booth. "Take Haku." she threw over her shoulder as she slid back on her seat, taking Sora's hands in hers, looking her tiny toddler in her sky blue eyes.

Unwilling to disagree with anything she said in this moment Sasuke leaned over and picked up the still hiding five year old, heading out the door. "We're going for a walk, be back in a few minutes."

Kiba blinked at him, watching him go. "Okay... "

With Haku in his arms Sasuke stepped out into the blazing red and orange of the sunset coming down against the skyline. Blinking rapidly in the brightness he turned and headed towards it, hoisting the boy up on his hip.

"Haku."

"...I have a daddy."

"Haku-kun, you're right. You do."

"Sora-chan said... Sora-chan is saying..."

"What did she say, Haku?"

With each step Sasuke strained to keep his breathing even and his grip on the boy gentle, weaving through the lagging crowd of commuters heading home.

"You're not...you're not my daddy." His words were muffled, and a little sob broke through his hands firmly pressed to his face.

Sasuke looked back and forth on the street corner for a moment before crossing, entering the shadows of the train station again. "You're absolutely right."

The little sobs continued for a few minutes and he didn't say anymore, just walked holding the child in his arms and ignoring the tightening invisible noose making it hard to swallow in his throat.

"I remember your daddy." He began as they entered the train station, starting down the steps into the busy platform.

Slowly Haku breathed in, pressing one hand to his eyes where tears were welling and pushing through his tightly closed blue eyes.

"He was tall, and his hair was as yellow as Sora's." Sasuke murmured, glancing around, looking for the place he had in mind.

"His eyes were the same color blue as yours..." Remembering suddenly where he was he turned and headed back up another set of stairs, onto the street level, switching Haku from one arm to the other. The boy was watching him now through wet lashes, breathing in slowly.

"He used to laugh a lot." Sasuke continued, avoiding looking at him as he caught sight of the shop a street from the station.

"And he was really loud sometimes. So loud he made me cover my ears when he got excited."

A wet painful half laugh escaped Haku, his eyes mesmerized. "So loud..." and the sigh was so mournful Sasuke finally looked at him. "Yeah, Haku-kun... but he's easy to remember, because of his loud, don't you think?"

Chin wobbling Haku nodded as Sasuke finally took the handle of the Ramen Shop door in his hand and stepped inside with the child in tow.

"Welcome!" someone shouted from the back as Sasuke settled Haku on the stool next to him.

"Do you remember anything else about your daddy?" he inquired, turning to look at Haku who was staring at him, a puzzled thoughtful expression on his face. "He played with me, like you do."

Black eyes stared into familiar blue and Haku started in surprise seeing tears where he had never seen them before, marring the ink of his Uncles vision.

"I am not your daddy, Haku-kun." Sasuke shook his head. "You are lucky that you get to remember your dad. Sora-chan is little, and remembering is much harder for her."

"Oh."

"So when she makes mistakes, and gets confused... I am not confused, okay Haku-kun? You're my friend, and... and I love you." He smiled, putting a hand on Haku's black hair. "But, I know who your daddy is."

"Naruto." Haku whispered suddenly, like he had said a secret, and Sasuke nodded. "Naruto."

Together they sat on the stools and ordered ramen and didn't mention that they had both cried even when the others found them half an hour later.

* * *

The park had looked plain in the early February day when they had visited before, but as the kids sprinted into the green Sora screamed and sniffed the air, arms outstretched like a plane as she flew down the hill. "Smell yummy!"

The trees that had been half naked earlier on now danced in the light breeze, their branches adorned with the soft pink blooms of plum, delightfully releasing their perfume into the atmosphere.

"What did you say to him?"

Sasuke glanced over at Hinata from his place at the picnic table. He was tired. More tired than he had felt in a few weeks, despite the work load of ending the school year. Behind him the sun was mostly gone, and stars were beginning to sprinkle themselves into the tapestry of blues, purples and pinks of the heavens.

Below them on the fall of the hill at the playground Kiba ran around the play structure, shouting "Boo!" Whenever he found one of the kids who screamed and laughing ran away in the growing dark.

"The truth."

Slowly she pulled herself up onto the picnic table beside him, resting her feet on the bench below, burying her hands into her hair. Together they sat, listening to the sounds of the children playing.

After a stretch Hinata took a breath.

"I'm so tired."

Sasuke sighed and leaned back, letting his head hang, eyes closed. "Hn."

"...we only paid for half of the order." She mumbled into her knees. "The waitress felt awful."

"She should."

"But now I have enough gyoza to feed half of Japan." Hinata's voice wavered and Sasuke sat up abruptly, leaning forward towards her. "I'm sorry, I know we ordered all that stuff but Haku... Haku needed..."

"How did you know to take him to get ramen?" she laughed and her voice was marred by her emotion.

"...we've been there before." Sasuke breathed, and she let out a tearful chuckle. "The lives my kids lead in secret." she murmured.

Unable to respond Sasuke looked down at the grass below their feet. "I'm sorry that Sora got confused, is there something I can do...to make sure that-"

"Sasuke-kun." Hinata sat up suddenly, frowning at him. "She's a child, it's not... I'm not upset."

He cocked his head, his eyes leaving hers to trace the path of one lonely tear sliding down the curve of her cheek. Clenching her jaw Hinata rubbed it away roughly. "It didn't bother me that she got confused, it... it bothers me that she has the opportunity to be confused. She shouldn't have to wonder...if...she should know her dad. She should know him." Her eyes traveled over his face for a moment, studying his pensive focused expression.

"Maybe I'm getting too familiar." His words surprised her and the expression bloomed on her face like a flower opening to the sun. "No, they need... they need you and Kiba, I'm not... I am so thankful for you both. I'm not enough for them."

Startling her his hand was suddenly in her hair at the nape of her neck, pulling her in gently so that their faces were only a few breaths apart, black eyes boring into hers.

"Don't ever say that."

Breath caught in her throat Hinata stared, eyes wide, unable to move.

"Never say that again, it's a lie."

His words slammed into her lips with his breath, and with the plum blossom scent dizzying her she stared, her fingers tightening her grip around his arm.

"Shit!" Kiba's voice made them jump and turn to look down. He was running from the other side of the playground, Haku hot on his heels towards the line of trees that circled the spongy soft ground of the play area.

"Sora?" Hinata whispered, standing abruptly.

"She's in the tree!" Kiba shouted, looking up into the pink blossom branches.

"Oh no," Hinata gasped, and together they ran down the hill, peering in the growing dark at the tiny shifting blonde hoisting herself up higher and higher into the tree.

"How did she get up there?" Hinata gasped, looking at the lowest branch above her head.

"The knobs." Sasuke murmured, touching the half inch of branch left over from pruning all along the trunk of the tree. "I'm going up."

"Sora!" Hinata shouted, panic making the blood pump in her veins so hard she could feel each pulse in her finger tips. "Sora-chan, stop!"

A rain of blossoms showered over them, tangling into Hinata's long hair and clothes as Sasuke pulled himself onto the lowest branch carefully, reaching up quickly to go up again.

The tree wasn't big enough to render a lot of movement easy and he had to weave his torso slowly along the branches until he could see Sora's blue eyes among the flowers and leafs, her grin slowly vanishing at the serious intent look on her darling Kiki's face.

"You have to stop climbing, Sora-chan." Sasuke's voice was calm even as he pushed himself up higher, just below Sora's perch. Her preschool uniform was stained with sticky sap and one of her ponytails was decidedly lower than the other one but besides that she looked okay sitting on the branch with her stocking feet swinging. Blue eyes smiled as much as her mouth, her feet giving an extra peppy kick before her words exited her tiny lips.

"Kiki catch me."

Hinata's sharp intake of breath was all the warning he had before Sora's hands let go and she leaned forward, allowing gravity to do the work of sending her towards the ground below.

It was a split second decision on his part and in retrospect he felt that there was a possibility that he could have done something differently but allowing her to slam into the branches below on the way down wasn't one of the options. So instead he let go of his grip on his branch, caught her in his arms, lost his balance and hit two branches hard with his back before landing on the twisted roots and grass of the tree below.

It was a few seconds before he could really hear what Hinata and Kiba were saying. Sora's crying was a little muted considering how upset she seemed to be and after finally feeling air seep back into his lungs he winced, his back aching.

"Shit." Kiba was gasping, helping him sit up slowly. "Damnit, did you break anything? Can you see clearly?"

Sasuke sat there for a minute trying to catch his breath although expanding his lungs made the soreness on his back burn.

"Aw, damn." He hissed, and looked up to see Sora in Hinata's arms, being furiously kissed by her mother despite the tears that were pouring down the baby's cheeks.

"Is she okay?"

"She's fine. Just scared." Hinata gasped, settling down on her knees beside him. "Sasuke, we should get you to a doctor, you probably have a concussion, or a broken rib-"

"No, I'm okay." he lied, trying not to wince too much. Sora's hiccups were only interrupted by her arms stretching out to him.

"No, Sora-chan, give Sasuke-kun a break." Hinata gasped, her fingers delving into Sasuke's hair to find how far the scratch across his forehead traveled. "You're bleeding there."

"My back." He mumbled and she scooted behind him on her knees, lifting his shirt up and letting out a hiss of air along with Kiba.

"You're going to be black and blue for a bit, buddy." Kiba sighed, squeezing his shoulder. "You hit branches on the way down."

"Oh is that what that was?" Sasuke muttered darkly, moving to stand up slowly.

"I don't know.." Hinata shoved herself to her feet, feeling Haku's little body tight against her leg. "I think you should at least get those cleaned, Sasuke, please... they look bad."

"Just throw some peroxide on it." Kiba peeled Haku from his mother's leg, lifting him up onto his shoulders. "Your house is closer, Hinata, do you have a first aid kit?"

"Yes, let's go. It's okay Sora-chan." Hinata whispered, pressing her forehead to her quieting toddler's cheek. "It's okay, you're fine. Uncle Sasuke was so fast he caught you."

Still a little rattled Sora blinked at her Kiki, blue eyes like storm clouds in summer. "Ouchie."

"She's not going to be climbing for a bit." Kiba grumbled.

"That's what I thought after she broke her arm." Hinata's voice was exasperated, her hand landed gently on Sasuke's arm and pulled, guiding him up the hill back to the train station.

Too dizzy to maneuver the hill on his own Sasuke let her, trying to remember what it was that had been happening before the plum tree nearly knocked his lights out.

* * *

"Bath time!" Kiba was shouting, ignoring Sora's loud protests against cleanliness. Haku followed quietly along, watching with worry as his mother guided an obviously unstable Uncle Sasuke into their apartment and to the family room where she sat him down on the table, flicking on the one lamp before dumping all their bags onto the floor unceremoniously.

"I'm fine, Hinata." Sasuke's voice sounded steady, but glancing at him and seeing the paleness of his face Hinata actually scoffed, making him crack one of his closed eyes open in surprise.

"I'm not a doctor." She mumbled as she pulled out her first aid kit and several ice packs from her freezer. "But I do know what a concussion looks like."

"Get the kids to bed first." He shrugged, "I'm fine right now at least."

"I got the bath thing going." Kiba shouted from the bathroom. "Just get the nasty bruised bloody things on his back cleaned up."

"See." Hinata continued, opening up the first aid kit with hands that were a little shaky. "They're fine."

Sora's irritated shriek echoed through the house. "No bath, Baka!"

"Not super persuaded to agree." Sasuke admitted slowly, jumping at the feel of her hands touching the hem of his shirt, tugging up a little. "Take that off, I can't get at your back." she muttered, popping the lid off the peroxide as she spoke.

A little slowly because movement of any muscle on his back sent throbbing pain pulsing on his shoulder and near his kidney he complied, ruffling his dark hair with one hand before dumping the material on the ground.

Hinata's eyes were down as she poured peroxide onto a cotton pad, moving around to stand behind him.

Raising her pale gaze she paused, even with the bruises quickly forming on his right shoulder blade and left on his lower back he was beautiful. Each muscle shifted beneath the surface of his skin as he straightened, feeling the coolness of the peroxide on his skin at her touch. Biting her lip harder than usual Hinata kept her eyes on the growing bruises, cleaning the debris away with the cotton pad. There was no hiss of distaste or complaint from Sasuke as she worked and after a time the kids were also quiet, their soft voices and Kiba's echoing down the hall at them with the sound of the water crashing as it filled the tub.

"Thank you, Sasuke-kun... I... I think Sora probably would have landed herself in the ER again if it weren't for you." Hinata finally whispered, surprised to find her voice wasn't really working very well.

Her face felt hot, and the soft beds of her fingers slid across his back smoothly, tracing the line of the bruise with a wince before she moved to the one on his lower back.

"I wasn't going to let her fall if I could help it, Hinata."

"I know... b-but thank you."

"Hn."

"Those are going to hurt so much." She sighed, and straightened. "Are you sure nothing's broken? They're already kind of turning green even..."

Carefully she took some more cotton and moved around to his face where a branch had tried to steal some of the skin off his forehead and temple on the way down.

"I am not enjoying the feeling, but if it was broken I think I might know." He replied as she turned to him. Without really thinking about it he opened his legs for her to lean against the table, carefully applying the peroxide to his face, eyes intent on the wound.

A wave of dizziness suddenly made the room shift beneath him and more startled than he wanted to admit his hand grabbed onto her waist. "...fuck... sorry... I'm dizzy..."

His face pressed into her shoulder for a second and he breathed in deep, the smell of her laundry detergent and that ever present lavender and honey seeping into his mind.

As the room began to steady he felt suddenly the rise and fall of her chest, rapid against his shoulder, her hand on his side warm. Slowly straightening he paused with his cheek near her ear, taking in a sharp breath at the feel of her hand sliding along his side, a shiver traipsing down her back.

Her own startled gasp for air made him pull back, eyes searching hers with something that was either hope or terror.

For a moment Hinata stared back, pink mouth parted slightly with her uncertainty, feeling more and more acutely his knees on either side of her hips and his stomach inches from her own.

His dark eyes had never been quite that close, she could see herself in them, see her own startled expression, her own pink cheeks and the way her lips were open as though yearning.

"...no..." his whisper snapped the tension and she stumbled back sharply, tearing her hands from his skin.

"...K..Kiba-kun." She grabbed his shirt, passing it at him. "Kiba-kun are they done?"

Quickly Sasuke threw the garment over his head and stood, heart hammering in his chest. The room swayed for a moment but he had not managed as a drunk for years without gaining something. Rapidly he grabbed his jacket and then his bag as she walked down the hall to the bathroom.

"I think Sasuke-kun should- needs to go home. Can you-" she began as she stepped into the bathroom, her face so red she stopped to stare at herself in the mirror.

Kiba was sitting on the edge of the bathtub and as she entered he studied her, her trembling hands and her pink face and his eyes softened, trailing behind her to Sasuke who passed by the door of the bathroom to put his shoes on, head down, neck equally pink.

"Of course, I'll head out with him." He nodded, trading places with her, giving her arm a gentle squeeze as he passed.

Hinata blinked rapidly and moved to sit on the ground next to the bathtub, willing herself to give her babies a smile even as her heart was threatening to punch out of her chest.

"Ready?" Kiba inquired softly to Sasuke who was standing by the door with his fingers entwined behind his neck, elbows forward as though trying to block out sound. "Yes. Let's go."

"See you later, Hina-chan." Kiba called quietly, following the Uchiha out the door.

Hearing the apartment door close Hinata lowered her forehead to the bathtub edge, closing her eyes, trying to dispel the feel of his knees on either side of her hips, and the smoothness of his skin from her fingertips.

* * *

 _ **Yikes.**_

 _ **leave me some love, ne?**_

 _ **Inky**_


	16. Chapter 16

_**A.N**_

 _ **I'm still updating regularly but my fried insomniac brain is taking a bit of time to recoup. I'm getting six hours of sleep instead of four- count your blessings right?**_

 _ **I did edit this chapter, but again, the fried noodles in my head combined with pressing chores needing to be done probably made it a less than well edited chapter. Forgive me.**_

 _ **Much love,**_

 _ **Inky**_

* * *

 _"So, what happened this time?"_

 _He was staying closer to him than usual and the words although quiet were heard despite the chaos of the station platform, the trains rumbling muffling above the fray of words from the crowd._

 _Sasuke didn't look at him, didn't think he could make eye contact with anyone. The ground was still unsteady the way several shots of tequila and a gin and tonic would make him feel on an empty stomach so he was glad for Kiba's proximity, just not his question._

 _"What are you talking about?"_

 _Why did he always try this route? It was insulting and he knew better but to answer the question honestly seemed like an impossibility. Kiba was not stupid, Sasuke wouldn't be able to handle a stupid friend and yet he always fell back on that, as if it had ever worked before._

 _As if reading his thoughts Kiba let out one short humorless little laugh, dragging his nauseated idiot friend into the train as it pulled to a stop before all the seats were filled._

 _"This whole thing is getting old." He murmured, plopping Sasuke onto a seat and standing over him while the train began to move, blocking the bright painful lights along the cabin ceiling. Sasuke didn't look at him, just felt the way his eyes focused on his face and held there, determined._

 _"Whatever happened I think it's time you finally stopped being a moron and got a move on."_

 _"Kiba, it's not that easy."_

 _"I never said easy, I said stop being a moron."_

 _"Argh." This conversation really was getting old. Sasuke swayed with the rhythm of the train and felt like maybe his eyes weren't screwed into his head right. Breathing in deep he shut them tight and saw immediately Hinata's stunned face, her mouth inches from his, hesitating._

 _"She likes you."_

 _"No."_

 _"She does, I saw her come in the bathroom she was beet red."_

 _"She's beet red when someone calls her name in the school hallway."_

 _Kiba's hand reached out, grabbed him by the shoulder pushed him against the wall, startling him and nearly making him shove back , one hand gripping his friend's arm with warring anxiety he stared at the sad brown eyes before him._

 _"You need to stop insulting my intelligence you pompous prick." Around them people teetered in surprise at the exchange, watching._

 _"If I could make her look like that we would not be having this conversation, believe me. This whole 'respecting the dead husband thing' what the fuck is that?" His fist tightened around Sasuke's shirt and in his slightly concussed mind Sasuke pondered if landing a punch to his friend's face was even possible in his condition, irritation swimming just beneath the surface of his dark eyes._

 _"Let go of me, Inuzuka."_

 _"If I died and she was my wife I'd want you with her and I'd want you with her now, I'd want you to make her forget me."_

 _His words made him wince. "You have no idea what you're talking about."_

 _"The fuck I don't. I saw her face, I haven't got a girl that hot and bothered in years."_

 _"It's not about that." Sasuke's shove was aggressive and Kiba pulled back, frowning. "I'm a fucking screw up, Kiba. I'm not half of Naruto- I will mess this family up." His words were coming quick and soft and hiss like and switching roles he pulled Kiba down._

 _"I am not capable of standing up to the_ _ **memory**_ _of her dead husband, you idiot. I will mess them up one way or the other, I'll get scared or be unsure or angry or I'll start drinking again and then what?" his eyes searched Kiba's. "Then what do they have?"_

 _"Tch." Kiba grumbled, grabbing his arm and hauling him up against his protests. "You think Naruto was perfect but I'm sure there were issues there, there always are."_

 _"You didn't know him."_

 _"I don't have to know him."_

 _Sasuke shook his head, allowing him to throw his arm over Kiba's shoulder and start out the door at his train station._

 _"I still want to drink all the time, Kiba... I don't but I still want to."_

 _"Well, when you feel like you need a drink just go and get concussed." Kiba muttered. "You're worse than drunk right now believe me, I don't recall having to haul your ass home once in the last five years of bar hopping and today of all days I'm dragging you home. The one day I wanna punch you."_

 _"...maybe I should quit and move."_

 _"Oh for the love of..." Kiba growled. "I cannot believe how much more annoying you are as a martyr than you are as a self centered dick you know that? It's actually mind boggling."_

 _Reaching his apartment Sasuke dug around in his pockets for his keys, keeping a hold on the entrance door to steady himself._

 _"I'm actually going to go away for the break, just so you know."_

 _"What?" Sasuke stopped with the key in the doorway, trying to keep his eyes focused on his face. "Where?"_

 _"Back home."_

 _"Home." The word was obviously not one Sasuke particularly liked using and as Kiba smirked he frowned some more. "Where?"_

 _"Okinawa. My mom has been bugging me and I haven't seen my sisters in a couple of years. I need to clear my head."_

 _"But..." Sasuke began, trying to think how the hell he would even be able to manage spending time with Hinata and the kids alone without Kiba, at least with Kiba there questions about the parenthood of the kids sort of fluttered in people's faces so no one said anything stupid like the waitress at the Gyoza place. But with just Sasuke there they framed them in a family portrait and threw away the key before even talking to them._

 _And then there was Hinata's expression tonight and his subsequent running out the door._

 _"You're going to be fine." Kiba muttered darkly at him. "I am done babysitting you two."_

 _"Maybe I'll go somewhere myself."_

 _"You would be the most idiotic person I know if you did that."_

 _"Damnit, Kiba." Sasuke finally ripped open the foyer door. He didn't say anything else. It wasn't like he could make him stay and he sure as hell wasn't going to be begging him to, but this meant anything he had hoped to do with the kids during the school break was going to simply not happen. He was going to hide in his hole of an apartment all spring break and come out when Hinata was married to someone else, hopefully living in a different country._

 _"I can't do this anymore." Kiba's voice made him start as they reached his apartment door down the hallway, and finally exhausted Sasuke leaned against the wall, burying his face in his hands and rubbing hard for a second._

 _"What?"_

 _"I can't sit around and watch you watch her, and watch her watch you. It's a nightmare." Kiba ripped his keys from his hand and then aggressively opened the door, shoving him a little more roughly in than needed._

 _"Nothing is going to happen." Sasuke began again and Kiba let out a sigh. "Yeah I know, whatever. Point is, I want something to happen to me, I want to go away and come back and not give a shit who ends up with Hinata Hyuuga, okay? I'm done the unrequitted love thing."_

 _"Tch." Sasuke muttered, kicking his shoes off as he stumbled down the hall and promptly flopped onto his bed stomach down. "If you figure out how to not give a shit..."_

 _"I'll pass on the recipe." His friend nodded, looking around for a second. "Do you need anything though? Like should I have brought you to a hospital do you think?"_

 _"No."_

 _"Okay. If you start throwing up or something, try to call me. I'll keep my phone near."_

 _"Hn."_

 _"I'll see you at the start of school then."_

 _"You're leaving right away?"_

 _"Yeah. I'm going back to the school now to finish my mess of marking and then I'm going in the morning. I'm done, Sasuke. I mean it."_

 _A deep tired sigh was his reply from the bed. "You suck."_

 _Smirking a little sadly Kiba stepped out. "Nice to know you'll miss me you weirdo."_

 _And then he was gone, leaving Sasuke with a sick feeling in his gut that he knew had nothing to do with the concussion._

Arriving at the school the next day to finish up the things he should have done the night before Sasuke realized Kiba had not been joking. The halls were still littered with wandering kids, and teachers finishing up. He remembered vaguely how back home at the end of the school year the building seem to whisper with the ghosts of people, empty aside from the occasional workaholic teacher. Here it was different, teachers worked through the break more often than not and students plopped themselves into the library to study regularly. Sometimes every day.

But Kiba was nowhere to be seen.

"I think he said he would be gone for the break." Tsunade admitted when Sasuke inquired about him at her door. "I thought if he went anywhere he would have told you- or Hyuuga-san. You three are joined at the hip lately."

Blinking at that description Sasuke turned away. "Not really."

Ignoring her raised eyebrow he moved towards his desk and sat there, glaring at Kiba's empty chair across from him with distaste.

"Hey, Uchiha-san." Tsunade added from her office, peering at him with a frown. "What happened to your face?"

Reaching up to touch the scabbing strip on his forehead and temple he sighed. "Got into an argument with a tree."

Puzzled, Tsunade raised both brows. "Wha-?"

Sasuke's phone ringing suddenly made him jump, and slowly he pulled it out, knowing and yet hoping that he was wrong about who was on the other end.

Licking his dry lips he turned away from Tsunade, raising the cell to his ear.

"Hinata." He sounded breathless even now. Damn. _Calm the fuck down, Uchiha._

 _"...HI, Sasuke-kun. I was... Um... I've been... uh, trying to get a hold of Kiba-kun, but.."_

"He's gone home, to Okinawa to visit his family for the school break." He winced, leaning his head back to see if Tsunade was listening. Thankfully she had wandered back to her desk, looking puzzled by his reply about the scrape on his face.

 _"Oh!"_

"Hai."

The silence extended for a long moment and then HInata's soft sigh made him lean forward on his desk, pressing his face into his forearm.

 _"Thank you, for telling me that... um... How... how is your back?"_

This conversation was painful, jaw clenching for a moment Sasuke made a noise that was neither a "good" nor a "bad."

"I'm not paralyzed."

Her laugh was quiet and nervous. _"G-g-good. Well, I'll... let you go, Sasuke-kun."_

"Hai."

 _"Bye."_

Like so many moments before she was going to move forward as though it had not happened. HIs grip on her in the shower while she wept, his arms around her in her bed while she slept, and now this. None of them happened.

"Kiba, you're out of your mind." he murmured, moving to take his work out of his bag, wondering why he was so upset. This was what he wanted after all.

Wasn't it?

* * *

It had been over a week.

Haku and Sora dozed on the floor in the family room, watching cartoons, eyes glazed, their arms wrapped around blankets and pillows they had dragged from their rooms. The table was littered with the remnants of breakfast and lunch and she was still in bed, in her pajamas, staring at her phone.

He had not called, and neither had Kiba.

 _They finally got tired of me._

Sighing she buried her face further into the mattress, pulling the blanket over her head, hoping that the cover would keep her safe from the feeling of guilt of letting the kids watch TV from when they woke up until the afternoon. Soon their little brains would be nothing but a soupy gooey mess of gray and nothing she said would ever get through to them again.

But she couldn't get up.

Since Naruto's funeral she had not stopped. Her school work had dominated her life, taking care of the kids, selling the house, finalizing the travel arrangements, keeping everything hidden from her family, applying for her job, signing the kids up for daycare in Japan, figuring out where she was going to live.

The list had been endless, her movements had to be discreet and like someone who was doing too much she had been clenching everything in a fistful of nerves for months, until now. Her first break.

The idea had been that she would do what Kiba said and make new memories. Outside of her window she could see that the cherry blossoms that lined almost every street were starting to bloom, the slow growth of pink getting more and more fluffy with each passing day. She had even researched on her phone the festivals in their town, the fireworks and dancers. The kids could wear their kimonos again. She could wear her own kimono, the one Sasuke had picked...

But instead she lay there and stared at the festival information and dropped her phone beneath the cover of her pillows, closing her eyes. Maybe tomorrow.

That was seven days ago.

There was only a few days left before she had to get her butt back to the school, and the kids to daycare, to prep anything for the new classes that might be different than last years. But the motivation was simply not there to move or eat.

She had not even read any of Naruto's letters, they reflected the light of the sun at dusk and glowed from their place on her shelf in her room, as if daring her to ignore them. She always managed to.

"Oka-san." Haku's voice was soft and unfocused. "Oka-san, can we go play at the playground with Uncle Sasuke and Uncle Kiba?"

Hinata sighed from beneath the covers.

"...Uncle Kiba is not here, honey. He's... uh... he went to see his family somewhere."

"Oh."

"Want Kiki, mama. I want Kiki."

In the last week alone Sora's sentences had become more polished, although the Kiki and Baka seemed to be too firmly ingrained to be shifted.

"No, Sora-chan, not today."

"But, mama!" Haku called, obviously in agreement with his sister.

"He's busy."

"Oka-san!" HIs whine as uncharacteristic and she grimaced, rubbing her face with the back of her hand beneath the cover.

"We can go to the park though, let's do that."

"But I want Kiki come." Sora had adopted her brother's whiney tone and for the first time ever Hinata thought she might throw something. The twitch in her hand made her start and she stared at her palm like it wasn't part of her body.

"We need to get out of here." she whispered, pushing the covers off slowly.

"I want Kiki come."

"No." her voice sounded defeated and she crawled out of bed towards her closet, rummaging among the clothes without looking very well at any of them.

"Oka-san!"

"No, Sora-chan."

"But Oka-san!"

"Stop it!" Hinata spun around the two kids jump as they entered her room, their eyes wide. Sora lifted her fingers to her mouth, her blue eyes filling with tears even as she stood frozen.

"...oh..." feeling the fight drain out of her Hinata lowered herself down to the ground, her thoughts ramming each other inside her head for attention. She didn't want to see Sasuke, didn't want to be near him, and at the same time wishe desperately that he would call. Her kids needed him, in a way she had not realized and now wished wasn't the case, and yet...

Her eyes shifted slowly to the letters, their smooth white envelopes stacked neatly on the shelf.

"We're going to go to the park." She began more softly, turning her face back to her kids who had yet to move, staring at her with a wariness she had never seen before.

"We will get lunch and then go shopping for some new summer clothes for you, okay?" she smiled, and as she did the tears pooled at the corners of her eyes. "And we will have fun. But there will be no Uncle Sasuke, today. Next week he and Uncle Kiba will pick you up from daycare again, just like before. Okay?"

The kids looked back at her uncertainly, watching their mother pull herself off the floor, taking the first dress and tights she could get her hands on off the hangers. "Lets get out of here."

* * *

He had not realized how exhausted he was until he slept in well past noon and woke feeling like he could sleep another twelve hours without problem. The sleeping pill he had bothered to take had made him groggy and now he waited in bed, listening to the thumping of his blood through his body as the effects slowly wore off, the clouds of the spring day swimming past his window slowly like the medication through his cells.

"...seven days." He whispered, and his hand lifted up with the phone in his grip, staring at the calendar and clock on the glowing face with an impassive expression that just barely hid the dislike.

She had not called him, or texted him once.

Coming home on the Tuesday after Kiba left having finished anything he could possibly do at work that day he stared into his empty fridge and realized that he had not had dinner at home on Tuesday or Thursday for several months. Hinata always made dinner at her house for everyone on baby sitting days and he rarely got home before ten in the evening, exhausted and happy to pass out without so much as a glance at his kitchen.

The cabinet to the right of the fridge had beckoned then, the gin he had rationed out and then flat out ignored lingered in the space between the cupboard door and the back of the kitchen wall, throbbing with it's existence.

Deciding he couldn't be home he had gone out for a run, and again the next day and the next day until by accident he had spent a large part of his March break sweating and fighting off the need to pickle his liver.

Sleep only came with the pills, and even then he would wake groggy and his muscles tense like ribbons tightly holding balloons to the earth. His mind would play games with him in the stillness and the sound of her gasp the last time he saw her would play over and over in his head until he would drag himself blearily to the shower to drown himself in the freezing cold downpour.

He had never struggled with the concept of singleness. His attraction to women was something that only seemed to even occur to him several drinks into the night. Their bodies although pretty rarely made his heart stutter or his blood rush, but she did.

She made it hard to sleep.

The look in her face rushed through his mind again, her parted lips, and the soft intake of breath as she stared at him.

"Ugh." he grumbled, burying himself into his pillow before throwing the covers off aggresively.

"That's it."

Grabbing the first pair of pants and shirt he could find he stumbled to the bathroom to brush his teeth and wash his face, glancing at the clock in his living room before shoving his feet in his shoes, his hand already dialing the number.

It rang once, twice and then three times, making him anxious as he threw his black jacket on his shoulders and then her voice sounding surprised and a little distracted answered, making him swallow hard.

 _"Sasuke-kun?"_

"Where are you?" His abruptness seemed to surprise her but he couldn't really do much more than continue on, locking his door and starting down the hall to the street, shoving his keys in his pocket aggressively.

 _"Uh... I'm out... why? Is everything okay?"_

"What street are you on?"

 _"Uh..."_ she was floundering and he wondered briefly if he should have asked if he could see her. Could she possibly be on a date? For a second he stopped and held on to the foyer door of his apartment building, waiting with bated breath.

 _"I... I'm actually lost."_ she admitted, and something about her small voice made him press his forehead to the glass of the door, eyes closed. _"I think... I'm by the public library- or at least... at least that's where I thought I was going... "_ Less focused on him she heard her sigh, her tone taking on a slightly exasperated tone. _"Yes, Haku- yes, it's Uncle Sasuke, he's gonna find us in a minute- please be patient."_

"Haku." Sasuke sighed, and allowed himself one hard knock against the glass of the door. "FInd a street sign and tell me what the intersection is okay?"

"Hai... a...are you sure you're okay? You sound..."

"I just... want to see you...all"

For a long second Hinata breathed on the other side of the phone, and he wondered what her lips tasted like in that moment. He knew how much she loved cinammon rolls, and the thought of tasting the sugar and spices on her mouth made him drag in a rough breath.

"Did you find a street sign?"

"O-oh... um- yes..."

Quickly he wandered past the door and down the street, regretting not getting himself out of the house sooner.

* * *

Kiba stretched lazily in his chair, up and up towards the ceiling until a pop snapped from his back and he sighed, grinning at Sasuke's disgusted expression across from him.

"You should spend some time at the beach." He sighed. "Might get that vampire look to fade a little."

"I think I'm fine, thanks."

"So." His friend smirked and leaned forward on his elbows to study him. They had arrived at the same time, long before any sign of anyone else except for Tsunade-san and the lounge was mercifully empty. After a gruff and hardly existant hello they had fallen back into step, dumping their items on the ground and pulling out their work for the start of a whole new school year.

Outside the sun was just starting to gain momentum, dazzling the courtyard at the center of the school building with light and sending the cherry blossom that had sat ugly and sullen all winter into a sparkling mess of pink.

Sasuke stared at it, thinking about HInata's expression when they wandered through the cherry blossom festival downtown, her eyes sparkling like the stars.

"It was fine."

"Mhm?"

"Yes."

"Did you hide in your apartment the whole time?" Kiba wasn't looking at him anymore, his fingers fiddled through his files and dumped a handful on the table top, keeping his eyes away.

"...no. I only saw her a couple of times." Sasuke admitted reluctantly, knowing that if he didn't give him something to go on he wouldn't stop nagging until he gave in.

"So no declaration, or confession from either of you?"

"Ugh, Kiba."

Kiba shook his head, tapping a pen hard against the edge of his desk. "You're both completely hopeless."

"Did you find a girlfriend out there?" Sasuke asked, just to get the topic changed. He couldn't really take another useless comment from him so early in the morning, dazzling cherry blossoms or no.

"Ha." Kiba smirked, glancing up at him briefly. "Mostly I read, and fell in love with some fictional characters that are too perfect for real life. So yes and no, I guess. I could just remain this way forever, get a couple dogs and a book store and call it a life, no?"

Sasuke stared at him for a second. "No."

"It's plan B, I'm not aiming for that, but you know, if the girlfriend thing falls through." Kiba deadpanned as if Sasuke were slow.

Shaking his head Sasuke opened his mouth to reply with more sass than he was accustomed to since he was in a good mood and stopped, blinking, his eyes focused on the courtyard through the teacher lounge windows.

"What the-?"

Turning Kiba followed his gaze, and also frowned.

A girl- or woman rather was standing in front of the Sakura tree. Her brown hair fell down to her shoulders and was pulled back from her face by a small black glittering band. With her back to them they could see she was small, certainly no bigger than the students except for that she was in proffesional wear, her cream dress shirt tucked into a smooth burgundy pencil skirt and her heels were high, accenting the curve of her calf and the delicate bones of her ankle in the black pumps.

"Um." Kiba began slowly, watching her cock her head to the right as she looked up to the sky through the branches of the cherry blossoms dancing in the breeze.

"...Who?"

"Oh!" Tsunade's voice made them jump and the boys looked over at her peeking out of her office. "There she is- she must have come in through the back." The blonde smiled, heading to open the door to the courtyard from the side of the room.

Kiba and Sasuke watched equally confused.

"Hello, I'm Principal Tsunade." their eccentric boss began, her hair ruffling in the breeze passing through as she peered out the door at the woman. "Are you...?"

"Hello, Tsunade-san, we spoke on the phone briefly." the girl's voice was gentle her eyes bright with a smile. "I'm Tamaki-san. Your new secretary."

Suddenly from behind them they heard a voice that made them turn, Hinata blinking at the exchange happening before them with curious eyes that turned to smiles. "Oh... a new friend." she cocked her head and looked at the boys happily.

Neither of them had any idea what to say in reply.

* * *

 _ **Ohhhhhh, did you forget about that old secretary retiring in the last chapter?**_

 _ **;)**_

 _ **leave me some love, ne?**_

 _ **-inky**_


	17. Chapter 17

_**A.N**_

 ** _If you're wondering if Tamaki-san is an OC- actually no, she's not! I know right!_**

 ** _Go google that ;)_**

 _ **Much love,**_

 _ **Inky**_

* * *

 _When the spring comes I swear I can't bear to be inside, at least, not unless all the windows and doors are open. Do you remember the dawn on the flats in the morning, right as the sun was starting to come up over the first mountains by the highway?_

 _I remember us riding our bikes down the middle of the road and feeling the mud splash up onto our backs as we got the hell out of Mr. Kakashi's apple orchard with baskets full of his apples. He was always so pissed. He still lives there you know? I kind of wonder if Haku would be the type of kid to go into someone's property to steal fruit and I kind of doubt it. Sora on the other hand..._

 _Where ever you are, I hope you remember the times we spent in spring and summer exploring the town and the woods, breaking bones and getting into fights. I want a magical childhood like that for my kids, and when they're older I am praying you will be here to help me show them how to build a fort in the black berry bushes._

 _Hinata has been feeling a lot better since getting out of the hospital. She's quiet and I think that she's struggling with things happening the way they did for Sora's birth but seeing her outside in the sun pulling weeds with Haku I feel much calmer._

 _You know what would make me happy, having you two be close. I mean, don't get any funny ideas, she's mine, but it's weird for me to have her not know you. Sometimes I turn to her and I want to say "Remember that time Sasuke and I-" and I realize I've never told her that story. You're the only person in the world who knows some of those stories and I don't know where you are._

 _I'll find you one day, one way or the other. If you ever feel someone punch your face without warning in the middle of the street consider this an apology in advance. You're going to need a nose job by the time I'm finished getting this off my chest._

 _Your brother always_

 _Naruto_

Sasuke stared at the paper in his hands, waiting beneath the shade of the sakura tree in the front of the school, feeling the petals that were being scattered through the locks of his hair by the wind.

Sometime after Sora's birth Naruto's letters became less static, changing from month to month from light and nostalgic to angry. He would go from threats to find him to mentioning his brother,something he had only done vaguely and in passing the many years of letters before.

Frowning down at it he held the paper a little stiffly, wondering if the ones with his questions about his brother would ever be ones he would allow Hinata to read. But her voice in the dark of her apartment had been clear that day, when he had apologized for his cruelty to her husband, her eyes had been determined and set in stone.

 _One day, I'm going to ask why..._

Breathing in deep Sasuke folded the letter and tucked it back into his bag, glancing over his shoulder as he began to undo the top button on his dress shirt, the heat of the spring afternoon starting to get the better of him despite the shade.

Where were they?

Glancing at the school doors again he paused, surprised to see someone out of school uniform standing at the top of the steps, looking left and right as though searching for something. Wincing as her bright pink hair reflected the afternoon sun Sasuke took a step back and then paused, seeing her green eyes land on him at the movement.

 _Damnit._

Her steps were light, feathery on the school stairs and she wandered over with a shy careful smile, her arms crossed behind her back.

"Uchiha...well I guess you're not sensei, anymore though right?" she smiled and he took a breath. "Haruno-san."

"How are you?"

"Tired, just waiting to go home." He winced a little at the small talk, having never been good at such things. But with the "cruel" conversation he had had with Hinata about this very topic he struggled, trying to think of things he had heard other people say to each other. People who gave a damn overall about being polite.

"May I walk with you?" she cocked her head and he bit the inside of his cheek. Did the conversation have to be long? That's not what Hinata had said. Just a no, is what she had stated. She just needs to hear no.

Well, maybe they could meet him at the train station, right?

"I suppose." He allowed, turning towards the gate, watching with wariness as her eyes lit up like sparklers in a dark night. "Great."

Together they began their walk onto the street, Sakura quietly studying the trees that bowed heavy with their blossoms on either side of the road, their bark dark in contrast with their cotton candy tresses.

"I'm going to be studying near here this year." She murmured. "Just some upgrades before trying out for medical school."

"You're going to be a doctor?"

"Yes. That's the plan anyway." she nodded and her hair glimmered in the sunlight.

For a moment they continued in silence, and she reached out to catch a petal that drifted lazily in the heat of the day, alighting softly on her palm.

"You know why I came to talk to you, right?" She didn't break stride, her eyes on the little pink bit of nothing in her hand.

Sasuke sighed, keeping his eyes forward. "You mentioned you would."

"...I haven't changed." she stepped forward and began to walk backwards, looking at him shyly her cheeks pink as the petals behind her. "My feelings about you, they haven't changed."

Watching her out of the corner of his eye Sasuke kept up a slow steady pace, wondering what exactly one says to that. Feelings are, after all, like stomach aches. They come and fade, the reason for them after all could be anything.

He blinked at her slowly as she began to stop and forced him to pause in front of her, aware that she had been aptly named. The cherry blossoms showered the street in their color, and among them Sakura looked like she belonged. She was not a girl but a wood nymph, something made of earth and spirit and light and with her green eyes trained on him he sighed inwardly. Out there somewhere someone would have found her captivating, overwhelming even. Out there somewhere there was a boy or man who would see her and stop breathing, but as it were for him, she was too much.

There was too much beauty and not enough edges to her smile. She had not been broken, had not had to fight to keep tears down, or gripped her pillow in distress at her loneliness at night. She had not smiled despite the agonies inside her, her strength came from her brightness, from her spring.

He wanted something else... he wanted a ray of sunshine through the parting clouds of winter snow.

"Haruno-san."

"Don't answer me right now." She shook her head. "I am not going to receive anything you say right now because it's too soon. You saw me in the halls of that school recently running around in that uniform and you're... you're a good man, Sasuke." His name on her lips made him start, one barrier he had not thought she would jump so lightly overtaken in a second.

"So how about we just agree to leave it there, for now... think about it." She shrugged, reaching out to touch his hand, pressing a piece of paper into his unwilling fist.

"I'll see you, okay?"

"Haruno-san-"

"Bye!" and she was gone, rushing down the street with her hair waving in the breeze until she turned and disappeared. Standing there Sasuke looked after her, furious with himself and confused. Just a no. It was supposed to just be a no.

"Oi!" Someone shouted behind him and Sasuke turned slowly, a little frown tingeing his mouth at the sight of Kiba and Hinata coming towards him from the school, Kiba waving his arm over his head at him.

Slowly he raised his hand to wave, remembering the paper Sakura had left there he pulled it apart and stared at her number, shoving it in his pocket before the eyes of his friends could linger questioningly on him.

"You left without us." Kiba grumbled. "What the heck?"

"I... just had to talk to someone." Sasuke shrugged, ignoring Hinata's knowing gaze on him, her puzzled curious expression slowly wiped from her face as their eyes met for a second.

"Shall we go?" she murmured, and started through the blossoms, keeping her hands tightly wrapped around her bag.

* * *

"This new batch of students is far more up my alley." Kiba announced, plopping into his chair at his desk with a sigh of contentment. "They're smart, they're invested, they're quiet."

HInata smiled at him from Sasuke's desk as she organized the piles of marking he had not been able to keep up with since the start of term. It seemed unlike home a new school year here hit the ground running and already she was elbow deep in work she had to take home.

"I think the last batch was just as lovely."

"You think everyone is lovely, Hina-chan." Kiba threw back. And as the door slid open and Tamaki-san stepped into the lounge he made a face. "Even her."

Hinata allowed herself one sharp look in his direction before turning to Tamaki-san with a smile. "Good afternoon, Tamaki-san."

"Hi, Hyuuga-san!" Tamaki walked over slowly, keeping her eyes decidedly away from Kiba who was glaring at her with distaste, arms crossed.

"I was wondering if you had the receipts for the field trip that class 2-b took to the museum on Monday last week?"

Tamaki was small, about an inch or so smaller than Hinata and to compensate it seemed she was comfortable wearing high heeled shoes that made Hinata admire her sense of adventure. The pumps on her feet that day were a deep velvet red. They were smooth and simple and mostly calm except for the near four inch height they added to her slim build. Smiling Hinata nodded. "Sasuke-er... Uchiha-san had it around here somewhere, I saw it and I told him to put it on the pegboard but..." she shrugged. "Sometimes they listen."

"Most of the time not." the girl laughed, and her brown eyes smiled too.

"We're not dogs. Orders don't usually go over so well with men." Kiba interrupted suddenly, fixing Tamaki with a look that was more withering and less welcoming.

Hinata blinked at him from across the desk, surprised. "Kiba-kun, don't be-"

"Some are." Tamaki replied gently, cocking her head with her lips pursed tightly. "Do you have your receipt? I did ask you for it in the morning and you said you would get it to me to file to the school board before noon."

Frowning a little Kiba replied. "Left it on your desk, like I said I would."

"I didn't see it."

"Well, look again."

Taking a deep breath Tamaki turned to Hinata. "When you find it, Hyuuga-san, could you please leave it on my desk along with Inuzuka-san's? Perhaps you will be able to find it there, since I cannot."

Hinata blinked at her mildly, perturbed. "Um..."

Scoffing Kiba flipped open his laptop and started to type, his keys clicking aggressively. Tamaki turned and walked out of the room, her heels making a clicking noise as she went.

Slowly Hinata turned back to Kiba, eyes wide. "What just happened?"

"That... that...woman." He muttered, his face still down to the screen of his lap top. "So irritating."

"Did you hand in the receipt?" Hinata already knew the answer but for the sake of clarity she figured she would ask.

"...no... I forgot, but I mean really, she's so condescending."

"She is not." Hinata laughed, and as Sasuke stepped in, looking puzzled she motioned to Kiba. "Tell him Tamaki-san is not condescending, please."

"She's pissed, if anything." He replied coming to stand behind her, resting his arm on the back of her chair. "What did you do now, Inuzuka? Tamaki-san looked ready to murder someone on the way to her office."

"Nothing! God, you took her side right off the bat, some friend you are."

"First week she was here he jammed both the copy machines and since he had never in his entire time working here had to file any paperwork because the old secretary never seemed to care they got off on the wrong foot."

"Why do we have to file it now? This is my second year and we've never."

"That's probably not a good thing, Kiba-kun." Hinata winced.

"Well, the copy machine thing wasn't my fault anyway. They jam all the time."

"She had to go to the photocopiers to get all the schedules for the students printed half an hour before classes started, Kiba." Sasuke muttered. "I would be mildly irritated with you too if you pulled that crap on my first week of working somewhere."

"Well, whatever. She's annoying."

"You're annoying."

Biting her lip Hinata watched the exchange with mild amusement and worry. "Why do I keep you around?" Kiba finally gasped, chucking a paper clip at him. "It's not like you need to be on her side for her to like you, she's already all pink whenever you walk in the door."

Keeping her expression decidedly frozen on her face Hinata turned back to her work, fiddling through papers.

"Don't be stupid." Sasuke grumbled, plopping down on the chair next to her.

"She kind of does though." Hinata suddenly mumbled, making both Kiba and Sasuke turn to look at her like she had suddenly started speaking a different language.

"Heh." Kiba smirked and glancing at Sasuke briefly, he leaned back, crossing his arms behind his head. "Jealous?"

The color could not have rushed to Hinata's face faster, and slowly her pale gaze rose to Kiba's, her gray eyes wide and all consuming as she stared at him.

"W-w-w-what?"

"Kiba." Sasuke snapped but before he could say anything else the door opened again and Tamaki walzed in, heels slamming into the ground as she stormed around the tables and leaned into Kiba suddenly nearly making him fall off his chair with her sudden proximity.

"The photocopy machine is jammed, Inuzuka-san." She wasn't yelling or speaking loudly, but her one hand was leaning on the armrest of his chair and with the height of her heels the position made him lean back away from her desperately, feeling the soft touch of her brown hair along his neck.

"I had nothing to do with it! Go and bug someone else, Tamaki-san."

Attempts at keeping his face upset were failing, color was rising to his cheeks at the feel of her knee bumping his, her brown eyes determined.

"Please go and see if you can fix it, Inuzuka-san. The lesson plans with your name all over them are what's stuck in the rollers." she pushed away suddenly and stormed back out, closing the sliding door with surprising quietness.

Sasuke and Hinata stared at Kiba, eyes wide as he melted into the chair. "She's... she's an animal that woman- how can either of you stand her?" he gasped, sitting up to glare at them.

Hinata smirked a little, reminding him too much of Sasuke in that moment.

"Well, I like her."

"Hn." Sasuke agreed, and Kiba could only sigh in exasperation.

* * *

In the late afternoons when she had to teach the English class after school Hinata actually found it was nice to be the last one in the school. The cherry blossom trees were so wild in the evening wind and with the heat of the spring day seeping out of the pavement she felt almost toasty in her sweater on the way home most days.

Happily, the winter took with it the early darkness and walking towards the front doors she sighed in relief to see the brightness of another beautiful dusk through the frames of glass across the front of the school.

Holding her bag in front of her she paused in front of the doors, studying the view for a moment before heading forward and stopping abruptly at the sound of someone letting out an annoyed little curse and a sad sigh to her right.

Down one of the halls with the lower grades she peered. She had rarely ever set foot there as the classes were too young for her to help teach. But as she approached the corner she saw that the office for the school was still open, it's usually locked doors and lack of light a surprise in the late evening.

"...Tamaki-san?" she peered through the service window where a computer still buzzed, trying to see where the soft little voice had come from.

"Eh?" a voice called, and Hinata peered around the door frame at the little nook next tot he desk where a photocopier was currently being torn apart. Paper bits and several rollers and one of the paper drawers were scattered all over the office floor, and Tamaki-san was on her knees elbow deep in the machine, her pretty pink blouse rolled up to the sleeves, her heels sitting ignored beside her.

"Hyuuga-san!" she cried. "Thank goodness! Please, can you help me?"

Wrinkling her nose HInata stepped inside slowly, studying the disaster she had made all over the floor with care. "Ano... I don't know much about these things... usually Sasu-Uchiha-san fixes it for me when it jams."

"Oh..." Tamaki muttered with a small frown as she rummaged around inside the mechanics of the photocopier. "Darn... I should have asked him again. I asked earlier today but he said he didn't know anything about it."

Blinking Hinata bit her lip. "Ah... well... Uchiha-san... can get pretty busy so..."

"You're right... it was probably just that. Ano, can you just come look at this? It looks to me like Inuzuka-baka tried to print a booklet that was too many pages again. I told him not to do it again after this morning but here I am again..."

Smiling a little Hinata knelt down beside her, peering at the crevice in the machine thoughtfully. "Hm... no, I see what you're talking about." she pushed her sleeve up to her elbow, slipping her thin fingers inside and wiggling them about until she gripped an edge of the tangled booklet.

"It's stuck really well." she grumbled, suddenly understanding the irritation with Kiba that had been the bane of Tamaki's existence.

"Yes, hence all the mess." Tamaki sighed, waving a hand at the torn paper all over the floor and Hinata suddenly laughed. "I was wondering. I thought a cat had got in here."

"My cat!" Tamaki sighed. "Aw, no.. I was supposed to let it back in hours ago. Ugh, that baka."

"You mean Inuzuka-san?"

"Yes, that one."

Smiling still Hinata shoved her arm a little harder into the machine up until her elbow, wincing at the pinch of the sharp edges inside against her skin. "I think I've got it."

And a little more wiggling later the booklet came out, entirely too wet with ink. With a sigh the girls looked at each other and Tamaki grinned, lifting up her hand to show Hinata. "How long do you think we will have to scrub to take all the ink off?"

Studying her black and blue fingers HInata sighed in defeat. "Oh, Kiba-kun."

"Baka-kun."

Smirking a little Hinata sat up. "My daughter... she calls Inuzuka-san Baka." suddenly wondering if she should have said such a thing she colored rapidly. "But please don't tell him I said that."

Tamaki studied her thoughtfully, surprised. "You have a daughter? You seem pretty young, when did you get married?"

Glancing at her hand she flinched. "Oh, I mean.. I'm sorry."

Hinata stared down at her fingers, the lack of ring there still strange to her, instinctively she covered up her hand. "Ah... no, it's... it's okay. I... he died, actually."

Surprise and then sympathy flashed over Tamaki's little face. She was a different kind of girl than most, her face although round had high pretty cheekbones and her chin tapered off into a gentle heart shape, framed by her brown hair. Everything about her seemed small, her lips, her nose, her ears, her small shoulders and her tiny waist. Petite, was the word, and Hinata smiled weakly at her petite expression of sadness. "It's fine." she waved her hand and stood up. "I'm glad I could help though."

"I'm sorry I was calling him baka." Tamaki sighed standing up with her. "I know he's your friend, but my goodness has he been giving me a hard time."

Smiling a little Hinata nodded. "I see that. It's okay, I won't tell."

"You've known them a long time, ne?" Tamaki asked as she turned to leave, leaning against her desk as she tried to get her shoes back on her feet.

Hinata blinked at her, surprised by the question. "Uchiha-san and Inuzuka-san?"

"Yes, you seem to be very comfortable with each other."

"Oh... ano, we are... I... I haven't known them all that long though. Maybe nine months?" She blinked and tried to think back, counting backwards.

"Oh. I... I totally thought you and Uchiha-san were a thing." Tamaki blinked. "Good thing I didn't... say anything.." watching her face turn a bright agonized red she smiled. "Oh, I see."

"No, we're friends, he's... Uncle Sasuke to my kids, really."

"You have more than one?"

"Just two."

"Wow." Tamaki laughed. "I can't even get a boyfriend and here you are." She waved at her. "Cute and already done with babies."

"And husbands..." Hinata muttered, a little annoyed suddenly. Tamaki winced. "I...I'm sorry, I forgot... argh." Sighing she sat in her chair and put her hands in her hair. "Gomen, Hyuuga-san. That was so insensitive." she sighed. "I really need this job, and I'm stressing out. It's not been smooth sailing."

Softening a little Hinata studied her, biting her lip. "It's okay."

"My grandma... she's not doing so hot." Tamaki continued, letting her shoulders drop. "I was going to school to be a vet but I need to work to help her out, and this job is the one I got offered first. She's not around here so it was a hard decision to make." sadly she held her face up on her palm, leaning into her desk tiredly. "I can't have this not work out, it was a big move."

Hinata let her shoulder lean against the door frame. "I'm not from around here either." she admitted slowly. "I get it."

"Oh yeah?" Tamaki sighed. "You look so comfortable here though I would have never even known."

"Ne," Hinata began an idea taking root in her brain. "We're going out, to the Takayama Spring festival this weekend." She began, and Takami studied her, waiting.

"Do you want to come? We usually pack a picnic and find a park somewhere to eat when we go to festivals, but there will be a lot of food vendors too, and it's supposed to be very pretty. My kids are excited about the fireworks in the evening."

Takami stared at her for a second, unmoving. "Won't...Inuzuka-san be annoyed I'm there?" she blinked. Hinata opened her mouth for a second to reply and then forced out a "No! No, I don't think so..." that was not very believable.

"And...Uchiha-san will be going with you?"

Hinata's eyes snapped to hers, intently watching her face. "Yes... he will."

"Hm."

Biting the inside of her cheek she sighed and sat up with a smile. "Are you sure? I don't... I wouldn't want to impose."

"No, it's not like that." Hinata shook her head although part of her was regretting opening her mouth. "We'd love to have you come."

"Thank you so much, Hyuuga-san. I'm so exicted!" Bright eyed she waved as Hinata moved to leave, her face changing to confused as she stepped out into the brightness of the setting spring sun.

 _What did I just do?_

* * *

Plopped on the floor in Hinata's family room Kiba was long enough that he took up a part of the path to the hall and bathroom and a large potion of the sitting area.

The kids were mercifully sleeping and so he kept his voice down even as he let his indignant tone drip off every syllable. "You _invited_ her?"

"Hai..." Hinata sighed, letting her shoulders droop even more as she spread honey on the buns she had just pulled out of the oven. The smell of the freshly baked bread overwhelmed the apartment and despite his dislike of the conversation Kiba sat up to take the plate handed to him with the bun. "I'm sorry." she mumbled, settling on the other side of the table from him.

Sasuke who didn't like sweets was sipping at a coffee in the corner, a book in his lap capturing all his attention.

"Is there an un-invite option?" He muttered, trying to think. "Maybe we can say we aren't going."

"She's not so bad... You have been making it very hard for her, Kiba-kun." Hinata raised her still stained arm up for him to see. "I saw the booklets you were trying to print. I helped her get it out of the printer."

"Oh!" Kiba blinked at her bemusedly. "Is that what that is?"

"She and I had to get elbow deep in the printer, it hurts, and all you have to do is print smaller booklets so they don't get jammed. She told me she told you this." Hinata frowned mildly at him and cocked her head. "You're not usually forgetful."

"She was still there when you left?" Kiba started, surprised. "Because of the jammed copier?"

"I don't know, maybe." Hinata looked over at Sasuke for help. "It's not so bad, right? She seems nice."

"If you're not Kiba." Sasuke responded without looking up.

"She gets so... _uppity_...when she's mad." Kiba commented, flopping onto his back on the floor from his sitting position, one arm over his face. Slowly Sasuke's eyes lifted up to meet Hinata's.

"Uppity." Sasuke repeated, almost choking on the word.

Hinata leaned over the table a bit to look at Kiba's face or the half that wasn't hidden by his arm.

"Yeah.. _.jittery_ , I guess is another word for it."

Remembering suddenly the way Tamaki-san stormed into the lounge and practically pinned Kiba to the chair Hinata's face suddenly colored.

"Jittery?" she mumbled. Glancing at each other again Sasuke and Hinata started, at once remembering the brightness of Kiba's cheeks at her approach.

"Are you..." Hinata seemed stunned. "Are you bugging her... on purpose?"

A long pregnant pause followed where Kiba took a breath. "On purpose? No! Why would you say that?" and he was suddenly sitting up with a look of frustration that Sasuke didn't believe even for a second, his black eyes surprised.

"Well... I just... I don't know... it just seemed sort of..." Hinata stuttered, watching his cheeks brighten at her stumbling. Grabbing his bun off the table he stood. "Well, that's it for me, I'm going home."

"Ah! Kiba-kun, I was just wondering- I'm sorry."

"No, no, it's fine. Now I know you think I would just bug her for kicks. That's the kind of guy I am to you, clearly." Kiba half sang on the way out the door as he put his shoes on. Hinata teetered after him, hands fiddling in front of her. "No, no! I didn't mean that at all.. I meant... uh..."

Grabbing her suddenly by the cheeks Kiba kissed her forehead, stunning any other words attempting to make it out of her mouth into silence.

"Hina-chan. I'm joking!" he laughed at her surprised expression.

"O..Oh!"

"See ya guys tomorrow!" He called stepping out into the hall. "Ja ne!"

"Bye..." Hinata murmured, closing the door quietly behind him.

Slowly she meandered back into the family room where Sasuke was reading again, looking puzzled and rubbing the spot on her forehead that Kiba had kissed.

"He likes her." Sasuke stated, eyes still down on the book. Hinata jumped, surprised he was even aware she was in the room. "Ah! D-do you think so? I don't... I mean... I don't know, I thought maybe for a second but..."

"He doesn't know yet." he murmured, turning a page on his book slowly.

"They fight so much." Hinata frowned. "I don't know."

"You and Naruto never fought?"

Startled by the question Hinata stared at him, pressing her fist to her heart over the place that hurt at the mention of the blonde's name.

"...we fought... sometimes..." she mumbled, moving to sit down at her place at the table where her tea still steamed.

Surprised by her answer as she was by his question Sasuke looked up. "You did?"

She laughed instantly at his surprise. "Not much... not... not like Kiba-kun and Tamaki-san."

Curiosity flickered on Sasuke's face for a second but he looked away, back down at his book without another word and Hinata looked down at her tea, holding the warm cup between her suddenly cold fingers.

"What did you fight about?" Breaking the stillness of the moment Sasuke flipped another page and Hinata pondered if he was even listening or if he was even reading.

"Ano..." she frowned, trying to remember. "...one time we fought because he got drunk at a party with Shikamaru and Choji and the others and he punched Neji-nii-san in the face." she whispered.

Sasuke started, blinking at her. "You fought?"

"Yes." She looked back at him after the memory became clear in her mind. "I was upset. Neji needed stiches on his cheek."

Confusion clouded his face for a moment. "Because he punched Neji in the face? You were upset?"

Wrinkling her nose at him Hinata frowned. "Neji is my cousin, he... is hard to tolerate sometimes but he's very kind."

Looking unimpressed Sasuke turned back to his book. "I would have punched him too... in fact I think I did. I don't think that's the first time Naruto hit him either."

Startled Hinata stared at him. "What?"

"He asked for it." Sasuke shrugged and finally looked at her when her intense surprise didn't seem to abate. "We were...fifteen maybe? My... my brother was working late and I was bored so Naruto and I ended up at the flats, near Kakashi's place where the properties are broken up by the dikes." he blinked. "I guess, now that I think about it..." he started as the memory began to solidify in his mind. "We... Naruto was trying to get a glimpse of you."

Hinata could not have looked more confused. "Demo-"

"The Hyuuga House, the big one, it's back fields are up against the dike that separates the two properties." He seemed to be looking out into a picture she couldn't see, his mind envisioning the dark pines and bushes against the moonlit sky, the water at the bottom of the dike glistening in the brightness. It was such a clear night they didn't even need a flash light.

"I think he just wanted to figure out which room was yours." Sasuke mumbled, trying to remember Naruto's face, his lips forming words as they crossed the dike by jumping over the low water in one big leap.

"But Neji found us, on your property..."

Covering her face with one hand and wincing Hinata didn't have to be told the rest. "Oh, Neji-nii..."

"It wasn't just two against one though, I didn't plan on getting involved, Naruto was always able to do his own fighting." Sasuke sounded different, his voice almost amused and Hinata watched him from between her fingers, a smile playing on her lips as one played on his.

"But then that guy..."

"Lee?"

"Huge eyebrows."

"Yes, Lee."

"He showed up..." Smirking Sasuke hung his head, as if trying to listen to the sound of the tussle that had ensued as Neji demanded they leave and irritated with his tone Naruto picked a fight.

"I definitely punched Neji." He nodded, remembering clearly.

A laugh she had not expected escaped her and Hinata shook her head. "Boys."

"Yeah..." Sasuke nodded, looking at Haku's bedroom door across from him. "I wonder... what Haku will be like?"

Surprised Hinata followed his gaze. "He feels things big, like his dad." She whispered.

"Hn." Sasuke nodded again, moving to stand. "I should go."

"Okay."

"Ne...Sasuke?"

Glancing back over his shoulder at her he paused, waiting. Hinata fumbled for a moment, biting her cheek. "Your brother..."

Startled by the words coming out of her mouth he turned, eyes defensive. "...what was he doing that he was working late?"

For a moment he didn't move, just paid attention to the slithering feeling in his gut, the way it became instantly cold at the sound of the words leaving her lips.

"...he..." he paused, surprised that his voice sounded so strained. Hinata studied him, puzzled by his seriousness

"He worked at a clinic...mental health." he muttered. "He was a doctor."

Having never really heard this before Hinata blinked at him. "Oh...I...I didn't know that. Naruto, he never wanted to tell me..."

"I have to go." Sasuke muttered, turning to head down the hall abruptly before she could keep asking questions.

"Okay... " moving to stand to follow him she started, hearing the door close behind him with a soft. "Good bye." before she could even get up.

"A doctor." she mumbled, thinking, puzzled.

* * *

 _ **leave me some love ne?**_

 _ **-inky**_


	18. Chapter 18

_**A.N**_

 _ **The pressure to write is lessening, bit by bit. I have noticed that the quality has also began to deplete. I think I am a little desperate to get the bones of the story done so that when I have more time and less fear of them disappearing on me I can flesh out, edit, rework things. There's stuff in there that will need to come out or be rewritten. Your reviews have been amazing at helping me pinpoints weaknesses in my own abilities. Many which I would not have been able to see without all your lovely comments. I appreciate them very much.**_

 _ **Also, Flamer! Where'd you go!? I love you!**_

 _ **Much love,**_

 _ **Inky**_

* * *

 _The hands were around his neck._

 _Breathing hard, trying to get the oxygen through his windpipe was like trying to get a stone through his vein._

 _Pressure, and pressure and more pain, just the feel of the hands on his neck, and the shadows of their movements on the wall of the clinic room. The lamp had fallen in the fray, and he studied the shifting light and dark as fireworks began to go off in his vision._

 _There was a weight pinning him to the floor, besides that necklace of fingers wrapped around his throat. He watched the shadow of it, like an animal upon it's prey, gorging._

 _Sounds were high pitched, whistling through the world, and darkness clawed at his sight in sharp angry tears._

Dying. This is dying.

 _Suddenly the weight was removed. Air was poison though, it ripped through his bruised and collapsed throat with agony and as he writhed on the ground to bring his life back he strained to open his eyes, to see the grunts and screams and fear that were happening around him._

 _When he finally could see the silence hung heavy, the grunts and struggle gone. Only one set of panting lungs remained, and there like a vulture it hunched, his wild black hair a mess, his face so pale it glowed by the artificial light of the scattered lamp. He stared at the body on the floor, the white coat he wore spreading with red._

 _"...eyes... I need his eyes.." And the vulture launched it'self at his brother's face._

 _His scream never came, it was stillborn in his collapsed throat, sliding back down and festering inside his body, purifying him._

 _No! Itachi...Itachi..._

He woke with the bile and vomit in his throat, it happened too fast for him to make it to the bathroom. Retching over the edge of the bed he held on for dear life, unable to see in the darkness of his room.

Gasping and spent he stumbled to the bathroom, turning the shower on without looking in the mirror. He knew what he would see there, the the hollow expression that would greet him.

Breathing hard he stood under the bite of the hot water, fingers digging into his hair as he tried to steady his breathing.

Images he had long ago tried to bury lingered in his mind. The linoleum of the clinic floor slick with blood, his hands on his brother's face, screaming, trying to stop the bleeding, trying to hear his breathing.

But there was nothing to hear, nothing to feel beneath the clean cut blue of his dress shirt, just silence, and the manic giggle of the one who did it behind him.

Breath coming in ragged painful pulls he stumbled out of the shower, curling into himself on the floor with his towel, eyes shut trying not to see.

His fingers stumbled over the ground as he pulled the towel tight against himself, fluttering over the slick shape of his cell phone and he startled, looking at it in the dimness of his half lit bathroom, only the light from the hall filtering in through the cracks of the ajar door.

He must have dropped it getting in last night, and in his haste to go to bed had not noticed it missing.

Shaking he stared at it's face, making it glow bright in the shadows, lighting up his dark eyes as he slid through the contacts.

He hesitated only for a moment, his eyes lingering on the time. Nearly two in the morning, it was the worst hour to wake anyone, and yet his heart wouldn't slow.

 _I just need to hear..._

It took him three tries to get the phone to dial. His fingers were shaking.

The ring didn't last long. Hardly half a full echo before her voice whispered through the device, a soft panic that made his insides hurt and yet alleviated the voices running through trauma in his head.

 _"Sasuke? Sasuke, are you okay?"_

"...Hi...I'm...sorry to call so late..."

 _"...is everything okay? You sound... you don't sound okay."_

His voice was cracked, wrecked by the vomiting although it hardly compared to what had happened to him in the dream...the memory.

"...I'm sorry... I just...I just needed to hear you."

Her quietness lingered for a moment but in the very stillness of twilight the sound of her slow steady breaths was reassuring.

 _"What happened? A...are you..."_

"I can't... I can't talk about it."

A soft intake of breath and then softly. _"Okay."_

He closed his eyes, wishing he could see her, smell her instead of the memory of the iron tang of blood.

 _"...I'll stay with you.."_ she whispered after a moment of silence, and he could hear her stretch in her voice and the relaxing of her muscles into the mattress as she yawned. _"I'll stay with you on the phone until you want me to hang up."_

The image of her lingered in his mind, of her body warm and soft between her covers, tangled locks of her black hair pooling on her pillows, and the baggy shirt she wore to bed the night of the rain.

"...thank you..."

 _"...do you want me to cancel the trip tomorrow?"_

He shook his head, steadying his rapid breathing to a normal tired miserable pace. "No, I'll be okay..."

 _"...okay..."_

They sat that way, listening to each other breathe for minutes at a time, occasionally her little yawns would come through the phone, distracting him from darker thoughts as he pictured her movements. t|The way her legs would bunch up against he chest and her arms hugging her pillows.

 _"...whatever happened..."_ she began suddenly, surprising him. _"...I'm glad you called me."_

He leaned his head back against the wall, swallowing hard with his eyes closed, listening to her existing a train ride away. Wishing he could get on it to see her.

Eventually he made his way to the couch in the living room, laying there with thoughts of her until he fell asleep, waking at the touch of the sun with their call still on, her soft sleepy breath still passing through the phone having been the thing that lulled him to rest.

* * *

In the brightness of the spring day the cherry blossoms dominated. They were the star of the show, despite the elaborate costumes and parading floats with beautifully detailed marionettes that wove through the crowds.

Hinata smiled , looking straight up into one with the kids, her head thrown back and hair tumbling down her shoulders and spine in long silky locks that glimmered in the light.

"So pretty." she whispered, and Sora giggled beside her. "Nice flow, Oka-san. It be nice flow."

"Flower." Haku corrected softly, reaching up with one hand to catch a blossom that loosened at the touch of the breeze.

The hubbub of the crowd was soothing, people calling out to each other and laughing, the smell of delicious food cooking in stalls nearby lingering in the air with the sounds.

Sasuke found her there spinning in circles with the kids under the rain of pink from the giant tree above her, hair fanning out with her movement, her white dress twirling around her body when she stopped at the sight of him.

On either side of her the kids continued spinning like tops until they dropped to the petal covered ground in fits of giggles.

Her expression wasn't one he recognized, it was neither sad, nor worried, it wasn't a smile or nerves. He stared at her and felt shame at his panic as she approached, hands clasped in front of her gently, stopping in front of him with that face, searching his eyes intently.

Words formed on her lips and she reached up to push a lock of her hair behind her ear, and then started turning away without saying what had lingered on her tongue at the sound of Kiba's call from behind him.

"Oi! Look what I found."

"Who, look _who_ you found." Tamaki's soft retort followed close behind him as they approached. Hinata smiled brightly at them. "We're all here."

Sasuke studied her, aware that he was likely staring, his heart doing a frantic impression of a drum in his chest.

Tamaki's hand on his arm suddenly made him jump, frowning at her. "Hi, Uchiha-san." She smiled, her cheeks just the barest pink. "It's so nice to see you all outside of work, I'm so thankful Hyuuga-san invited me along."

Disoriented by the random conversation Sasuke nodded, unsure what else to say until Sora came barreling into the fray, crashing into his legs with force, her little arms reaching up.

"Kiki, up, please, up!"

Glad for the distraction Sasuke bent down and hauled her into his arms, her legs wrapped as far around his chest as she could get them, her smile big as she tapped his face with her pudgy fingers.

"So much pink." she stretched her arms to the sky and he nodded, ignoring Tamaki beside him who was watching, her small delicate mouth open in surprise.

"Uncle Kiba." Haku was holding Inuzuka's hand and pulling gently. "Please, can we go see the marionettes, Oka-san said you'd take me, please."

"Yeah yeah!" Sora bounced against Sasuke's chest, her little legs pumping. "Maro-nets!"

"We better go." Hinata smiled. "They've been waiting for a bit."

The boys headed out into the crowd, hoisting the kids onto their shoulders effortlessly while Hinata slid her bag onto her arm and brought up the rear with a stunned Tamaki.

"Your kids..." she whispered, and her eyes followed them into the crowd. "Your kids are..."

"Kiba-kun and Sasuke-kun are amazing." Hinata nodded, smiling at her awe. "I don't know what I would do without them. I think my kids sometimes love them more than me."

"Baka!" Sora was shouting, waving frantically. Pressing her hand to her mouth she blew him kisses from several steps away and Kiba laughed, pretending to stretch up into the sky to catch them frantically.

"Huh." Tamaki let out a breath, her eyes watching with curiosity and a smidge of disbelief.

"Baka-kun." Hinata nodded, wrinkling her nose with her smile. "Baka-kun." Tamaki nodded, her eyes trained on the kiss catcher dancing in the blossoms that drifted through the air.

They ended up at the beach near the festival, with the sun going down so much later in the spring than in the summer it would be a long wait before the fireworks began to shine. The kids meandered through the low tide, bouncing from puddle of sea water to puddle, pushing rocks over to see if there were any crabs to catch beneath.

They took to Tamaki like birds of a feather, grabbing onto her hand within minutes and dragging her around to show her the different options of rock to push over.

Kiba watched this ruefully, a little miffed to be sharing their attention but also curious as to her reaction. Like a cat she wandered through the sand avoiding the water, but at the same time so fascinated with the children's attention to her that she steeled herself and skipped over the larger options, bouncing from rock to rock when the water was too deep to jump over

"You were right." Hinata smiled from her place on a weather beaten log at the back of the beach near the seawall. The dusk lit the silhouettes of the kids, Kiba and Tamaki so that when he splashed her the water sparkled in the orange and red light before hitting her, making a strangled little sound escape her throat in indignation.

"He really does like her."

Sasuke sat with his hands in his pockets beside her, studying the four shadows playing in the throes of the sun's dying fire. Haku and Sora thought splashing was a beautiful idea and following their Uncle's example began a water fight of epic proportions in which the only real loser was Tamaki.

Hinata looked happy, unconcerned with the relationship and he fidgeted internally at that. Would she be so calm if he were in a relationship? Part of him dreaded the possibility, that she would sit and smile and watch if it was him and Tamaki out there flirting.

Another part of him hoped she would be okay, that she would know to wait for someone else. Anyone but him.

Sighing he thought back to the expression on her face at the cherry tree and felt in his gut that she would not be so content to watch if it were him out there.

Feeling a paper on his finger tips inside his pocket he blinked and pulled it out, staring at Sakura's number in surprise for a second.

"Kiba no baka!" Tamaki was shouting, chasing him through the sand with the kids hot on her heels, chasing her with the empty shell of a crab in Haku's hands. Kiba was laughing, harder than he had in a while and Hinata grinned, turning to look at Sasuke and freezing at the little paper he was staring so seriously at in his hand.

Feeling her eyes on him he looked up, face impassive.

It wasn't hurt, so much as confusion that fluttered on her face for a moment before she looked away.

"I need to talk to Haruno-san." He said it slowly, partly to get that puzzled expression to go from her face, partly to see if she would perhaps be unfazed by his statement. The smallest part wondered if she would tell him not to talk to her... if she would lay a claim...

"Oh?" Hinata didn't say much more, just rearranged her dress over her long smooth legs, digging her bare toes into the mushy sand at her feet.

"Hn." He shoved the paper into his pocket again.

"Oka-san!" Haku was giggling in his own solemn sort of way, waving his arm over his head at her. "We found more crabs- baby crabbies!" and his voice became tiny and adorable as his hands came up to cup his invisible crab babies to show her the size.

Smiling again Hinata sighed and stood. "Let me see."

Sasuke watched her go, studying the way she raised her skirt to keep it from the puddles of water that meandered through the sands and stones, her small delicately boned ankles dirty with the small freckles of sand on her pale skin.

His fingers tightened on the paper in his pocket as he watched her go to the rocks where everyone else was peeking, Kiba had a bucket and as he pushed a rock over the kids and the girls jumped and scurried away laughing as dozens of tiny spider-like crabs scampered to get back under cover.

Was it possible that Kiba was right?

He studied her jumping onto one of the logs by the tide pools to avoid getting crawled on by the crabs, her laughter ringing through the quiet of the ocean waves far out.

If she was...thinking about him he had to do something. Kiba would say he had to tell her, try to be with her but the terror still lingered in his mind, terror of how much the gin called his name on nights he was alone and stressed, terror of the nightmares that sprang up at any possible memory of his brother.

Terror that he would take the precious things that Naruto had left behind and wreck them like he had wrecked his relationship with his friend.

Slowly he pulled the paper from his pocket, biting his lip as he dialed, looking up in time to see Hinata watching, the sound of the ringing in his ear background as she studied his face, her eyes flickering to the paper in his hand.

"Haruno-san..." he blinked, unsure of what else to say.

 _"Hi...Sasuke-kun."_

For a moment they were both quiet and then gently, as though guiding him her voice caressed through the phone.

 _"Can I meet you somewhere?"_

"...I'm at Fujioka Beach..."

 _"I'm right near there. I was at the festival."_ She sounded breathless. Sasuke didn't reply, his eyes trained on Hinata as she turned away and crouched down to look at something else the kids were showing her.

 _"I'll be there in about five minutes, okay?"_

"Okay."

Hanging up he stood, feeling both sick and determined. Slowly he wandered over to where Hinata was crouched. The kids had moved away and her dress was wet and dirty with sand and sea water but she seemed uncaring, her pale eyes focused on the little rocks in the tide pool, her hair blocking out the rays of sun on her face, casting her features in shadow.

"...I'm going to be heading out in a bit." He murmured.

"Okay." Her voice was light, and he pondered that she didn't ask why. Pushing the rocks away she picked out a tiny white shell, placing it on her hand for a moment to study before putting it in the bucket beside her and moving back to dig through the sand.

"You're all right with the kids if Kiba and Tamaki-san help you get home right?"

Hinata didn't reply right away, swallowing before nodding. "Of course. I didn't bring that much with me today. Ouch!" she gasped, pulling her hand back from the sand where a broken bottle suddenly protruded.

Breathless she wiped at the wound on her sleeve, her finger dripping blood faster than she could staunch it.

"I didn't bring my first aid kit." She muttered, and felt suddenly Sasuke crouching down in front of her, taking her hand and making her draw in a breath that seemed to lack oxygen when he placed her finger in his mouth gently.

Her body refused to comply to her demands to be still and she shivered, eyes wide in her face as he sucked and turned to spit. "You could get an infection, you need to get that cleaned as soon as you get home." He murmured, pulling a tissue out of his pocket to press to her finger firmly.

"H-h-hai..."

His eyes flickered up at her startled crimson face and he paused, the skin of her palm in his felt hot, and with the taste of her blood in his mouth he let go, standing abruptly.

"Hey..." Kiba suddenly called, making them both turn as Hinata stood, more slowly and carefully than he had.

"Is that... Haruno Sakura?" he was looking at the sea wall where a figure in a beautiful jade green dress stood, the fabric ruffling around her body in the sea breeze, her hand raised to block the sun as she peered down at them.

"I have to go." Sasuke breathed, and started back towards the sea wall, ruffling Haku's hair and planting a quick peck on Sora's head before grabbing his things and heading up the stairs to where Sakura waited.

Kiba walked over to Hinata slowly, a frown stamped clearly on his face as he watched his friend go. "What the hell was that?"

Hinata turned away back towards the setting sun, blinking rapidly as tears started to well in her eyes.

 _Don't cry, Hinata, don't be stupid, don't be so stupid, stop it._

"Hina-chan?" Kiba turned to face her and started, his hand coming to rest on her back gently at the sight of her tears. "Hina? Oh... Hina-chan..."

"I... I cut my finger." Hinata tried to say calmly and then hiccuped and buried her face in her hands. "It hurts a lot more than I thought." She whimpered. Tamaki looked at Kiba worriedly and he shook his head, rubbing slow gentle circles on her back. "...I'm... I'm sure it does, Hina-chan..." he murmured, glancing back to see that Sakura and Sasuke had vanished.

* * *

He would have had to be blind and deaf to not see Kiba's irritation when he showed up on Monday. The lounge as per usual was empty so early in the morning, and although he had passed Tamaki in the entrance at her office she had just waved briefly, and continued working instead of coming over to say hello as she had before.

That didn't bode well, and already feeling tension sliding across his back he walked into the lounge expecting the force of Kiba's dislike. He was not disappointed.

Usually the first to throw out a greeting he didn't look up, his head down at the work on his desk, shoulders tight.

Sasuke watched him as he slowly placed his bag on the desk and began to take his items out, wondering how long he would be able to hold back whatever he wanted to say. It wasn't long.

"So you're with Haruno now?"

Having expected this Sasuke sat down across from him slowly, resting his elbows on his desk before entwining his fingers and looking at Kiba over them.

"Come again?"

"You and Sakura." Kiba didn't bother to make eye contact, flipping open another book and scribbling something down into the margin. "I guess she was persistent enough?"

"I'm not with Haruno." Sasuke couldn't have enunciated that more clearly. "I needed to talk to her. I told her again that I was not interested." He kept his eyes fixed on Kiba, willing him to look up.

"You know that's not what it looked like." Kiba's voice had taken on a growl that was deep in his throat and made Sasuke's blood pump a little faster with dislike.

"I don't really care what it looks like."

"You are a fucking bastard." Finally looking up Sasuke actually paused as he received the full force of his anger, his brown eyes raw. In that moment Naruto glared at him too, overlapping on his friend and making him wince a little. "She cried."

Tempering his breathing to remain calm Sasuke turned away, opening his lap top.

"Who?"

"I'm not playing this bull shit game. You know who."

Impassive he booted up his computer and typed in his password.

"Sasuke." Kiba's voice was hard. "What the fuck are you doing?"

"I told you I would not be with her. I told you I can't."

Kiba had threatened in a half playful way so many times that he would punch him that it never occurred to him he would actually do it. They were not that kind of friends. Naruto and he had had so many fist fights they spoke more with their tussles than with their voices, but this had never occurred between him and Kiba.

Until right then.

He probably could have shoved him off but the surprise was so great he let it happen. Kiba leaned over the desk, grabbed his shirt in a vice grip and pulled back. It knocked him clear off his chair and books, paper, laptops all crashed or slid across the work surface in a clatter.

Jaw tight Sasuke moved to stand as Kiba walked around the table, wiping the blood from his mouth with the back of his hand.

"You delusional prick." Kiba hissed, dragging him roughly up against the whiteboard on the wall. "She's in love with you. YOU did that. I watched you do it, I watched you become everything to her and now that she's just starting to realize that she might need it you're just going to what? Start dating a student for shits and giggles?" He shoved him when Sasuke tried to push back, making felts clatter off the ledge above the board and to the ground.

His jaw was throbbing. The punch had been effective and he was glad. He had not had his ass kicked in a long time, it made things rattle around that had long been dormant in his head. Breathing hard through his nose he glared at Kiba.

"I messed up, I'm trying to fix it."

"You messed up?"

"I need her to hate me a little... just enough... that she will look elsewhere."

Kiba stared, his hands loosening on his friend's shirt slowly. "You're insane."

"Kiba I can't."

"It would have been better." Kiba shook his head giving him a last rough shove as he stepped away. "If you had continued to be a dick to her like you were from the start."

Sasuke watched him walk back to his desk, the adrenaline was making him shake as badly as Kiba was. "I know, Kiba."

The door opened suddenly and Tsunade peered in, her face confused. "Is everything okay in here? What is going on?"

"Tripped." Sasuke muttered, pressing a hand to his cheek where a bruise was already forming. "I hurt myself."

Kiba looked at him from across the work table, his jaw tight.

Frowning Tsunade studied the two men, brow furrowed. "Are you all right, Uchiha-san?"

"Perfect." He muttered. "I just need some ice." Carefully he slid past her out the door to the school kitchens, wiping at the blood on his chin again with his sleeve, he glanced up at the sound of the front door opening just in time to see her walk in, frozen in place at the sight of him.

"...Sasuke...what happened to your-" she began, walking forward.

"Fell." He muttered, and continued walking, making her start in surprise, her eyes lingering on him as he disappeared down the hall. Tamaki peered at her from her office, eyes wide.

"What?" Hinata shook her head in confusion, unsure if she should follow for only a second before remembering the figure in green at the sea wall on the weekend.

Clenching her jaw tightly she stepped back, and turned to walk towards the teacher's lounge, breath unsteady in her lungs.

* * *

 _ **Argh, that was awful to write.**_

 _ **leave me some love, ne?**_

 _ **Inky**_


	19. Chapter 19

_**A.N**_

 _ **So. I am SO tired. I wrote a total of 20 000 words for this one chapter and shifted through it all to pick what was true to the story because although I had the plot outline things were hiding from me that needed to be in there.**_

 _ **Remember how I said that this was going to be a difficult story for me to write for personal reasons? This was my chapter. My I-don't-know-if-I-can-do-this chapter.**_

 _ **I'm glad it's over.**_

 _ **I'm not sure if I'm happy with it or not. I'm happy it's done, I'm editing it now, I hope it makes sense.**_

 _ **Music listened to while writing this:**_

 _ **Earnestly Yours by Keaton Henson again near the end**_

 _ **and large portions of the OST for The Garden of Words**_

 _ **much love,**_

 _ **Inky**_

* * *

She tried to be normal, at first she couldn't figure what it was she was doing wrong but eventually she realized she was not speaking to him and the confusion entered her brain, eating her alive for days.

Soft words were exchanged at work, whispers when before she would have sang.

 _"Are you still able to pick the kids up at daycare on Tuesday?"_

His puzzlement was baffling to her too, his dark eyes searching hers for a moment before turning away.

 _"Of course."_

And so it went. The silences punctuated by the necessary exchange of information, his bruised cheek turning slowly green and yellow and then fading altogether, what he called a fall and she knew to be Kiba disappearing without a trace on his face, and the words still didn't come.

His name stuck in her throat, besides at school where he was Uchiha-san she avoided trying to make the sound come out of her mouth. She would practice at home, in front of the mirror in the bathroom, confusion and panic wriggling in her chest like a frightened bug.

 _Sasuke. Sasuke. Sasuke._

But it never escaped her, trapped.

She watched him kiss Sora goodnight, tuck Haku into bed, ruffle his hair, and move past her in the hall without looking to meet her eyes every night she stayed late at school.

 _"Good night."_ Without turning around, without looking at her face, the door closing with a soft click and leaving her cold.

 _"Sas..."_ And the word died, trapped inside, fluttering until it was still.

Laying in bed listening to the rain at night, it's drip drip cruising past her windows making her tremble she stared at her phone glowing in her hand in the darkness of her room, his name highlighted and pale.

Finger hovering over the contact she breathed in, breathed out.

 _If you can say his name out loud... you can call him._

 _"S...Sas...Sasu..."_

And she frowned, because the word tangled and tripped in her vocal chords, laying down in defeat across her throat.

Watching him at school with confusion on her face as he cleaned up the classroom with the light of the sun filtering through the windows, setting the dust into a golden haze slanted over the air, lighting up his hair in shades of blue so deep she wondered if that color had it's own name.

 _What is wrong with me?_

Sitting in the shower, burying her face into her arms, trying not to remember him wrapped around her in the water, breath making his chest move in rhythm against her own.

 _I miss Naruto._ Like a mantra she thought it over and over, pushing the image away. _I miss Naruto._

And the days just kept on going.

She stared at the calendar on the wall in the teachers lounge, her face pale and impassive. Sleep had been evading her for several weeks. Between reading the letters she had in her apartment and waking in the middle of the night breathless with dreams of ghost lips on her skin she had not rested through a night in several days. But June came anyway, uncaring of her preparedness for it or not.

Her eyes lingered on the 7th, her mouth feeling dry.

It was a weekend, she would be home alone with the kids.

Outside in the courtyard the cherry blossoms had died, their soft pink layering the ground in a carpet first soft and then putrid as they decayed, an overly sweet smell mixing with the warm air of the coming summer, filtering through the windows the other teachers opened to ease the heat in their work space.

Now it was bare but for it's strong steady leafs, signalling the time when her husband died.

"Hina?" Kiba stood beside her, his hand lingered on her back and when she felt his touch she felt the welling of tears in her eyes.

"Hina-chan?"

Licking her dry lips Hinata glanced at him and then back at the calendar. "It's June." Her voice wavered and sensing something he waited, eyes flickering to the handful of teachers working at the other end of the room, uninterested in the antics of their younger counterparts.

"Almost summer break." He agreed finally when she did not continue. Softly Hinata took a deep breath.

"Naruto died on the 7th."

Realization slowly slid over Kiba's face, his brown eyes softening. "Oh, Hina..." Gently he took her wrist, moving her towards the hall.

School was mercifully over and most of the students who were still lingering were in their respective club rooms working away, their laughter filtering through the halls, their animated calls seeming to echo in her head.

Out in the semi privacy of the empty space between the classes Kiba turned to her, searching her face with worry. "Hina... are you going to need to take some time off? I don't think I knew it was this soon..."

"No, I can't... I can't really afford it." she admitted softly, shaking her head. "It's a Saturday, so... so it's okay but." her wince made him nod. "The kids."

"...Tamaki and I can take them." He continued, glancing over his shoulder towards the office where Tamaki was hiding. "She has been bugging me to take her to get a kitten, and she wanted to surprise Sora with one- if you were okay with it, but I've been putting it off. I don't really get why she can't go on her own." He laughed a little and Hinata studied him, wondering if he really didn't know why or if he was playing dumb.

"I don't know." Hinata murmured softly, unsure of why the idea of the kids out shopping with a pair of would-be parents was making her sick. Before she could figure it out she flinched at the sight of Sasuke stepping down the stairs from the second floor, his eyes trained on a book. The blackness of his gaze flickered up to meet hers for only a split second longer than his usual and closing the book he paused beside Kiba.

"What is the matter?"

Withdrawing only a small bit Hinata let her eyes drop. He had not asked her anything along the lines of a personal question in weeks, and realizing that there were tears on her face she flinched again, rubbing them away sharply. "N..nothing."

"It..." Kiba frowned at her mildly, and glanced over at Sasuke. "It's June- and... Naruto-"

"It's fine, Kiba-kun." Hinata interrupted. "I'm fine, I just... it snuck up on me, is all."

"When?" Sasuke's voice had a familiar tone that had been missing for days and Kiba studied him briefly before turning to look at Hinata too.

"...the seventh." her voice was small, her shoulders lowering a little with her words. "Saturday."

"Tamaki and I were going to take the kids to get a kitten..." Kiba began, "But Hinata doesn't think-"

"I can take them." He moved to get past them and Hinata watched his feet, stepping out of the way of the teacher's lounge door before he could advance into her personal space. "I promised Haku a trip to the harbor anyway."

"Demo..." Hinata began slowly, unsure of why she was fighting this when it was what she so desperately needed. She wouldn't survive the whole day with the kids watching her, studying her, realizing what she was on that day. Just the ghost of a wife, tired and battered and alone.

"I'll get them a little after ten." He didn't seem to hear her attempt at an argument, and he stepped inside the lounge. "We'll be home before supper."

The door closed behind him, and Kiba grunted his displeasure. "Whatever the heck crawled up his ass is taking an awful long time to get out." Irritation always seemed to bring out Kiba's vulgarity, even if it did make him blush sometimes when it happened in a girl's presence.

Hinata sighed. "I have to go home."

"Yeah... hey... do you want me to take you home? I don't have anywhere to be."

"No." Hinata shook her head, knowing Tamaki had hoped to have him show her around her neighborhood. "Ask Tamaki-san... she... she was wondering about something..."

Kiba blinked at her. "Oh... but, Hinata..."

"I'm fine, Kiba-kun. Just tired." And quickly before he could continue to argue she headed towards the light at the front of the school where the sun was dying in the distance, setting the world on fire even as hers seemed to dim.

* * *

"I think you have done an excellent job since you have arrived here, but I always do want to know how my new additions are doing. Has the first full school year been difficult for you? You certainly didn't have it easy starting on the second term instead of the first with the rest of the staff and students."

Tsunade's heeled foot was moving gently to a beat that Hinata couldn't hear. She watched it as she thought of her answer, glancing at the calendar on the wall of her boss's office again and wincing at the blazing seven on the Saturday, her eyes lingering on the sixth, where she and Tsunade occupied the box, sitting in the present.

"It was an adjustment." Hinata admitted slowly, raising her eyes back to her principal. "But I think that it has gone well. I haven't had a summer here yet so I'm hoping there will be a lot of new things for me to do with my kids."

"Oh I'm sure that Inuzuka-san and Uchiha-san will have plenty of ideas." Tsunade nodded. "I'm glad you've made friends, especially with Uchiha-san. I was having such a hard time with him since he arrived. You've been a godsend. His application was perfect all of his credentials and school grades were top of his class but there's no way to figure out what kind of person you're going to get unless you actually see them in action." She sighed. "You've been most helpful."

"...I...I'm glad you feel that way, Tsunade-san."

But Hinata's brow was furrowed. The memory of the green clad girl on the sea wall flickered in her mind and she wondered that she had been helpful at all.

"Are there any concerns that you would like to address with me? Anything about the staff or the students? I know Valentine's Day was a shock for you, but hopefully next year you're prepared for the over abundance of admirers."

"Ah..." Hinata shook her head. "No... I think I have understood the way the school works so far. You've been very welcoming, Tsunade-san. I am very appreciative."

The blonde studied her a moment longer, tapping a pen on her desk to the same beat that her foot was moving at.

"Is there something on your mind though, Hyuuga-san? I have noticed... the last couple of months that you have seemed a little more quiet than usual."

Memories of the Hyuuga sitting between Kiba and Sasuke giggling about something they said flashed through Tsunade's mind, a memory that was not very recent, the laughter had been missing in their end of the teacher's lounge. Their work had been impeccable and so Tsunade had not really had any reason to complain, but something had changed, even between Inuzuka and the Uchiha. She couldn't put her finger on it.

"It's not Tamaki-san is it?"

Frowning Hinata shook her head. "No, Tsunade-san. Tamaki-san has been very helpful and I like her very much."

"She's not stealing Inuzuka from you?"

"No ma'am!" Hinata sighed and barely controlled herself from burying her face in her hands.

"Hm..." She stared some more and then sighed. "Well... if it's nothing then.." she murmured, sounding decidedly unsure.

"My husband." Hinata blurt out suddenly, hoping that the information would make her stop watching, questioning, understanding. "My husband died one year ago tomorrow."

The blonde blinked, having not expected that. Her eyes lowered to her desk slowly as her shock faded and she sighed. "Oh, Hyuuga-san... I'm so sorry."

"It's okay. I... I am just having a harder time of it than I had imagined I would." She wrestled with her stutter and won for the most part, moving to stand.

"If that is all, Tsunade-san... I would very much like to go home."

"Of course... and...my most sincere condolences, Hyuuga-san... " she sighed, resting her chin on one hand, her blue eyes lingering on the quiet girl.

"A...arigato." Hinata mumbled, giving her a short polite bow before moving out the door. As soon as she closed it behind her she made a beeline for her things waiting for her on the work desk beside Sasuke, his eyes had not lifted at her exiting Tsunade's office and they didn't lift as she quickly threw her sweater over her arm and her bag on her shoulder. Not until she was heading towards the door did he call out, still scribbling away on something in front of him.

"I'll be there tomorrow at ten."

Hinata paused at the door, her hand on the handle. "Hai...arigato."

And she disappeared, missing the moment when he finally did look up staring at where she had vanished like trying to remember a dream he had forgotten upon waking.

* * *

He had not thought through the consequences of calling Haruno Sakura, even just the once. She had saved his number and the texts began slowly after their meeting in April, despite the tone with which they had ended the conversation.

 _ **Sasuke-kun, I think you may be overthinking everything.**_

Frowning he stared at the message on the train to Hinata's apartment, his brow more furrowed than usual before he deleted it, like he had all the others before that.

Why would the girl simply not listen?

Stepping out into the train station he looked around, catching sight of a shop just on the other side of the train doors, candy glistening in packages by the till beckoned. Quietly he gathered several different kinds and moved to pay, wondering which ones the kids would like the most once he presented it to them while they watched the boats by the harbor trying to decipher the messages with Haku's book.

Breaking up his thoughts, his phone buzzed and he glanced at it again, his frown returning.

 _ **If you met me now, and I had never been your student you wouldn't be so hung up on whether or not you were doing the right thing. You would be focusing on whether or not you wanted to be with me.**_

Jaw tightening for a second he deleted the message again, starting the short walk towards Hinata's apartment, listening to the ruffle of the plastic bag as he walked. Already the sun was blazing up in the azure blue of the sky and he could feel the heat of the pavement warming up, getting ready to fry any unsuspecting feet that landed on it.

It would be good if Hinata packed extra clothes for the kids for the day. They would probably enjoy a dip in the sea again, they seemed to enjoy it the day of the-

 _ **I want to see you. I'm really upset about how things went last time we saw each other. I don't really feel like you heard anything I had to say.**_

His finger lingered over the delete button as he approached Hinata's door and he paused listening suddenly to Haku's voice through the wood.

"Oka-san... Oka-san... Sora dumped some milk in the kitchen...ano...c-can I get a towel?"

Listening Sasuke paused, eyes searching the door as though it would give him answers.

"Oka-san? Are... are you okay?"

He was obviously calling into the bathroom, the sound of his small hand knocking on the wood muffled. "Oka-san?"

Sasuke knocked lightly and Haku opened the door in a few seconds, his eyes worried and relieved at the same time. "Uncle Sasuke."

"Haku-kun." Sasuke smiled, putting a hand on his head. "Where's your mom?"

"One second!" Hinata's voice through the bathroom wall made his dark eyes turn back to the closed door and Haku seemed to sigh beside him as the it opened and Hinata stepped out.

Her eyes were red, and although she had obviously washed her face the fact that she had been crying was not going to be hidden. Licking her dry lips she rested her hands in the back pockets of her jeans.

"Hi... thank you for taking them out today." her voice wavered and quickly she strode down the hall towards the family room. "Sora-chan? Uncle... um... where are you? Oh there you are."

Sora came running down the hall, blonde hair a spirited mane around her face. "Kiki, we go swim."

"Maybe." He smiled as she slammed into his chest when he crouched and he stood with her in his arms, eyes flickering to her mother as she leaned against the wall in the hall.

"They have their backpacks with changes of clothes and water bottles and sunscreen too." She murmured, nodding at the two little sacks on the kids' backs. "Haku is good about sunscreen but Sora fights sometimes."

"No." Sora shook her head in disagreement. Hinata's gaze didn't turn to her daughter, her instructions not breaking tempo. "Um, they have some snacks in their bags for lunch and some money in case they need more. "

Sasuke's face betrayed a moment of irritation. "I can buy them lunch."

"Right... sorry I just... didn't know." She mumbled, her shoulders raising just a bit.

Haku and Sora watched the exchange, their eyes flickering back and forth, their mouths pressed into thin quiet lines.

"We should go." Sasuke murmured. "Say bye to Oka-san."

"Bye, Ka-san." Sora whispered, waving. Haku waved too, eyes lingering on his mother's face as he followed Sasuke down the hall.

Breathing deep Sasuke strode down the hall, fighting the magnetic pull to turn around, to put Sora down at the door, to grip her mother hard to himself, to make her feel his breath on her neck and derail for a moment the sadness that had taken root in her.

But he didn't, he walked and after a time spoke to the kids about their plans for the day, all the while fighting the urge to go back.

* * *

Closing the door after her kids Hinata turned around leaning against it for a moment to catch her breath, to wrangle the tears that had not stopped flowing since the night before. Who knew that tears could rain for so long. She had assumed, hoped even that eventually there would be no more in her, that she would be able to cry herself to sleep and in her sleep at least have some peace from the memories that kept playing over and over in her head.

It wasn't to be, however as they kept pouring. Sniffing slightly she walked slowly back into the kitchen, opening the freezer with a shaking hand and rummaging around inside for a bag of ice. Walking slowly back into her room she stepped over the milk spill Sora had caused on the way and grabbed a handful of the letters sitting on her bedroom shelf before letting herself drop onto her bed, her hair splaying around her in a black ocean like an ink stain against the white of her bed clothes.

It was too cheerful a day. The sun was a brilliant orb of light and heat and life and she dropped the ice onto her face for a second to block it out, the coolness of the frozen water rendering her blind for a moment.

"I hate you." she whispered it. "Just like you hated me... I hate you..." and she wondered if he could hear. "...You did this to me... you took my heart and you left with it..."

The ice couldn't freeze her tears as the sobs began to rip through her again, so she dropped it and began to peel the letters open, hands shaking as she moved to torture herself.

* * *

His phone buzzed again and Sasuke sighed, glancing at it before deleting the message from the same number he had never bothered to enter into his contacts.

"What about that one?" Haku asked.

Where they stood the ocean was a blazing blue that rivaled the sky. It's depth was always changing, reflecting light and color where life came to linger on it's face. From the ocean there was the beach, a strip of brown that hugged it, and kissed it but never got closer, and then the sea wall, lined with trees that weeks ago would have been pink in their prime but now rustled green with the breeze coming off the water.

After that was a road, and like layers of a decadent cake houses, and woods, houses and woods up until they reached where Sasuke, Haku and Sora sat on a bench, the view spreading out around them from the park letting them see the barges as they moved slow and steady in the water.

"Hmm.." Sasuke mulled over, glancing at the boat Haku had pointed. "Let's find the symbols in the book. I can't seem to remember."

Sora was crouched next to their bench, poking at a long string of ants that was making a break for her candy sitting dirty on the bench seat.

"That boat is really really big." Haku whispered, pointing. A cargo barge was flowing in the water, it's black and red hull darkening the ocean around it with it's shadow.

"Yes. Those sometimes go all the way to where you used to live with your Oka-san and Otou-san." Sasuke murmured, squinting his eyes to see the flags flickering on the ship's deck.

"Wow." Haku whispered. "We could ride it to my old house?"

"Yes, I suppose. But those usually just carry things, things you find in stores."

"But..." Haku seemed to be thinking this over. "They have a captain?"

"Yes, and a crew."

"Hm." He squinted at it some more. "...all the way home." He mused, then looked down at his book again, flicking through it's pages.

Sasuke watched him, studying the way that the light reflected off his eyes the way it reflected off the ocean too, making the depth there too hard to gauge.

"Oh no, mine candies!" Sora's voice wailed suddenly and Sasuke stood, turning to look at her, pushing the locks of black hair from his face at the blast of a cold ocean breeze. "Sora-chan." He sighed, walking over to the toddler who sat on the floor her eyes flooding with tears as she tried to shake a handful of ants off her lollipop.

"Can't put that down, chibi." He mumbled, digging around in his bag of treats for another. "Here, I'll trade you for a clean one."

Rubbing her tears away and leaving a smear of dirt and sugar on her cheek Sora nodded, extending her ant lollipop for a freshly unwrapped one.

"Just don't tell your Oka-san about all the candy you're eating." Sasuke muttered absently, and turned when Haku gave a cute little snort laugh.

"Daddy used to say that."

Sasuke stared at him, the child oblivious as he looked through his book again. "Yeah?"

"Mhm."

"He liked to give you candy?"

"Yeah. He liked to eat it too."

Sasuke smiled softly, moving to sit beside Sora on the bench. "Kiki no like." Sora mumbled past her lollipop. "Kiki no likes mine candies."

Haku nodded. "Yep. Uncle Sasuke doesn't eat candy. Mama says he eats tomatoes."

Blinking Sasuke started. "What?"

"Oka-san." Haku muttered, not paying attention as he looked up to study another boat with flags raised high. "Oka-san says you like tomatoes."

Biting his lip Sasuke took a deep breath of the sea air. "Hn."

"Hn." Sora echoed, and grinned at him when he looked at her, eyebrow quirked.

"Those trees." Haku called, pointing at the layers of woodland that went down the hill steeply, holding back the earth from houses and roads on the mountainous terrain. "Can we play there?"

"No," Sasuke shook his head. "It's too steep, it's not for playing."

"Can we get to the boats that way?"

"...maybe but it wouldn't be a nice way to go down." Sasuke frowned. "We should go to the beach. Are you guys hungry?"

"Yeah! Food!" Sora cried, jumping to her feet on the bench and launching herself at Sasuke before he could even prepare to catch her. Gasping he grabbed the monkey awkwardly and hauled her up onto his hip. "Come on, Haku-kun. Let's get something to eat."

"Okay." Haku nodded, his eyes trained on the barge that was moving back out of the harbor slowly.

"Look, Uncle Sasuke... it's going home."

Sasuke sighed, "Maybe. Let's go, Haku."

"Coming," the boy tore his eyes away with some difficulty, throwing his backpack onto his back before running after his Uncle and sister.

* * *

 _...I had to make a will last week. It's probably the most adult thing I've done, and considering I'm married with two kids that's saying a lot. I feel so old sometimes, teme. I think it would help if you were here. We would probably still be doing the same stupid shit from when we were young, just with a little more financial wiggle room. And insurance, you know. Just in case._

 _I didn't like writing the will. Thinking about a funeral, about life insurance for Hinata and the kids to use in case she can't find work for awhile, or can't._

 _But I doubt that would be the case with Hinata. Under pressure is when something hard and determined comes out. Do you have a will? I hope if you do that the old motorcycle you were working on that's still in your family's abandoned garage is on there with my name on it._

 _I was thinking about Itachi's will when I wrote mine, and it hit me that he trusted you completely. He gave you complete control over your life. All the money, all the assets, all the property, all the freedom._

 _I wonder if maybe it was too much for you, 16 years old and alone with everyone watching. I was a kid myself so to me it seemed like not such a bad burden to have unlimited funds at my disposal. But you must have been overwhelmed._

 _Maybe not, you were always a smart son of a bitch, much smarter than me anyway. You probably knew what stocks were at that point. I still don't know for sure what people are talking about when they tell me to invest._

 _I wonder if he knew you were going to do what you did. I don't think so. I think he wanted you to be happy, to be free. I think the last thing he wanted was for you to be bogged down by foster parents or guardians you didn't know, who didn't understand you._

 _I think he thought you were strong enough to withstand the pressure and come out on top somehow._

 _I don't know if he was wrong, I have no idea what you're doing or where you've gone. Maybe there's a piece to this puzzle that I don't have. But I do know that Itachi didn't have a piece of the puzzle when he wrote his will. He didn't know what it would do to you, to see him go like he did._

 _I wish you would talk to me. I wish I could know more, so I could carry some of it for you, but you're out there on your own, and I can't._

 _No one can, unless you let them, Sasuke._

 _your brother always,_

 _Naruto_

He texted that they were going to be a bit late and Hinata barely looked at it. When they arrived at nearly seven he was actually carrying them both. It could not have been easy to get to the apartment from the train station with his arms full of children but somehow he seemed to have managed it.

They were past tired, they were snoring, heads lolling around on their necks like they were made of jello.

"Oh." Hinata whispered as she opened the door he had had to kick instead of knock on. Quickly she pried Sora from his shoulder, carrying her dirty stickiness to her room with him at her heels with Haku, dumping backpacks and shoes in the hall as they went, Hinata removing Sora's pig tails carefully before settling her into her bed.

Their bodies settled onto the mattresses without so much as half a tendon of restraint, like dolls they splayed and quietly Hinata turned the fan on, following Sasuke out the door to the family room.

"Wow." She whispered as she let the door knob go.

"It was hot." Sasuke sighed, moving to her kitchen sink to wash the residue candy Sora had got all over his arm off.

"It must have tired them out so much." Hinata murmured with a nod, her eyes on the letter sitting face up on the table.

"Mhm." He dried his hands slowly on her kitchen towel and bit his cheek. "I should go though, you're probably tired."

Hinata didn't say anything as he walked back towards the door, picking up the kids shoes as he went and placing them neatly by the front.

"Actually. "She murmured, making him pause.

"I read something today." She bent down and retrieved the letter from the table.

Sasuke didn't come closer, looking at her from the darkness of the hall where he had not bothered to turn on the light. "What did he say?"

"Itachi." She whispered, looking at the paper in her hands, sensing as his body tightened at her word.

"...I really can't stay."

Jaw tightening Hinata turned to him, and he could see the damage of the crying on her face still, the sore skin where salt had eaten at her, her sadness taking a bit of her to chew on.

"Where do you have to be?"

He didn't move, didn't let his eyes wander from her face, studying the set of her jaw, the pursed lips and her arm hugging her stomach over her black shirt.

He began to take a breath to speak and stopped when she looked away from him, back at the letter, her hair loosening from her ponytail coming to hang like a barrier between her and himself.

"I told you." She whispered it. "I told you one day... I would ask."

It wasn't a shiver so much as a coldness, it bloomed in his chest, not all at once...like a bubble being blown in the summer by the breeze. Slow, slow, slowly spreading, making his joints ache.

"You did." He whispered back, his hand dropping from the handle of the door.

She slid down the wall, looking at the letter still between her knees. "I'm asking."

 _Oh god._

The pain in his joins was dull and constant, growing as he took steps back into the family room, sitting across from her on the opposite wall, resting his forearms on his knees.

"What...do you want to know?"

Hinata drew in a slow ragged breath, lifting the letter up to her face.

" _I don't know if he was wrong, I have no idea what you're doing or where you've gone. Maybe there's a piece to this puzzle that I don't have. But I do know that Itachi didn't have a piece of the puzzle when he wrote his will. He didn't know what it would do to you, to see him go like he did. "_

Sasuke listened with his eyes closed. He had not read this letter. How had she got a hold of it? Had he accidentally placed an unopened one among the stack?

Had he purposefully forgotten this one existed?

"Why did you leave?"

Breathing slowly Sasuke leaned his head back, keeping his eyes closed.

"Why?"

Dusty old images began to be shaken in his mind, just pieces, and then full pictures, and then like an old movie film starting off rough the pictures picked up speed, rushing in broken bits until they become smooth and the memory was suddenly playing through his mind, clear and crisp.

All those years of trying to forget and one quiet question from a set of beautiful pink lips and it was back, resurrected as though it had never gone away.

 _It annoyed him so much that Itachi never seemed to be home for dinner. And he would forget too, to just call and let him know. Out there in the brightness of summer his friends were playing in the dam or trying to catch fish with makeshift poles in the stream behind the Hyuuga property as the light began to fade but instead he always rushed home at supper time and scrambled to make something edible._

 _His first attempts had been painful. Itachi's laughter when they dug into a lasagna and bit into hard uncooked noodles had made the house seem less empty despite it's vastness._

 _But when he finished school and began working at the clinic full time dinners stopped happening as much._

 _It didn't matter though because Sasuke always got home and made something, improving over time. The first time that Itachi had cautiously taken a bite of a Parmesan chicken bake and blinked in surprise Sasuke had scoffed. "Don't be so damn surprised."_

 _"A chef!" Itachi had cried, ruffling his hair. "A chef in the Uchiha family."_

 _"Don't be stupid."_

 _"No? You'd do great- we could open a restaurant and use our crest as the logo."_

 _"No, I want to be a doctor too."_

 _Itachi had grinned, poking him sharply on the forehead, a thing he had been doing since Sasuke got out of the womb that drove him crazy every time. "Oh? Is that a challenge then, little brother?"_

 _"I don't need to challenge you." Sasuke had grumbled, serving himself a piece of the bake. "We both know I'll be significantly better at being a doctor than you."_

 _Itachi had laughed, and Sasuke had smirked._

 _That day he had not come home from work. He had not called. Irritated Sasuke had climbed onto his bike and pedaled to the clinic on the outskirts of town where the country seemed to meet the almost city feel of their tiny home._

 _Itachi didn't like it when he visited, especially without notice. That was probably why he went that day, to piss him off as much as he was pissed off._

 _"They have problems, Sasuke. Complex difficult to control problems. I know they seem pretty calm most of the time but they can be extremely fragile." Itachi always grumbled at him when he showed up and he had to leave early to drive him home. "I don't want you to see some of the things that happen here sometimes- or be involved. Think kid. You have a big brain this isn't a complicated issue."_

 _"I just talk to them." Sasuke shook his head. "And there's nurses all over the place, what could happen?"_

 _"I especially don't like you talking to them." Itachi muttered darkly. "Orochimaru asks about you all the damn time and I don't like it. He's a creep."_

 _"I am pretty sure you're not allowed to say that if you're his doctor." Sasuke commented drily. Itachi shot him a look, and then a smirk. "If you tell anyone no one will believe you anyway."_

 _So he knew that Itachi wouldn't be happy when he appeared in the clinic doors, and late in the evening especially. Less staff made him nervous sometimes and Sasuke always wondered why he didn't end up being a surgeon instead. People under anesthesia couldn't talk to him and make him creeped out. That was Sasuke's plan, cut people open, sow them back up._

 _No talking._

 _The doors to the clinic opened and he meandered in, waving at the nurse who recognized him as he approached._

 _"Hi, Sasuke." She smiled. "Looking for your brother?"_

 _"Yeah, he never called to tell me he wasn't going to be home for dinner. Just wanted to check in." He looked around. She nodded. "I think they're pretty busy today."_

 _"Can I just go look for him?" He nodded towards the locked door and she hesitated, her hand lingering near the unlock pad. "He's mentioned he hates it when you go in there though, Sasuke..."_

 _"I won't say it was you." He shrugged and she sighed, defeated by that young handsome face. "Fine. I'm off in five minutes anyway, if I'm gone tell him someone else buzzed you in."_

 _"Perfect."_

 _With a shrill warning cry the door unlocked and Sasuke stepped inside. Although everything was white, or cream or light blue it still seemed dirty somehow. Itachi was careful with things like that. The way that a place made the patients feel was important to him and Sasuke knew the clinic was cleaned thoroughly regularly._

 _Yet it always held on to that slightly slimy feeling somehow. Like people's thoughts inside were spilling out a little and leaving a residue on everything._

 _Doors lined the halls and inside he sometimes heard the whispers of people talking to themselves. There was a varied group of patients at the clinic. Suicide watch for some, manic depressive for others, hallucinations and off the grid delusions of grandeur._

 _But there was one that always made him curious and his door was rarely locked. Mostly calm Orochimaru had a little more reign over his time and space than some of the other patients._

 _As he headed towards Itachi's office Sasuke paused, looking curiously at the door left ajar with Orochimaru's name on the plaque by the door._

 _Inside he could clearly see the empty bed and puzzled he walked past it down the brightly lit hall, hearing the first voices of nurses._

 _"He's going to have to be transferred."_

 _"Are they on their way?"_

 _"I think so, he bit off his ear too, did you see it?"_

 _"Jesus." their whispers were loud in the stillness and Sasuke paused before nearing one of the examination rooms, a nurses' hand was holding the door half open while she and her companion looked back at a patient inside._

 _"Hello?" Sasuke called, making them jump to look at him. "Sasuke!"_

 _"Hey."_

 _"What are you doing here? I thought your brother didn't like it when you were wandering around in here alone."_

 _"I'm actually just looking for him." Mildly annoyed with the mothering tone he shrugged. "Any idea where I can find him?"_

 _"In his office, I think he's on the phone though, just getting some paperwork done for a hospital transfer."_

 _Letting his eyes wander to the door she held open the nurse jumped and let it slam closed as she stepped out. "Something happen?"_

 _"Nothing out of the ordinary. Pretty exciting place to work unfortunately." She smiled and he rolled his eyes, walking past her towards his brother's office._

 _The door was ajar and he could see Itachi sitting at his desk hunched over scribbling things into a note pad._

 _"Yeah. Yeah..." He looked up at the movement by his door and his frown was not pleasant._

 _"Right." He continued on the phone waving him in. Sasuke stepped in and leaned against the door frame, trying not to roll his eyes at him again._

 _"Thank you... yes. Bye" As soon as the phone was on the receiver Itachi stood up. "Really? Again?"_

 _"You didn't call."_

 _"I can't always call, Sasuke."_

 _"You were literally just on the phone."_

 _"Doing work." Itachi stepped around his desk and leaned against it, arms crossed, frown firmly planted on his face. "I thought you were much more mature than this."_

 _"Ugh, not this again."_

 _"What? I'm serious."_

 _"You're trying to daddy me."_

 _"Daddy you?"_

 _"You just gotta text me or call me, that's all." Sasuke grumbled. "And I won't show up here again."_

 _Itachi went to open his mouth but the phone rang again and he sighed. "Ugh, Orochimaru attacked another patient today during rest hour and now I have to get him transferred- probably gonna lose an ear."_

 _Sasuke winced._

 _"I can't have you listen." Itachi muttered. "This is confidential, I could get sued, wait outside- just outside the door, don't move."_

 _Scoffing a little Sasuke stepped outside and closed the office door, biting his cheek as he thought. It seemed weird to think of the odd but relatively calm guy he had spoken to so many times before randomly biting a person's ear off. Surely there was something that set him off?Maybe it was a fight. Sometimes crazy nonsense happened in fights. He'd never personally bitten anyone but he could totally see Naruto getting frustrated enough to._

 _A sound made him jump suddenly from the room across from him, and light danced inside, the crash of something clattering to the floor making him pause._

 _"What the...?"_

 _He felt the wall fall away from his back as he stepped towards the ajar door in front of him and carefully he peered in._

 _"...hello?"_

 _A lamp was sitting haphazardly against the empty medical bed, the only light in the dark room. Shelves with medical supplies lined one side of the room and monitors switched off sat sleeping in the darkness._

 _"Oh it's you." His voice made him start and he jumped when Orochimaru stepped out from behind the door._

 _Hair rising on the back of his neck Sasuke started, moving to pull himself back into the hall but Orochimaru's hand was already on his shirt, his grip there iron, his eyes cold and yet wild._

He wasn't in his room.

 _"Shss, shss." He hissed, and pulled hard, sending Sasuke flying and slamming onto the cold floor, the door closing behind him with a click that was the same to him as the sound of a shot gun._

 _It all went south from there..._

Hinata's eyes were fixated on his face, unmoving as he spoke.

"He collapsed my windpipe. I think I may have blacked out or come close. My brother... he found us and pulled him off me. When I woke up he had stabbed Itachi with a surgical knife, and...he was trying to carve out...his eyes."

He didn't see her move, eyes closed, seeing the white coat stained red, the animalistic thing on top of his brother, giggling.

"I got up...It was hard to breathe...but I couldn't... I..." his body was shaking and as Hinata approached he opened his eyes, just in time to see her slowly lower herself down in front of him, eyes unwaveringly focused on his face.

Looking away he breathed in deep. "...I couldn't scream for help. I don't... I don't remember. They told me that I used the knife."

Her soft intake of air didn't stop him. It was too late to stop.

"I stabbed him thirty times. It hurt my wrist." His fingers twitched and her hand lingered on his joint, cool fingers sliding around it, squeezing.

"...I couldn't stay." eyes closed again he pictured the faces of his friends, their sympathy their confusion.

"The clinic was doing medical trials, the company shut down the program and bought a publication ban. No one knew what happened, just that something did, and they all asked me. And I could say nothing...for a while I couldn't talk...my throat was too damaged, but when it healed I couldn't figure out what to say, or do.."

"...so you ran." her voice was quiet. "You ran away from their pity."

"He cared...he cared about his work. He cared about making them better. I had a charity approach me...mental health. I guess they heard somehow about me, and what happened and the money my family left behind. I decided I would leave when I read their letter requesting that I start a foundation to help research for mental health. In memory of my brother." His tone grew hard and Hinata felt his hand shake in her grip.

"Lot of good it did him...working so hard for them... I couldn't...I can't do it. The expectation is that I finish what he began in life, work towards helping people. And I can't." His eyes opened and startled he found her right in front of him, her chin nearly on his knee, gray gaze focused.

"You...helped...me."

He could feel her breath on his lips, her intensity a new thing he had never witnessed before. Aching and in distress she had the same allure that a bottle of high prized gin did, but he had been avoiding drinking for so long he could hardly give in now.

Sharply he stood.

"...I have to go, HInata... I'm sorry."

She watched him from the floor, her eyes clouded by something. "I'm sorry." she whispered, pushing herself up slowly. "Sakura probably doesn't appreciate you being so late, is that who you're meeting?"

Pulse speeding Sasuke looked at her, jaw muscle tensing. "No... I'm not... we're not... I just spoke to her the once."

As if on cue his phone buzzed and lit up on the table and together they glanced at it, half the message glowing brightly on the screen.

 _ **I want you to talk to me like you were never my sensei, I just need you to think...**_

Swallowing hard Hinata picked up the device and handed it to him.

"You should go."

A thousand words flowed in his mind as he studied her face, her eyes blank, her mouth lax.

 _No, please don't look at me like that._

"Thank you for taking the kids today." Her voice was flat, controlled. "I appreciate it."

"Hinata."

As she opened the door for him she waited, eyes looking out to the hall.

"I love...those kids..." He breathed in hard, reigning himself back sharply. "I will always be here, I promise."

Eyes shifting beneath the cover of her hair Hinata nodded. "I hope so."

He stepped out, more words fighting in his mouth to get out but none winning.

"Good night." she whispered it, and as the door closed he stared, swallowing everything in his throat hard.

This is what he had wanted.

This.

 _Kiba is right._

 _I'm insane._

* * *

 ** _So. tired. Did not edit this as well as I usually do but I can hardly keep my eyes open._**

 ** _leave me some love, ne?_**

 ** _inky_**


	20. Chapter 20

_**A.N**_

 _ **I just wanna say- like, we all know I'm no slouch right? I have been popping a chapter two or even three a day no problem for two weeks now.**_

 _ **This chapter right here took me ALL day. All freaking day.**_

 _ **I wrote it and wrote it again and wrote it again and the only version that is semi okay is this one. I HATE this chapter. I hate it.**_

 _ **Rip it to shreds. Flame it. Be my guest. Nothing anyone else says is going to be as brutal as what I've already told myself about this chapter.**_

 _ **It had to happen, that's where the story WANTS to go but I am so annoyed with it that it just didn't flow.**_

 _ **Meh.**_

 _ **Inky**_

* * *

"So this is how it is now, hm?"

Kiba's voice was quiet, and sitting next to each other on the train somehow the conversation still felt private despite the other people who sat near them. The sky was dark, and the stars were out. Not a cloud in the sky to block them.

The kids had gone to sleep happily, content with their uncles and mother before drifting off. Unaware that as the door to their bedroom closed a tension appeared in the air, coming out of hiding when their little eyes were not watching.

Kiba would linger, although not long, and the moment he stood Sasuke would follow, their quiet words less amiable to each other than even Hinata's were to Sasuke.

Sasuke was tired. The kind of tired that you couldn't get rid of with sleep. The constant pull of himself away from things he wanted was exhausting. It was a diet that had no end, and fast without eventual death or gorging.

He didn't even have the energy to fight.

"I don't know what you want me to say."

"Do care about her? Like, I know you think you do, but to me, it looks like you care about you much more than her."

Closing his eyes Sasuke took a breath, letting his head hit the glass of the window behind him, feeling the gentle swaying of the train.

"Care to elaborate?" He muttered and Kiba stared down at his hands folded loosely in front of him.

"It just seems to me that you're saying you want to protect her from you but you're ignoring what it's doing to her."

"I'm still here, I'm still... I am helping, I am with the kids I am-"

"She wants you to be with her."

"No." Sasuke shook his head. "She has never so much as said-"

"Sasuke." Kiba sighed, exasperated. "God, I know you're clever, don't pretend to be stupid."

He stopped, he listened, he sighed. "What if I were to go through with it?"

The question had never been voiced and Kiba paused, looking at him. "What?"

"What if I told her... that I wanted to be with her. What then?" His eyes lifted to his friend's and Kiba stared back. "Then you'd be together."

"How? Her boyfriend?"

"...I don't know."

"If it doesn't work out, I what...? Disappear?"

Frowning Kiba shifted in his seat. "Why would it not work out?"

"She just lost her husband, I... am a mess. Do we hide it from the kids, in case it doesn't pan out? And if we break up and it's ugly, do I step back then, or do I linger for them, making her uncomfortable and upset?"

Kiba was watching him with interest, his expression of dislike fading. "It's a chance, Sasuke sure. But... I know you. I know her. You're not the dating type."

His heart was moving hard in his chest, it hurt and he rubbed his sternum vaguely, as if to dispel the discomfort.

"It just looks like you're afraid, of failing of being a screw up- whatever- but it's your fear that holds you back not a desire to take care of them." Kiba finally muttered darkly, turning away. "Sure, there's plenty of reasons not to move forward, but what are the consequences of staying back?" He glanced at him before gathering his things and moving towards the train doors as his stop approached.

Sasuke swallowed. "The consequences of staying back..."

Kiba fixed him with a long look as the train slowed, his hand holding tight to the pole beside him. "Yeah... can you picture her with someone else?"

The flinch was involuntary, it made him clench his teeth. "Can you picture her _in bed_ with someone else?"

Turning away Sasuke stared out the window as people began to get off and then onto the train.

"Would you survive that?" Kiba shook his head, stepping off the train, not waiting for his friend to reply as the doors slid closed. Sasuke turned to look at him, watching his brown eyes studying him back before the train began to move again and he was left alone in the crowd, trying to steady himself against the sick feeling in his gut.

"Consequences..."

* * *

She was small, he had known this, but perhaps not realized just how small until she showed up to meet him at the shopping district without heels.

He stared, and she stared back and then he laughed.

"You're... you're..." Surprise flooded Kiba's face as he looked at her.

Tamaki's eyes turned to slits, tiny puckered mouth glistening like covered in icing sugar. For a second it made him pause his chuckles, biting his lip before patting her on the head.

"You're tiny."

"You're dumb."

He smirked, nodded down the street that was spiraling with multicolored lights against the dark summer sky. "Let's find your cat."

"Kitten." She corrected softly and stepped up beside him on the sidewalk. She was wearing simple clothes that seemed unlike her, a pair of jeans and a black t-shirt. Blinking mildly she studied him right back, unabashed by his staring. Unaccustomed to this he smiled. Hinata would have flooded with heat at his appreciative glance.

"Something wrong with my clothes?"

"I just... haven't really seen you in anything but a skirt." He commented, and she looked down at her jeans, tucking her hands into the pockets of her white sweater. "I didn't think the kitten would care what I wore to pick it up."

"You could probably just ride it home anyway, you're so tiny."

"Tch." Tamaki grumbled, giving him a shove that didn't move him at all, although the effort was appreciated. "Why did I ask you here again?"

"You don't know the city, I do."

"Right."

"Over there." He pointed across the street. "That's where I saw them last, although there's a few other pet stores around here. This one is nice though, they handle mostly strays, no breeding."

"Oh good." she blinked at him, surprised. "You don't seem like a cat person. I'm glad you knew to find a store that doesn't breed them."

"I like dogs." Kiba shook his head. "I mean, cats are okay, but if I were to ever get a pet it would be a dog, for sure."

"Why don't you?" Puzzled she followed him to cross and started when he reached out to stop her as a cab came barreling by, his hand across her stomach lightly making her jump.

"I don't think my neighbors or the dog would appreciate it." He laughed, and grabbed her wrist to pull her across before the cars started careening through the busy street again. Tamaki blinked at his grip on her wrist with mild surprise but didn't pull away until he let go on the other side.

"I'm not home much- even less now with helping Hinata-chan with her kids twice a week. Poor thing would be inside ALL day. That's no life for a dog."

Tamaki followed, her face betraying the puzzled surprised on her face until he quirked an eyebrow at her lightly. "What?"

"...I just... you didn't seem like the considerate type."

"Eh?" He wrinkled his nose at her. "You seem like the foot in mouth type."

The smirk she flashed at him made him consider the possibility that she wasn't annoyed with him as much as he had thought and something funny happened in his gut.

"Well, you were such a pain in the butt when I first showed up."

"I haven't changed."

"No, I guess not." she blinked, then jabbed him lightly with her elbow. "Clearly the consideration stops at me."

"I'm here aren't I? If I had a dog the poor thing would have had to stay at the apartment just so I could help you get a cat. Somehow I think that goes in the considerate points section for me." He grumbled, rubbing his side where her elbow had made contact.

Tamaki watched him as they stepped around people in the crowd, allowing herself a little grin. "Okay, consideration points. How many points do you need and what do you get when you get them all?"

Surprised by the turn in the conversation Kiba glanced over at her again, startled to have her eyes fixated on him again. "Uh... I... I don't know."

"I'll have to think of something then." Tamaki hummed and stepped forward, walking backwards to face him, looking thoughtful. "Cake?"

"I can get my own cake."

"Hmm... " she continued, stopping when he did in front of the pet shop. Feeling her brain completely derail she breathed in and pressed her nose to the glass, staring into the window where a dozen puffy white kittens rolled like balls of winter snow in the play pen.

"Oh no." she whispered, fogging up the glass.

Kiba looked at her, blinking. "What?"

"They're too cute."

"Eh?"

"I'm going to have to get them all."

He snorted, shook his head and then blinked when she turned to look at him, eyes watering. "Oi! Why are you crying?"

"They're too cute, Kiba-kun!"

"Ah!" He gasped, watching her tears overflow, hands up to her cheeks to try to staunch the flow. Too preoccupied with the sudden emotion he didn't notice her use his first name. "They're too cute! How can I pick just one?"

Softly he felt a laugh start in his chest and then bubble up out of his mouth until she was blinking at him through her tears, fingers wiping away furtively. "Why are you laughing? That's so mean!"

"Too cute." He muttered, shaking his head as he opened the door to the shop, waiting for her to get in. Tamaki blinked at him mildly and with a distasteful look she stepped through, unaware that he had not been referring to the cats.

"I want Sora-chan to get one... did you ever have a chance to mention it to Hinata-chan?"

'Um... kind of... I wouldn't right now, just because...Ah..." he shrugged, following her around to where the kittens were, waving lightly at the "Welcome!" from the staff at the back near the counter.

"She's been very sad lately." Tamaki admitted, reaching down to pick up one and then two of the kittens, holding them up to her face with a pout on her face. "You must be more ugly, this is unfair to me."

Chuckling Kiba watched, leaning against one of the shelves with pet food on it. "She's had a rough year, since her husband died."

"Hm..." Tamaki eyed one cat and put it down, picking up another tiny mewling pile of fluff. "Well. She seemed very happy when I first met her."

Interested, Kiba bit his cheek, toying with a chew toy hanging from the shelf idly. "Uh... yeah?"

"Mhm. I was pretty sure that she and Uchiha-san were a thing." She continued, lowering both cats and reached way across the closed pen for another. It wasn't a particularly tall gate in her way but being exceptionally short didn't help much and she windmilled for a minute until Kiba grabbed her shirt and pulled her back down.

"They're not." Kiba answered her comment finally, mildly annoyed. Tamaki turned her eyes from the kitten in her hands to him, noting his tone. "Oh?" She blinked at him a bit more, and her eyes lowered to the kitten, softening. "Were you...were you hoping Hinata-chan would maybe consider you then?"

A little taken aback Kiba started. "Uh... no.. I...it's not like that with Hinata-chan and I, not at all." Blushing was not something he did often but his cheeks were definitely betraying him and laughing mildly he rubbed the back of his head.

Tamaki studied him the same way she was studying the cats. "Hm."

"She likes him." He protested. "She likes him a lot, actually I think she just has not figured it out yet, and it's driving me insane because I know for a fact that Sasuke is head over heels for that girl but he's being an idiot."

It was verbal diarrhea at it's worst and Tamaki just stood there, watching with a growing smile.

"He has this thing where he thinks he wrecks everything he touches... I mean.. kinda true, he sucks at just being a person sometimes, so I kind of get where he's coming from but he's improved so much since Hinata showed up with her kids, and I just wanna shake him because..." he paused, watching her walk over mildly, cocking her head at him as he spouted all the stuff that had been sitting heavy in his chest for weeks.

"...I...I should probably not have said all of that just now." he stuttered, pressing himself against the shelf at her sudden approach. Tamaki wrinkled her nose in amusement.

"Consideration points again."

"Uh...thanks, I guess." He blinked, feeling the heat in his ears intensify.

"Good thing you're not into Hinata-chan." She added, poking a a fish tank right by his ear with one small manicured nail. "Or I'd have thought I was out of the running."

Kiba couldn't have looked more confused. "W...w...what did you-?"

"Kidding." Flashing him a grin again she stepped back, turning around and scooping up another cat. "I think this one. This one looks... considerate. I think he will make a good friend." she raised him up over her head, and the cat looked back down at her lazily.

Heart still slamming around in his chest Kiba took a deep breath in an attempt to calm himself.

"Let's find him some food!" She turned, and stopped halfway towards one of the aisles, blinking at his still frazzled expression.

"Kiba-kun? What's wrong?"

"Nothing." He shook his head with force. "Not a thing."

"Okay." She smiled, a little too knowingly. "Let's go." and grabbing his arm began to drag him through the store. Kiba blinked at her back, watching her with wary brown eyes.

 _I didn't imagine that, did I?_

* * *

The rain had been pouring for days. Hinata stared at it coming down with the force of a hurricane and wondered at the beginning of summer vacation.

Beside her in her bed lay Haku, his dark hair a stain of black ink against the whiteness of her covers and slowly she ran her fingers through his hair, feeling the silk of each lock pass gently through her fingers.

Lazily he watched her, his cheeks pink and his mouth set in a content half smile. It was rare that she had time to just be with her boy. Before Naruto would have been outside running laps around the house trying to wear Sora out while she and Haku whispered stories to each other in the covers, listening to the antics of his father and sister outside through the windows left ajar to let in a breeze in the heat of summer and spring.

But it had been months now since she had had a chance and thankfully Sora had gone to sleep early on this particular wet day, making her mother wonder if she would be going through a growth spurt soon.

"Mmm." Haku sighed contentedly, burying himself a little deeper into the softness of his mother's blankets. There was something about the smell, he had told her once, of her bed.

"It's clean. And...flowery."

Hinata had smiled and kissed his nose.

"So much rain." Hinata whispered softly, mostly to herself, and Haku let his eye wonder briefly to the window behind him before settling back into the bed a little closer to the warmth of his mother's body than before.

"Oka-san doesn't like the rain."

Hinata's gray eyes snapped to her son's blue, startled by the intensity in his young gaze. In the shadows of the rainy evening his eyes seemed to glow, reflecting the little light available in the room to shine on his irises. Pieces of the sky, that's what she always thought of when she had looked at Naruto. There is sky in his face, and when he smiles the sky smiles with him.

Now her baby looked back at her, seriousness tingeing the heavens in his gaze as he studied her too.

"It's very wet and uncomfortable." she murmured lightly, passing her fingers over his cheek, feeling the crusty bits of a left over cookie on his chin.

"It's how daddy died."

Her face grew still, and with some effort her hand continued to move, sliding through his hair, tracing the lines of his young still pudgy jaw.

One day he would grow tall, his chin would harden, his shoulders would broaden and those blue eyes would look at her through her husband's face even though Haku would be inside.

"Yes." she admitted softly, raising her eyes back to Haku's unwavering stare. "I don't like it."

"You miss daddy."

"Yes, baby." She breathed in shakily, straining to keep herself calm as the familiar never ending pain echoed dully in her gut. "Of course I do."

"Me too." Suddenly his fingers raised up and moved over her nose, down the smooth bridge and over her lips to her chin and back up on cheek, slightly sticky with something but gentle.

"When do we get a new daddy?"

This time Hinata was unable to keep the shock from registering on her face and she studied him, thankful that his gaze was following the trajectory of his fingers over her cheek and then her jaw, to her ear, tracing her outline carefully.

"Haku...what?"

"At daycare..." he whispered slowly, eyes still focused on the travel of his fingers over his mom's smooth familiar skin. "...my friend Reina...she told me her mommy and daddy don't live together anymore."

Hinata kept her eyes on his face, watching his young delicate lips forming the words slowly. "But she lives with her mommy...and a new daddy."

Slowly air expanded the lungs in her chest, trying to dispel the pressure building in her chest.

 _Oh God, Naruto...Oh God..._

The tears were welling now, no matter her attempt to keep them at bay. Slowly she blinked, feeling them wet her lashes as she shivered.

"I love daddy so much baby." her voice wavered. "I don't know... if I could have a new daddy...for you..."

Haku didn't stop his gentle stroking, moving down her neck and over her shirt to her shoulder and arm.

"But maybe?"

"Haku..."

"Do you... get to pick?" And his hand stopped moving on her skin, lingering for a moment, his eyes down to the covers.

Hinata searched his face, lips parted with words she didn't know how to say. "I...I guess, you could say that I get to pick...but...Haku-"

"If you got to pick..." His voice hesitated, eyes shifting decidedly away from her as he lowered his little hand back down to the covers. "...could it be Uncle Sasuke?"

Hinata moved to sit up, her eyes on his face the tears leaving trails on her cheeks like the rain leaving rivulets of water on her window.

"Haku, I thought you didn't... it's not that simple, baby... I...you want him to be...?" her words caught in her throat and she stopped, attempting to calm herself.

Haku remained still on the bed, his eyes distant as he studied his hand laying limply beside him.

"I think that daddy would be happy if it was him."

Slowly Hinata raised a hand to her mouth, pressing it there as she clenched her eyes shut, unable to look at the pale blue sadness on her son's face. On Naruto's face.

"I'm sorry, Oka-san... I was... I'm sorry." Worriedly Haku curled into himself, watching his mother bury herself into her hands, shoulders shaking with contained silent sobs.

"Oka-san?" His voice shook, and he shivered, pressing himself more firmly into the mattress.

"Haku." Hinata whispered, her voice thick with her tears, slowly she lowered herself back down, wrapping her arms gently around the little body, pressing her forehead to his, her smile wavering but present.

"You don't like him?" Haku's voice was thick too, shaky like the wobbly knees on a new foal and Hinata sighed, pressing harder against his little forehead. Eyes closed, she went backwards, looking through the moment of contact. Sasuke's eyes had been impassive, but his jaw had clenched with displeasure at the sight of her. After years of hiding there she was, ruining his supposed calm.

She could still feel the animosity rolling off him when she thought about it. But then there had been his stillness, his shock at her words about Naruto's death. She watched in her mind as he arrived at her door late in the evening, ready to pick a fight, knocked over by the sight of Sora in the hallway, his eyes both terrified and ashamed.

"He is grumpy...sometimes." Haku admitted softly.

"But..." Hinata whispered, seeing Sasuke peering back at Sora's face from the ground, his uncertainty overridden by his instant affection for her smile. "He is very kind."

"Yeah." Haku nodded against her. "And fun."

How many times had she arrived to find the kids asleep on his body, pressed to him as if to make sure he didn't leave when they fell into unconsciousness.

How many times had he pulled her into his arms, allowed her to cry for Naruto into his clothes, whispering his promise to remain with her, with them.

"And he gives me candy, sometimes." Haku added sheepishly, making her smile and taste the salt of her tears on her face. "Like daddy used to."

"I...do like him, Haku-kun." Hinata whispered, and her body shivered against him. Haku studied his mom's closed eyes.

"I love him." He decided, putting it out there like a challenge and Hinata laughed softly, stifling more tears at the end, her eyes watching through her damp lashes as the rain continued to pour outside.

"Me too, baby... I think me too."

* * *

When the phone buzzed on the coffee table he didn't even look at it. No one texted him, ever, except for the one person he wished would leave him alone.

It was several hours before he picked it up to check the time, and when he did he started in surprise.

 _ **Hinata Hyuuga:**_

 _ **Birthday dinner and cake at my house on Saturday, at 7 pm ok? Everyone able to make it?**_

Birthday?

Puzzled he looked at the date and started.

His birthday.

Standing he walked towards the window in his living room, looking out into the pouring rain with confusion clearly displayed on his face.

His birthday?

As he struggled to get a handle on what she had said his phone buzzed again and Kiba's number glowed on the dial screen. Sighing Sasuke picked up.

"What?"

 _"Don't you dare just ignore her text you piece of walking shit. I mean it."_

"Coming on a little strong there, Kiba."

 _"She sent it at noon, text her back telling her it's fine now, it's a group message I should be able to see it."_

Closing his eyes Sasuke leaned his forehead against the windowpane, feeling the chill of the rain through the glass. "Kiba-"

 _"No, no, no. Don't "Kiba" me right now. I am not even kidding. She's told Tamaki what she's making for supper and is all nervous about it. The kids are stoked they're having a party for you. Get on the fucking phone and either call her saying you're coming or text her but so help me if you don't..."_

Sighing Sasuke knocked his head lightly against the window, watching the marred twisted light coming through the water and glass bounce with the impact.

"Fine."

 _"Not fine. Fantastic. It's fantastic that she still gives a rats ass about you. Seriously._ _ **I'm**_ _sick of you that's for sure."_

"I know."

A deep sigh later and Kiba's voice softened. _"Why are you so scared of being happy, Sasuke? I mean, honestly."_

 _Honestly?_

Sasuke shook his head even though he couldn't see it, pressing a palm into his eye so hard it hurt a bit. "I don't know, Kiba... I don't know."

 _"Tch. Well get over it. Contact her now."_

And he was gone, leaving Sasuke staring at his phone with confusion that lingered and left a shiver on his body that wouldn't go away.

Slowly, his hands typed out on his phone, unsteadily, and without certainty.

 _ **I'll be there.**_

Lowering the device he ran a hand through his hair, wondering if he would regret his decision in the morning.

A buzz on the phone made him glance at it again, expecting Kiba's message of "Good, you dick." or something along those lines but instead another message showed glowing in the screen from a number he had grown to dislike and a frown crossed his face.

 _ **I'm at Ichiriku Bar, on the east side. I'm planning to get wasted if you don't come to talk to me at least for a bit. I'm done. How can you just ignore me for weeks on end? Like I'm a piece of garbage... I may have started drinking already. I wish I hated you.**_

Sighing Sasuke stood.

He couldn't go to Hinata's on Saturday with his phone buzzing like crazy with these stupid messages. What a mistake he had made contacting that girl.

What a mistake he had made...

Quickly throwing on his jacket he moved out the door, heading towards a bar for the first time in over six months, of all things- against his will.

* * *

"Thank you again." Hinata murmured at the door, and Tamaki grinned. "Don't worry, Sora's asleep and Kiba will be here soon. I don't mind at all." Turning her eyes to Haku she cocked her head. "You sure you don't wanna hang out with me, little man? I'm putting a pretty cool show on the TV."

Haku smiled politely, gripping his mother's hand firmly as he stood in the hall of their apartment building beside her. "Ah...no...thank you. I want to get Uncle Sasuke's birthday present with Oka-san."

Smiling again Tamaki shrugged. "Okay, bring me back some cookies."

"Okay."

Hinata nodded at her and holding Haku's hand moved towards the street. "It's kind of late, Haku-kun. Are you sure about not staying?" she asked as they stepped out into the light of the street lamps dotting their road.

"I'm not tired."

"You always say that."

"But I never am."

"So...how come you sleep then?"

Haku blinked, stumped, swinging his mother's arm slowly as he thought. "Because you tell me I have to."

Hinata's eyes crinkled at the corners. "Well...you're your father's son, that's for sure." Haku giggled in reply.

As they meandered into the train station Hinata eyed the crowd, surprised to see so many people lingering on the platform, talking quietly to each other. Puzzled she cocked her head, listening to the conversations as the crowd shifted and moved but never seemed to dissipate.

Above her near the roof the flashing lights of an electronic announcement bar flickered.

 _Obstruction on Line 5 Due West: Wait times appox. 1 hour._

"Oh..." Hinata sighed, blinking mildly at the sign. "There's something wrong with the train that goes by our grocery store."

"Uh oh." Haku replied, looking around. "No present?"

"Well... we could try again tomorrow." Hinata muttered, glancing back at the stairs heading to the street level thoughtfully.

"But... I really wanted to get it today." Haku's voice lowered and nearly whispered the end of that sentence, his eyes glancing sideways and trying not to make eye contact. Even when disappointed or annoyed his cheeks brightened with a slight rosy shade and she sighed.

"Well... I think I remember there being a grocery store right off one of the train stations going eastward." she mumbled, glancing at the map displaying all the lines carefully. "Let's try a new one."

"Okay!" Haku bounced along with her to the map and Hinata nodded. "We will take that train, it should be here in five minutes."

"Five minutes! Yay!"

And together they swayed on their feet, standing the same way without even knowing it.

* * *

The bar was full, much more full than he had anticipated and he was wondering about the decision to come down to get the stupid girl home.

Frowning he stood at the threshold and sighed, moving forward through the door and scanning the smoky place for the flash of pink hair that he was starting to loathe.

It was a dimly lit bar, and a small one at that. At the door were several already intoxicated young men in suits, shouting rather than talking at each other, their faces red and their smiles wobbly.

The smell of the smoke and the stench of the liquor made him wrinkle his nose, wondering again how he could have possibly spent so much time in these places, sitting next to these people pretending it was just a couple of drinks every few days or every few weeks when it had really been almost every day for years.

Finally, half hidden behind a larger man he caught sight of Sakura with her head in her hands, several glasses of what appeared to have been beer sitting empty in front of her.

Jaw clenching Sasuke moved forward, side stepping some rather unsteady drunks trying to get by before they landed on him.

"Haruno."

Startled Sakura looked up, staring at his dark eyes as though she were trying to figure out what he was.

"...S-Sasuke?"

"Get up." He grumbled, grabbing her arm.

"I...I haven't paid yet." Sakura gasped, her cheeks red as she pulled her arm from his grip. "...I don't want to go anyway."

"You're underage- get up." He frowned.

Breathing in deep Sakura turned back to the bar, waving at the bar tender to come over. "Can I get another one please?"

"Sure thing, sweetheart."

Sasuke closed his eyes and took a deep calming breath. "Haruno, get up."

"You're not my teacher, Sasuke." Sakura muttered in reply as the beer was slid across the counter towards her. "I don't have to listen to you."

Jaw clenching hard Sasuke toyed with his options for a moment. He could drag her out, have her make a fuss and potentially have other people stick their nose into the mess he didn't even want to be a part of. Or he could just leave.

The thought of Hinata looking at him in shock at leaving the girl there half drunk and alone made him wince, and he sighed.

"Why did you have to be my teacher?" Sakura murmured, and she shifted in her chair, adjusting her form fitting skirt with her fingers absently.

Slowly Sasuke pulled himself onto a stool next to her. "You're already drunk. You have to go home, Haruno."

"You don't listen to a word I say, do you?"

She rested her elbow on the smooth bar table, holding her chin in her hand as she stared at him. The first button on her blouse had come undone and absently he noticed that her bra could be seen peeking through the parted fabric, the bright red color a startle against the pale skin of her chest.

"I hear that you are extremely drunk right now. You're underage and you should go home."

"Why can't you even entertain the idea that I might be able to love you?" Her eyes tried to focus on his but drifted, lingering on his lips and neck and then back up as though they were trying to stick but found it easier to slide.

Sasuke breathed in softly. "I love someone already."

Back straightening Sakura pushed away from the bar, suddenly alert. "What?"

"I don't repeat myself."

"Who?"

"It doesn't matter."

"Yes... it does. Who?"

Frowning Sasuke stood. He had tried. He had put in all the effort that was needed. Surely there was nothing more that could be done. Waving at the bartender he nodded at Sakura. "Underage."

Cursing the bartender went to grab her beer, although Sakura could hardly care. Abandoning her purse she moved after him through the people in the restaurant.

"Sasuke!"

"I'm going."

"Sasuke wait!"

The door was only a few feet away when she reached him, grabbing onto his arm partly for balance and partly to hold him back. "Wait, please... please, tell me who."

Shaking his head at her and attempting without much luck to dislodge her fingers from his jacket he sighed. "Stop. You're making a scene."

"You must care about me. Otherwise why are you here?" Her words were having trouble getting out of her mouth and as he stepped out onto the street she stumbled and sighing again he caught her, trying to straighten her out on her feet with some difficulty. "How much did you have? You can't even stand."

"Please don't just ignore me." Sakura whimpered suddenly, her eyes filling with tears. "I...I've been so patient...I've waited so long..."with her arms gripping his he started at her pushing towards him suddenly, attempting to land a kiss on his face that he twisted away from.

"Haruno, stop." He growled, giving her a little shake that made her hair tumble into her face as her tears fell. "Stop."

"Oi." someone suddenly said and Sasuke winced as one of the men leaning against the wall of the bar pushed himself to stand straight. "What is wrong with you?"

"Don't." Sasuke snapped, giving him a glare that would usually stall men and make them reconsider any stupid actions towards him. However these particular ones were drunk and at his tone a few more straightened as though interested.

"If you don't want her, I'll certainly have a go." One muttered, giving Sakura's arm a tug that made her stumble into his grip, his hand travelling over her hip. Startled and suddenly afraid Sakura pushed from him, her knees shaky beneath her. "No... no let go."

"Back off." Sasuke snapped, giving him a shove that sent the unsteady man sprawling to the floor.

Two of the others laughed even as he cursed Sasuke breathlessly, trying to gather his feet under himself again. Holding Sakura up uneasily Sasuke looked around, counting heads.

 _Shit... Shit shit..._

The street was lined with bars, the warm lights from inside each of the buildings making the sidewalks glow softly, inebriated people giggled and cackled, some stopped to watch the ensuing tussle with interest.

Above them the glow of the bar sign flickered, bright orange and red and then off, like a monstrous firefly in the darkness.

"First he's all no, then he's all _mine._ " Another of the drunks spat at the sidewak and gave Sasuke a little shove that made him stumble with Sakura's nearly dead weight on his arm. "Can't have it both ways pal."

"I need to hail you a cab." Sasuke muttered, glancing over his shoulder for the bright yellow that would get them out of there only to freeze.

A few steps away stood Hinata, holding a grocery bag on one arm and Haku's hand in another, eyes wide and staring at him in the pulsing light of the neon sign.

"...Sasuke?"

 _Oh God._

"Oh shit." The first drunk laughed, his red face straining with his chuckles as he slowly meandered the couple steps towards Hinata who pulled Haku behind her sharply, her eyes ripping from Sasuke to the approaching threat with unease.

"There's the wife!" One of his friends shouted. "And the girlfriend- damn you're screwed."

"I wouldn't mind taking your place though." The first man muttered darkly, moving to grab Hinata roughly around the waist, forcing her hips up against him.

"No! Stop it! Let go!" Her voice was breathless and she gasped as he shook her a little to loosen Haku off her arm.

The boy's scream as he landed on the cement was like a gun shot at the beginning of a race.

Lowering Sakura roughly to the pavement he ate the space between himself and Hinata in two steps, seeing nothing but the bright red inebriated skin of the man with his hands on her body as he took hold of his shoulder, pulled back his arm and punched him hard in the face.

Hinata screamed as they hit the floor, Sasuke climbing roughly on top of the stunned man and landing another and another blow, the grunts and crunch of his fist impacting with the soft tissue of the man's face making Haku gasp.

"Sasuke!" Hinata scrambled on the pavement where she had fallen as the first man was torn from her by Sasuke's violence, crawling over to Haku and dragging him into her arms, stumbling onto the road for a second as more men suddenly threw themselves into the fray.

"Sasuke!"

 _I can't see him! I can't see him!_

Haku's sobs rang in her ears as people gathered to watch the fight, crying out to each other.

The sound of a siren in the distance made her jump and she held on to Haku more tightly.

"Sasuke!"

But the crowd closed in like the ocean, moving and swirling and she stumbled until her back was pressed to one of the cars on the street and Haku screamed at the pressure of bodies bumping into them roughly.

"Oka-san! Oka-san!"

Breathless Hinata slid across the car with her back to it and stumbled away from the growing crowd, pulling her phone out of her pocket as she began to run to the train station.

 _Oh God, Oh God..._

The sirens were screaming now and as she glanced over her shoulder she could see the cop car arriving in a flurry or red and blue lights.

 _"Hey, Hina-chan, what's up?"_ Kiba's voice in her ear paused at the sound of her ragged breathing. _"Hinata?"_

"Kiba...Kiba, I...I... Sasuke I bumped into him- there was a fight at a bar... oh my god, I can't see him... Kiba help me..." her sobs started then and shaking she stumbled down the steps to the train platform, nearly tripping on the stairs in her haste.

 _"What?"_ Kiba's voice escalated in pitch, and the sound of his keys jingling echoed in the phone. _"Where are you? Is he okay?"_

"There's cops, I can't see him... I ...I had to leave..." and the sobs continued as she stood at the platform, watching as the train approached, mercifully right on time.

 _"Come home now. What stop were you at? I'll go there right now, Tamaki is here. Jesus Christ Sasuke. Goddamnit."_

Hinata listened to his voice and the slam of a door followed by his fast paced breath as he began to run down the street towards the train station.

 _"Are you and Haku okay?"_

Hinata stumbled onto the train as the doors opened and she watched with agony as they closed, her eyes trained on the stairs leading up to the street where she could still see the flashing of the sirens on the cement steps.

"...I don't know..."

* * *

 _ ***insert various irritated noises here***_

 _ **-inky**_


	21. Chapter 21

_**You know how I said I hated the last chapter. I take it back. Hate was a strong word. Hate is like agonizing all night and all day and then all night again and reading the same shitty 30 000 words for the chapter and literally finding only 4500 that are even remotely understandable. That's hate.  
**  
_

 _ **That's what THIS chapter is. UGH. I need to just get beyond this thing because the chapter after this is when things explode and I think I may lose it if I don't move forward. I know the quality of this thing, so please go ahead and review- point out the flaws- likelihood I'm already agonizing over it.  
**_

 _ **Sorry guys, I gotta get past this chapter :(**_

 _ **Much Sorries**_

 _ **Inky**_

* * *

 _He woke to the sound of a IV dripping and lights that were entirely too bright on his face. Sighing he closed his eyes again and draped an arm over his eyelids, wistfully wishing for sleep to come again._

 _The drip drip sounded like an ocean being dropped over and over, the splash atomic in it's thunder and he winced realizing his head was aching._

 _At his movement a nurse appeared, he could see the lavender colored scrubs through his fingers and felt her hands gently moving over his head._

 _"Uchiha-san, can you hear me?"_

 _"Hn."_

 _Slowly his arm was lowered and at the sight of his wincing face the light was turned off above him and a lamp was switched on to his right._

 _"Uchiha-san, how are you feeling? Is your head hurting?"_

 _He breathed in slowly, trying to dispel the nausea that was wrecking his insides as he was propped up onto pillows._

 _His eyes flickered over his surroundings and he pondered briefly what had got him, and how hard. The throbbing in his head was not ebbing but rather growing in intensity and as the nurse peered at him he stared. Her eyes were wide and gray and as she cocked her head to the right mildly at him in concern he remembered._

 _He remembered Hinata's gaze over the street pavement, her skin lighting up orange and red from the neon lights above the bar and the acid that ate at him when another man touched her and pulled her to him roughly, sending Haku's little body tumbling to the floor._

 _A rushing of blood suddenly overwhelmed his ears and he took an unsteady breath, moving to stand._

 _"No... No, Uchiha-san you have to lay back down, you have a concussion and you may be dizzy."_

 _It was an understatement, the moment his feet touched the ground he felt his stomach lurch and he gasped, straining against the vomit._

 _I have to find her, I have to find them._

 _"Your friend is here, I'll let him in, okay? The doctor will be coming by to see you very soon, but until then I need you to sit or lay down. We need to do a few more tests to make sure you're okay but then you're free to go." Her words washed over him and he straightened slightly. "Someone is here?"_

 _"Yes, I'll let him in. Please make sure not to touch at your face, there are a few stitches on your cheek." And with a last gentle touch to his arm she moved out of the room, pulling the curtain around the bed mildly before disappearing._

 _Listening to his heart beat he pressed his hands to his face._

 _I don't know what happened._

 _The realization sat heavily in his stomach, festering there._

 _I don't know if they're okay._

 _The door opening and closing made him look up even as the room shifted dangerously on invisible axles and Kiba peered around the curtain, face gray._

 _"You look like shit." He muttered, pulling the fabric back with a dull hiss of the rings on the curtain rod._

 _"What happened? Where are Hinata and Haku."_

 _"Home. You were out for a few hours." He stood there with his hands in the pockets of his jeans, studying him. The unhealthy shade of his skin made Sasuke regard him confusedly. "Are you okay?"_

 _It was probably the first time that Sasuke had ever asked him that, and the irony of having his friend inquire about his health for the first time while wearing a hospital gown made Kiba grin wolfishly without amusement._

 _"You scared the shit out of me today."_

 _"You look green."_

 _"I may have thrown up a little. It got bad out there..." Smirking Kiba raised his shirt to show him a bruise spreading across his ribs that made Sasuke start. "Had to get your ass out of there. It got a little out of hand as people tried to help by breaking it up- but with everyone a little bit more on the drunk side it went south. Good intentions be damned." He shifted and looked out the tiny window on the door._

 _"Lucky for you there were witnesses to say that you were assaulted. One of them being Haruno Sakura."_

 _At her name Sasuke did throw up, grabbing a bucket that he hoped had been placed by his bedside for that very purpose. Kiba looked away, nose wrinkled as he walked over to the sink by the counter and poured him a cup of water._

 _"What the fuck were you doing?"_

 _"Are Hinata and Haku okay?"_

 _"I didn't see them long but she's been calling me nearly every ten minutes since I passed them at the train station. She looked shaken up. Care to enlighten me on how the fuck Haruno Sakura, Hinata, Haku and you ended up in a bar fight? I'm really failing to follow the picture here."_

 _Sasuke sat with his eyes closed and his head in his palms, feeling against the skin of his hand the handful of stitches on his cheek bone tugging irritably._

 _"I don't know what she was doing there, it's not on her route to anywhere."_

 _"The trains were down westward." Kiba muttered, watching him with a frown. "So you know her route so you can see Sakura without bumping into her, is that it?"_

 _"Fuck you, Kiba. You know that's not it."_

 _"Well?"_

 _"Sakura has been a nuisance for weeks, since April. I went to tell her, again to leave me alone, and to drag her ass home, she was at the bar getting wasted." He sighed. "I cannot take a right step with this girl."_

 _"Can't seem to stay away from her either."_

 _Dragging in a lungful of air Sasuke looked at him steadily, clenching his jaw at his serious non joking tone. "Kiba. She's stalking me. I.." He stopped and looked around. "Is she in the hospital? You said she was a witness?"_

 _"The cops spoke to her at the scene, she defended you the whole time. I am not a huge fan though so like a sane person I didn't talk to her, look at her or generally acknowledge her existence."_

 _"I'm taking notes, anything else you'd like me learn from you right now."_

 _"If you weren't so completely messed this minute I'd hit you again." Kiba's brown eyes furrowed, the seriousness in his tone matching the clench of his fist._

 _Letting his head hang Sasuke let out one short dark chuckle. "Listen, I'm touched that you're here and all but could you just get out?"_

 _"Hinata wants to talk to you, your phone is over there." He muttered, nodding towards the counter where his jacket and keys were also._

 _"No. I'm not talking to her."_

 _"Not this shit again." Kiba growled, taking a step forward and in his condition Sasuke considered the possibility that he could do some actual damage._

 _"Kiba... I was at a bar, with Sakura... I got into a fight in front of her and Haku...I...I couldn't protect them, Haku's face..." he stopped, remembering again the cry from the child's mouth as he slammed onto the pavement. "I'm the last thing they need around, look what I do...when I'm_ _ **trying**_ _to do the right thing."_

 _His friend shook his head. "Sasuke, you weren't drinking, you were there trying to help someone- albeit a stupid move, but-"_

 _"You were not there. You didn't hear Haku, you didn't see Hinata get grabbed."_

 _"Someone grabbed her?" The tone in Kiba's voice signaled the possibility of murder and Sasuke felt a tiny insignificant bit better._

 _"I need to think about this." He muttered. "I...I don't think I'm ready for it."_

 _"You're never going to be, it's one of those things you just kinda do."_

 _"No..." Sasuke disagreed._

 _The aggravation was an actual taste in the air as Kiba threw his hands up. "I give up, I actually do." He turned, heading back towards the door. "You're going to regret this shit for the rest of your life, I promise. And I hope, I seriously hope that something happens to shake you out of that terror. I've never once considered you a fucking coward, Sasuke Uchiha, but right now I think even your devoted Naruto would have been ashamed of you."_

 _"Get the fuck out." Sasuke snapped, and as the door closed the smash of the cup he had had in his hand crashed through the room, glass and water spraying everywhere as Kiba disappeared._

 _In the silence Sasuke panted, trying to steady himself even as the room swayed, and breaking the stillness a buzz echoed. His eyes lingered on the phone glowing beneath the metal of his keys and he sighed, watching as it rang, and rang and rang until whoever it was got tired of it ringing and hung up._

 _Eventually everyone grows tired._

* * *

She paced most of the night and called over and over, but he never picked up. Haku refused to be put down. In her arms like a dead weight he slept, his nose pressed into her neck the way that Naruto used to, breathing her in.

 _"Breathing home in."_ He would always grin at her then, and then try to burrow into the crook of her neck making her laugh, scratching her with the small bits of scruff on his chin.

But she wasn't laughing now.

Kiba showed up after midnight, looking sick and tired but mostly angry. Puzzled Hinata tried to soothe him but all he wanted to do was go home. Tamaki followed him out the door, her hands on him making Hinata start.

And Sasuke refused to pick up the phone.

 _"Stop calling that brat."_ Kiba's voice had been irritated. _"Give him a couple days. He needs to put the marbles they knocked out back in."_

She had ignored his comment, and her phone dialed again, going straight to voicemail she had already filled.

 _"Sasuke this is Hinata... are you okay, Haku and I are so worried. He won't go to bed until he hears you're all right. Please call me."_

And waking up with a crink in her neck the next morning from sleeping twisted around Haku on her bed she sighed, and grabbed her phone right away, looking for messages.

One solitary text blinked at her from her mailbox.

 _ **I'm sorry that you and Haku had to see what happened tonight. I need to think, Hinata. I need some space.**_

She stared, a fist twisting in her gut. Think about what? Her fingers typed out messages, first one, and then deleted before sent, then another, deleted again. She would press the dial button and hang up instantly until she finally threw the phone off her bed, burying her face in her hands.

What are you thinking about? What?

Muttering to herself as she made the kids breakfast Haku jumped at her softly hissed "What?" as she thought.

"Nothing, Oka-san." He blinked, confused.

"Sorry, Haku-kun." Hinata started. "I was just talking to myself." Gently she passed him his plate, and Haku sighed, taking the dish in his hands.

In the family room Sora sat on her squishy chair, bouncing along to a song from the TV.

"Oka-san." Haku whispered, not looking up from his food. "Is...Uncle Sasuke dead too?"

Mouth opening into a shocked circle Hinata knelt down, grasping his shoulders. "Haku! No...honey, Uncle Sasuke is just fine."

I hope. I pray.

Haku's blue eyes shimmered like the ocean before a brilliant dawn, the salty liquid in his eyes reflecting the light of the summer day outside their window.

"Those bad guys were hitting, and pushing and I never saw him again and you're sad and I..." he hiccuped and like a cork was dislodged the tears started pouring. Gasping Hinata pulled his plate from his hands, dragging him into a hug roughly, her lips pressed firmly to his cheek.

"No, Haku, no...Uncle Sasuke is okay, I promise."

"I want...I want to see him." The sobs were shaking the small frame of the child as he wept, his grip on his mom painful. "He said...he said we would look at the boats again, just me and him one day without Sora cuz she gets bored and grumpy..."

"He's going to."

"I was really scared."

Sighing Hinata picked him up, hugging him tightly to her body as she rested him on the kitchen counter, noticing for the first time that his arms could wrap easily around her completely, and that the once round baby belly was flat and smooth as his body stretched.

Her baby wasn't a baby anymore, this was a little boy.

"Just give him time, Haku-kun, okay? I'm sure he will take you to see the boats soon."

Haku sniffed softly into her shoulder, holding on to her tightly, and his weak little voice whispered an "Okay," that seemed about as sure as his mother's gambled assurances.

* * *

 _...Even when I think about you now I still see that scrawny teenage boy. I know you're probably taller and fatter because let's face it one of us HAD to get uglier as we got older and since I'm still all that and a bag of chips I assume you're looking less pompous..._

 _...I wish you would answer me so you could tell me how we made that old swing work on the weeping willow behind the Hyuuga property, I keep fucking it up when I try to make one work on the tree in our yard and Haku is starting to lose faith in me, save my parenthood, teme!_

 _...the other day when I was was sorting through boxes of stuff in the closet I found a note from you. Some stupid thing about meeting me later at Shikamaru's place, but it had the Uchiha fan on it and I remember thinking about how your brother had told you to start a restaurant and that you'd use the fan as the logo, remember? I still miss stealing the leftovers out of your locker at school. Yeah, just so you know. That was me. Not Choji..._

 _...Haku has a favorite story about us, I guess it's his favorite because it involves us both getting chased by Officer Asuma, who gives him candy whenever he bumps into him while he's out and about with Hinata. He cracks up when I tell him about us on our bikes trying to get the hell out of the library so we wouldn't get told off for building that fort with the encyclopedia Britannica section. I know you got in trouble for that even though you were the only one reading but it's probably one of the things I remember about you the most clearly. Your look when Asuma pointed at you from the fiction aisle like you were a common criminal. Priceless. You know what though, I still am shocked at just how LOUD the books falling over sounded. Don't tell anyone but I still think sometimes about doing it again, except for you're not here, so I'll wait. I'll get you pinned for it again..._

 _...Sora has begun walking and talking and I feel sick when I see her do it. She's beautiful now, with her fat baby belly and her cankles and her fat cheeks that jiggle when I vibrate her on my knee. I'm looking at her and all I see is terror, Sasuke. Being a dad is learning to always be afraid..._

 _...chick flicks talk about these passionate feelings, you know? I sometimes watch them with Hinata and I'm so glad that she sits there with me and scoffs at some of the stuff. I kind of enjoy watching them just to watch her get agitated. This one movie we were watching the girl can't make up her mind what she wants and she could not have been more frustrated. Making up her mind is the easy part for her, she knows what she wants but she won't take it unless the person it involves is willing. I was an idiot. If I had known how she felt about me in kindgergarden we would have been together since then and you me and my Hina would have been a trio..._

 _...I had a fight with her today. We never fight, so I'm feeling off. I suppose that's why I'm writing. We fought about some shit I did in front of Haku. I should have known not to, but this fatherhood thing...it's kicking my ass Sasuke. I'm scared to talk sometimes because I start and I look over and Haku has his eyes trained on me. Everything I ever do from now on is recorded and when I see him do it as an adult will I wince or will I be proud? I called Neji an ass in front of him, and Haku laughed. Don't you laugh too, I know you probably are, but seriously I got in trouble from Hinata, she loves that man, I don't get it, but she does..._

 _...sometimes I try to think about what I want for the kids, and the truth is all these stupid parenting magazines and books are talking about kids feeling secure and happy and bored and I'm just like- you don't have to be happy all the time, I mean shit, we were hardly ever happy, were we? I don't remember being sad, exactly but we were up to something, we had a purpose, you and I, and that was what I realized I want for them, a purpose. And then I realize that I, bakamono Naruto is thinking about the destiny of two little people's lifes, and I get sick. It's fear, Sasuke. Loving is fear..._

The letters were once more scattered over everything. Trailing down the hall as he finished a page and tossed it over his shoulder, turning to the next one. Somehow it felt good, like self mutilation hearing Naruto think through his actions with his kids as a good ruler with which to hit himself. By comparison he moved through his life not thinking, acting on impulse, beating people's faces in while a child watched, for example.

With each letter Sasuke felt more and more firmly how not right for the job he was. Sure he could probably pin Hinata to the bed and make her cry out, it would certainly alleviate a lot of tension he was carrying around, but when the deed was over, when he was laying there thinking about what came next then what?

Words appeared in his mind, from half a dozen past letters, blurring and mixing and getting confused, although the meaning in each comment from Naruto had been the same.

 _...You were always a smart son of a bitch..._

 _...I never understood how you could think three steps ahead, I just always went for it..._

 _...Can't imagine you being surprised by something, teme, but this being a husband and father thing, it just keeps surprising me..._

Sighing Sasuke pressed his fingers into the space between his brows. In the dark of the night with only the moon to light his room everything had a soft blue haze that blurred the lines between objects. Watching through his eye lashes he sighed when his cell phone lit up with another text message. It had been his birthday and between Kiba and Sakura the messages had been pouring in. Kiba's warning to show up for the dinner had gone unheeded.

Sakura's apologies and concern unanswered.

Only _she_ did not text him. Call him or harass him and although he kept telling himself that was good, that meant that perhaps she even understood he found himself watching the phone, instead of sleeping, and at the same time arguing with himself about the gin bottle in his cupboard that had survived so long.

The messages slowed and eventually stopped highlighting the darkness of his room and left the moon to her own devices, her slanted half light sneaking through the half closed curtains to whisper through his covers as he watched her make her long journey through the sky.

He was sure there would be no more, and so his eyes began to grow heavy even as he worried about the possibility of nightmares.

And then the phone began to shine again, a quiet white eye blinking at him in the dark.

It had been still for hours and with his eyes half blind with sleep Sasuke squinted at it, wincing at the time.

1 am.

Moving to pick up he hesitated, surprise lighting his face when he saw her name.

"...Hinata."

His hand moved on it's own, the ringing ending with a abrupt half note of his ringtone. Her silence descended on the line and he breathed, his fingers tightening around the covers of his bed until his joints hurt.

 _"...you did not come."_

"...I'm sorry."

 _"Don't lie."_

"I need to think. I need some space."

 _"From us?"_

He was quiet, and as he slowly sat up he sighed, watching the cars moving slowly through the street, setting their beams of light shooting through his darkness.

Like Hinata. Like the kids.

"I don't know."

 _"...Haku thought you died."_

She didn't sound the same. Her words were clear, there was no hesitation, the enunciation clear and precise, her tone flat.

"Oh Haku." He breathed, and pressed a hand to his forehead.

 _"Now he is worried I lied about you being okay because you did not come."_

And finally it hit him, the words she was pronouncing so carefully were picked out like weapons in an armory. Her voice was sharp as steel and closing his eyes again he sighed.

"You're angry."

 _"...I told you... I told you that I could hate you."_

A sharp intake of breath and he was standing, walking to the window as though she would be on the other side.

"Hinata."

 _"Haku keeps talking about wanting to go home. He keeps asking if Uncle Neji doesn't like him either, if that's why we don't see him."_

Slowly Sasuke slid down the wall, his breath coming painfully into his lungs.

 _What am I doing?_

"I'm sorry."

 _"You promised me, you said... you said you would be here."_

"I'm not sure...I want to, but I-"

 _"Stop."_ Her voice was shaking and he was unsure if it was tears or fury hiding in the tremble.

 _"Haku expected to see you here, he wanted us to all go to the harbor but I don't know where it is, only you do."_

Burying his face further into his hands Sasuke breathed in.

 _ **..I look over and Haku has his eyes trained on me. Everything I ever do from now on is recorded...**_

The thing he had feared, it happened anyway.

 _"I have to go."_

"Hinata, wait."

 _"Goodbye."_

And she was gone, as quickly as she had arrived.

* * *

He watched his mother pace on the porch with the sliding door open. She had been crying, and her tears always had a way of waking him up.

His daddy had told him, that sometimes tears were loud, like Sora's when she landed on her knee and there was blood.

There was also quiet tears, with smiles that meant there was joy and happiness.

And then there were other tears. Silent tears, that only special ears can hear. Some people can learn to hear these tears, and his daddy had learned. So Haku had wanted to learn too.

She wept after putting him to bed, her head in her arms and her hair in a pool on the smooth wood of the table. Through the crack in the door he watched her. Her shoulders shook, like she was trembling, or laughing, but there was no sound.

Silent tears.

The birthday cake he had helped her bake was still sitting on the counter with the candles on even though they had cut it, and Haku had become upset. He had wanted Uncle Sasuke to see it, and now he wouldn't be able to, it was ruined by the slice.

No one had wanted to eat it after he began to cry, and he had felt sad that he had ruined cake for everyone.

Thinking about this made him tired and so he fell asleep on the carpet, with one eye peering through the door at his mother's shaking shoulders and her silent tears.

But he woke when a soft cool breeze tickled his eyelid.

Across the family room the table was empty of his mother's shape, and the lights were turned out, save for one hardly used. On the porch a soft gold luminosity expanded, an orb of yellow light and he sat up, wiping sleep from his face at the sight of his mother standing facing outwards to the sky, her phone to her ear, her words tumbling.

He had not heard her sound this way for a long time.

"...Now he is worried I lied to him when I said you were okay because you did not come."

Standing up he listened, watching as she leaned on the porch railing, her hand in her hair, her shoulders shaking.

Uncle Sasuke? The question lingered in his mind, and he wanted to go out there to ask if he could hear him on the phone. But something held him back, watching.

"...I told you... I told you that I could hate you."

"You promised me, you said... you said you would be here."

Slowly Haku sat, his blue eye bright and frightened as he watched.

 _Oka-san hates Uncle Sasuke..._

Feeling something hurt inside him Haku winced, curling up on the ground with his arms wrapped around his knees, listening to her words with sadness trailing down his cheeks.

Who would be his new daddy now?

 _I miss home..._

"Haku expected to see you here, he wanted us to all go to the harbor but I don't know where it is, only you do."

Feeling heavy the little body picked itself up, crawled back into the covers of his bed, laying his head back onto the surface of his soft pillow.

 _I want to go home._

And an image of a giant ship ripping through the water broke in his mind, of it's immense size, it's deafening horn, it's direction home.

"Home."

And quietly he got back out from under the covers, just as his mother softly closed her bedroom door and fell into her bed with her shoulders shaking.

* * *

 ** _I am SO sick of this chapter. SO sick._**

 ** _I may also be in an awful mood because (in order of awful) my kids both have a stomach bug, my nosering fell out in the shower and down the drain, I now have a stomach bug too._**

 ** _leave me some love, ne? I need it :(_**

 ** _-Inky_**


	22. Chapter 22

**_I'm a little shy about this chapter._**

 ** _So I won't really say anything_**

 ** _Much love,_**

 ** _Inky_**

* * *

She woke with a feeling of pressure already building in her chest.

Confusedly her eyes blinked through the dry salt of past tears and she listened, wondering what had reached into the depths of her sleep to drag her back so soon into her reality. In the window she could see the white of the distant stars melding with the navy blue of a night sky.

Breathing in deep she let her hand slide slowly over the covers of her bed, feeling the fibers, trying to calm the anxiety growing in her chest.

A frown was beginning to slide over her face and feeling the tension starting to tighten the muscles of her back and shoulders she lay on her side, focused on her breathing. Her hair was a spill of dark oil against her pillows and she listened intently again, wondering if maybe the kids were awake and the sound of them had woken her.

Beside her on the pillow her phone lay silent and dark. Biting her lip she pressed on it's face and blinked at the time. She had only been sleeping for an hour and a half.

Letting the light on the device slowly die and shut down she blinked in the renewed black of her room, rubbing at the leftover tears that had dried on her cheeks.

But as the time ticked by her anxiety grew, her toes curling and her fingers moving to scratch itches across her arms and hands until she sat up.

Slowly she pushed herself to her feet, feeling the coolness of the ground on her skin as she padded slowly to the kitchen, eyes adjusting to the dark with some difficulty before grabbing a cup of water and filling it at the sink, leaning against the counter and surveying the stillness of her tiny apartment with a sigh.

Surprised she stopped with the glass halfway to her lips. Haku and Sora's bedroom door was open. Puzzled she wandered over to the room, wondering if perhaps Haku had needed to use the bathroom. The last few days had been hard on him and she had started to notice that his sleep was broken up by bouts of restlessness. His desire to go home had not been voiced for months and it made her heart hurt to think that he was suddenly homesick for a place they could simply not go back to.

Curiously she stuck her head in and peered at Sora, who as per usual had splayed all her limbs in a star position on her bed, having removed her nighty and sleeping only in a diaper, her little chest rising and falling in time with the whistles from her nose.

Turning her eyes to Haku's bed Hinata paused. Frowning she moved forward, tugging on the blankets and removing the piles, her heart starting a staccato snap beat in her chest as she ruffled through the pillows and covers, cold in her hands where they should have been warmed by his soft body.

"Haku?" Frowning she turned, headed out the door and down the hall, opening the bathroom and finding it empty and dark she stared.

 _No._

There was blood rushing in her ears, and a high pitched sound she couldn't name was picking up strength as she rushed back to the bedroom, splashing water from her cup everywhere as she stumbled into the room, ripping the bedclothes off the bed with shaking hands.

The glass slipped from her hand, smashing and sending water and sharp shards scattering all over the floor.

On the bed on the other side of the room Sora shifted and whimpered in her sleep even as her mother began to gasp, turning around to run back into the family room, ripping open the closet, back to the bathroom to the shower.

"Haku!"

Staring at the shower she breathed in, slow and steady, one hand on her stomach even as her lungs filled and emptied, the rising bile and vomit strangling her as she turned and looked at the front door, and the crack that failed to divide her from the world outside.

The hiss of car tires passing by the house slipped through the small inch of space and slowly, with limbs that felt full of stones and pain she pushed the door open, stepping out into the dimly lit hall and the cool summer wind that whispered incessantly through the leafs of the nearby trees.

"Haku?" It was a whisper. He wasn't there and she knew it. She had known it when she woke up, it had sat, like a demon thing on her chest, choking her, urging her from sleep to wakefulness.

"Haku?" A whimper, a broken sob.

"Haku!"

The ringing was so loud she couldn't hear herself screaming over and over, but she was glad when her neighbors appeared, their anxious worried faces trying to decipher what she was saying through her shrieks, a woman's hands holding her as she began to crumble to the floor.

Hopefully they would be able to help her, someone needed to help her. She was the worst mother in the world... she needed help.

She had lost her baby.

* * *

He had decided he wasn't going to sleep that night. The feeling that something had been ripped apart was sitting on his shoulders, suffocating him whenever he lay down to close his eyes, and the bottle of gin kept leering from the cupboard, beckoning.

It wouldn't matter if he was suffocating if he had drowned himself first in the liquor.

Instead of staring at the cupboard with his chest tightening he had got up, gathered clothes out of the baskets in his closet and put them on slowly. Everything about his body still ached. He wanted to say it was from the fight, the feel of fists and kicks and then pressure as the tussle became a mob but the truth was that his DNA was in rejection of him.

He was in rejection of himself, allergic to the blood that pumped through his veins.

Moving slowly he meandered through the street, wandering towards the train station with no plans to reach any particular destination. The sounds of the city never seemed to stop but in the twilight before the sun rose it always seemed to get just quiet enough that he could hear himself think.

 _...I fucked up Naruto..._

Swallowing hard he entered the train, sat on one of the chairs in the emptiness and listened to the hustle and bustle of the mechanics as he drifted through the city, watching the brightness of the lights flicker in the tunnels.

 _I don't know how you did it._

Watching the brightness of the city as they passed high above the roads on an overpass he breathed in. The navy of the sky, twirling with stars was only rivaled by the vastness of the city below, sprawling in it's own darkness, shining with it's own artificial stars. The two seemed to wage war against each other, and he studied them, entranced.

He had lived here for years and not really noticed anything. Not the way that people seemed to genuinely care about politeness or that the children seemed to be rather happy, or that he had never bothered to worry about leaving his bag sitting on the train beside him open. It was a good place to live, a good place to have a family. Hinata, as per usual had picked the safest place. She could have likely gone anywhere, but she ended up here, of all places.

With him.

 _Day in and day out being this afraid, having their eyes on you. How did you do it?_

Hinata's smile flickered through his mind, the determined set of her jaw as she pulled him into an embrace at the sight of his tears, the way her fingers seemed capable of healing when they slid over her children's skin and her soft voice explained they were okay.

 _...that's how, isn't it?_

A buzz in his pocket made him pause, he frowned at himself, his reflection in the dark window of the train staring back for a split second before he pulled out his phone, staring at the screen.

The frown deepened and slowly he picked up, pressing the phone to his ear.

"Kiba?"

 _"You need to come down to Hinata's apartment."_

He had never heard his voice this way. There was no chiding, no half joke, not even exasperation. Cold, flat and shaky he breathed in and Sasuke listened to the tremble in the air as he let it out.

"What's wrong?"

 _"...The cops are here. I called Tamaki, she's taking Sora to her house for now. They... Haku's disappeared."_

Sasuke stood, holding on to the train pole beside him for balance, and not because of the steady sway of the train. "What...what did you just say?"

 _"Haku."_ Kiba's voice trembled again, and suddenly Sasuke could hear the chatter of voices in the background, the official tone of people at work and in a hurry.

 _"He either walked out of the apartment, or he was taken out of the apartment... we can't find him, Sasuke."_

 _I get how you did it now, Naruto._

His heart had stopped, it wasn't beating. He was heading back towards the doors of the train and listening to Kiba's words and hearing none of them. The echo of what he had just said kept replaying, his eyes washing over the city he had just been admiring with a horror that was making a taste like metal spread over his tongue, gagging him.

Out there. He was out there.

There was no choice about being afraid. If you were a father, then you feared, like being alive and having a heart beat.

And he was so afraid.

* * *

It was all happening so fast. The flashes of the cameras, the glare of the flashlights, and someone's hand always on her elbow, guiding her.

Questions were being asked, she stuttered, blurring her English and Japanese in her panic, wincing as the police ripped apart Haku's room, her hands shaking.

Sora clung first to her neck like a heavy tear stained necklace until Kiba appeared at the door, his face white as a sheet and Tamaki behind him, wide eyed, her hair mussed from running out the door without brushing.

Falling into Kiba's arms Hinata breathed in deep, trying to drag oxygen into lungs that were refusing to cooperate. Why weren't they helping? Couldn't anyone see she was suffocating?

He was asking her questions. She stared at him, her gray eyes searching, unable to comprehend. So many questions.

But she needed an answer, not questions. She needed an answer.

Where's Haku? Where is he?

Someone had her elbow again and she was being guided to the door, the flashing of the lights began, and at first she thought they were all flashlights to help in the search until she winced through the blinding explosions and realized some were cameras.

A lot of them in fact.

Someone had alerted the media.

The sky still looked navy blue. She stared at it and willed it to stay that way. It's navy sheen had a lighter coat to it than it had earlier when she had screamed in her hallway for her son. Which meant time was passing, and he was not safe in his bed. Feeling her knees wobble she stumbled on the steps where a police officer was trying to lead her to a vehicle.

His voice echoed through the voices, people whispering standing back and watching, the police talking rapidly to each other, the news people asking questions. More questions.

"Hinata!"

Eyes lifting she searched through the crowd, her gaze flickering.

"Hinata!"

Seeing him suddenly through the bodies of the crowd she hesitated, and then pulled her arm from the cop's grip.

"Hyuuga-san."

Seeing the recognition on her face one of the police officers trying to push the onlookers back allowed him through and without breaking stride his hands were on her face, they held her cheeks delicately, staring into her.

His eyes were the right color. Dark, which meant it was night, which meant she could still wake up from this, to a bright sunshiny morning and her son would still be there, sleeping in his bed. She stared at his eyes, feasting on the possibility of a nightmare. "Hinata."

"I lost him." Her voice was a void, it would consume her completely that tone, that abyss.

"Hinata breathe. Breathe. How long?"

"Three, maybe four hours."

"What is he wearing?"

"He took his jacket and boots."

"Hyuuga-san." The police officer pulled gently on her arm. "We need to get you to our precinct, please, ma'am. There are many questions we need to ask. "

"I know." Hinata's cheeks were drenching with tears again, although she hardly looked like she was crying, her face pale, her body still, as though asleep standing up. Roughly her arms gripped Sasuke's hard.

"He said he wanted to see the boats." She whimpered. "I already told them but they don't think he would make it that far."

"The harbor." Sasuke whispered, eyes widening. "He said he wanted to go home."

Confusion flitted over her face and before she knew what was happening the police officer was guiding her away again, pulling more firmly on her arm to get her into the waiting police cruiser.

"Find him." Hinata gasped, rubbing at her tears ineffectually. "Please, find him."

And as they closed the door to the vehicle Sasuke turned, seeing Kiba's tired but alert gaze on him from the top of the stairs. "Where are we going?"

* * *

They sat her down in an uncomfortable chair in an uncomfortable room. She shook as they settled in front of her, their suits and ties gleaming in the light.

More questions.

"Has this ever occurred with your child before?"

"Where is his father?"

"When did you notice the child missing?"

"Is there a family history of mental illness, Hyuuga-san?"

"Who is the next of kin?"

Breathing slowly, answering in one word answers, eyes searching the table and watching as her hands shook. She was shifting, the chair was making her bones ache and more than once she tried to stand up, a hand came down gently but firmly on her shoulder.

"We're not quite done yet, Hyuuga-san. Please sit down."

"There is a report from the hospital that Sora Hanabi Hyuuga was hospitalized briefly for a broken arm? That is your younger daughter, is that correct?"

Gray eyes lifted, staring into the soft impassive stare of the faces before her, surprise and then anger rolling into her gaze.

"She was at daycare when that happened."

"Have there been any other issues with the kids and their health in the past year?"

"No, they're both fine. Have you found Haku yet? I need to go help look for him."

The room felt too small suddenly as the people before her looked at each other for a moment and then back at her. "We just need to understand the situation futher, Hyuuga-san. We were talking about your move here, can you outline again where Haku and Sora's father is?"

Breathing hard Hinata clenched her hands, staring at the pale knuckles as she tightened like a coil.

"He's dead."

"And you say you're from where, again?"

Burying her hands in her hair. "How does this help you find my son? I don't understand. I'm telling you, if he went anywhere it's to the harbor- his... my friend took them there. Why aren't you searching for him?"

"There are people already searching the area around your home, Hyuuga-san. The likelihood of a five year old child managing to get all the way to the harbor are-"

Sobbing, her shoulders shaking Hinata pressed her hands against her eyes.

 _Please God, please... let him be okay._

* * *

Together they raced. They had never quite cared less what people thought. It was very early in the morning on a weekend so thankfully the crowds were not meandering through the train station as they scrambled on and vibrating with anxiety rode it to the view point that Sasuke had taken the kids to on the anniversary of their father's death.

"Please be there... Kami-sama, please let him be there." Kiba whispered softly, watching as the stations slammed by at a screaming speed that was still entirely too slow.

"It'll be nearly five hours by the time we get there." Sasuke whispered, his body shivering violently and not from the cold. Everything looked neon colored, edges were sharper, the feel of the steel of the subway pole in his hand was both slick and yet he thought he might be able to feel the molecules that made it linking together beneath his hand.

"He's going to be okay. It was a warm night." Kiba was convincing himself, and no one else mattered.

A painful cold dread lingered in Sasuke's stomach, it had grown in size like a malignant tumor the moment Hinata's soft words had left her mouth and entered his ear. "Does he swim?"

Wincing Kiba shook his head. "I don't know, Sasuke. I don't know."

And the station coming into view with the first dark indigo rays of light in the sky made their hearts skip a few beats before they slammed onto the terminal, shoving the few very early commuters out of their way as they ran up the stairs and onto the street.

"Left." Sasuke gasped as they appeared on the street level at a cross roads, the jingle of the walk sign sang in the mostly empty intersection and ignoring it completely the two men sprinted through and up the incline towards the tall trees in the distance of the view point.

"Be there." Sasuke whispered, "Please be there."

The purple in the sky was starting to turn distinctly pink at the point where the sun was starting to peek past the mountains.

The fresh bite of the first morning dew was making the air sting as it went into their lungs with each pant and together they scrambled up the stairs to the top of the view point, scanning each of the benches in the semi circle garden.

"Haku!" Kiba screamed, spinning. "Haku!"

Sasuke stayed still, eyes searching.

 _Naruto... Naruto help me._

Breathing deep he listened to his heart hammering, the ringing in his ears and the air fighting it's way in and out of his throat with each gasp.

"Haku!" Kiba's voice echoed in the stillness of the morning, sending birds scattering into the heavens from the trees.

Eyes lighting on the tall firs and Japanese pines Sasuke sucked in a jagged dagger of air, and scrambled over the railing dividing him from the near vertical incline of forest.

"What?" Kiba gasped, running after him. "What are you doing?"

"He's going to be in here." Sasuke snapped, taking two steps on the forest ground, loosing his footing and slamming shoulder first into a tree trunk. If the boy had tried to climb down, it had not gone well.

"Call an ambulance, Kiba!"

"Jesus." Kiba's voice gasped behind him and Sasuke could hear him speaking, giving their location to a dispatcher although his voice faded as Sasuke scampered down the hillside. The trees had adjusted in their upright world, their trunks shooting out and curving up towards the light, their roots spread through the soil and pine needles like mosaics on a wall, peering out and then back into the darkness of the nourishing ground.

"Haku!" Sasuke cried hoarsely, eyes searching the shadows between the trees, only the dull grayness of early morning light peered through the treeline and as he scampered down further he winced, feeling his fingers scrambling to hold on to the trees as he stumbled.

"Please be okay."

Panting heavily he stopped, scanning around himself slowly. The world in the forest was a painting on it's side, with the roughness of the red and black earth to his right at a screaming 65 degree angle with trees thick as a man's torso pulling from the earth, holding the hill back. The shadows lingered long and tall and with everything the same color Sasuke struggled in the dimness.

"Haku, please."

And he heard it, soft and weak and scared, the sound making an electric current shoot through his body.

"Mama! Daddy!"

Tripping he stumbled forward, caught himself on a branch and continued down the slippery mess of leaves and mud, listening.

"Haku!"

"Daddy! Daddy!"

"Keep yelling, chibi! Keep yelling!"

"Daddy!"

Breath in his throat he followed the sound, ignoring the way that the branches and roots grabbed at his clothes and the pine needles pierced his knees when he stumbled and scrambled back to his feet.

A sob sounded and startled he turned, seeing a tiny yellow rubber boot stuck out from beneath a thick twisted root. Heart in his mouth Sasuke slid the rest of the way down and peered over the ledge that the tree had created with it's twisting partner beside it, a little crevice below was where Haku lay, his blue pajamas almost entirely brown with mud and his leg shoved between the roots and the earth below.

Blood was smeared on his face from a gash on his forehead, and his lip was swollen. His blue eyes tried to focus on Sasuke for a minute from his position on the ground where he lay, his tears fresh on his cheeks.

"Daddy." It was a sigh, a tired defeated sigh.

Gasping Sasuke slid down beside him, pressing his lips to the boy's cheek. "Haku... my god, Haku, you're okay, chibi. You're okay, I got you."

Inspecting the leg beneath the tree branch Sasuke sighed with relief, pulling it gently free. It appeared to be fine, just tangled and as he gathered the boy in his arms he ripped off his jacket, throwing it over the little body, pressing him harder to his chest than he needed to.

"Haku, are you okay? What hurts, chibi?"

The tears he was shedding were of obvious relief and holding on to Sasuke's neck he shook his head, whimpering. "I want my mama, I want my mama."

Looking back up at the incline Sasuke clenched his jaw, swallowing. "Soon, Haku-kun. Your mama has a lot of people looking for you, they will be here soon."

Cutting off that thought the sound of Kiba's voice echoed down to them, warping as it smacked into the trees on the way down.

"Sasuke! Sasuke are you okay?"

"I found him!"

Panting, and mostly from the emotion threatening to choke him Sasuke peered up, and started at the feel of Haku's fingers on his face.

"You're crying." The boy whispered, and Sasuke nodded, allowing him a tired smile. "I'm glad to see you, buddy."

"I was praying." Haku whispered again, laying his head down on his shoulder.

"That was a good idea."

The sight of bodies appearing on the other side of the barrier at the top made Sasuke sigh with relief.

"I was praying for my daddy to come." Haku mumbled, making Sasuke turn to him sharply, searching his face. Haku blinked back at him with his teary blue eyes, cheek pressed firmly to his shoulder. "I'm glad you-"

And suddenly there were hands taking him from his arms, examining the slightly swollen twisted ankle, arranging him on a carrier on the back of one of the search and rescue men, and although he complied with their requests Haku's eyes never left Sasuke's.

* * *

The silence was thick in the room, only the monitor beeping softly made any noise and so when the door opened a crack Hinata sat up abruptly, looking as Sasuke peered at her from the door way.

Her eyes remained unmoving on his face as he settled on the chair beside her, Haku's softly whispering breath coming and going from the bed in front of them.

"You should go home to sleep, Hinata."

"No." Her reply was quiet, but left no room for argument. Eyes turning back to her baby's scratched cheek she swallowed. "I can't take my eyes off him right now."

Biting his lip Sasuke passed her a warm cup and nodding her thanks she held the tea in her cold hand, rubbing the tiredness away roughly.

"He told me..." she whispered, making him start and look at her. "...he told me that he wanted to go home on the boats. That you had told him sometimes they go home."

Closing his eyes Sasuke sighed. "I did."

Watching her already tired expression shift from wariness to just barely holding back tears he winced, reaching to hold her hand only to have her pull back, her chin wobbling as she breathed in deep. Ignoring the flutter of panic in his chest at her reaction Sasuke clenched his hands tightly, swallowing.

"I can stay with him, you should get some sleep though, Hinata."

"No. I... I want to stay and..." she hesitated. "I'm... I... I think I may be going back home."

Startled by her words Sasuke grew still, his dark eyes trained on her now wandering gaze, her inability to meet his eyes more nerve wrecking than her angry stare.

"What?"

"I can't... I can't do this by myself." She motioned to Haku gently. "I thought I could, I thought... I would do better on my own but, I'm... I'm failing my kids. Social Services were here asking me how this happened, and inquiring about Sora's broken arm." Her voice shook, and she glanced at him. "They asked me if I was alone, if there were family I could ask for help... and.. I...Haku... Haku he..." she dragged in air sharply. "He... He needs family, he needs... his Uncle and Aunts and grandparents. I just... I was selfish bringing them here."

"Stop." Sasuke gasped, frightened by all the thinking she had suddenly been doing. "You are not failing your kids, Hinata. Stop. Kids do things, this could have happened anywhere, with anyone."

"What do you know about failing?" Hinata snapped suddenly, her hiss a little louder despite the sleeping child. "You are not a parent, you don't know what it's like to wake up in the middle of the night and-"

"I may not know what it's like to not find him in his room but it doesn't diminish the fact that I would have died looking for him if I had not found him in those woods this morning." Sasuke's voice didn't shake, and his tone didn't change, but his grip on her arm was firm. "Don't pretend I wouldn't have suffered if he was still out there."

Abruptly Hinata stood, her eyes lowered. "I need to rest.. I need you to go please."

Sasuke stayed still, eyes focused on the wall by Haku's sleeping head. "Okay." Smoothly he stood.

With her body turned slightly away from him Sasuke breathed in sharply, taking her wrist before she could disagree, pulling her around.

"You've been doing a lot of running away this last year, Hinata. Don't make it a habit. Think about what you're doing." His eyes searched hers fervently, startling her pink mouth open slightly in surprise. "I know how hard it is to break that kind of habit."

Releasing her gently he turned and left, clenching and unclenching the hand that had touched her, unaware that inside the room Hinata dragged air into her lungs slowly, trying to steady her raging heart, unsure of the feeling wrestling in her chest. Deciding it was easier to call it anger she settled back down on her chair, unable to keep herself from burying her face in her hands and crying in the stillness of the room.

* * *

"You were right."

Kiba looked up at him like he had literally just sprouted an extra head from his shoulder. "Come again?"

Sitting in the crowded Cafe at the hospital Sasuke stared at the tv over the service counter with the news playing on it, Haku's grinning picture flashing over the screen made his stomach ache. Kids didn't really go missing in Japan, it wasn't often that such an incident occurred, and considering Hinata's treatment at the hands of the police this was being used as a point of political debate.

"I said, you were right." Sasuke muttered, knowing Kiba just needed to have that one moment of victory. Turning his eyes back to his friend he was surprised. There was no anger or glee there, just sadness.

"She told you about wanting to go home, huh?"

"How long has she been thinking about it?" His voice was hoarse and wincing he took a sip of the worst coffee he had ever had before, determined to finish it as penance for being an idiot.

Kiba shrugged, studying him intently. "I have a feeling it entered her head about the same time that she realized she loved you."

Startled Sasuke stopped, his cup halfway to his lips. His friend's brown eyes softened. "You still doubt it, but I sure don't."

"Why would she want to leave then if-"

"Well." Kiba shrugged and he stretched a little, wincing as the bruises on his ribs complained at the movement. "I think probably it had something to do with the fact that you were pulling back so hard with her." His eyes lingered on his. "You know, if Sakura had not been in the picture maybe...?"

Closing his eyes Sasuke put the cup down, unable to handle anymore of the bitterness that was coating his tongue.

"Tell her, Sasuke." Kiba leaned forward searching his face intently as Sasuke forced his eyes open, blinking at him. "Tell her. She's on the defensive so you might have to work a little harder than you would have before but..." he laughed a little without humor, settling back in his chair and waving a hand at him. "I don't think you would survive her leaving."

Sasuke looked worse than any hangover he had ever had. He had not slept all night, was dead on his feet practically save from the parts of his brain being powered by caffeine and that drained any color he normally had on his face, accenting the dark circles around his eyes and every scratch he earned on the way down the hillside to retrieve Haku in the trees.

"I am such a screw up, Kiba."

"She's great at fixing things." Kiba retorted quickly. "Not that she can fix you, but she can go after you fixing all the nonsense you do, you know. She's good that way."

"I don't need a maid." Sasuke muttered, lowering his cup to the table again. "I don't...I can't be a burden to her."

"Pfft." Kiba actually laughed then. "Look at you. Like actually do, you're battered and bruised, you haven't drank a single drop of liquor because she and her kids are around, and you've willingly sacrificed huge amounts of time to just be there, an extra pair of hands for when she needs them." He shook his head. "Let's be real here for a minute."

"You always make everything sound so simple." Sasuke muttered darkly, swirling the coffee in his cup, watching the black slide around in the white smoothly.

"It's a gift."

Eyes widening suddenly Kiba glanced at him. "I suggest a restraining order now, Sasuke. Want me to deal with her?"

Startled Sasuke turned, looking over the crowded cafe for the dreaded pink and finding it near the door, her eyes scanning.

"Fuck."

"I'll go talk to her." Kiba grumbled, but Sasuke grabbed his arm. "No, don't. Stay here."

"Uchiha, seriously?"

"Just wait." Sasuke snapped, eyes fixated on Sakura as she spotted them. Her hesitation surprised him but true to form she moved towards them, carrying her purse and a bouquet of tulips in one hand.

Weaving through the tables she looked as usual like something right out of a magazine. Her green eyes drew the attention of passersby without even trying, her hair in delicate curls around her face made her cheek bones seem even more pronounced and with her black skirt swinging with each step of her high heeled shoes she seemed out of place among the tired worried faces at the hospital.

Sighing irritably Kiba turned away, giving Sasuke a frown that was met with a _calm down_ expression.

"...Hi...Uchiha-san." Sakura murmured as she approached, making him blink in surprise at the name. "Haruno."

"I... I hope I am not bothering you..." her eyes flickered to Kiba who was scowling and trying not to make eye contact.

Instead of answering her Sasuke sighed. "What are you doing here?"

"I came to leave these for Hyuuga-sensei." She lifted the bouquet, making both the boys start and look at her in surprise. "I heard about her son on the news, and I... I thought she might like to have something pretty to look at. She must have been very scared." Her eyes flickered over him for a second and then blushing lowered to the ground.

"I... I figured you would be here also. I just... wanted to tell you that I'm sorry."

Kiba let out a sound that was either a laugh or a scoff or a choke, it was hard to tell. Eyes flickering to his friend and then back to Sakura whose face was pink as her hair Sasuke remained still, waiting.

"I... I won't call you, anymore." She swallowed thickly. "I..I'm sorry. I didn't.. um... I didn't realize that you and Hyuuga-san were... I realized at the bar." She looked down at her knees where the fabric of the skirt sat above twin healing scabs. "You dropped me for what was important."

Startled Sasuke looked away. "My private life should remain private, Haruno, I had no intention of you-"

"No, I know. I just figured it out. And I'm... I'm sorry." she blinked, her eyes filling with tears that were mostly from nerves. "I may feel the way I feel but, I'm not a home wrecker." She shrugged. "I'll be out of here in a few minutes, I'm just dropping this off at the pediatric ward."

Giving them both a small bow that hid her blushing face she turned. Her bye a soft whisper in the crowded cafe.

The two men watched her go, Kiba with a quirked eyebrow and Sasuke impassive, unsure.

"Good riddance." Kiba grumbled finally.

"Yeah." Sasuke admitted, still surprised.

* * *

She wasn't returning his calls, or his texts. He had never been in this situation before. Staring at the phone again on his bed and wondering if it would be days or weeks before she finally replied to him. Haku had been sent home from the hospital only a day after being admitted. He had been shaken up and cold but nothing was broken. He had unfortunately had to find that out from Kiba, since Hinata took him and Sora and left without so much as a call.

 _"She's angry." Sasuke murmured as Kiba finally told him while they walked out of the hospital together._

 _"Yeah." Kiba nodded, giving him a look. "But since when does a pissed off girl scare an Uchiha?"_

 _Sasuke didn't reply so lightly._ _ **Since now**_ _._

 _Out past the skyscrapers he could see the first of the clouds beginning to descend on the city, summer break was nearly over, soon they would have to return to work, and if she was going home before the break was over would be the perfect time to inform Tsunade._

 _"It's almost been a year." He whispered, studying the dark gray clouds spanning across the horizon, bits of light shimmering through the thick dirty cotton in the sky._

 _"Almost." Kiba sighed. "Do you want me to talk to her?"_

 _"No."_

 _"Didn't think so." Patting him lightly on the back he moved down the stairs. "Get a move on."_

So he had called, and called.

Biting his lip he stared at the phone again, willing it to ring, foot tapping impatiently against the frame of his bed. He had not seen Haku since finding him among the tree roots at the harbor, and he had not seen Sora for several days before that, before the incident at the bar.

Pushing himself up he glared at the phone, hands shaking.

 _ **I'm coming over.**_

He watched as her phone received the message, staring at it a moment longer as she began to type.

 _ **It's not really a good time, Sasuke.**_

Biting his lip he hesitated, eyes wandering to the front door of his apartment, tension pulling him back to the bed, and towards that door.

He could see her in his mind's eye, holding her phone as she typed, the light of the sunset coming through the window in her room, setting the purple and blue in her hair off into flashing bits of of color through her ponytail, like fireworks.

Perhaps because of his lack of reply another message appeared on his phone, her hesitation clear even through the blocky black of the letters.

 _ **I'm trying to pack, I can't really have you here.**_

Pack.

She had kicked the air out of his lungs, and whatever coil of energy had sat poised inside him suddenly snapped, sending him down the hall quickly, heart in his throat.

Rapidly he grabbed the letter he had been writing on an off for a few days from his night stand, stuffing it in his pocket as he pulled his shoes on and grabbed his keys.

 _Get a move on._

Breath in his chest he slammed the door of his apartment and without bothering to lock it began to run down the hall, out the door and into the street.

 _I fucked up, Naruto._

 _I should have called you, should have replied to the letters, and now I can't, but I'm going to do this one thing, I'll write you this one reply, and maybe somehow you will get it._

 _How the hell am I supposed to hear all the things you had to tell me about your wife, and your children and not be eaten alive by it?_

 _Maybe it was a good thing I left. I know you don't think so but I can't picture myself with you there, watching you happy and envy would have ended us. All your letters talk about the hope of seeing me again and I am so sorry that I was unable to fufill that one request. I miss you, missed you even then._

 _You're right though._

 _I am a teme._

 _You would think so more now. I think, because something has happened. By some fluke, I've met your wife, your kids, and they've stunned me._

 _Stunned is a stupid word._

 _Broken me?_

 _Saved me?_

 _The same way you did with your fists and your bloody knuckled hugs. I have been battered by them._

 _I'm sorry. I don't know how you would feel about this, but I hope so much that you will remember that I love you, as you loved me._

 _I love them._

 _I love her._

 _I will never be a match to you, I will never meet her needs the way you did and I don't want to. You were her sun. I cannot and will not replace that but maybe I can be something in the night for her. For you._

 _For me too._

 _I don't know how you knew what she was from the start. I try to remember a time when she wasn't the object of your affection and I can't. I am glad for that. I've known you since we were in diapers, daycare, preschool, kindergarden... so as far as I know there has never been a time in her life when she was not someone's most precious thing. That seems right._

 _I love her. And I know, that she will always love you, but that's okay, I've never doubted her ability to love more, just my ability to deserve it._

 _Would you be happy for me? As I should have been, wish I had been for you?_

 _One day, I will see you again, you can punch me then._

 _Your brother always,_

 _Sasuke_

The knock on the door came after the sun had finally gone down and she jumped, even as she had been expecting it.

From the kitchen she stared down the hall, her hands tight around the tea kettle in her hand, feeling adrenaline kick into her blood stream abruptly.

Her eyes wandered to the phone on the counter and she breathed in. He had not replied, and with the knock on the door she had only one guess who could stand on the other side.

 _Don't._ Even as she walked slowly towards the dark hall, staring at the door she breathed in and told herself not to get closer.

Her feet were not listening and slowly she placed her hand on the smooth surface above the door knob, bowing her head to listen.

"...S-sasuke...go home..." she called through, her voice making her upset at her own shakiness. "Go home, okay?"

"Hinata, open the door."

"The kids just- I just barely got them to sleep, please go home."

On the other side of the door Sasuke leaned his forehead against it's smoothness, listening to her soft voice on the other side.

"Please let me in." he breathed it gently into the wood and waited, listening.

Her hand trembled above the door handle for a moment, his voice making her fingers press harder against the solidity of the barrier between them.

"You should go..." and she turned, forcing her body to move back down the hall, rubbing the sweat from her hands on her jeans, tugging the white button down blouse on her frame nervously.

She had barely made it down the hall when the lock was suddenly being turned and she started, turning around to watch him open the door, tossing the spare key on the table, his eyes intent on her face.

"What are you doing?" Flabbergasted she started at his approach, taking a step back. "I need you to g-go please!"

"I have been an idiot." His whispered words brushed her face and jumping back a step at his proximity, face flushing Hinata wandered back to the kitchen. "You can't just burst in here, Sasuke, I need you to please-" _Go, please go, don't look at me like that..._

"Listen," and with both of them in the kitchen Hinata stumbled back, feeling the press of her cupboard against her shoulder blades as he searched intently for her face, her eyes avoiding trying to turn away, making more heat rise to her cheeks and ears, setting them on fire.

She was shaking, and trying to remain as calm as possible she blew out a deep breath that tickled his face.

"I have been making a lot of mistakes this past few months." His hands were suddenly on her arms and she shuddered, putting her palms firmly against his chest to give him a push back. "Don't. I can't have you here. I made the mistake of letting my kids get attached, I need you to go. I need to go home."

"Please don't." His grip was tightening on her and she stopped, surprised, looking at him for the first time, gray eyes furious and hurt. "Why not?" Despite her frustration her voice was gentle and the juxtaposition made him ache.

"...I'm scared, Hinata." His eyes always had the effect of making her feel lost, like looking up into the heavens while tumbling through the wilderness. It was nothing like looking at Naruto's gaze, there was nothing particularly safe in it, but overwhelming, frighteningly beautiful.

"S-scared?"

"I lose everything." His hands tightened. "My parents, my brother..." His eyes searched hers as she winced. "Naruto too-"

"Y..You didn't lose him, he was always there, you left- and I can't... I can't have you do that to-"

"I left because it was easier for me in that moment to just go, to lose everything at once than have to wait for it to be taken- I was doing that to you." His hands traveled from her arms to her face and she froze, eyes widening at the feel of his fingers in her hair, tracing the line of her jaw.

"...d..don't."

"I thought I could never lose you if I didn't have you."

Heart pounding Hinata pushed, her hands separating them as they shook. "What...what are you-?" she searched his face, his intensity and the way his chest rose and fell making her start. Her hands traveled to her skin, touching her throat where he had so gently pressed his fingers, lingering over the rapidly beating vein at her jugular.

"You can't." She shook her head. "You can't just come in here...and..." she shook again, confused. "I...I had already made up my mind. I need to go home."

Eyes softening Sasuke cocked his head to the side, studying her trembling limbs, her pink mouth bruised from anxious biting, her wide eyes tinged with tears.

"You're angry at me. I get that."

"Angry?" Her eyes hardened and feeling the pounding of her heart in her ears she shook her head. "I introduced you to my kids, let them become enamored with you, but you...Haku ran away, he wanted so much to see you." Breathless she buried her face in her hands, "I hate you." the lie lingered in the air between them and Sasuke breathed in hard, like inhaling smoke. It burned in his chest and for a second he hesitated, watching as her shoulders shook with quiet tears.

"Say it again." His voice was feather light, caressing it's way out of his mouth, hovering in air between them.

Rubbing at the wetness on her face Hinata stared at him, her jaw set defiantly. "...I hate you."

His smile crushed her, dark eyes peering at her from behind his black hair, studying her with tear clouded eyes she couldn't deny.

"You're lying." His whisper made her stomach tighten inside her, a painful jab within her organs.

Chest heaving for air Hinata whimpered, a hand to her mouth sharply to stem the flow of I'm sorries she wanted to scream, body trembling.

"..No." she shook her head, her voice thick as he took a step towards her, and the feel of his hips against hers again made her start, dragging air into her body with monumental effort. Her gasp made her wince. He studied her hands against his chest, trying and failing to push against him.

"Say it again, if you mean it."

Her shoulders shook, and with her head lowered to his collarbone he breathed her in, hands sliding slow and steady up her arms.

"...you can't... I can't... " and her voice broke. "...I'm too much..."

So many things came with her, things that frightened him. Things he had been trying to forget, trying to bury and hide.

"Say it again then."

Sobbing now she pressed her hands to her face, feeling his fingers trailing slowly up her neck, his breath against the soft sensitive skin beneath her jawline.

"I...I..." _Say it, Hinata, say it..._

His hands were burying themselves into her dark hair, and a shudder that was not sadness passed through her as he pulled her face up to look at him.

"I love you." It was a whisper, slow and methodical. There was no rush in the sentence, his lips kissed the tears from her cheeks and she stayed still, gray eyes watching as his darkness seemed to rise up to consume her.

She had always known love to be something bright, something that made other things shine, but this was different, it wasn't sky blue, dotted with balloons of joy. This was a night sky, it was slow in changing, deeply marred with both darkness and beauty and as his mouth pressed to her she felt herself succumbing to it.

He was bruises and bites, his desperation making her ache as he pressed into her, tongue a soft sweetness that made thinking impossible as each pulse of her heart sent heat in all directions of her body.

 _What did he say?_

 _What did he just say to me?_

Like the resonating sound of a cello his body pressed to hers, fingers undoing buttons, gasps drawn from her throat as he explored her, not wanting to know her but mold her with his hands, his grip impatient and almost frightened.

Trembling she felt him lift her up, pushing himself between her knees, leaving no room for questions, no room for doubting.

This was no confession, this was a conquest, over her and perhaps over anything that had held him taut away from her skin for so long. His lips travelling down her throat were blows, rending the ties that bound him, his moan against her mouth a bullet through the fears that clouded him.

Her clothes were being ripped from her body, moments of pain blurring with the agony of his ministrations, the fire in her belly blooming as he felt her skin with his hands and lifted her to him, dragging her stumbling into the bedroom.

Fighting it wasn't an option, for months she had been struggling with thoughts of his mouth, the feel of his shoulder blades beneath her hands. Tasting tears that may have been his or hers as she kissed him she slid her hands up his bare torso, learning the feel of his ribs and muscles beneath her palms, his weight a pleasure she found too heady to even articulate to herself in her own mind.

Somehow he knew what he was doing, exactly where she would be caused the most reason to cry out, her hands fluttering over her mouth in an attempt to keep her cries from escaping, his own softly whispered words floating in her mind's eye as his sweat mixed with her own.

Time passed through her hands like moonlight, there was no capturing the sensation of him slowly, and yet impatiently learning every curve of her body. His lips were travelers and she ached as they slid from her ribs down to the curve of her hip where her bones flirted with his hands. There was nothing she could think of but his dark eyes intent on her through his wanderings, fixed on the daze of her gray gaze.

And as the pressure began to build she watched as though distant and yet infinitely more aware as her body opened to him, air hitched in her throat as he whispered his promises, his voice aching with the feel of her, forehead pressed to hers, breathing in her gasps.

 _I won't leave, I can't._

Feeling the pain at first and then pleasure, slow and steadily building, her breath racing ahead of her, too far away to catch.

 _I'll try, I'll be afraid of failing but I will always try_

His fingers tightening around her wrists, pinning her to him, mouth consuming her cries.

 _As long as you will have me_

His rhythm both painful and pure, desperation, sheer need making her tighten, her voice breaking through her delirium. "Don't stop."

 _As long as you want_

She could see the fireworks from New Years, see them in his gaze, the explosions against the darkness and stars of his eyes mesmerizing, the bloom of the pleasure and release of pain forcing her back to arch against him, his breath hot on her neck, holding tight the thing which frightened him the most.

 _Long even after that_

"I'll love you always... "

* * *

 _ **yep**_

 ** _-inky_**


	23. Chapter 23

_**A.N**_

 _ **Feeling a lessening of the pressure to continue the writing, thank the holy God above, I was seriously burning out, but now I can relax a little.**_

 _ **ALSO**_

 _ **WARNING:**_

 _ **fluff. fluff. ALL OVER the place.**_

 _ **:)**_

 _ **-Inky**_

* * *

He woke only because of the touch of light on his face. Feeling both heavy and comfortable he pushed his cheek further into the softness of the sheets, breathing in the smell of the covers that was so incredibly pleasant.

Blinking rapidly as he recognized the scent he froze, his eyes landing on her face. Her hair was a tangle of darkness and locks of it slid across her pale cheeks, her mouth swollen into plumpness from bruising kisses he had tried so hard to soften.

Behind her one small rectangle of light flooded through the curtains across the room. Her hair glowed with the light on her shoulder, each individual lock a blue, indigo or violet hue that sparkled as the light warmed her.

Sleepily she shifted, her brows frowning for only a second before relaxing again into her pillow. Swallowing hard Sasuke moved, eyes trailing from the curve of her cheek to her hands laying close to him, her long delicate fingers relaxed against the white of her sheets.

His eyes lingered on her ring finger, the line of her old wedding band having long since faded.

A sound from the room next to them made him start and at the same time Hinata's eyelashes fluttered, her gray gaze coming to land on him, eyes widening a little.

Her already softly pink face darkened and he watched with unrestrained hunger as she buried herself beneath the covers, her eyes peeking up at him between the darkness of her bangs and the brightness of her white sheet.

Slowly he felt a smile pull on his lips stubbornly, dark eyes softening.

"...u-um..." she began softly through the fabric, startled at the feel of his hand on her very naked thigh, sliding up softly and making a violent shiver that forced her to close her eyes rip through her body.

Making them both pause Hinata opened her eyes in time to see his worry flicker through his gaze, a sound coming through the door of the room interrupting the train of his thoughts instantly.

"Oka-san!" Sora's voice echoed as she jiggled the door knob, puzzled by the lock in place. "Oka-san!"

"...I should go." Sasuke whispered, moving to get up. For a moment Hinata started, her eyes widening as he moved, watching as he grabbed clothing off the floor.

Biting her lip so hard she was worried it would bleed she pushed herself up to her forearm. "...Sasuke-"

"You should... talk to them, they... or I mean...we should... we should probably talk ourselves but..."

The feel of her body suddenly up, pressing into his back made him stop, voice caught like a bird in his throat, fluttering. The warmth of her along his spine and her hair sliding over his shoulder as she pressed her cheek to the back of his neck gave him pause, his clothes suddenly much less important.

"Stay." she breathed it against his ear, her fingers travelling slowly, wistfully down the length of his arms to his hands, pulling his palm up to her mouth where she pressed her lips to the soft underside of his wrist.

As her mouth departed from his skin he suddenly remembered to breathe again. "...you're going to kill me doing that."

A sound escaped her, soft and melodic as she shivered against him.

"Oka-san!"

Jumping a little they turned their contradictory gazes on the door together.

"Clothes." Sasuke suggested, and Hinata meeped, crawling to the other side of the bed in search for a shirt, pants, anything.

Breathless she glanced over her shoulder in time to see him appreciatively studying her as she lay on her stomach, trying to grab the discarded shirt from the night before off the floor. Blushing furiously she found herself again beneath the covers, her eyes peering from the darkness of the blankets, pale and almost glowing.

Smirking a little Sasuke stood, buttoning his pants and watching with some very obvious satisfaction as her eyes lingered on him, her lip bit again hard.

"I'll go out first, how about?"

Wordlessly she watched him throw on a shirt, listening to the thumping in her chest at the sight of Sasuke dressing in her bedroom.

"H-hai."

He held on to the door knob for a moment looking at her seriously, dark eyes pensive. Hinata licked her lips from her hiding spot, watching, the sound of Sora's fists on the other side of the door ignored for that split second, and abruptly he moved forward.

Startling a soft sound from her mouth he straddled her waist, blankets and all, pressing her wrists down to the mattress, completely voiding any attempt to escape, although she had no intentions of that.

Breathless she started and gasped as his lips skipped over her collarbone, neck, jaw and then softly pressed to her mouth, her moan stifled by the feel of his tongue and the way her chest began it's startled panting to bring oxygen to her rapidly dissolving brain.

As abruptly as he moved forward he removed himself from her, not without some struggle on his part, and was out the door without another word, except for a soft "Good morning, chibi!" to Sora as he closed the door behind him.

Hinata lay there gasping, a hand to her forehead as she tried to gather herself.

 _I don't know anything about this..._ Her hand fluttered to her collarbone where his current ministrations had begun and she closed her eyes, trying to keep herself calm despite replaying the feeling over and over in her mind.

 _This isn't anything like-_

And suddenly her hand went to the necklace that had lingered on her through the night, as it always did, although this time she had not thought about it at all.

Feeling both a sadness and relief she couldn't describe she pushed herself up to sit, looking at her wedding ring glittering on the silver chain.

"Oka-san!" Haku's voice suddenly sounded from the family room. "When did Uncle Sasuke get here?"

Jumping out of bed Hinata rushed to the closet, scrambling to dress herself before her son burst through the door to ask more questions.

* * *

"So."

Hinata blinked at him, her face pink, hands in her lap tightly, shoulders up to her ears. Across from her he stared, a little frown on his face, marring the beautiful features, seriousness dripping from his expression even as he swirled the multicolored cereal in his bowl.

His eyes shifted from Hinata to Sasuke who was standing in the kitchen, making an effort to not make eye contact with the five year old by hiding behind his coffee cup.

"So." Hinata echoed back to him, biting her lip hard, feeling a little sheepish as he calculated as best he could what was obviously a little beyond his comprehension.

"...Uncle Sasuke sleeps over now?"

"Um." Hinata's face could not get hotter, for a moment she resisted the urge to fan herself and Sasuke watched with obvious amusement as Haku frowned at her again.

Sora watched the proceedings with a mouthful of toast moving around in her chubby cheeks, a smear of jam across her chin moving with each round chew of her jaw. Her blue eyes drifted from Haku to her mother and then landed, as always dripping with affection, on Sasuke.

Smirking a little Sasuke winked at her. Wrinkling her nose impishly she blinked both eyes back, having not figured out how to wink quite yet.

"I..." her gaze fluttered to Sasuke, only to find that this did not help the heating situation and rapidly she turned back to Haku.

"I...I think that we will have some more answers for your questions in a bit, Haku-kun. I... um..Sasuke, and I are still...uh..."

"It's going to get sorted out soon, Haku-kun." Sasuke suddenly cut in and letting out a thankful sigh Hinata relaxed her shoulders a bit.

Haku let his blue eyes drift slowly again, from his mother to Sasuke.

"And then we will all have a house?"

"Um." Hinata's panic made Sasuke smirk again, and slowly he took a sip of coffee, watching with interest as she floundered, able and unwilling to help for the moment.

"Um, Haku... I'm... I'm... " Hinata began again, and when her sentence didn't get much further Sasuke licked his lips, nodding behind her back at Haku once, twice, three times for good measure.

A round O shape appeared on Haku's face and Hinata turned to look at Sasuke over her shoulder confusedly.

He stared steadily back, allowing himself another smirk before taking a sip of coffee again.

"So." Sora commented, trying to sound as grown up as Haku. "Kiki play with me now."

Hinata began to answer but stopped as Sasuke put his cup of coffee down beside her at the table and grabbed Sora up, throwing her high before plopping her back on her chair, nibbling at her neck and making her squeak with laughter, legs kicking.

"Me too!" Haku gasped, all seriousness dropping from his face as he pushed himself up and stood, adjusting his dinosaur pajamas with one hand before launching himself at Sasuke and tumbling off his side.

Hinata leaned back a little, resting against the wall watching, her hand landing on a piece of paper that was on the floor. Puzzled she picked it up, recognizing Sasuke's neat dark writing, eyes widening in surprise.

The words slowly lifted from the page, and raising her hand to her mouth she breathed in.

 _I'm sorry. I don't know how you would feel about this, but I hope so much that you will remember that I love you, as you loved me._

 _I love them._

Sora shrieked, her giggles overwhelming her as she kicked furiously, a deep belly baby laugh escaping her as Sasuke nibbled on her rib cage, pinning her arm up above her head.

 _I love her._

 _I will never be a match to you, I will never meet her needs the way you did and I don't want to. You were her sun. I cannot and will not replace that but maybe I can be something in the night for her. For you._

 _For me too._

"Up!" Sasuke called, throwing Haku over his back. The boy squeaked a little nervously and held on arms tight around his neck. "Don't let me fall!"

"I am not going to let you fall, chibi, don't be silly!"

 _I don't know how you knew what she was from the start. I try to remember a time when she wasn't the object of your affection and I can't. I am glad for that. I've known you since we were in diapers, daycare, preschool, kindergarden... so as far as I know there has never been a time in her life when she was not someone's most precious thing. That seems right._

 _I love her. And I know, that she will always love you, but that's okay, I've never doubted her ability to love more, just my ability to deserve it._

His dark eyes landed on her, on the paper in her hands and he paused, surprised. Gently he lowered Haku to the ground, his hand sliding to his pocket where he had had the letter in the evening. He had intended to give it to her if she refused to talk to him, but now...

 _Would you be happy for me? As I should have been, wish I had been for you?_

 _One day, I will see you again, you can punch me then._

 _Your brother always,_

 _Sasuke_

Slowly Hinata looked up, meeting his dark eyes with her pale gray, tears filling her gaze as she leaned her forehead against her hand, smiling at him.

"Oka-san?" Haku stopped bouncing, watching intently.

"You really shouldn't be reading other people's mail, Hina." Sasuke whispered softly chiding, cocking his head only a little to the right as he waited.

A soft wet laugh escaped her as she stood.

She had thought they would take things slowly, carefully introduce the idea to the kids, let the adjustment period come and fade gently over months.

Gracefully she walked over to him kneeling on the ground with her babies, taking his cheek in her hand as she leaned down and kissed him.

Haku's sharp intake of breath beside her and Sora's little "Oh!" didn't stop her.

Pulling back slowly she smiled, hearing Haku sigh loudly as Sasuke stared dazedly back at her.

"Finally!" her son cried, and then flopped on the ground with relief.

* * *

"You have three others?"

Tamaki was ignoring his tone of voice, even as she dumped a box of kitty litter in the garbage and walked from her back porch to the kitchen to scrub her hands.

"I never said I wanted a single cat, I said I needed to get a kitten." Her gaze flickered to him and he smirked a little. "You're going to be that crazy cat lady."

"Those women are usually single and so I doubt it." Tamaki replied breezily, making him scoff as he leaned over her counter, watching as she dried her hands on a tea towel off the stove.

She had asked him over again, because she said she needed help putting together a scratching post for the crazy furball they had picked up. He was anxious and as a result wanted to scratch everything all the time, causing some pretty nasty damage to an apartment she didn't want to leave in ruins when she moved out.

"Maybe instead of a scratching post you could get rid of the cats." He commented, knowing full well that a glare would shoot his way. Surprising him Tamaki turned to look at him with a smirk. "You're baiting me."

Baffled Kiba squirmed, tapping on the counter top before straightening sharply and banging his head on the cupboard above.

"Ow!"

Her giggle didn't help the growing blush on his cheeks and rubbing his head he squinted at her, watching her gazing at him thoughtfully.

"Ano..." he began clearing his throat. "Have you see Hinata at all lately? I tried to call her last night, but she said she was trying to pack." His voice grew low when he ended that sentence and something flickered in Tamaki's gaze.

"You're sad."

"Blah." Kiba grumbled, flopping onto her couch and making one of the elderly cats glare at him with the same force he had expected Tamaki to fix him with.

Sticking his tongue out at the feline he turned back to Tamaki who watched him, her hands pushed into her back pockets. In the light of the morning with the sun up high pouring brightness into the apartment he could see the outline of her body clear as day. Her petite-ness accented every bone, from her cheeks and delicate pixie-like jaw to the jewel like curves of her wrists.

Brazenly a thought of holding her wrists pinned above her head with his mouth over hers flashed through his mind and she cocked her head, watching him look away sharply, face reddening.

"You still like her a lot, ne?" She blinked, misunderstanding the heat on his cheeks.

"What?" he blinked at her in surprise, going from one uncomfortable thought to a complete new one. "No- I mean. I love her- sure- NOT like that, I mean... once, maybe I could have, but I mean no- she and Sasuke and then y- and... I and... I am not interested in Hinata." He finished lamely, watching puzzlement flicker over Tamaki's face, her big eyes blinking rapidly.

"Huh."

No sooner had she huffed her confused reply when Kiba's phone rang in his pocket.

 _Oh thank god._

"Hello?"

Watching him intently Tamaki walked over, toying with the edge of her shirt. Her knee bumped his and he flickered his eyes to and away from her. From his position on the couch she was tall, high above him and all he could see was the flat smoothness of her stomach beneath her shirt and the curve of her chest before her curious face.

Trying to focus he turned to Sasuke's voice on the phone. _"Kiba. I kind of need to talk to you.."_

"Uh, okay..." Kiba stuttered, suddenly watching Tamaki's hand slowly press to the backrest by his head, her body bending down towards him, derailing words.

 _"Kiba?"_

"I'm...listening..."he whispered, staring as she lowered her face to his, eyes searching.

 _"You don't sound...are you okay?."_

"What... um... what's up?" He stared at her, and watched in complete stupor as her lips formed the shapes for "hang up".

 _"I am just panicking, not in a bad way, but... Kiba?"_

"I am gonna have to call you back." Kiba gasped, his breath suddenly slamming through his chest as Tamaki's legs straddled his waist, her tummy pressing to his, and by sheer association her chest. Dropping the phone he stared at her, flabbergasted and hyperventilating a little.

"...I...I think you missed the empty part of the couch by a few feet." He whispered, surprised that his tongue was managing to work under his current situation. Tamaki stared at him, hands tight on the backrest of the couch, small soft lips pressed into a serious line.

"You don't like her?"

"...W-who? H-Hina-chan? I... No..." Hardly sure of who he was referring to in this moment Tamaki cocked her head slowly to the right, her brown hair tumbling over her shoulder.

"Sure?"

"I am pretty positively sure, yes." He had never been quite so certain of something in his life as he was in that particular moment.

His heart hit a new speed when she slowly, carefully rolled her hips against him, and gasping he grabbed hold of her, trying desperately to keep her still. "No..no no... don't do that..." panting he shuddered and a slow cat-like smile of satisfaction spread over her small plump mouth.

"Okay." And she got off suddenly, her weight and heat taking something of him with her.

"Are you going to help me build this thing or should I do it myself?" Her tone was full of nonchalance as she sat on the floor, pulling the pieces of the scratching post out of the tall box along with the instructions.

Kiba leaned his head back, hands pressed hard to his eyes, chest rising and falling fitfully as he tried to drag in some air.

"Um...yes...just...I just..."

"Take your time." A light amused sing song reply.

"Okay." So he stayed where he was, trying to remember what oxygen was used for before that moment.

* * *

He had had to go home, if only to get clothes, and nervously he had lingered near the door of her apartment, studying her as hard as she was trying not to study him.

Her hair was still ruffled up, and idly she pushed it from her face, pink cheeks blooming almost red as he took her hand and pulled her out of the apartment, dragging the door closed to separate them from the kids.

Gasping she felt herself pressed firmly to the door, listening to the cries of laughter from her children inside, giggling as they splashed in the bathtub.

The feel of his body against hers was still new and the air struggled in her lungs as he trailed his hands up her back, feeling the swan like curve of her neck, first with his fingers, and then with his mouth as he trailed kisses up her throat.

"Ah..." she felt herself panting and the blush intensified, overwhelming her when his mouth pressed to hers and slowly she could taste the smooth liquid honey of his tongue.

He was different, so different. Everything about Naruto had been gentle, it had been kind, it had her in mind, and she realized she had needed that. She had needed it to survive putting herself in his hands, the safety a requirement for her quiet still frightened soul.

But Sasuke wasn't safety, he was breath taking danger, his need rivaled hers and firmly he demanded as obstinately as he gave, her body responding to his touch without her even knowing that was exactly what she had wanted, down in the depths of her mind. Her safety was gone and in it's place she had found a steady determined core, one capable of handling, thirsty even for the adrenaline pumping gasps that he drew from her.

His fingers were tightening on her clothes and hungrily she felt herself pushing harder against his hips, the pressure of his body fighting her back dragging a sound from her mouth that made him groan, pulling back sharply, pressing his face into her neck.

"...I ...do not...want to leave right now."

It was still early, and he would have to go home and endure the quiet for hours, thinking about her, remembering bits and pieces of what had happened throughout the day.

"Don't then."

"...ugh." He whispered, and his hands pressed her to him painfully. "I have to get some things done, we have to be at work tomorrow."

"Right." She sounded like she wasn't listening and when he pulled back to look at her he stepped back as though stung, her gray gaze was unlike anything he had seen on her face before. Dazed she let her eyes wander from his eyes to his lips and back, pressing herself to the door to make some space between them, blinking rapidly to clear her head.

"You're going to be a problem at work." He informed her, chest rising and falling rapidly as he felt his feet hit the other side of her hall wall. Blinking still Hinata felt herself smile, and then buried her face in her hands, grabbing the door handle and scurrying inside.

Smirking Sasuke stood there staring at the doorway, picturing her on the other side, still trying to calm herself as he left.

They had been unable to discuss anything, and he was bursting. He wanted to ask her things about why she was letting him touch her, why her cries last night had been so intoxicated, why she was smiling at him and willing to let the kids see her with her lips against his but there was no time, no space for them to hide, to gasp into each other's mouths with two little bodies wandering around eyeing them like they were suddenly made of rainbows.

Frantically, for something to do Sasuke called Kiba again as he walked into his own apartment, hoping this time his weirdo friend would actually pick up the damn phone and be functioning on the other side.

 _"Uchiha."_

"Finally. What's wrong with you? You hung up weird this morning."

 _"...uh... yeah."_ Kiba sounded uncomfortable. _"I'm home now, I wasn't at the time, where are you?"_

"Home... I just got back."

 _"From?"_

"...Hinata's." He breathed her name and winced against the memory of her neck exposed as she arched her back into him, her face pink, her lips parted with a gasp.

 _"You...sound shaky. Did that not go well? I know she was thinking of talking to Tsunade tomorrow at work about giving notice..."_

Sasuke didn't generally use words like um or er or anything that wasn't particularly useful so he cleared his throat instead. "It didn't go too badly, actually." He frowned, unsure of why he was having a hard time continuing the conversation. Kiba listened for a second. _"Okay, well if she didn't send you packing I guess it didn't."_

The long pause that followed made him take a deep breath, puzzled. _"Do you want to talk about it?"_

"Uh... I...not really." Sasuke winced at his articulation, suddenly wondering why he had called him.

 _"Okay... well, I'll see you at work then tomorrow?"_ Kiba sounded unsure.

"Yes."

 _"You're being weird."_

"Sorry."

 _"Whatever, call me when you've taken your pills or whatever you gotta do to be less quirky."_ Kiba grumbled, hanging up.

Flopping onto his bed Sasuke covered his face, trying to dispel the snippets of memory that kept flickering through his mind.

 _I'm drunk_ , he realized staring at his ceiling through his fingers. _I've never been this kind of drunk before._

He was drunk on her.

* * *

She had had to put the kids to bed early. Haku refused to stop asking questions throughout the day, about where they were going to live, and if Sasuke would be with them for breakfast in the morning and "Oka-san? Where did he sleep?"

The constant never ending blush refused to leave her face, it dominated the heat source in her body making her fingers and toes numb while her ears and cheeks threatened to melt.

Eventually as the day began to progress to night she began to glance at her phone, bouncing back and forth between something along the lines of nerves and doubt to giddy.

She had not been giddy in so long it felt uncomfortable and forcefully she would sit with her hands over her face breathing hard through her parted fingers.

 _Calm down, Hinata, calm down._

Cleaning up after the kids she felt herself becoming increasingly more nervous, her fingers trembling as she gathered up their disasters, mopping up spills, throwing laundry to go, arranging their daycare uniforms and lunches in the kitchen.

He had not texted or called since leaving in the morning, and as the hours ticked by her eyes wandered more and more towards where her phone sat, silent and dark.

Shuddering with anxiety and nerves she threw the last of the dishes in the sink and grabbed a towel from her closet. She needed something to do, her body felt like a shaken soda can, and fearing she was going to implode from all the building pressure she wandered to the bathroom, startling herself when she saw her reflection.

Her hair was a mess, it was ruffled and mussed, but besides that she couldn't help but stare in surprise at herself. Her mouth was pretty... it was pink, it was...kissable, and she was in such a state of constant heat that her face looked dusted with rouge, her eyes wide and perhaps a little on the sparkly side.

Blinking dazedly at herself she turned away, rubbing her eyes. "...this is ridiculous, Hinata. You're a grown woman, c-c-calm down."

As the steam began to fill the room and the fog covered the mirror she found it easier to move around, gathering things for her shower and brushing her teeth without having to avoid looking at herself.

Alone for the first time since the moment before Sasuke appeared the night before she dared, for a second to think back on what had happened, trying to skip as quickly as she could past the parts that left her breathless, to his words, his eyes before his lips claimed hers.

 _I love you_

He had said it, out loud over and over, whispering it to her as she kissed his neck, gasping it against her skin as he explored her curves, leaving her mute, her voice good for nothing but moaning.

As she stepped out of the shower she grabbed her towel, feeling like everything was either extremely soft or extremely rough, all the edges on everything grated on her skin. Licking her lips she stepped out of the bathroom and froze.

Sasuke leaned against the hall wall, head cocked to the right, studying her in her bath towel, dark eyes penetrating.

In a voice that was deeper and more overwhelming than usual he sighed. "I have delightful timing."

His gaze traveled from her pink wide eyed face to her smooth pearly legs, her shoulders bare, her collarbone flirting as it peeked above the towel.

"...Oh...Oh... " Oh God, she had wanted to say, but didn't get a chance. Mouth locked in an exploration of her neck again he guided her backwards, ignoring the soft half attempts at protests from her mouth. Contradictory to her "Wait...wait, maybe we should...Sasuke...wait..." her fingers were undoing the belt at his hips and as her heels felt the frame of her bed she pulled him down with her.

"We can't just... we can't just..." she struggled. Her mouth was good for other things, she was sure it was. She had used it once or twice in her life for something other than kissing, surely.

"I'm taking the towel off." He warned. His tone had taken on a darkness that made her shiver, his kisses infused with bites along her skin that made her gasp for air. She felt a panic at his words that seemed unreasonable, considering she had pushed his pants off a second before but it didn't matter. It had not been a question.

With the light of the lamp on her nightstand she buried her face in her hands, peeking at him through her fingers again. She was still wet and the sparkles of light cast diamonds through the water droplets on her skin. Straddling her Sasuke stared for a moment, and Hinata watched through her hands as his chest began to rise and fall quickly.

"...how did I think I could live without you?" He seemed to be asking no one...or perhaps himself.

She had been wondering the same thing. The darkness of his hair and eyes contrasting with his skin and the rippling muscle beneath it was making her body clench fitfully, tightening already at the possibility, the hope that she would be allowed to touch him.

" I love you." she said it before she could lose her nerve, and considering her current state of vulnerability it seemed like she had little to lose. She watched as something happened on his face, a startled expression flashing over it before softening, lips parting as though finding it hard to breathe.

Like an echo of before he leaned down, his breath short and startled, searching her face as though trying to find a lie.

"...Say it again..."

His chest against hers made her shiver, delicately she reached up, tracing the lines of his face with the soft pads of her fingers, comfortable now that his warmth was around her.

"I love you."

He shivered, mouth hovering above hers, stealing the breath from her before she could use it.

"...a...again."

"I love you." It became easier with each repetition, her lips forming the words and kissing them softly as she let them go.

"Do you mean it?"

Pain, soft and delicate like holding on to a prickly flower made her wince, softly she slid her lips across his, not a kiss but a touch, fascinated by the shudder that ripped through him at the movement.

"I'm a bad liar." Her eyes watched him, his hunger both physical and as he stared into her she could see the starving need to believe her as well. "...I will say it as many times as I have to, until you believe me."

Slowly he kissed her, prying her lips apart, becoming more and more desperate with each aching second until they were both gasping for air, his hands bruised delightfully, his body in time with hers as she whispered urgently.

"...again..." his voice lingered in her ear, and as the darkness overtook the sky outside she smiled even as she happily complied.

Moving her body to show him, she whispered. "I love you."

* * *

In the stillness of their finally caught breath he watched her, eyelashes long against her cheeks as she breathed in slowly, her cheeks, her neck, her collarbone pink, dusted with rose buds.

Slowly raising her gray eyes to meet his he watched, awed as she smiled, her nose coming to press against his, contentment so obviously manifesting on her face he could hardly grasp it.

"I want to marry you."

Eyes widening Hinata stared. What had Kiba told her, holding her on the beach, as she cried and buried her face in her hands embarrassed by her outburst at Sakura's appearance as the sun died.

 _"...It's not like that, Hinata. I promise. Sasuke... he's an all or nothing person. He's an always or never, a start to finish, beginning to end kinda guy. He wouldn't be doing what it looks like he's doing..."_ His words had seemed lies, his attempts to calm her as shameful to her as her own tears.

Dark eyes observing her surprise Sasuke slid his hands along her side, counting ribs, then smoothing over the delicate wing shape of her shoulder blade.

"Don't answer me now-" His voice caught, and in the brief trip she whispered.

"Ask me."

Blinking rapidly he pushed his fingers into the hair at the nape of her neck, watching as tears started to flood her gaze.

"...Hinata."

Slowly the liquid pooled and trickled down the side of her face, sliding long and gentle down her skin, her breaths catching with her silent sobs.

"...will you marry me?"

A pair of blue eyes had looked at her once, the same. Their trepidation and fear tapered by the hope, the realization that her mouth was pursing with pleasure, with joy, even as she wept.

She watched him in her memory, saw him with the blue sky behind him like his eyes as he grinned, hearing her answer, his heart beat so loud and forceful against her palm as he kissed her, whooping with delight as he spun with her in his grip.

 _I want you to have joy._ His voice had whispered it often, pressing his lips to her ear as they swayed to music in the evenings, as she screamed with contractions at the hospital in pain, as they made up from a fight in gasping breaths among their sheets.

 _I want you to have joy._

Sasuke's lips on her neck, his arms full of Sora planting kisses on his nose, Haku's idolizing smile, his dark eyes trained on her, seeing her tears, hearing her laugh, feeling her hands when they grew cold.

 _Naruto, there's so many different versions of joy._

 _I love you so much._

 _Thank you._

"Yes."

* * *

 _ **I'm sneezing. The fluff is crazy.**_

 _ **Inky**_


	24. Chapter 24

_**A.N**_

 _ **Not sure about chapters left, I don't want to give a number so we will just have to see. Not many more, but certainly not done yet :)**_

 _ **Much love,**_

 _ **Inky**_

* * *

 _They arrived at the house together, which made Hinata eye them curiously. She had seen Tamaki's hands on Kiba before, gently straightening the collar of his jacket, or placed softly on his shoulder as she passed him in the hall._

 _Blinking at her curiously she stepped aside to let them in, arranging her skirt around herself carefully and Tamaki eyed her back, blinking._

 _"You look wonderfully pretty today." she smiled, gently tugging on a lock of Hinata's hair. "What's going on?"_

 _Blushing furiously Hinata blinked at her and then averted her eyes. "Uh... nothing- I...thank you!"_

 _"Hina, getting so flustered all the time is going to give you a heart attack." Kiba shook his head, turning to the kids as they screamed down the hall and into his arms, sending him stumbling back into the apartment door._

 _"Uncle Kiba!"_

 _"Baka!"_

 _"That never gets old." Tamaki sighed, gently petting Sora's blonde head with a smirk. Kiba rolled his eyes at her._

 _"Cat Lady."_

 _Puzzled again Hinata moved back into the family room. "Dinner is almost ready, Sasuke should be back in a minute, he just went to get Sora chocolate milk." Throwing the toddler a glance that was less than pleased she added. "She very adamantly refuses to have supper without it."_

 _"Who could possibly say no to her though?" Kiba whispered, holding the child up like she was a puppy. Sora hung limply in his arms, looking sheepishly at her mother, blue eyes sparkling sapphires._

 _"How did the first day at work go for you though, Hinata? I hardly saw you at all." Tamaki sighed as she settled herself on the floor with Haku sprawled over her legs on his stomach._

 _"It was busy." Hinata nodded, eyeing the door again for Sasuke. "Tsunade was saying they over registered for the second term, I didn't think they could do that?"_

 _"Yes, it's when schools don't file their paperwork." Tamaki's gaze went directly to Kiba who was having his puffed out cheeks squashed by Sora's fat little fists over and over._

 _"Don't look at me, I'm not the secretary." he mumbled, eyes fixed on Sora's face determinedly. Smirking again Tamaki wrinkled her nose._

 _"Before Pretty Face shows up though..." Kiba suddenly started, pulling Sora's hands away from his face gently. "...I was wondering..."_

 _Surprised Hinata sat up. "What's the matter?"_

 _"You were talking so seriously about going." he continued, wincing a little he glanced at the kids who seemed uninterested in their conversation. Tamaki blinked over at Hinata, curiosity lighting her face. "I didn't hear anything from Tsunade-san. I figured she would be looking for me to hire a replacement for you, no?"_

 _Hinata stared at them, uncertainty clouding her features. "Um... right, I just.. um... I have had to do a lot of thinking...The child welfare agency has been calling, asking to do another visit, but... I think that maybe they might... um.. they might reconsider their worries if they come...again..." Blushing harder and harder she lowered her gaze to her lap where her fingers played with her skirt._

 _Tamaki cocked her head. "Well... that's great. I'm so glad... what made you change your mind?"_

 _Suddenly the apartment door opened and Hinata leaned over, glad to see Sasuke coming in the door, curiosity skirting over his features at her panicked expression. Seeing the shoes by the door he smirked, and walked over calmly._

 _"Mine chocky!" Sora jumped out of Kiba's lap, her hops making her pigtails fly around._

 _"Defeated by chocolate." He laughed, watching her happily receive a bottle of chocolate milk from Sasuke._

 _"Inuzuka." his friend muttered, and Kiba eyed him warily. "Hey." Frowning a little he cocked his head. "You're in a weird mood- since when do you say hi?"_

 _"Ano..." Hinata began as Sasuke dumped the grocery bag on the counter and moved towards her. "We... I...we wanted to have you over for dinner so we could-um, tell you that-" and she stopped abruptly as Sasuke grabbed her by the chin, turned her towards him and kissed her hard._

 _Tamaki and Kiba stared, watching Hinata push him away and then bury her face in her hands sheepishly. "Sasuke!"_

 _Smirking Sasuke waved a hand at her, "That's why." moving to the kitchen to where he had cod finishing up in the oven._

 _Slowly Kiba's mouth slid open._

 _"Whoa, whoa, whoa wait..." he began. "W..when did- when-?"_

 _Hinata was not coming out of hiding and Sasuke was busy, waiting for his open mouthed friend to pull a sentence together._

 _"Oh thank god." Tamaki laughed. "I thought that would never happen."_

 _"Guess I'm officially third wheel!" Kiba gasped, although he didn't sound too upset. Grabbing one of the Haku's stuffed animals he chucked it over Hinata's head at Sasuke who smirked, entirely too pleased with the situation to even be offended._

 _"Third wheel?" Tamaki was sitting up now, studying Kiba who glanced back at her quizzically. "Yes, because they're-"_

 _Before he could finish his sentence Sora was jumping into his lap, demanding his attention, and they moved forward through the evening, Tamaki changing the subject to how happy she was for them, and ignoring Kiba blatantly the rest of the night._

Thinking about the night before Hinata studied Kiba and Tamaki again this time at work, her curiosity getting the better of her as she watched. Tamaki was speaking softly to him, and he watched as he leaned forward, presumably to hear her better, their heads lingered close and before she left Tamaki's hand slid across his arm and off as she turned around.

"Hm." she sighed, tapping her fingers together thoughtfully beneath the table. A buzz from her pocket made her jump and she glanced down at her phone to see Sasuke's text.

 _ **I need back up.**_

Surprised she stood, grabbing her sweater as she headed towards the door, puzzled. "Where are ya going?" Kiba asked as he came to sit down across her now empty seat. "Sasuke says he needs back up- there are new students in his class this term." She glanced up at him questioningly. "What do you think it-"

"It's probably a new girl student." Kiba smirked. "He has this affect on girls- but you already knew that..."

Blushing red Hinata shot her eyes to Tsunade's office which had a thankfully closed door, pouting a little she raised her chin at him. "I'm going to go see what my _colleague_ needs."

Unable to keep himself from smirking Kiba shook his head. "Uh huh. Sure."

Before she could get any more red Hinata stepped out, closing the door, aware that she had been unable to keep her mouth from turning up in an involuntary smile at his teasing.

Out the windows of the halls as she walked she could see the trees swaying in a cooling breeze. Summer was at an end and with the start of September she sighed, remembering her first frightened day at the school.

Recalling Sasuke's startled dark eyes on her she smiled. He had panicked, had dragged her around by the arm and been so incredibly rude but now as she looked back she could see herself with her hackles raised. Like a cat and a dog they had rotated around each other, growling.

Opening the door to the class she peered inside and drew in a slow deep breath to find Sasuke speaking rather urgently to a girl in uniform sitting right on his desk.

"Please get off my work surface. I have already asked you twice this morning, it's inappropriate and-" Hearing the door he turned sharply, a look of hardly restrained dislike on his face and then relief at the sight of her.

"Uchiha-san." Hinata felt the name roll of her tongue awkwardly as she slid the door closed. "Everything okay?"

"Could you please escort Terumi-san to the principals office?" Sasuke grumbled, motioning to the leggy teen who was sitting with her legs crossed rather suggestively, her eyes following Sasuke as he moved back. One pink tongue snapped out to lick the corner of her mouth, and something hot and sharp flickered in Hinata's stomach.

"Just getting acquainted, Uchiha-sensei." Terumi sighed sensually, sliding off the desk and straightening her skirt with her hands idly. "No need to get upset."

Sasuke glowered and then paused, seeing Hinata's expression as she followed Terumi's procession out the door.

"H-hyuuga-san-" He began, something about the tightness of her jaw making him start. Eyes trained on the girl Hinata moved to close the door. "I will be back shortly, Uchiha-san."

Slamming the door closed she moved down the hall quickly, her heels echoing with each hard step as she guided the student down the stairs towards Tsunade's office.

"It must be hard working with someone like Uchiha-sensei." Terumi sighed behind her, lazily playing with a lock of her auburn hair, twisting it round and round one long finger.

"Not really." Hinata lied stiffly, arriving at the teacher's lounge and motioning to a bench beside the doorway. "Please sit."

"You must be in love with someone then." Terumi continued with a sigh as she settled herself on the bench, crossing her long legs again. "I've not seen a teacher so handsome before- it's like being scalded."

She moved without thinking about it, crouching in front of Terumi to make them eye level Hinata smiled without humor or warmth, cocking head as she studied Terumi's surprised expression.

"There's appropriate things to say in places of work- such as school, and inappropriate things to say. And when a person knows which one is acceptable that shows maturity and grace." Her hand reached up, pushing a lock of Terumi's hair back from her face to see her eyes more clearly.

"Maturity is a huge sign of being able to appreciate beautiful things to their full potential." Her eyes lingered on Terumi intently. "I don't see a lot of maturity in you yet. And if I don't see it, I'm sure Uchiha-sensei also doesn't. So, instead of making a fool out of yourself perhaps you should think about ways to show the maturity and grace required to appreciate things so beautiful...that they scald."

For a long moment Terumi looked back at her, mouth pursed as she studied her young pretty teacher, pink cheeked and eyes sharp on her features.

"Oh." She sighed, her full mouth pulling into a knowing smile. "I see. Certainly. Thank you, Hyuuga-sensei."

"I will get Principal Tsunade." Hinata replied, her voice dropping any pretense of warmth as she stood. "Stay here, please."

"Will do, sensei." Terumi's knowing smile just widened as she leaned back on the bench, biting one long finger as she watched her teacher disappear inside the lounge.

As the door closed behind her Hinata took a deep shuddering breath, trying to loosen her quickly tightening jaw as she walked to the other side of the room and knocked impatiently on Tsuande's door.

Kiba watched from his place behind his computer, eyes surprised as animosity rolled off Hinata's little pretty frame in waves.

"...Hina-chan?"

Hinata didn't respond and as the door opened Tsunade-san blinked at her serious irritated expression. "There's a student outside." She murmured. "Uchiha-san thought it best to send her to you right away as she is pushing boundaries and we're not even past her first class." She cleared her throat lightly. "Excuse me."

Turning back around to go back upstairs she avoided making eye contact with the puzzled Tsunade and Kiba who watched her, and Terumi who smiled as she exited. Without even looking at her headed back up at the stairs again.

No sooner had she turned on the stair landing when she stopped, allowing herself a small frustrated smile.

Sasuke was waiting at the top of the stairs, head cocked mildly to the side at her, arms crossed as he leaned against the wall of one of the classes.

"Hyuuga-san." He murmured, watching her face bloom with surprise, a smirk beginning to play on his lips at the sight of her less than relaxed shoulders.

"Uchiha-san." She pressed her hands together behind herself, taking a step closer, but not too close. "You have a curse, I must admit."

"I would say so."

"It must be very irritating."

"Yes, although I think you're feeling as irritated as I usually am." He cocked his head the other way, studying her suddenly tightening jaw with growing amusement.

"What do you mean?"

"Was that jealousy I detected as you led away poor Terumi-san?"

"Poor?" Hinata's one word reply betrayed her dislike and startled she felt his hand around her wrist, dragging her hard to him, his lips coming down on her mouth and rendering her mute, safe for her startled and decidedly pleased gasp against his lips.

"I have got to speak with Tsunade-san before this gets out of hand." He whispered against her mouth, his hands pressing Hinata's frame hard against his.

"...th...that- yes...do that." Hinata gasped, pushing herself away forcefully, breathing deep to calm herself.

For a second they just studied each other in that hallway, and Hinata realized that exactly a year ago that day they had been in the same hall, alone, fighting in whispers.

A smirk spread over Sasuke's face just as she grinned and then buried her face in her hands sheepishly. "I have _got_ to go."

"Yes."

"Bye." And she was skipping down the steps, a smile playing on her face that refused to budge even when Terumi made eye contact with her, still lounging on the bench beside the teacher's lounge.

"Appreciating some beauty, Hyuuga-sensei?" She murmured softly as she studied her nails while Hinata's hand lingered on the door.

For a second Hinata didn't move, and then turning to her she smirked, more Uchiha than Hyuuga in that moment. "I was scalded by it." And she entered the lounge before Terumi could think of a reply.

* * *

She had arrived home from her afternoon class to find everyone had decided it was the kind of day for rice balls.

Kiba and Tamaki were at the table arguing about how to properly shape the balls, Kiba pointing out that making cat shaped ones seemed ridiculous and Tamaki throwing back that anything he did was ridiculous as there were literally no shape like Kiba's malformed lumps.

"Picked Plum, Picked Plum, Picked Plum!" Sora was shouting, bouncing up and down in the kitchen next to Sasuke who was trying to make her a pickled plum rice ball as fast as he could.

"Pickled, chibi." He corrected just as Hinata walked in the door, eyes wide. "Full house." She whispered. There were bodies everywhere, ingredients on every available surface and Haku had even set up a table cloth with a cutting board on top of it on the floor in the family room to roll his rice balls. The rice was still managing to get all over the carpet despite his attempts to be neat.

"Mama look! I made you a heart rice ball!" Haku cried, raising his mushy white shape up to Hinata from his place on the ground. Smiling broadly Hinata took it, bending down to give him a kiss on the nose. "Haku-kun, you're going to drive the girls crazy." she sighed.

"What girls?" Haku blinked confusedly, and Tamaki laughed. "Oh lord, with those eyes."

"Just like his Dad," Hinata murmured absently, running a hand through Haku's hair. Half paying attention half rolling another rice ball Haku looked up. "Which one?"

Blinking Hinata stared at him, aware suddenly of Sasuke growing still in the kitchen, dark eyes intent on them.

"...what... do you mean, baby?" She stared into Haku's face, watching curiousity linger with his distracted rice ball molding.

"Which daddy?" He frowned at her as though confused by her question. "That one or my first one?" He turned to Sasuke who stared at him, like a deer caught in the headlights.

"...Argh, my heart." Kiba gasped, flopping onto the floor next to Tamaki who was burying her face in her hands to hide the sudden tears springing to her eyes.

Together she and Sasuke had discussed what a wedding would mean for them, agreeing on simplicity, on a lack of fanfare and craziness, happy with just the right to call each other mine.

The kids had wandered through the house while they spoke, Haku watching with care that they had both missed when Sasuke's hands lingered on his mother's, remembering although vaguely the same smile on his Oka-san's face once upon a time when his father had bent down to kiss her. It had occurred to him then, that surely he was getting the new daddy he had asked for. It didn't seem complicated to him.

Puzzled he looked around, all the adults had grown quiet and besides Sora who was munching on her riceball without a care in the world he felt like he was suddenly the center of attention, his face coloring rapidly.

"...a...ano.." he whispered, shoulders hunching tightly. '...did I do something wrong?"

Hinata's tears glistened in her eyes as she shook her head. "No! Oh, Haku- no-" But before she could get another choked word out Sasuke was there, picking up the boy into a fierce hug that made Haku giggle a little as the air was pushed out of his lungs.

Glancing down he winced, seeing he had stepped into a little pile of rice on the carpet.

"We need a bigger house." he mused. Hinata just laughed through her tears, having words fail her completely.

* * *

Heading out the door that night there had been a lot of smiles and tears and even hugs, which wasn't usual for them. Kiba however had not allowed Sasuke to say no, patting his back hard with his embrace.

"You lucky bastard. I'm watching you though, fuck it up and I'll-"

"Yeah, yeah." Sasuke had sighed, allowing himself a quick pat on Kiba's back before pushing him away. "Get out."

Together he and Tamaki had wandered down the hall, Tamaki taking slow swaying steps down the stairs in front of Hinata's apartment.

It was a colder night than she had anticipated. Summer still seemed to linger in the morning but in the evening fall encroached on the wind, blowing in coolness that made her skin break out in goosebumps.

"I need to get my jackets out of storage." she mumbled, rubbing her bare arms roughly as she took another step.

Kiba glanced up at her and then promptly removed his own jacket, handing it to her without a word, looking lost in thought as he walked.

Tamaki took the offered item slowly, studying his face as she pulled the oversized article of clothing over her shoulders. "You seem thoughtful."

"I'm so happy for them, it's crazy." He sighed, rubbing a hand through his hair. "They're like snails when it comes to this stuff. She got here a year ago but I doubt it took him a month to feel like he does now."

"Wow." Tamaki mused, staying still on the step above him. "That's pretty fast."

"That's Sasuke." Kiba shrugged. "Doesn't do things by half measures." Realizing she wasn't moving with him he stopped a couple steps below her. "Hey- what's wrong?"

"It must be nice to have a family like that." She mumbled, her arms twisting behind her back as she thought, looking up at the black fall sky clear of clouds and sparkling.

Kiba studied her carefully, biting his lip. "Sure. I think that's what most people want, eventually."

"How about you?" Her eyes turned back to him and he blinked slowly, his heart stuttering the way that it had the moment her hips had come to rest on top of him last time they had been alone together.

"Do you do things by half measures?" Her voice was quiet as she grabbed hold of the railing to remove her heels.

"Not usually." He breathed, watching her step out of her shoes and barefoot onto the cement steps of the stairs. "You're going to freeze."

"I think I'd rather freeze." She mumbled. "My feet are killing me."

"Tamaki, you can't go home barefoot, you're half an hour away by train ride." He frowned, moving up a step closer to her. He could see her shiver in the cold and idly she pushed her hair from her face, turning her eyes back to him with a careless smile.

 _Half measures._ He bit his lip, considered telling her to climb onto his back, considered picking her up, pressing her against the door of the building, making her struggle to breathe...

Tamaki's smile faded, her eyes searching his intently. "...Kiba?"

"I'm not like Sasuke." He admitted, and Tamaki let her hand holding his jacket closed around her shoulders drop to her side as she studied him.

"...I'm glad for that."

"I can't have the same confidence he does..."

A frown fluttered over her face. "Why not?"

"Just can't." He started, feeling her fingers reaching for his, playing mildly with his digits, her eyes on his hand.

"Seems silly to me."

"You've been messing with my head a lot lately." He whispered, watching her eyes flicker up at him, a smile that was neither admitting guilt or denying it lingering on her mouth.

"Good." She watched as his breath hitched at her reply.

"You can't go home barefoot." Blinking she cocked her head. "I can't wear my shoes, they hurt a lot right now."

"...I live ten minutes away." He watched, transfixed as her cheeks reddened, something he had never seen happen before, brown eyes studying his expression, biting her lip hard.

"...okay..."

She was light when she climbed onto his back, and the feel of her legs tangled with his arms was soothing and dizzying at the same time. Her cheek warmed his neck, her soft breath tickling his hair. He could feel every aspect of her up against his spine, her small delicate hips, thighs pressed to him on his lower back, her stomach and chest curving against the solidity of his shoulders, her arms around his neck.

They didn't say another word, riding on the train in the evening in their strange position caused some stares but her giggle told him she didn't care. She wouldn't.

Sticking her tongue out at a pair of puzzled staring women on the platform he smirked, watching the exchange through the reflection in the train window.

But he felt it, even as she had smiled and seemed content as they approached his apartment, her body was starting to tremble.

His hand struggled with the lock, his fingers tripping until she took it from him, sliding the key in and turning even as she shivered.

The threshold stood there, dark as night in the contrasting light of the hall and Tamaki stared at it, her bare feet planted firmly just outside of the entry, her eyes slowly sliding to Kiba beside her.

He looked back at her gently, smiling a little. "Don't be scared. I'm not going to do anything, I promi-" but he couldn't keep going. His mouth was occupied with something else.

She was small and so up on tip toes she pressed her lips to his, arms wrapped around his neck to drag him down, first gentle, calm, chaste, just the brush of skin against skin, and an explosion of light in his mind at the smell of her hair tickling his face.

"You better do something, Inuzuka Kiba." she whispered, pressing her forehead to his. "You better."

"...you're sure." He could feel himself tightening, painful coils of contained energy starting along his neck, sliding down his back as his hands moved down her torso to her hips, feeling her shiver at the trailing touch.

He didn't really wait for an answer before he kissed her properly, lifting her into his arms with ease that left her breathless along with his kiss. Legs wrapping around his waist she leaned into his mouth, tasting him. Fingers dragging through his hair as he stepped into the apartment and slammed the door closed, pressing her hard against it, breath ragged in his throat at the feel of her exploring his neck with her mouth, her fingers already undoing his shirt buttons.

Struggling against the relentless feel of his need for her he lowered her to the floor, pressing his hands against the door, trying to slow himself down.

Startled he jumped as she lifted his hand to her back where the zipper of her dress was, blinking at him slowly in the dim light of the moon coming through his window.

"No half measures."

"...you... you're going to be the end of me." He whispered, pulling gently on the zipper, watching in awe as the fabric of her dress began to loosen it's hold on her shoulders.

Mouth rising to capture his she shivered, her fingers finally finding the smoothness of his stomach beneath his clothes, making him moan as her touch lingered at his belly button and then lowered inch by slow inch.

"...no...I'm the beginning."

He wasn't going to disagree, he could not disagree. All he could do gasp call her name, surprised, despite himself, to hear her moaning his.

* * *

"You're late." Sasuke muttered as Kiba practically fell into the teacher's lounge, his tie was not on correctly and breathless he dumped his bag on his desk, ripping it open to take his things out.

"Yeah,yeah, I am aware." He gasped, glancing at the curious eyes of the teachers who were calmly finishing up their cups of coffee having all arrived on time.

"You're literally never late." Sasuke continued, looking up at him and freezing, his eyes on Kiba's neck.

"Kiba."

"Yep?" Eyes down Inuzuka shifted through his folders, grabbing the lessons for his first class beginning any minute.

"...fix your shirt collar, now."

"...shit..." Without looking up still to meet his friend's gaze Kiba arranged his shirt and tightened his tie, glancing up when the obvious hickie was finally hidden. "Okay now?"

Sasuke was staring at him, dark eyes blatantly bewildered. "Was that a-?"

Leaning over the table Kiba grabbed his arm and pulled him in close, brown eyes wide in his face. "I cannot believe what happened last night." His whisper stated that he did indeed not believe it.

Staring Sasuke put two and two together and then smirked, giving him a light shove. "Oh thank god."

Startled Kiba blinked at him. "H-how do you know what I'm talking about right now?!"

The sound of the bell sounding suddenly made them both turn and still smirking broadly Sasuke sauntered out the door, leaving him at the desk still gathering his things, fighting the ridiculous grin that was threatening to take over his face permanently.

* * *

The day always went by more slowly when Hinata wasn't at work. They had only just started figuring out what their plan was and on her first day off she had cleaned the apartment from top to bottom, preparing to give notice of a move as soon as Sasuke found a house that he felt suited their needs.

The place was cozy that day, with the rain trickling soflty outside and the wind whispering from the sea sending it slanting first one way and then another against their window. Still a little unnerved by the rain Hinata had watched it with Sora asleep on her lap for the last half hour while their soup for dinner simmered on the stove, running her hand through her daughters soft blonde hair.

It still made her heart ache to see it coming down, cars driving by her road sending splashes of dirty water up from their tires, but it also reminded her of being in a hot shower, her chest pressed to Sasuke's and his arms around her, whispering into her ear.

It was strange, holding two emotions in her chest at once, but as she leaned back against the wall of the family room, gray eyes reflecting the wet day outside she had to admit, it was better than just having one miserable feeling alone.

The door to the apartment opened and Haku jumped up from his place at the table where he had been running cars along it's edge.

"He's home!" He gasped, hopping down the hall, making Hinata smile.

"I need to shower." Sasuke called from the hall. "I'm soaking the floor. It's a tsunami out there."

"I'll get some towels." Hinata called back, shifting Sora's limp form off her body onto the cushions on the ground.

"I got them, I got them!" Haku cried, running down the hall and around the corner to the closet in the family room. "I got them." Arms full of towels he headed back down the hall.

Just as she heard the door to the bathroom closing and Haku meandered back to the family room Hinata jumped, feeling her phone vibrate in her pocket.

Puzzled she pulled the device out, laying down on the ground beside her sleeping Sora to study the screen as an unknown number flashed on the device face with a text.

"Who...?" she began to herself slowly and then froze, standing abruptly, mouth parting with a surprise she couldn't contain and which was tinged with growing panic.

"No."

"Oka-san?" Haku blinked at her from his place on the ground.

Hinata kept staring at the device, her hand coming up to her forehead tiredly. A picture of the news headline with Haku's Missing Child picture came with the message, making her stomach drop to her toes.

 _ **Hinata, I hope you're home right now. We're heading there now from Tokyo Airport. This is your sister.**_

* * *

 _ **O_O**_

 _ **leave me some love, ne?**_

 _ **Inky**_


	25. Chapter 25

_**A.N**_

 _ **Last Chapter Kiddies, and then the very short not plot related Epilogue. This has been a rollercoaster.**_

 _ **About ten years ago I started Stronger, and then went right into Softer and Paint with Words like it was no biggie, no marathon, nothing. And then, feeling overly confident I signed up for the Three Day Writing Contest and pumped out an original novel of 200 pages in those three days. I didn't sleep, I barely ate, mostly I just behaved like an ink pen.**_

 _ **And then I think I must have broken my writing bone or something because following that craziness my writing died. And I tried, don't get me wrong, it's what brings me joy so I was rather upset by it's disappearance. I don't know what did it this last year that woke me back up, but now we're looking at a finished work in less than a month. Thank goodness.**_

 _ **I really want to thank everyone who reviewed. Even my darling flamers who I have to admit taught me something about myself ;) Everything that was suggested to me is taken very seriously and is still in consideration for my editing.**_

 _ **Many of you are asking me to inform you if I ever publish something- I may have blushed when I read that. I don't believe I have that kind of skill, unfortunately lol, but thank you so much, I was very flattered.**_

 _ **Much love,**_

 _ **Inky**_

* * *

 _Neji arrived sometime after the call. She wasn't sure when, she had not really been looking at anything. She had sat with the phone in her hand, staring at the picture on the screen of her blonde holding Haku on his shoulders and Sora in his hands. His grin had been sunshine, his blue eyes sparkling in the light. It had been a beautiful shot and she had had to lay down on the grass at the park to get it perfectly._

 _His words were soft, his tone still gentle, like on the phone. A part of her still functioning on some rational level noted the paleness of his lips, usually a light hardly visible pink had turned gray. His hair was damp, in tangles and his clothes dirty._

 _Hanabi was there too, her tears were confusing and as Hinata stared at her face and then that of her cousin she felt something inside her slowly shrivel up and die._

 _What was he saying?_

 _The sound was coming in echoes, warping as it reached her ears._

 _"...so..sorry...Hinata...Hinata, are you okay...I can't tell you...I...so fast..."_

 _So sorry. That's what he was saying, like when someone bumps into you on the sidewalk...like when you're just bruised._

 _"I'm so sorry, please forgive me."_

 _It happened in an instant._

 _Hanabi was struggling to hold her back, arms wrapped tightly around her waist, hauling her away with all her strength, screaming at her to stop. Hinata's nails felt painful and tight, sticky. She was screaming, sobbing and wailing all at once, thrashing and fighting in her sister's arms._

 _On the floor sat Neji, his hand to his face where blood poured, her nails having left gashes along the white pallor of his cheek. He stared, pale eyes wide and for the first time in her life she saw fear there and pain, swimming in those impassive orbs._

 _She was screaming, her shrieks so animal they made her sound wild, and Hanabi's voice broke forcefully through the thunder. "Neji! Neji go! Go!"_

 _He had dragged himself to his feet, still staring. The blood was leaving a smear of red against his skin that had the audacity to look like lipstick, as though a kiss could have been so painful._

 _"Go, please!" Hanabi was sobbing now too, fighting against her sister's thrashing body with everything she had._

 _Slowly he had stepped back, fading into the shadows of Hinata's house, where pictures of her children, and the blue brilliant eyes she loved so much were pinned, frames picked carefully, arranged with thought and affection._

 _He turned, he ran, back out into the rainstorm and as he did she screamed, words she had never said to anyone, words that left marks._

 _"I don't ever want to see you! Get out! Get out!"_

 _The sound of the door slamming closed had made her stop, gasping in her sister's grip until her knees gave out and together they crumbled to the floor, Hinata's hands gripping it for dear life as the world shifted, threatening to tumble her into the void of space where she would have to suffocate without his embrace._

Sasuke stared at the phone, complete confusion on his face. "Your sister?"

Hinata was packing, in earnest. At first he had been worried, but watching he could see the shake of nerves and the frantic twitch of her fingers as she tried to fold things and found it impossible. She wasn't going to go anywhere, it was just the need to do something.

"I have to go."

"Where?" He asked just for the sake of asking, knowing there would be no real answer.

"Um... I don't know, but I can't be here."

Carefully Sasuke pulled a clean shirt on after shaking off the water from his shower, watching as she shoved herself into a pair of jeans instead of the skirt she had been wearing, her little hop as she zipped up the front making his breath stagger a bit.

"It's going to be okay."

"I don't know. I... I don't know exactly what to do, I don't want to see them- oh...oh God, I..." Burying her hands into her hair she gasped. "What if my dad is with her?"

Suddenly things were not calm, and Sasuke wasn't as distracted by the top two undone buttons on her shirt.

"Your father?"

Her eyes traveled to his for a second, and the usually impassive expression on his face couldn't hide the little bit of panic now making it's way into his eyes. Startled by it she stared back, trying not to say how much she hoped it was her father and not her cousin who accompanied her sister.

"They're going to want me to go home."

Frowning Sasuke sat on her bed, taking a deep breath but waiting. "How did they find you?"

Slowly Hinata walked over, and trembling despite herself she placed a hand on his dark hair, feeling the silk through her fingers, watching the blues shimmer through the locks.

"...Haku was in the news." she whispered, pressing a hand to her face again. "Ugh."

"I don't think this could get any better," Sasuke murmured against the fabric of her shirt, and suddenly a knock on the front door echoed.

"Is it Uncle Kiba?" Haku called and Hinata jumped from her frozen place in Sasuke's arms, eyes wide. "Haku! Haku wait!"

But his little feet were pattering down the hall, and as Hinata stepped out of the room he flung open the door. Pale gray eyes raced past the jumping little face to the startled twin gaze on the threshold of her apartment.

" _Uncle Neji!_ "

Haku's delight could not be louder, and behind her still sitting on her disheveled bed Sasuke leaned back, smirking at karma without humor. "And it just got better."

* * *

She had changed.

Standing in the hall of the tiny apartment he could see the changes like the scars that traced down the curve of his own cheek. She was standing tall, her hands balled at her fists. And she had lost a lot of weight, too much in fact, he felt.

Her hair was longer, and as she stared at him her jaw tightened in a way he thought was uncharacteristic except for that, the last time they had seen each other nothing about their interaction had been true to Hinata's character. His little cousin, his hime.

"Hinata..." he breathed and he watched as she dragged in a slow breath, her eyes lighting on the scars that traced down the line of his face, and worriedly he clenched his jaw, watching tears fill her gaze.

What had she said to him that night?

 _I don't ever want to see you!_

Abruptly she moved forward, three long steps towards him and to his shame he felt himself tense, unsure of what was coming until her arms wrapped around him and he felt the impact of her body against his, her chest heaving.

"...Neji-nii..."

Beside him Hanabi leaned against the door frame, smirking. "Told you she'd want to see you."

Burying his face into her hair he breathed, stupefied by the fact that he had a fistful of tears clogging his throat as he squeezed her to him.

"I'm sorry." She was whispering it over and over. "I'm sorry."

Hanabi grinned, rubbing at the unlikely tears at the corners of her eyes before bending down to Haku. "I missed you, hun." she whispered and Haku smiled shyly at her, his blue eyes curious as he studied the exchange.

"How did you... how did you know where I lived?" Hinata finally sniffed, pulling back to look at her cousin, her hand reaching up to trace the pale lines on his cheek, face crumbling. "I'm so sorry, Neji-nii..."

"Stop." He shook his head, taking her hand and gripping it tightly. "Stop."

"We heard he had an adventure." Hanabi murmured from below, placing a hand gently on Haku's head before standing and looking at her sister. "I just happened to see it online, I was looking for your name in cities in the States. Didn't take long to contact the news network that published the article-" she stopped abruptly, her eyes flickering down the hall where Sasuke stepped out of a doorway, dark eyes pensive as he studied the three Hyuuga in the entryway.

Neji tensed beside Hinata, gray eyes wide. "...Uchiha?"

"What?" Hanabi started, mouth opening to a wide O of surprise.

"Um..." Hinata began slowly, looking back at them and then at Sasuke. "...there's some...things I should probably tell you..."

"Please." Hanabi agreed, her gray eyes lingering on the Uchiha for a half a second longer turning to her sister with a wide envious smirk.

* * *

It was not going well.

What should have been a reunion with tears, and forgiveness and joy there was something else in the air. Hanabi couldn't put her finger on it. She wanted to call it tension from a lack of a better word but in reality she probably had to admit it was more like testosterone.

Lots of it.

"Since when?" Neji's voice on the outside sounded calm, too calm. It was smooth and the resonance was just right for a collected adult conversation. Except for that the enunciation was entirely too precise, his jaw clenching at the end.

Sasuke seemed unperturbed by the subtle threat, leaning against the kitchen counter with Sora on his hip like she had grown there all along.

"Does it matter?" Hinata intervened abruptly, her fingers fiddling with a napkin from the tea she had served on the table. "Neji-nii-san..."

"You do know what he's done, correct?" Neji's gaze dragged itself off of Sasuke's slightly smug expression to Hinata. Her pale eyes blinked at him from her place on the floor, knees tucked under her neatly, her fingers twitching a little as they folded the paper napkin for the fourth time.

"You mean that time he punched you?" she sounded genuinely confused, and Neji's flinch was matched by Sasuke's twitching lips.

"Punching bad." Sora gasped. "No punching!" Her mouth pouted pink and plump as she looked at her Uncle Neji.

For a second Hanabi laughed, and Neji's eyes softened on his niece, her usual cuteness making the whole world lose it's hard edges and become bubbly and delicate.

If only for a second.

"I mean the way he liquidated the fortune his family had taken generations to accumulate and disappeared without so much as assigning a caregiver to the Uchiha properties in Konoha. Plots of the town are going to waste because no one has been able to get a hold of him for years. And before that he was-"

"I think we get the picture." Hanabi intervened, watching curiously as Hinata's face began to redden, and not she thought, in humiliation.

"The point of this conversation?" Sasuke inquired lazily, cocking his head a little at the Hyuuga.

Neji clenched his jaw rhythmically for a moment, turning away from him and towards his cousin. "Hinata." His voice grew soft, and quiet. "You should be home. The family, your father has been anxious since you disappeared- and then hearing about Haku on the news..." His eyes searched her face. "Uncle Hiashi is not as young as he used to be. He misses his grandchildren."

Sasuke was putting Sora down, and Hanabi watched with growing alarm as he slowly straightened her floppy bow on her hair before standing and turning to Neji, jaw growing as tight as her cousins. "Let me get this straight..." he began slowly.

Moving to stand as the two men faced off Hanabi froze, surprised when Hinata put her tea cup on the table with alarming force, making it clatter on the saucer.

"I need cinnamon rolls." She blinked as everyone turned to look at her. Slowly she pressed one long pale finger to her mouth. "I really do. I need at least two for me, and then we're..." she glanced around. "One, two, three, four... and Haku will want one and Sora will too even though she won't finish so we need at least eight, in case I want three instead of just two." She looked at her cousin and then at Sasuke. "P-please."

Sasuke's dark eyes seemed to be looking at her with impassiveness but as Hanabi stared she blinked in amusement as his lips pulled to a smirk and the corners of his eyes crinkled, if only a little.

"Eight?" Sasuke inquired, sliding his wallet from the counter and into his pocket.

"Yes, please. Unless you want two as well."

"No." He shook his head, moving down the hall.

Neji blinked rapidly back and forth between his cousin and the Uchiha, confusion lighting his face like a flame. "What-?" He began.

"Go." Hinata waved him towards the door. "I need cinnamon rolls."

Flabbergasted he stared at her for a long minute, until Sasuke's soft. "Hyuuga." Came from down the hall. Glancing at Hanabi who was watching it all with steadily wider eyes he marched down the hall and disappeared out the door with the one guy in all of Japan he wanted to beat with a bat.

As the door closed Hinata let out a sigh and rubbed her face. "I should have said 12 cinnamon rolls." She whispered, and Hanabi finally burst out laughing.

* * *

"What was that?" Neji finally snapped after a long awkward silence extended between himself and the Uchiha.

Outside the sky was already a blackening purple blue and despite the heavy traffic the quiet was starting to descend on the city, a soft muted hum that it never seemed to be able to get rid of.

"She wanted us out of the house." Sasuke explained, a little irritated. "I thought you two could communicate telepathically, weren't you attached at the hip in school?"

Flinching at the comment Neji tried to keep his walk from turning into an angry stalk beside him, hands bunched in the pockets of his coat as he followed down the sharp incline towards the train station at the bottom of the hill.

"Why would she not just say that?"

Sasuke's blank expression made him wince again.

Irritated, Neji turned away. "...right." _She's Hinata. That's why_.

"Why her? I don't understand how you even come into the picture. You had been gone for years." Neji continued, and Sasuke let out a long breath. "If I knew I'd tell you."

"How did you even know she was here?" Neji's tongue was loosened. Seeing his cousin and niece and nephew again after worrying about them every day for the last year was the most relieving thing he had had happen in the last 12 months, and now he was having the most anxiety causing thing happen instantly after. He was dizzy, if not a little sick.

"I didn't. They just showed up." Sasuke almost shrugged. "I was here first, had been for a while."

"It's... a coincidence?" There was such a heavy lack of belief in that sentence that Sasuke bothered to glance at him disdainfully. Neji's expression wasn't much kinder. "You actually expect me to believe that?"

As they approached the station the influx of people began to grow, and together they wove through the bodies. Thankful for the interruption Sasuke meandered down the street where he knew the bakery Hinata loved was situated. The tiny shop was about the size of a large walk in closet, and it made only 5 things. One of them was cinnamon rolls, and out of the 5 things they made nothing was less than delicious. The rolls were the perfect size, and Sasuke had seen Hinata's eyes light up when offered one before. If only for that he would always walk down the hill to get them, just for that one moment.

While he asked for the treats Neji waited behind him, watching with confusion as the Uchiha he had wanted to strangle on more than one occasion growing up handled a request by the one person in his life Neji felt he owed the most.

As he paid Sasuke glanced at him again, as if remembering he was there. "You actually think I waited until Naruto was dead to make a move on his widow?" His eyes didn't seem to have that calm, collected "I don't give a fuck" expression for a second, and Neji felt himself tense.

"I do wonder what happened there."

Standing in front of the bakery Sasuke stared at him, black eyes becoming less amused by the second.

"Are you wondering if I made the flats flood that day too?" His body language screamed relaxation but his voice was razor sharp and Neji refused, despite a moment of trepidation to lower his gaze. "Were you in contact with her before he died?"

One slow small shake of his head and Sasuke took a step towards him. "Whether I was, or wasn't... the point is, she's mine. Willingly, happily mine, and nothing about that boggles anyone's mind more than my own."

Nose flaring Neji glared back, unimpressed. "At least you know you're not good enough for her, one less thing for me to drive home."

Irritated and looking to offend Sasuke scoffed. "That's not what she says at night."

The punch was not unexpected, although Sasuke really should have at least tried to move. The impact was solid and with a grunt he stepped back, liftinig his arm to his lip where he felt blood was already pooling.

Neji cracked his knuckles experimentally, gaze lowering to Sasuke's own with determination. "Say anything like that again and I'll-"

"That's the one blow I'm letting you have free." Sasuke interuptted, spitting a mouthful of blood onto the sidewalk with distaste. His eyes flickered briefly over the wide eyed passersby. "I wouldn't want her with me either, if I were you."

Surprise derailed the murderous expression on Neji's face and Sasuke almost scoffed again with distaste. "I'm not an idiot, Hyuuga. I may be a -"

"Teme." Neji sighed, remembering. "You're a teme but you're not an idiot."

Blinking rapidly at him Sasuke felt his shoulders lower and relax. "...he talked to you about me."

"All the time. Wouldn't shut up." Neji frowned. "Made me wonder sometimes."

Something about the seriousness on his face when he said that made Sasuke actually smirk. "I care about her." He paused, realizing he had not said this to anyone but her before. "I love her. I didn't mean to...do that... but I do."

Thoroughly dumbfounded Neji frowned at him and the blood that was staining his chin. "Sora's going to kill me."

"I hope so." Sasuke grunted as they turned back to walk home.

* * *

"How? And tell me quickly, before they come back." Hanabi grabbed Sora around the waist and made her giggle with a tickle to her belly briefly.

Hinata sighed, studying her sister carefully. She was a young woman now for sure, impatient and ruthless as always but older.

"I'm not really sure how it happened..." she breathed, moving to clear up the tea things. Hanabi watched her, frowning. "You were drunk then? How would you not know how it happened?"

"It's a really long story... I don't know when it started, honestly." Hinata tried to think back, puzzlement tingeing her voice as she went through her memories slowly, stopping at the moment when wrapped in a purple kimono with tears running down her face and fireworks were exploding above, she had looked at him and felt his hand on her cheek.

What had he said?

 _"I envy him too."_

"Oh." She whispered, eyes widening.

Hanabi leaned forward. "Oh?"

"I-i-it's a really long story."

"Summarize then!"

Frowning at her Hinata began to slowly wash the dishes, recalling again one of the many reasons that she had left the safety and familiarity of Konoha and her family.

"Hanabi. I'm...this is pretty new for me, I haven't had a lot of time to process it..."

Her sister stared at her, watching the long smooth movements of her arms as she handled the delicate china, her eyes flickering through the apartment again, noting touches of her sister that had been missing from her life for a year.

The note she had left in her house the day of her disappearance had been brief. It had detailed what she wanted done to the house (sell it, liquidate anything inside, donate the rest), that she did not want to be contacted by anyone, that they were safe and that if something were to happen to them they would be informed.

That had obviously not gone well with their family- especially Hiashi.

"You took off, without so much as a call." Hanabi finally threw out there, glancing at the kids who were busily bouncing around in their bedroom. "I think, the least you could do is answer some of my questions."

Hinata's hands slowed and then stopped moving among the soapy bubbles in the sink, her eyes lowered.

"What do you want to know? I left, I came here, I found him..." she pulled her hands out of the liquid, drying them on the towel by the stove. "Without him I don't think I would have survived."

"What about us?" Hanabi's voice was wounded, her eyes searching for a way to understand.

"I couldn't..." Hinata breathed softly, turning her pale eyes to her sister for the first time in a few minutes, watching the angry hurt tears pooling in her gaze. "Hanabi... everyone knew what happened, they all asked, everyone treated us like we were made of glass. You can't live in a place like Konoha and belong to the family we belong to and-"

"But we were all there- we were all grieving with you!"

A scoff, a sound that she had never heard her sister use before made her stop. "I did what I did because I had to." Her eyes didn't lower, there was no stutter. "And I do not regret it."

"...you're not going back." Hanabi's whisper was hard to read and Hinata wondered if there was actual sadness there or just plain disbelief.

"No."

The sound of the door opening made them jump and turn back to the hall.

"It's all over your shirt." Neji's voice was mumbling. Hanabi and Hinata's eyes met for only a second and then sighing HInata nodded to the closet behind her. "There's towels there, can you pass it to him please?"

"Which one of you is bleeding?" Hanabi growled, ripping open the closet and moving to the hall where Sasuke was promptly ripping off his shirt.

"Oh my, big sister." Hanabi sighed a little wistfully, her eyes lingering over her new brother in law. "I think I get it."

"Hanabi." Hinata's voice was surprisingly flat, and smirking, her little sister tossed a towel at the slightly ruffled looking Uchiha. "Did you get the cinnamon rolls?"

"Yes." Neji muttered, giving her a look that was less than impressed.

From the kitchen Hinata's voice called. "How many?"

Sasuke's smirk made Hanabi pause, a funny smile lighting her face. "Twelve."

* * *

The mission had been a failure. The Hyuuga's lingered in Japan for nearly a week, Neji continually trying to convince Hinata that it was time to come home, to see family, to return to her normal way of life.

But Hinata just frowned at him, her expression unmoved by his supplications. Her delight at his appearance, her affection and apology were steadfast, like her resolve to stay here.

"You have ties to Konoha." Neji finally gave in, trying to persuade not Hinata, but Sasuke. The Uchiha looked at him as the family walked along to the airport, Sora and Haku clinging to their Aunt's hands tightly.

"Don't you think it's best for her to raise her kids near her family?"

"You must be pretty desperate if you're trying to convince me." Sasuke muttered, watching as Hanabi and Hinata approached the boarding counter, Hinata's eyes bright with tears.

"She needs to go home- even if just... to say goodbey properly." Neji's pale gaze didn't deviate from the Uchiha's face. "You must know by now... how important that is, surely."

A sigh escaped Sasuke as he stared back at him, an ache he had not felt in some time rolling in his chest, as familiar as it was disliked. What would he give now, to have a chance to say good bye to that stupid blonde?

"I will try." He muttered, glancing over at the only thing that made him ache worse than the thought of his friend. "Maybe Christmas."

"Thank you." Neji had no qualms in that moment with showing his gratitude, his hand pressed hard to Sasuke's arm. "Thank you, Uchiha."

Surprised by the expression Sasuke blinked at him momentarily, watching as he moved to his cousin, wrapping her in a hug that was hard enough to draw a gasp from her lips.

Together Sasuke and Hinata watched them go, her hand tight on his, and he watched as tears trickled down her face, worry nagging at his mind.

"...wouldn't you be happier...with them?" The question escaped him before he had really formulated it in his mind and Hinata didn't seem surprised, her eyes never leaving her cousin and sister as they stepped through the exit, glancing back once more to wave before disappearing.

"If I wanted to go, I would." She whispered, turning her gaze to him finally, smiling through her tears with ease. "I know what I want."

Sasuke's dark eyes searched her intently, looking for that never present lie.

 _Kiba was right._

* * *

 _ **Two and a Half Months Later**_

The house was full.

They had originally planned to go to the cemetery, to go together with all of Naruto's friends and bring flowers, but Haku had said something that had brought both Hinata and Sasuke to a stand still, listening to his little voice with interest, and tears.

 _"I think Daddy probably misses having ramen with us the most."_ He had thought out loud, drawing pictures in the fog that covered the glass in the living room. _"I think that's what he would like, to have ramen with us."_

So the house was full, despite Hinata's trepidation at being back in the home that she had shared with the blonde. He was everywhere. There were sticky notes with happy faces and his crazy mess of handwriting stuck to the fridge, to the mirrors, messages for his wife, his beloved, his everything.

Sasuke had thought he wouldn't be able to handle it but the curiosity was overwhelming more so than the pain. And Hinata's worry, her hands on his, her eyes searching his face, her lips kissing his tears had been surprisingly effective. What had Kiba said?

 _She's good at fixing things._

So the house was full, Naruto's house. Outside the darkness ate away at the ice, and only the light from the windows pouring out allowed there to be anything but shadows.

The kitchen was a steamy mess of boiling noodles and fried pork and chopped scallions, Hinata's little voice calling out "Order up!" Whenever a bowl of ramen was finished. Neji, Hanabi, and many of the people he had grown up with and attempted to not think about crowded the house, littering the living room, the halls, the dining room, the bar stools at the kitchen island.

He stood back, watching, looking through the crowd and feeling a strange deja vu of expecting to see him, blue eyes grinning as much as his lips at the sight of him.

 _"Teme! Where the fuck have you been!? Come here!"_

He would have hugged him hard, would have smacked him harder. An ache throbbed for a second in Sasuke's chest and he breathed in deep to dispel it. They couldn't stay here, he could see the same pain flash through Hinata's face whenever her eyes lingered on a picture on the walls, or when she first entered the house with their suitcases in hand, her knees wobbly as her voice. They couldn't stay here, but it was good, to come and say good bye.

Distracting him suddenly from studying the shifting crowd of people gathered to remember the blonde Sasuke turned, watching as Hanabi put a hand to HInata's back, studying her face intently. Hinata was breathing slowly, her fingers pressed to her mouth and her skin a little green.

She had been throwing up so much lately. He had begged her to see a doctor but with moving into a new house, selling his apartment, preparing for the trip back home to visit her family, and the fear of facing everything that came with it he had not really been surprised she had been puking. He had been feeling a little nauseaus on several occasions himself.

"Are you okay?" He leaned against the fridge, watching her gather herself and slow her breathing down to a reasonable pace, her gray eyes lifting to him and brightening. It never failed to surprise him how much she smiled at the sight of him. A gift she didn't know she gave with a simple flutter of her lashes.

"Yes... I think so."

Hanabi smirked and patted her back gently, nodding towards little Sora sitting on the island stool with Uncle Neji behind her to keep her from tumbling off. "Last time you were throwing up like that you were..." and she drifted off, turning her gaze to her new brother in law with a knowing smug glint in her eye.

Sasuke stared at her, unsure of what she meant, looking back and forth between Hinata and Hanabi, watching as Hinata's face went from green, to deathly white, her eyes widening, her back straightening as she looked at him.

"...What?" He was scared. "What's wrong?"

Hanabi's hands pressed to her face, as if containing a scream.

"What the hell is happening?" Sasuke snapped, grabbing Hinata's arm to steady her. "Hinata?"

"I'm..." she began, and felt as all the eyes in the room turned to look at her, her whisper seeming to quiet the chatter, or perhaps Sasuke's panicky demands did, who knew.

"You're what?" Searching her face nervously Sasuke squeezed her arm. "Hina, what's the matter?"

"I'm pregnant."

A silence descended on the house for a moment as everyone digested this, and Sasuke's mind flat lined, a thousand memories of her begging him for cinnamon buns, and yet unable to keep food down for months fluttered through his mind. The way she had complained that her simple white knee length wedding dress didn't fit her because she had lost another five pounds just a month ago, and yet her shirts wouldn't button at the front, her confusion marred only by his appreciative smirk that she needed new bigger bras.

"You're..." he stuttered, and jumped as Sora scrambled onto the counter in her little pink dress, her chopsticks raised high. "New baby!?"

The scream made laughter explode, and despite Neji's queasy look he smiled at his cousin who was staring at her husband in wide eyed wonder. "I didn't think to check! I was... I was so busy!"

"You're... you're sure?"

"I... I think so, I didn't even-" she paused, startled by his mouth over hers, his kiss hard and breathtaking, accompanied by whoops and whistles from Shikamaru and Temari, Hanabi's excited giggles sprinkled through the chaos.

"More babies." Haku sighed from the counter, looking dreamily at his mom and dad, swinging his feet happily. "I like babies."

"You're happy." Hinata's voice whispered into his ear and he kept his eyes closed, so that in the darkness he could focus on the feel of her, soft and small in his arms, her heart beating and feeding the new beautiful thing inside her.

It wasn't a question she was asking, and for that he was thankful, because yes. He was happy.

Terrified, but happy.

Just like Naruto had said it would be.

* * *

The letter was tucked away in the office that Naruto had used for work, and Hinata had taken it, passed it to Sasuke as they boarded the plane to go home, the kids skipping with delight that they would be returned to their daycare, to their new house, to their Uncle Kiba and Aunty Tamaki.

He had read it on the flight, and she had pressed her lips to his tear stained cheek, pushing his hands to the almost curve of her belly where soon someone new would be fluttering and moving with delight at being loved.

 _I've decided to stop writing to you because I'm going to find you. Out there somewhere, that's where you are. Out there. And I'll be damned if I go the rest of my life wondering if maybe you need me. Maybe you're not okay._

 _I haven't spoken to Hinata about it, but eventually she will understand. One day she will get it. She's too good not to. I worry about you, about your drinking and the fact that you could be wasting away, the shame of that just eats me up, Sasuke. It has for years and I just can't. I can't keep ignoring it. I don't give up on people. I just don't. So whether you like it or not I am going to find you. We'll bleed a little and then somehow or other we'll figure this shit out._

 _I can't live the rest of my life wondering if you need me and wondering if you're okay. I want to make sure._

 _I know shit happened. I know you've things to run from but fuck it. I'm not one of those things._

 _I want joy for you, like I want it for Hinata, and for my kids._

 _You're my brother, you may not think so but you are. You have family._

 _My family._

 _I don't give up on or stop loving family so you're screwed. You're stuck with me. I'll find you. And even if I can't drag you back at least you'll know you're loved. Despite the bloody nose I'll give you. Maybe a broken nose would help you look less pretty. I may be doing you a favor._

 _Your brother always,_

 _Naruto_

 _P.S_

 _I hope you feel a little guilty about all the shit storm of worry that you've caused me. Seriously. Because if you do feel guilty that can only mean one thing, and that's that despite all your crap you do care, just like I always thought, and you're in fact worth chasing after all. Teme._

 _I'll see you soon._

* * *

 _ **A.N**_

 _ **So this is over.**_

 _ **It didn't want to go on. Something about stories and me... I guess they give up near the end, they sigh in defeat, they lay down, they die.**_

 _ **I spent about a week looking at this chapter, rewriting it, editing it, reading it again.**_

 _ **I know it's not right. There is too much jumping around, there is nothing about Tamaki and Kiba, there is no mention of the kids and their changes...**_

 _ **But I think it needed to be done so I could let it go, and maybe when I am going through the editing something about the start will come back to the end.**_

 _ **Sorry guys. That was a lot of build up for a lousy ending.**_

 _ **Thank you everyone for the support during this story. It has been a lot of fun, but I'm sad. I hate it when stories die... :(**_

 _ **Much love,**_

 _ **Inky**_


	26. Chapter 26

_**A.N**_

 _ **The end of a story.**_

 _ **I am trying to keep another one from being thought up. I need a break this has been a full on sprint for me and I'm tired. O_o.**_

 _ **My hope is that Paint With Words will be finished, and after that I can relax a bit to think about whether another story is festering in there somewhere.**_

 _ **To those of you reviewing, thank you so much. I'm glad that this was enjoyed by so many.**_

 _ **If you review after the final chapter, chances are I haven't looked at the review and if you review without a user name I can't really answer. Best thing you can do is PM me I suppose, if you want to actually get a reply.**_

 _ **Much love,**_

 _ **Inky**_

 _ **P.S**_

 _ **This chapter is just because I dreamed it, and it made me smile.**_

 _ **Epilogue: Mornings at the Uchiha House**_

* * *

She woke to the sound of a voice, distant and far away, echoing through the hall, knocking past the door, and into her room. It was soft, whispering, and gentle, and she found herself curling further into her blankets, her blonde hair a beautiful mess of golds and yellows in thick curling locks across her blankets.

Sleepily one sparkling blue eye opened and the blonde stretched, cat like in the warmth of her bed, blinking through the grip of laziness that bound her to her covers.

Until the voice which had been so distant and far away suddenly gained strength and proximity, coming into focus as her brain slowly ebbed into wakefulness.

"Sora! You're going to be late for school _again!_ "

With a gasp she fell out of bed, her blankets, pillows and multiple stuffed animals crumbling into a pile on her carpet. With an "eep!" she shot out of the mess and into her bathroom, brushing her teeth, and hair with each hand, eyes wide and panicked.

"Sora!" Hinata called from the bottom of the stairs.

"I'm coming!" Her uniform was not fitting, it was not fitting, why oh why was this stupid thing not fitting? With a deep breath she shoved herself into her skirt, staring at her hips in the mirror. Since turning 15 everything had been changing, from her cup size to her hip size and now again she was finding that her uniform needed another adjustment, this time to the length. Her legs kept getting longer and as a result the skirt seemed as though it was getting shorter.

Breathless she fumbled with the buttons on her white blouse, throwing a sweater over the fact that it too was having a hard time holding the boobs she had just gained over summer break in place and with a tug to her high socks she stumbled, tripped and rolled down the last few steps, ending on her bum, flushed and breathless.

"Owwwwie... Oka-san..." her whine was soft and from the hall she saw a black head of hair and identical blue eyes to her own lean over in a chair, peering at her.

"She slipped again." Haku muttered, moving to sit back at the table calmly, his chopsticks pulling ramen up high to cool before he began quietly slurping.

"Thanks a lot, baka." Sora gasped, shoving herself to her feet dizzily. "Some brother you are, didn't even come check if I died."

Rubbing her bum and head she stumbled into the kitchen where Haku sat, not even bothering to look at her as he ate his breakfast.

"I checked the first dozen times it happened." He replied, and as his blue eyes opened and he peered at Sora from beneath his black hair she blinked, remembering again how much like Daddy's picture he looked like now. Save for the hair they might as well have been the same person. And just like she thought, the girls at school were crazy over the serious gentle mannered blue eyed Haku. It always made her smirk to see them swooning when he smiled.

Beside him sat their Otousan, who made her break into a smile as she sauntered over, smooching him sloppily on the cheek before plopping on the chair beside him.

"Anything broken?" Sasuke inquired calmly, wiping her lip gloss of his cheek absently as he peered up from the book in his hand.

"No, but thank you for asking, Otousan." she grinned, and then stuck her tongue out at her brother beside him.

"So ladylike." Haku sighed, shaking his head.

"She'll grow into it." Hinata called from the kitchen, smirking much like Sasuke did she shifted her eyes away from Haku, moving instead to serve the eggs onto two plates.

"Are you sure you won't have something else for breakfast?" She sighed, bringing the kettle around to the bowl of ramen sitting between her and Sasuke's breakfast plates.

Sora leaned back in her chair, balancing on the two back legs precariously to look upside down at her mother. Her curtain of blonde tumbled down her back and nearly to her butt, blue eyes smiled at her from her awkward position.

"But we like ramen, Oka-san."

"Scurvy." Sasuke muttered.

"Malnutrition." Hinata sighed.

"Starvation." Sasuke finished.

"It's not starvation if we're full." Haku's reply was quick and before anyone could argue he was up, taking his plate to the sink before kissing his mother on the cheek and heading towards the door. "See you guys later, love you!" Even in his grown tenor voice his good bye always made Hinata smile painfully.

"Y-you're not going to wait for me!?" Sora's chair slammed back to the ground, causing the table to jostle hard and Sasuke primly picked up his coffee cup before anything spilled out of it, not even bothering to look up as she shoved herself to her feet, grabbed an apple with a soft whimper of sadness at her abandoned ramen before blowing kisses at her parents while dashing out the door.

"Be safe!" Hinata called from the kitchen, leaning over the counter, her black braid swinging as she peered down the hall and watched her kids step out into the bright August morning.

"I wish they would eat something else sometimes." She muttered, walking around to place the breakfast plates on the table for herself and Sasuke, who finally put his book down, fixing her with dark knowing eyes. " _He_ survived into adulthood on pretty much nothing else. They'll be fine. And Sora keeps growing like a weed." He muttered a little more darkly. "That skirt-"

Smiling broadly now Hinata stirred her tea. "I'll buy her a longer one this afternoon."

"Please," Sasuke sighed, rubbing at the worry frown between his brows with one finger, trying to dispel the growing signs of sheer terror that his kids seemed determined to inflict on his poor tired mind.

Delicately Hinata leaned over the table, grabbing him by the shirt and dragging him in hard to kiss her. Startled but not at all against the action Sasuke breathed her in, tasting the honey of her tea on her tongue.

"The fact that you worry about them all the time makes me want to kiss you all over." she breathed, and Sasuke stared at her, as dazed as he had been the first time he'd kissed her.

"I have exactly fifteen minutes before I have to go."

"Ten before the twins wake up." Hinata countered, gray eyes studying him thoughtfully, as if sizing him up.

It didn't matter how comfortable she got, her cheeks were still red, her fingers shaky.

"Ten minutes might be a challange." she whispered, already feeling his fingers unbuttoning her shirt.

"I like challenges." Sasuke breathed against her mouth, and it was the last thing he said for at least the next ten minutes...

Just like almost every morning for the last ten years.

 _ **The End**_


	27. justforfun

**_Hello_**

 ** _So. I was up all night. Haku had insomnia in my head so I did too._**

 ** _This was written for NewRageInc because it seems I am selfish if I keep teen Haku to myself. ;) So here he is._**

 ** _I took A LOT of liberties. There's OCs everywhere, don't read if you don't like, I really don't mind. It's not that interesting._**

 ** _There's only mention of Hina in here, no appearance. Just so everyone knows. Don't flame me, I'm just having fun!_**

 ** _much love,_**

 ** _Inky_**

* * *

"No."

"Aaaaaaw, please." Sora's blue eyes could not have got any bigger, for good measure a few delicate tears made of diamonds and starlight appear at the edges, decorating her long lashes. One full pink bottom lip pouted perfectly.

Sasuke stared at her for a moment, struggling against the almost planetary pull of his only daughter, grocery list in one hand, frown on the face.

"No." With some effort, but firm he managed, wondering if he had broken out in a sweat from the strain.

"Otousan!"

"Sora, you're going to deafen everyone in the building." Haku commented from a crouch near the shelf, he cocked his head at one of the bags of flour. "Ten pounds, Otousan. Okasan said eight pounds? Do they make eight pound bags?" He blinked at the shelf, scanning it again with his blue eyes for smaller bags of the white powder his mother used to make their breads.

"Eight pounds." Sasuke sighed, eyeing the grocery list on the pink paper in his hand. "You know, maybe I should just call her."

"The 50 ramen pack is on sale though." Sora continued, ignoring the conversation her brother and father were having. "On sale. It would last me like... a week." She let her eyes unfocus for a minute as she counted on her fingers. "Yeah, like a week."

"It would not just be for you." Haku raised an eyebrow at his sister sardonically and straightened. "It wouldn't last a week. It's not even on a very good sale."

"A week?" Sasuke finally seemed to hear what was being said. "A 50 pack of ramen and only one week?" He stared at them, dark eyes crinkling at the corners with amused dislike. "Guys."

"Three meals a day." Sora began, taking on a very serious tone as she showed him three fingers. "Seven days a week, that's 21 meals, and since there's two of us that's 42 meals and since there's also after school snack that's..."

"That's a lot of health issues." Sasuke continued walking around the corner of the aisle, frowning again at the grocery list in his hand.

Above the din of the super market music played softly and if he listened hard he could hear the voices of his twins further on the other side of the store. Naruto was, as per usual was bothering Itachi.

"Please go and find your brothers before they-" He began and then stopped hearing the crumbling of something crashing to the ground and the sound of a woman's terrified scream. Closing his eyes he sighed.

"On it." Haku muttered, running past him down the meat aisle. Sora made a face and when Sasuke opened one eye to glance at her she wrinkled her nose at him in her usual way. He let out another sigh, this one more lovesick than annoyed. "Someday that cute has to run out." He grumbled, pinching her cheek before starting with her after her brother.

* * *

Haku came on the scene at the worst possible moment, just in time to see his usually well behaved ten year old brother glare at the mirror image of himself in his twin and shove.

"Itachi!" The word left his mouth but it was too late, dark haired gray eyed Naruto tumbled over and, like Itachi had a moment before, took out yet another of the towers of cans the store had set up to display some soup promotion or other they were having.

Haku's face was burning. It was going to melt right off like cheese on a pizza. Eyes closed with one hand over them for good measure he waited, listening for a moment until the last of the cans seemed to stop moving from the clatter to earth and then peeked.

Itachi was standing in a sea of damaged food. His little shoulders were stiff around his neck and black eyes wide. The only distinction between the two twins was the glaring ying and yang of their gaze. Where Naruto's pale eyes resembled his mother's, Itachi had his father's. Besides that they were identical, down to the wild black hair and inability to keep from blushing furiously when people looked at them.

Like, this particular moment.

Wishing that he had his sister's lack of embarrassment at life Haku grimaced and slid his hand down his face, as if to wipe the humiliation off.

"You guys!"

People were peering from aisles and the butcher had stopped...butchering, and was standing on tip toes to look past his window from the back room, eyes wide.

"H..he started it!" Naruto cried, and cans began to roll in all directions as he scrambled to his feet, wincing. There was blood coming out of his nose from where one of the cans had slammed and when looking at Itachi closer Haku could see several bad looking bruises starting to form on his pale skin.

"Ack! You're bleeding, and you're bruised, and I'm dead." He whispered, and pushing the cans aside with his sneakered shoe scrambled through the debris. "Come here, come on."

The soothing tone of their older brother's worried voice suddenly had both twin's chins trembling.

"Oh shoot." Haku gasped, panicking a little. "No, don't cry. It's okay, I'm here."

Both twins looked at him, their photo negative eyes glaring with distaste as well as teary emotion. "We're not crying!" They harmonized.

Movement out of the corner of his eye made Haku glance over and wince. A man the size and general shape of a bull was heading their way, the apron and name tag made him think he was likely a store manager and from his stride and glare he didn't look happy.

In that moment, with an irritated man heading his way and an older lady staggering up from the fall she had taken dodging the first tower of cans coming to earth there was only one way to describe Haku.

Flustered.

Straightening to his full height as the red faced manager came plowing in through the sea of cans he let out a short rapid breath and sucked in another one, channeling both his dads as the handle bar mustache of the incoming argument got right in his face.

Before the brute of a manager could even get a word out however Haku felt a hand on his arm and turned, freezing at the sight of a tiny girl with wide green eyes and a head of curly pink hair. She stood about a head shorter than him and flashing him a quick wink turned to the store manager.

"I am so impressed!" She put a hand to her chest to signify her sheer feeling in the moment. "I am so impressed that this store has the kind of management that cares more for it's customers and their safety than the dollars and dimes when an accident like this happens!"

Her voice was breathy, as though she were near tears. "It's so nice to see that in this time of corporate greed! Really! I have never been in this store before but I promise this is the kind of place I want to be a regular patron of."

The dark mustache on the mans lip seemed to shift like a wriggling ferret and Haku stared at him, eyes equally wide and confused.

Her little hand pinched his arm tightly and he jumped. "Yes... I - so impressed. Really. I cannot commend you enough." He found the words tumbling out of his mouth, eyes sliding sideways at the girl. He blinked watching her flash him a dazzling grin that made heat rise to the remaining places on his face that weren't already pink as her hair.

"Well.. uh.." The manager stepped back, tapping his fists together in a surprisingly boyish way. "We... uh... we do take our customer service to the next level." He muttered sheepishly, gathering the groceries of the lady who had fallen down and placing them in her basket carefully.

A sniff to their right made both the teens look over at Itachi and Naruto, studying the exchange as though confused. "Oh shoot." Haku whispered, accidentally dragging the girl who had his arm in a grip forward with him towards his brothers.

"Ah!" She gasped, and nearly fell as her feet found the curves of the soup cans beneath her green converse shoes.

"Oh!" With a gasp as surprised as her own Haku jumped, grabbing her arms and waist to steady her before he knew what he was doing, only to snatch his grip away as though she burned. "Sorry!"

She laughed, gathering her feet beneath her again and stood. "Thanks." Another grin followed that made the jade in her eyes glimmer and Haku look away.

"No... I..." he glanced at the store manager who was busily gathering the cans now and speaking loudly to near by patrons about how it was no big deal and that he was just glad everyone was okay. "Thank you, actually. I was pretty sure he was going to use me as a mop to clean up."

"Haku." Itachi's voice made him look over again and cursing mentally he reached out, gathering his baby brother's hands in his and pulling him along to can cleared ground, along with Naruto who was sniffing mildly and attempting to keep his hand to his face to staunch the flow of blood from his nose.

"You guys." He sighed, crouching down to Naruto's height as the twin sat on the ground. "Let's see." He mumbled, digging around in his pocket for a tissue.

"I'm going to be purple." Itachi commented lightly, studying his shins. "Maybe even green."

"Battle wounds." The girl replied lightly, giving him a wink like she had his older brother. And just like his brother Itachi's face colored rapidly. Her grin grew exponentially then.

"Chibi, you're in for a grounding I think." Haku murmured to Naruto who peeked at him with his mother's gaze over the white tissue sadly. "I figured."

The girl watched with interest as he gently wiped the blood from his brother's face as best he could and then hoisted him to his feet.

"What-?" Sora's voice cut through the chaos like a knife. "What the heck happened?"

A sigh escaped Haku then, feeling tired and uncomfortable all of a sudden he stood.

"Naruto, Itachi." Sasuke had dropped their groceries and was examining both the boys carefully, hands travelling briefly over the exposed bruises and quickly crusting blood on Naruto's face.

"Sorry, Otousan." Naruto lowered his head, and Itachi, following his cue did the same. "Sorry."

"That's nothing." The pink haired girl suddenly said, making everyone with the last name Uchiha turn to look at her. "Once I knocked over a display of glass jars filled with pickled eggs." She smiled unapologetically, lacing her arms behind her back. "Count your blessings."

Sora's face broke into a wide grin that matched hers. "You're my new friend." The statement was so bold it made Haku brighten to red again and he watched in half admiration half horror as his sister clamored through the cans and grabbed the pink haired girl's hands in hers. "I'm Sora."

"I'm Ume." She grinned back at Sora. "I just saved your brother from a tongue lashing." She hesitated then, glancing at Haku. "He's your brother right?"

Sora smirked then, catching something in the way she said it that Haku missed. "Yep. All brother."

Feeling like a sore thumb standing there being discussed Haku cleared his throat nervously. "Thanks again, for that." He murmured, raising a hand to rub the back of his neck. Ume watched, green eyes fixated before nodding, her smile still gleaming. "No worries."

"Okay." Sasuke's voice suddenly cut through the teen hormones overwhelming in their quantity. "Time to go. Sora, go grab that ten or eight or whatever pound bag of flour please. Itachi, Naruto if you step two inches away from me for while I pay I will have you permanently sowed to me by the end of the day, and Haku..." Sasuke trailed off then, finally getting a good look at the girl who was gazing at his son so admiringly.

One thought flickered through his head then at the sight of the green eyes and pink hair.

 _Uh oh._

"Ume?" A voice that made him close his eyes tight echoed from behind him. "Ume, again? You have to frolic less, really."

"Sorry, Aunty Sakura." Ume shifted her weight from her heels to her toes and back. "This one isn't my doing though."

Letting out a breath Sasuke stood and turned, meeting the bright green eyes he had actually managed to forget in the last ten years. Sakura started, blinking in surprise at him. "Uchiha-sensei?"

"Sensei?" Haku, Sora and Ume started together, blanching a little.

"Haruno-san." Sasuke murmured, perhaps a little too icily. "How are you?"

A laugh escaped the woman before him and she shook her head. "You never change. I'm good. How about you?" She glanced behind him at the three teens standing frozen, eyeing them with varying degrees of distrust and confusion. "Are those two yours?"

"Yes." Sasuke nodded. "And the other, is she...?"

"No." Sakura laughed again. "That's Ume, she's my niece." Another smile lifted to her face. "It's nice to see you, Uchiha-san. Please, say hello to Hyuuga-sensei."

"What the..." Sora murmured. "Who's Hyuuga-sensei?" Ume whispered back. "My mom." Haku replied softly, drawing the eyes of the two adults in front of them.

"Are you guys still teaching at the school?" Sakura cocked her head and studied him with a friendly expression. "We just moved into the neighborhood, and Ume starts there in a few days."

"I am..." Sasuke admitted slowly. "Hinata is at home for now, working on her thesis at the same time."

"Well, you'll all see Ume there then." She nodded at her niece. "Time to go."

"Right." Ume nodded and then turned to Haku sharply. "Just so you know." She grinned, leaning in, Haku jumped a little at her proximity, engulfed for a moment in the bright green of her eyes and the heat rising from his feet all the way to his ear drums in two seconds flat. "I think you're adorable."

And off she went after her Aunt who just laughed at the mirrored expressions on Sasuke and Haku's face.

Sora laughed too, pinching Haku's cheek like their father had done to her earlier.

"All the girls always want the Haku."

"Oh...no." Her brother and father sighed at the same time. Meanwhile Sora skipped off to get the flour, very excited with all the things she was going to get to tell her mom.

* * *

 _ **:)**_

 _ **leave me some love, ne?**_

 _ **Inky**_


	28. cinnamon

_**A.N**_

 _ **Just wanted to get a thought I had out there.**_

 _ **Much love,**_

 _ **Inky**_

* * *

Neither of the previous two pregnancies had been easy on Hinata. Between the morning sickness that over stayed its welcome into dinner time, and the lightheadedness that came with sharing her blood with another human being she knew what it was like to suffer over real estate battles with someone in her skin. However, having two little beans inside her at the same time resulted in the ability of being out voted within the municipality of her own body for the first time.

"...no." She shook her head, looking more green than a minute ago as Sasuke showed her a picture from a cook book. It was a lovely shrimp scampi, beautiful and delectable, and she was going to throw up just looking at it.

He sighed, squinting his eyes at her just a little. "We're nearing the end of this recipe book too, Hina."

Very quietly, with her eyes filling just a little with tears she gazed back at him, splayed out on their bed with pillows supporting her belly and back and head and calves and anything that could remotely be supported. Her hair spread out around her, a dark halo against the moon of her pale sickly face.

"...I...think I'm dying." she whimpered and at her words his irritation turned to goo inside him. "Oh Hina."

Everything sounded disgusting. Potatoes and beef, candy and leeks, seafood or lamb, tofu and rice. They went from aisle to aisle at the grocery store on the days when she wasn't too dizzy to stand and she hyperventilated between bouts of nausea

In the end they tended to come home with meals for him, Haku, and Sora and cinnamon buns.

A lot of cinnamon buns.

"I just want... " she paused as he ran his fingers through her hair gently, alleviating the pressure building in her head. "...bread... and icing." she began , eyes closed as she thought.

"This bread and icing... it wouldn't be rolled, with cinnamon involved in there somewhere, would it?" Sasuke inquired innocently.

Just as innocently Hinata let out a very slow breath. "No... but, it does sound like a good plan to add those aspects to it. I like where your head is at."

"Argh." He finally growled, stealing her mouth for his own pleasure and leaving her sighing breathlessly. "You can't live off of nothing but cinnamon rolls, Hinata Hyuuga."

"I'm offended." She whispered as he pressed his forehead against hers. "You didn't get my name right."

"I call you Hyuuga when I'm annoyed with you."

"Oh I see. It's on purpose." She blinked dreamily at him. "At least it's on purpose."

"When you eat something that isn't rolled, covered in icing and dipped in cinnamon I'll call you Uchiha again." He smirked pulling back to grab the recipe book once more. "Now, where were we?"

"Disgusting Shrimp Scampi."

"You got creative with that title." He muttered, finding the page and moving on. "How about Lamb Chops in Mushroom and-"

"...uuuuuugh."

"Nope." He sighed, shaking his head as he turned the page.

A knock on their bedroom door drew their ying and yang gaze up to the end of the room. In their new house the light flooded lazy and stretched like a cat laying out in the sun too long even in the morning. Windows across the entirety of the far wall supplied the touch of the day early on and the sparkle of stars late at night.

Still in their pajamas on an early Saturday morning they both frowned, surprised. Sora and Haku were anything but light sleepers and lately had been snoring like the dead straight into late morning. Something about knowing there was Otousan just a door down the hall seemed to deflate them with calmness that had been missing for some time and where they would get up several times a night to check on their mother before they now slept past breakfast if allowed.

Except for this particular morning.

"Ka-san? Kiki Toh-san?" Sora's voice sang from the doorway. "Knock knocky!"

"You're supposed to hit the door with your fist not say it." Haku sounded exasperated.

Softly, a little embarrassed the little voice said, "Oh." Then, like a cannon ball to the wood. **KNOCK KNOCK!**

"Sora! Gently!" Haku gasped.

"Come on in, chibis." Sasuke called, smirking. Hinata was giggling, watching as the handle twisted and Sora opened the door on tip toes, face spreading to a wide grin at the sight of her parents.

"Good morning." Sasuke began and choked as her body slammed into him on the floor and threw him backwards onto his elbows.

"...Um... Oka-san... I... Sora-chan and I..." Haku began standing by the door nervously holding a tray. Hinata half sat up, eyes wide. "Haku-kun, what's that?"

His face was pink, and keeping his eyes firmly on the tray he stood stiffly, blinking rapidly. "We... Sora-chan got the ... I boiled the kettle... and then we..." He paused, looking at his sister desperately.

Taking the cue Sora stood, throwing her hands up high, fingers spread wide. "I cookeded the bun!" Then after a pause where her eyes shone brilliantly. "Ta-da!"

"No, we didn't- you just cut it from the box." Haku rolled his eyes a little at Sora. "We practiced what you were going to say, Sora-chan."

Bringing the tray over to the bed where his mother was pushing herself up, one hand supporting her back and the other on her belly he settled the item smoothly on the covers and stepped back, hands tight in front of him.

The most butchered cinnamon bun in the world sat on one of their plastic plates, and sitting half filled with hot water was a tea bag in a mug. Beside it, in one of their play doh cups was a dandelion from the yard outside in water. A good morning bouquet.

Sasuke studied the little tray and turned to Haku, smiling. "Haku-kun, you both did a great job." He began and started at the sound of a sob, turning to look at Hinata who was trying desperately to keep herself in some sort of control as emotions and hormones tsunami-ed inside of her.

Wide eyed the kids blinked at their mother as she tried to staunch the flow of tears. "Ah, I'm so sorry- that's... Haku, Sora it's _beautiful_...Thank you so, so much babies. Argh, I can't stop crying, I'm happy, I'm happy, I promise... Sora-chan don't look so worried. Ah! Sasuke, help me!" she sobbed, smiling and laughing and failing to keep herself in control.

A little worriedly Haku looked at his father, who was smiling quietly. "It's okay, Haku-kun. You did great."

"Okay..." he nodded back, and then smiled. "Okay. They're happy tears. Like my daddy told me."

"Exactly." Dark eyes smiling at his son Sasuke pushed himself to his feet, throwing the recipe book over his shoulder onto the cushions of the rocking chair in the corner of the room in preparation for the incoming twins.

"All right, you win. Cinnamon buns it is." He grumbled lightly.

Hinata laughed again, still rubbing at her tear soaked face desperately. "Just a bit longer."

"Then we get cinnamon babies!" Sora jumped up and down, her nighty dancing around her little body along with her blonde hair.

After that, there was no moving her on the subject. The twins were cinnamon babies, and that was that.

* * *

 ** _Pregnancy cravings and Food Aversions. GOOD TIMES._**

 ** _Leave me some love, ne?_**

 ** _Inky_**


	29. raspberries

He heard the giggles first, when usually entering the house resulted in running feet along the wood floor and the giggle of children's voices. It was never quiet for long but especially right before dinner, after he got home the house was usually buzzing with noise.

So, when the sliding door opened and he stepped inside to near silence he paused and contemplated calling the police. Dark eyes worried he lowered the heavy bag he carried on his shoulder, full of his lap top and homework to mark before removing his shoes and stepping into the entryway.

On his right the stairs led upwards to the bedrooms. Beside it a hall smooth and polished led to the kitchen where he could see the chairs and table set up for dinner, and even on the counter the rice cooker steaming away happily, blinking it's lights at him like green eyes.

Toys lay scattered throughout the living room right off the entry to his left and to his right the study was scattered with crayons and paper and books, some on aviation and sailing, others on karate and rainbow ponies.

The silence had now lasted for a grand total of three minutes and his hand lingered by the phone, ready to call in the emergency of his entire missing family when he first heard the giggle and relieved looked up the stairs.

As he started climbing he realized ninja skills were required and quietly he padded on socked feet to the landing, peering at the end of the hall lined with opened doors to the bedroom he shared with his wife.

Another giggle sounded and then the tiny trumpeting of a little mouth blowing a loud raspberry followed by muffled shrieks of laughter.

"Now Itachi, now Itachi!" Haku's voice sounded thick, as though coming through a curtain and as he approached his bedroom door Sasuke felt himself smile until his jaw hurt and he had to cover his mouth with his hand, watching the giant lump beneath the blankets of the bed shifting with a dozen kicking limbs.

"Okie, okie." Sora's voice agreed, and after a deep breath another wet smacking raspberry reverberated through the blankets. This time the giggles were peppered throughout with Hinata's own jingle bell laugh and the high pitched squeaks of delight from a baby.

"My turn, my turn!" Sora's speech although elaborate in vocabulary and sentence structure would not clean itself up of it's baby accent, the u's turning to soft O's the r's disappearing entirely sometimes in her haste. "Fine. Fine." Haku sounded mildly annoyed but still the next raspberry echoed and Sora's shrieking laugh broke the silence through the fabric, her tiny leg shooting out from beneath it for a moment only to be snatched back like a noodle into a mouth.

Smirking still Sasuke wandered over to the side of the bed, eyeing the lumps beneath the blankets and finding the curves he recognized despite the cover. Taking a hold of the edge he lifted up the blanket sharply, drawing gasps and a little shriek of surprise from Sora before planting his mouth on Hinata's collarbone and blowing the loudest raspberry of them all.

Tangled in the blankets the kids hopped and jumped, baby Itachi and Naruto babbled like little brooks in the warmth and darkness of the blanket tent with their elder siblings and happy to be excluded from the momentary chaos ensuing from his extravagant arrival Sasuke pressed his wife to the bed, savoring her mouth while the kids struggled to free themselves from the covers.

Pulling back to study the soft bruised appearance of her lips he blinked, catching a look in her eye that was vindictive. And as Haku finally shoved the blankets off himself and all his favorite little bothers Hinata grabbed Sasuke's shirt hard and twisted her body, pulling him onto the bed. Before he could object her mouth found its way to his belly and with a deep breath she blew onto the smooth skin, the resulting raspberry sending the kids into fits of laughter.

To her surprise Sasuke too was struggling to not laugh, shoving her off with flailing limbs and wide eyed she stared at him, unaffected by his panic, only by her discovery.

"Are... are you _ticklish_ Sasuke Uchiha?" She sounded beyond disbelief and straight to giddy.

"No." His reply was as stern as only a true liar can make and he watched with growing anxiety as a wolfish expression he had never seen on his sweet wife's little face took over.

"You are!"

"No, I am not!"

"Otousan is ticklish!" Hinata cried, and like a battle cry her army fell upon him, little fingers and limbs moving to poke and prod.

Dinner was very late that night, and there were some very sore sides from all the giggles.

Laying in bed after the last baby was finally snoring Hinata wrapped her arms around him, pale fingers traipsing slowly down the side of his arm and over his bare chest, exploring by feel smooth skin she knew already like her name.

Her smell, and the warmth of her was now mingled with the scents he could recognize without really even knowing why, the sweet fruit of Sora's shampoo, Haku's wild and breezy perfume, the twins with their talc and tear-free soap. They lulled him to sleep, dragging his tired but otherwise content body into slow steady breaths, and just before he really gave in he felt the smooth fingers running over him take a detour, travelling near his ribs.

Opening his eyes at the last second, he gasped. "Hinata." Although in truth it was a futile hope, since her little nose was wrinkled and her smile was impish with victory.

"I can't believe you're ticklish!"

And he had to forget about sleeping for a little while as his wife decided to exploit this new found button. After all, who wouldn't?

* * *

 ** _This was inspired by a round of raspberry blowing that happened beneath the covers this morning with my babies._**

 ** _I used to think that the reason I couldn't write anymore was because I was not sad anymore, as I used to use it as an escape._**

 ** _Now I realize, I just didn't know what happy really was, and now that I do, the words have come again. I had, I suppose learned a lot about what sad looked like. And it wasn't until I learned what happy looked like that the stories could really breathe. They usually need both lungs._**

 ** _:)_**

 ** _Inky_**


	30. Tickles

_**These guys are just entirely too fun to write. When I'm stuck on something I take a break with them. :)**_

 _ **They are pretty consistently in my thoughts, maybe there will be a multi chapter mini story for them again. something light and fluffy in comparison to their original story?**_

 _ **Who knows.**_

 _ **Much love,**_

 _ **Inky**_

* * *

It was a Saturday, so technically he should have been allowed to sleep in, maybe ignore his homework until Sunday night, have some breakfast while reading, maybe shower if he felt like it.

But he was Haku, and he was the oldest of four. So he knew better. Even so, they still took him by surprise.

"Kamikaze!" Sora screamed as she flung open the door to his bedroom. Eyes snapping open Haku had just enough time to suck in a breath before she threw first Itachi and then Naruto flying from her arms into the bed- and consequently his stomach.

OOMPH!

Breath knocked clean out of his body Haku gasped, curling into himself as much as he could although Itachi and Naruto's limbs were mostly in the way, he cold feel a twitching leg on his cheek and a flailing arm smacking his bum.

"Wake up, Nii-san! Wake up!" Their chorus was too loud and as the spots began to fade he winced, just in time to see Sora taking several steps back into his room, like a runner at the Olympics. Arms at the ready, poised to sprint, tongue sticking out in concentration.

"Ready, brother dear?"

"Sora, you little-"

"Bombs away!" And she ran the four steps to the bed, raising her knees up in her pajamas and landed hard, knocking the air out of him yet again.

"You little monsters!" Haku's shout was deafening. "I'm going to roast you and serve you to Otousan for dinner!" And as he thrashed to get his blankets off the twins and Sora scampered off and out the door, shrieking.

"Oka-san!" Itachi's voice was high pitched and a tad more than stressed.

Ripping out the door Haku careened through the hall, slamming his shoulder hard into the wall of the first turn before bouncing off and rushing down the stairs after his siblings.

The thump, thump, thump tumble and shrieking laughter was followed by "Ow, my butt!" From Sora who had, as per usual slid most of the way instead of stepping.

"He's coming!" Naruto screamed and the clamor echoed as they rushed through to the end of the hall.

"Run!" Sora cried and Haku pelted into the still quiet kitchen, half listening to his mother's voice calling from her bedroom for them not to break anything.

The three bothers of his life stood tightly wound on the other side of the table, their limbs at the ready for jerking to the right or left depending on his choice. Haku glared at Sora. "This was all your battle plan. I know you're the leader."

"What gave you that idea?" Sora batted her wide blue eyes, pressing a finger to her cheek innocently. "I'm just a little girl, don't you know?"

"Ugh, that's entirely too convincing. Do you practice that?!" Haku half laughed and then shot forward towards the right sending the chaos of his siblings rushing around the table, throwing chairs in his way before pelting down the hall towards the entrance with their brother hot on their heels.

Naruto's fuzzy socks however betrayed him and as he slid in an attempt to rush up the stairs he floundered, feet sliding and with a crash went flying into the front entrance over the lip of the sunken front step smashing hard into the doorway.

Itachi, ever the loyal twin gasped, "Naruto!" And threw himself down to grab his brother. Sora hesitated between rushing up the stairs to avoid defeat and helping her comrades and waiting too long screamed as Haku crashed into her. It was a mess, legs and arms and screams and "Stop tickling my armpit!" shrieks that ripped through what should have been a quiet house.

Upstairs in their room Sasuke buried himself further into the bed, dropping a pillow onto his own head as well as Hinata's. "This is why we needed a house, we would have been lynched in an apartment."

"Not my feet!" Sora was now demanding, kicking violently as Haku pinned all three beneath his significantly bigger body. "Not my feet! Haku! I'll kill you! Argh!" and she half laughed half cried as he ripped off her socks and tickled mercilessly.

A knock sounded then, a little timidly but since all four of their heads were practically pressed to the wood of the door they froze, blinking rapidly.

"Shoot." Haku gasped, and the four scrambled off each other, straightening pajamas with fingers and brushing back wild tangled hair idly before Haku opened the door a crack, blinking in the brightness of the morning sun.

Standing on the front step was the pink haired green eyed Ume, her expression a mixture of disbelief and full on delight. "Good morning, Haku-kun."

"...uh..." Haku began stupidly, gaping a little. She was perfect, curly pink hair a wild and beautiful untamed mane, green eyes framed by freckles and a dazzling white smile. "...g..good morning." He finally managed, aware suddenly that he had literally not even had a chance to brush his teeth.

"Ume!" Sora cried, ripping the door open wider so that she could take in the true chaos happening. All four of the Uchiha siblings looked significantly rumpled and beside Haku Itachi stood flushing crimson at the sight of the pretty girl on their front step.

"Hi, I was hoping maybe you would like to hang out today." Ume smirked. "I was bored, but I could just listen at the door, that's entertaining too."

"You could join in." Sora winked. "Haku is great at tickling."

"Yeah." Naruto agreed. "He's good at that."

Ume turned her green eyes from Sora to Haku then, another smile slowly spreading over her face as she surveyed him with obvious interest. "Is that so?"

"I have to go." Haku's voice was uncharacteristically high as he turned, ears cherry red and shoulders tight.

Sora laughed and Ume at the door wrinkled her nose with amusement. "Aw, come on. Nii-san..." the blonde threw her hands up. "You were winning! This means you forfeit!"

"...you had a secret weapon." Haku muttered to himself, stumbling quickly to his room to hide. As he passed his parents room Sasuke peered out the door, blinking in surprise at the radiating heat coming off his son's face. "Haku?" He paused when his son winced a little at his name. "What-?"

"Have breakfast with us, come on in!" Sora's voice called from downstairs. "Are you sure? Is that okay?" Ume replied and Sasuke let his sentence drop away, closing his eyes. "Oh." He said.

"Yeah. So... I'm gonna skip breakfast..." Haku explained, walking backwards into his room before shutting the door quickly.

"Aw..." Hinata sighed from behind Sasuke, although her eyes were certainly smiling too much for it to seem entirely sincere.

"You _should_ pity him." Sasuke scolded, walking back to bed determinedly, off hand he pinched her bum, making her squeak and with a bat of her lashes her face was burning. "It's your fault he melts."

"I'll go bring him breakfast upstairs." Hinata gasped then, rubbing at her pinched cheek lightly before rushing out the door.

Smirking Sasuke sunk further into the bed, breathing in her smell, listening to the chaos and noise.

Completely and determinedly content.

* * *

 **leave me some love, ne?**

 **Inky**


End file.
